Cliché
Overused expression: a phrase or word that has lost its original effectiveness or power from overuse... but what does that really mean? Beast Boy x Raven
a/n:
Sorry to thedude that wrote "Normal Like You", don't get the chapter name wrong. We love that story, but we like twisting things, too. If you're uncomfortable with us using that name then message us... or something.
BB/Rae and Teen Titan fanfic clichés make Cid and Aia sad. Especially when BB cuts himself and Rave commits suicide. Cy isn't all that bad! Why are you so prejudiced against the electronically enhanced folks? Star isn't a prep and Robbie-pooh isn't interested in anyone other than Starfire (unless you count Slade).
Oh and BB does... not... SWEAR! (Maybe a little in the comics, but this is in the cartoon section, isn't it?)
Okay, now that we're done ranting we can start. You get a cybernetic cookie if you can identify all the spoofs and clichés we've either included or poked fun at (which is impossible, unless you have major telepathy).
Just think of this fan fiction as one big inside-joke.
"There's nothing more annoying than when you can't play your tuba in the bathtub." – Beast Boy
Normal Unlike You
"Yo, Raven! Tell me... what are your feelings for me?"
"Oh, BB! I like, totally like you, like yeah! I mean, like, who wouldn't? Your awesome powers are like soooo like, cool! And your kitty face is like, the awesomest. It's like so kyoooot!"
"Sweet! So you think I'm cool?"
"Duh! You're like the best-looking guy I've ever like, met!"
"And you think my jokes are funny?"
"Like, yeah!"
"And you don't think this spandex makes me look fa—"
"Beast Boy," Starfire interrupted, "I am sorry to disrupt your playing of the pretend— but may I join you?"
"Sure, Star. You can have this part of the stage." He motioned to an unoccupied area on the miniature puppet theater. A small wooden version himself and Raven was sprawled out on the timber stage.
"Thank you," she replied before setting herself on the floor and picking up a puppet replica of herself. "Robin, you do not wish to participate with us?"
"There you are, Slade! Of course, I should have suspected it! On the cover of Glamour Girl. How ingenious... I mean, no Starfire, I think I found a new lead on Slade. You go on without me!" He replied from a stack of magazines.
"Very well, Robin." Starfire turned back to playing with her marionette.
Beast Boy was too absorbed in his monologue to notice.
"Okay, Raven. Second question: How does it feel to be in the same room as me?"
"Like, cool, like dude! You're like the awesomest guy ever and like--"
"Ugh, how can you stand those things?" Cyborg shuddered from the couch. "That puppet dude still gives me the creeps!" He shivered again before turning back to Mega Monkey 4.
"Dude, the guy was just misunderstood! He was too obsessed about being Pinocchio. It was obvious he wanted world peace." Beast Boy pointed at Robin, "Like him!"
Robin didn't comment.
"Well, his remote control was creepy enough. And so was his face."
"How can a remote control be creepy?"
"It—uh... it was just creepy, okay?"
"Yeah... okay dude, whatever you say." Beast Boy finished off slyly.
Cyborg snorted indignantly. "You don't believe me, little man?"
"Sure I do, Cy. I just had no idea remote controls could look creepy."
"Well if the guy was creepy, then so was his remote!"
"Your logic is quite intriguing, Cyborg," Starfire interrupted the argument.
"See? Star thinks he's creepy too."
No comment.
"BB?"
Alas, Beast Boy's attention span was quite limited: he went back to playing with the marionettes.
"So, Raven... What's your opinion on-- TOFU!"
"It's like the best, like ever! And I totally didn't mean it when I like, dissed it. I mean, the soybeans are like so like yummy, and like good and like... yummy! And you know who else is like, yummy? Dude, like you ar—"
"What is going on here?" The fourth interruption was voiced.
"Uh—Raven! Dude, you're like—here! I mean, you just appeared—from nowhere... Creepy."
Raven had inconspicuously come amongst the normal happenings of the Teen Titans' everyday afternoon life. Her hood was pulled back and the expression on her face was one quite priceless—even Beast Boy noted that.
"Why are you playing 'House' on the living room carpet? And what are you doing with my puppet replica?" Her eyes narrowed suspiciously.
"Um... I was totally not making you say things with the dolly-thing... right, guys?" Beast Boy laughed uncertainly.
"But, Beast Boy... is that not what you were doing? I believe that is what you call the 'speaking for Raven', yes?" Starfire said from her place on the floor, her marionette suspended from three strings and a wooden cross.
"... Maybe...?"
"Beast Boy—" Raven began menacingly.
"So, who wants some ice-cream?" Cyborg pitched in to stabilize the route of the conversation. "I'll look in the fridge to see the kinds we've got."
While Cyborg went about his task, Raven gave Beast Boy another ominous look before going into the kitchen for her daily tea.
"Phew, I thought Raven was gonna throw me out the window for that one." He took a mischievous look at the Raven marionette before furtively picking it up again and saying, "But seriously, Raven, you think I'm cool, right?"
"Of course, BB. You're like the cutest dude like, ever! And I totally love your like, cute purple span—"
"BEAST BOY!"
He winced.
"What do you think you're doing?" Raven conjured a face that might have beaten that of Trigon's. Her quick reappearance from the kitchen did not distress anyone.
"Nothing! I was just—uh, um... playing with uh...your puppet? See, um...watch."
Beast Boy picked up the marionette and twisted it to face the infuriated Raven.
"Look, I'm Raven! The cool person on the Titan team who's totally not about to kill Beast Boy right now."
Raven's face darkened.
"--And um... who almost destroyed the Earth— once-- but that's like-- okay!"
He added hastily.
Raven's eyes glowed white.
"'Cause uh... the Titans are totally okay with that! Happens to every dude—"
Raven's mouth quirked into a menacing growl.
"--I mean, uh, that's not what I meant!"
Raven's cloak non-gravitationally flew open.
"Eek!—please don't kill me, Raven!"
The puppet theater trembled, engulfed in black energy, while the Raven replica in Beast Boy's hand was sent sprawling to the floor. Beast Boy finished off his last prayer.
Suddenly, Raven's cloak stopped billowing, her face cleared, and her eyes regained their normal appearance. She drew up her hood and glared at Beast Boy.
"Whatever. I don't ever want to see those things again... got it?"
Upon realizing that Raven was not about to murder him, Beast Boy took his chances.
"Dude, Raven! Did you just loose control of your powers?"
She snorted in reply, before turning her back on him and walking back into the kitchen, where her tea pot was spewing out vapor. She poured herself a cup of tea and added a few tablespoons of sugar.
Beast Boy did not surrender his upper hand on the situation.
"You did loose control, Raven! That's so unlike you—I mean, it's like the time you fought Dr. Light and you had to beat Tri—"
"Shut it, Beast Boy."
"But you do that weird-thingie—meditute or something—everyday! More like every hour, like of every minute, like of every—"
"I said, 'shut it'."
"Dude, did you give your emotions more freedom or something?"
Raven turned to Beast Boy. "Don't be an idiot. I'd never let my emotions have more freedom—you realize the devastation that would cause?"
"But, that would be so awesome! Then Happy could laugh at all of my jokes and—"
"No. I'd never let that happen. The consequences would be too great. I'm never letting my emotions have more sovereignty."
"Sweet! So you'll do it?"
"No. I. Will. Not." She said through gritted teeth.
"Please, Ravie—"
"Don't call me Ravie. I hate that name. And no—the idea is obstreperous and dangerous."
"Pweasie Rave! Please please plea—"
"I said 'NO'! And no 'Rave' either!"
"Come on, Rae! Please?"
"Don't like, call me Rae! That's so like, totally un-cool man!"
"...but please, Rah—! Wait, what did you just say...?"
Raven clamped her mouth shut.
Silence.
"Aha! I finally caught you now, Slade! Hiding between McDonalds' trashcans, eh?"
More silence.
"'Kay, well we've only got vanilla! Who wants some?" Cyborg shouted from the kitchen.
Awkward silence.
"...Guys?"
"Uh, vanilla sounds good!" Beast Boy did the honors of breaking the silence.
"I shall retrieve the mustard!" Puppet in hand, Starfire announced, gliding towards the cupboard.
Turning to Raven, Beast Boy said, "Raven, are you coming?"
"No, I-I'll go meditate."
"But—the ice-cream! Who in their right mind would say, 'no' to ice-cream?"
"...Hah," Raven replied and began her short walk out of the living room.
Uncertainly, Beast Boy followed. "Hey, Cy! Keep my ice-cream warm for me, will ya?"
"Sure... BB," Cyborg watched Beast Boy's retreating form with a distorted face. "...whatever you say."
"So, Raven... you okay?"
"Just peachy."
"Uh... yeah... Beautiful day, huh?"
"How can you tell? There are no windows in the hallway."
Beast Boy scratched the back of his head and laughed nervously, "Good point..."
"So, how's your day?"
"Quit trying to console me, Beast Boy. What happened back there was just an accident. Leave it alone."
"But—but..."
"Leave it. I don't want to talk about it."
"Please tell me, Ravie!"
"I told you not to call me 'Ravie'!"
"I neeeeed to know, Rae!"
"Quit calling me all these dumb names!"
"Please, Rah—"
"SHUT UP! Shut. UP! I hate this! I hate you! Leave me alone! Can't you see I don't want to talk to you! I hate you! I hate your stupid jokes and I hate your dumb noisiness! I can see why Terra left you but not why she was ever interested in you in the first place! You're just an idiotic, attention-seeking moron!"
For once, Beast Boy was speechless.
"I mean—sorry," Raven's forehead wrinkled in thought, "It must have been my sentiments once more—do they seek to overpower me? Perhaps Rage... but no, they have all illustrated themselves. Happy... Rude... Brave... Rage... Knowledge and Wisdom as we speak... That leaves... no! It can't be! I must not show these emotions. The consequences would be catastrophic."
"Uh... Rae—I mean, Raven! ...do you need some time alone...?"
"What? Um... yes—I mean no!—please stay with me!" Upon seeing Beast Boy's face, she corrected herself, "No, I'm fine."
"...right."
Raven's metal door stood before them, uninvitingly. Raven looked up at Beast Boy, not understanding his emotionless form. Wait... looked up at him?
Shyly, Raven posed the question, "Have you... gotten taller?"
Beast Boy grinned at her widely, then unromantically drew a foot to her face, "No, new shoes! Aren't they cool?"
Raven eyed the three-inch tall clown shoes and glared, "Whatever. I'm going to meditate."
"You do that then!"
"And um... I'm sor--" She gagged on her words.
"You're what?"
"I'm—never mind. Bye." She turned back to her door and unbolted it.
"Yeah... bye."
She was gone before hearing his response.
Beast Boy watched the closed door for a moment, then turned on his heel and shouted, "I scream! You scream! We all scream for ice-cream!"
From her room, Raven promptly ignored his exclamation. Her thoughts were scrambled and confusing. Had she almost told Beast Boy she was sorry? Perhaps Nevermore would give her answers. She spotted her meditating mirror on a shelf and set herself to the task of probing her mind.
The first sound to greet her was unexpected. Quite unexpected.
"We want Freedom! We want Freedom! Give us Freedom or give us—"
"Raven? You're missing the strike! Come on! Get a sign and start chanting!" Happy shouted to an astounded Raven.
"What's... going on?"
From among the sign-laden emotions, Brave volunteered the explanation, "We're striking for Freedom! This is a country of the free so we want Freedom!"
"We're not in a country of the free! And I know for a fact that we're in Raven's head! I know--" shouted Knowledge.
"We know you know! You always know!" replied the emotions.
"Wait... you're striking? You can't strike! You're in my mind! You're my emotions! Emotions don't strike."
Happy winked at Raven and said, "Well, now they do!"
"So that was all you? You all made me say those things?"
"Better believe it, Sistah!" Rude piped in.
"So, give us Freedom or give us Bea—"
"I want lollypops!"
"Books! I want the new Webster!"
"Books are dumb. I want a whole bunch of whoopee-cushions! And those clown shoes—"
"Sky-diving! I want to sky-dive! And go on Mount Everest!"
"Beware of what you wish..." Wisdom halted the screaming voices, "But dream of what you must."
The congregation stared at her for a second, then:
"If you guys get that, then I get world domination! And dumb kindergarten kids bowing at my feet!"
"...can... I, um... get the closet on the third floor, please...?" Timid asked shakily.
Raven watched her emotions with slight annoyance and bewilderment.
"Humph," then turning to Affection, "So what do you want? Worldwide sisterly love?"
Affection looked back at Raven dreamily, "No power and freedom could give me what I want."
"So... what is it?"
"Only the cutest most handsome—"
"Huh!"
Affection only sighed. The rest of her emotions began their chants again, "Freedom! Give us Freedom!"
"Freedom for the sentiments!"
Brave waved a poster in Raven's face. 'FREEDOM OR DEATH' was scribbled upon it.
"No! My powers are too unpredictable for this. I can't give you freedom. Even a small lapse in control would cause disaster. You all know this!"
"Of course we know this. We know much, Raven. We know of your dreams and wishes. We also know of your thoughts and—"
"Then you know by now that my answer's adamant. I said 'no', and that's what I mean! And clean up this mess. I don't want my mind to be a trash can." Raven gestured at the 'freedom' posters, glue bottles, spray cans and markers sprawled about the floor. She didn't bother to ask how the items got there.
"Aw, come on, Ravie! We just want a little free will. You never let us do anything fun!" Happy coaxed.
"No. I'm not explaining myself ag—"
Rude interrupted with a belch.
"—again," Raven continued, "And don't make me say uncharacteristic things either. I don't want to have to give Beast Boy a genuine apology."
"Did you just say—" Brave began.
"Beast Boy?" The rest of the emotions interrupted dreamily.
"Yeah... I did. Anyway, the answer's still 'no' and I'm missing my ice-cream because of this pointless conversation."
"But—Freedom!"
"No Freedom. Stop making me repeat myself!" Raven turned her back on her emotions and walked through the Forbidden Door too quickly to hear, "You know what to do, girls."
Chop chop chop.
Beast Boy deftly cut a carrot.
Chop chop chop... choooop.
"This place needs some music, doesn't it, Mr. Cuddles?"
He looked at the inanimate teddy bear on the counter.
"Of course it does!"
Grabbing a towel, he dried his hands before reaching towards the boom box switch.
"...When I'm not with you I lose my mind,
Give me a sign,
Hit me baby one more--!"
"GAH! What is this, shitake mushrooms?" He switched to a different station.
"--You love my lady lumps,
My hump, my hump, my hump,
My humps they got--"
"AHHHH! My ears! They buuuurn!" He switched to the next station.
"--my age again?
What's my age again?"
"Sweet! This is actually normal!" He began singing along as he cut his carrots.
"Then later on, on the drive home And that's about the time that bitc—ouch!"
I called her mom from a pay phone
I said I was the cops and your husband's in jail
This state looks down on sodomy.
Beast Boy unbelievingly stared at his bleeding finger.
"Beast Boy, you cut?! I had no idea—I didn't know you hid behind a happy mask to hide your undying tragic sorrow! Is this a representative of your emotional pain inflicted on you by us being judgmental of your behavior? ...or is it Terra?" Robin yelled from the doorway; Starfire's astonished face was close behind.
"What? You cut?" Cyborg cried from the sofa, "Man, I thought only girls did that."
"What is this 'cutting'? Why is Beast Boy in sorrow?"
Robin looked uncomfortable, "Uh, it's sort of what girls do when they're unhappy with their lives."
Starfire looked ready to cry as she pounced on Beast Boy with a great glomp, "I shall comfort you in your feminine sadness!"
"Gah—Star, let... go..." Beast Boy choked as he struggled to breathe, "I'm—I'm... not..."
Raven chose this moment to make her entrance. "What's with all the commotion? This is the third interruption in one day!"
"Beast Boy cuts!" Cyborg yelled, as he pointed an accusing finger at the asphyxiating victim.
"No, I-I... don't!" He pulled away from Starfire's death-grip. "I don't CUT! It was just carrots! Those dumb short ones too!"
"Uh huh... sure, Beast Boy," Robin said slyly.
Starfire looked at Beast Boy understandingly and asked, "Is it the month of the time?"
Beast Boy was too shocked to respond.
"So this is what it's all about? Beast Boy's PMSing?"
"What? What!"
Raven grinned slightly, "Should I get the tampons, Beast Boy? Or should I say 'Breast Boy'?"
The entire congregation laughed at Beast Boy's humiliated face.
"I don't... I'm not... I'd never... DUDE! I don't cut!"
"Haha—sorry, BB. We're not accusing you of anything. We're just—hey wait! You're not wearing any gloves!" Cyborg announced.
Beast Boy looked at his bleeding hand and blushed, "Uh, yeah... I'm not."
Cyborg was on the verge of tears, "Is that... i-is that... NAIL POLISH!"
"NO! I totally don't manicure my hands every day on Saturday!"
Starfire nearly keeled over with giggles.
"Dude, I seriously don't! My nails are just normally pink like that..."
The unintended joke sent everyone but Raven into a mad fit of laughter. Beast Boy's face turned the color of the cut tomato in his salad bowl, "It's not really that funny, guys... I-I mean, not-not really..."
Raven noticed Beast Boy uneasiness with the situation and felt a pang of guilt ripple through her. After all, she had entitled him 'Breast Boy' when it was uncalled for.
"Can I see your cut, Beast Boy?"
"No! No, it's fine... I'm fine. It's all fine." He slowly backed away.
Raven gave him a flat look and hissed through her teeth, "Just let me see it!"
Beast Boy gradually extended his hand, a frightened look on his face. Raven's pale hand placed itself upon his and a blue energy engulfed Beast Boy's hand. The cut immediately disappeared and along with it, any sign of his 'cutting problem'.
"Uh... Thanks, Raven!" Beast Boy exclaimed.
"Don't mention it."
The rest of the Titans, finding the situation no longer entertaining, left to their normal habits.
Cyborg stayed long enough to apologize again, "Sorry man. Wanna play Mega Monkey?"
"Yeah... it's alrigh--" Beast Boy looked at his watch and gasped, "Dude, we just totally missed Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles! I mean—" he corrected himself, "—yeah, I'm so ready to kick your butt at Mega Monkey!"
"I'll load the game!"
"Awesome! Get the popcorn!"
Raven rolled her eyes and muttered, "Boys."
"Farewell, cruel world," Raven said dramatically as she held a blade to her heart, "Fair dagger, do this unholy deed, and wash my pain to naught."
Indecisive hands brought the sharp blade nearer—her life ebbing away as the space lessened between herself and the sinful object.
But before the deed could be done, a shaky voice inquired, "Raven? What are you—"
"Leave me, sir! For my welfare is no concern to thee!"
Beast Boy stepped closer to the dark mistress, captured by her moonlight beauty—her marble-white skin, her striking indigo eyes. Entranced, he drew near enough to behold the most petite of details: the frightened and trembling features, seeking for a source of comfort.
"Raven, I want to help. Please, let me help." He lightly touched her pale hand, surprised at the warmth that greeted him. Gently, Beast Boy took away her dagger, wide eyes following his movements. But Raven did not resist his doing. Almost... she wished for his touch to undo her fear—to help her.
"Dear sir..." she began.
Beast Boy placed a comforting arm around her shoulders, his other hand throwing the blade to the ground.
"I fear of this bonding. Such thoughts of it leave me in dread and terror. Continuation becomes unpredictability. At times, I fear thee, sir. I fear this-this affection that has grown between us."
"I'm afraid too sometimes. But that's why I'm here for you. That's why I'm here for both of us."
"Is thee here for me now, sir?"
"Yes, Raven. I'm here for you just now."
From the protection of his arms, she leaned up, her face visible as the moon to him. Beast Boy lowered his head, slowly closing his eyes and awaiting the future mere moments away.
Softly, Raven said, "Then thee must catch me when I fall..."
His face fell lower, a matching rhythm to her ascending features. Their balanced movements were slowly closing the gap.
So close. Only a moment more, a thought formed. And then, as their lips gently brushed—
Beast Boy woke up screaming.
a/n:
So... let's HOPE that was only a dream. Sorry Guys, but that's the angstiest we get. Any Rae/BB fan fiction more angstier than that goes in our mental trash can.
And if we missed anything or wrote something completely false, consider this fic an AU. We didn't do much homework on this.
Yeah, flames are welcome with open arms and so are comments on some random TT fanficcy clichés. We've only read the real mainstream ones.
If you're offended, then good for you. We love to hear about that in your message/review.
Aia and Cid hereby declare that they do not have possession of Teen Titans, Blink 182's "What's My Age Again?", Britney Spears' "Hit Me Baby, One More Time", Black Eyed Peas' "My Humps", and shitake mushrooms.