My entry for the Castle Hiatus Ficathon 2014. The idea for this was born out of a premise which I've always wanted to explore, so what better time to do so? Rating may change.

It is an AU fic, although the beginning portion of this story will correspond to events which happened from between Cops and Robbers and 47 Seconds. This is mainly because the development of the Castle/Beckett relationship is important to events which transpire later on. The title comes from the Delta Goodrem song of the same name, if anyone is interested.

Big thanks to Ally and Sara for being my sounding boards on this one!

Disclaimer:

I obviously don't own anything which you recognize. Any dialogue taken from the episodes is written in italics. I'm just a girl with a laptop, playing with the toys in Andrew Marlowe's playground.

Last Night On Earth

Chapter One

The sound of glass shattering breaks through the tense silence and she feels the ground shake violently beneath her feet as the van is rocked by the explosion outside. She's dimly aware that the boys are still on the other end of the line, but the phone goes ignored. What feels like an eternity passes, although in reality its a matter of minutes as the SWAT team coordinate a plan to breach the ruined bank. They've labelled it a rescue mission, but Beckett knows how this works. It's more of a formality at this stage; she can see the identical expressions of resignation on their faces, because they know how this ends. They've seen this scenario play out countless times before.

She steps blindly out of the van, fear with a vice-like grip on her heart as she contemplates the unthinkable. For a second she's rooted to the spot taking in the devastation, before drawing her weapon and flashlight and following the SWAT team into the building. "Ca-" She can't quite get his name out the first time, brick dust infiltrating her words, clogging in her throat and causing her eyes to water. "Castle!" Her face contorts, mouth twisting into a grim line and she sweeps her flashlight over the room, the light doing little to penetrate the gloom. "Castle!" She calls determinedly, only to be met by another wall of silence . Her heart is in her mouth. She's having to force herself to breathe evenly. And when she calls out a third time, she doesn't care that everyone can hear the way her voice cracks, the way his name is laced with desperation and everything else she has never had the courage to put a label on.

The dust is beginning to settle and the alarm which was set off by the bomb has been silenced, leaving her ears ringing and slightly deaf to the commotion around her. And then she hears it. "Beckett!" Her heart leaps, and her legs are moving of their own accord towards the source of the sound. Her flashlight illuminates his face, and when Castle waves sheepishly at her through the bars of the safety deposit box room, she doesn't know whether to laugh or cry.

"They're here!" She draws attention to the hostages, holstering her gun, the knot in her chest loosening as she sees that he's physically unhurt. Relief and adrenaline course through her veins in equal measure, and she even manages that laugh when she hears Castle speak, "I told you, eh?"

It's on trembling legs that Kate kneels down in front of him, oblivious to anyone else's presence. He chuckles again and she swears it's the most beautiful thing she's ever heard. It's getting increasingly easier to breathe and her face splits into a brilliant smile. Thank God he's okay. She glances away only momentarily, just long enough to locate a knife in order to free him from his bindings. "Here we go. Ready? Okay.." She slices through the ties and he flexes his wrists to ease some of the discomfort.

Kate releases a shallow breath she didn't realize that she was holding, still unable to tear her gaze from him. "How are you?" Her voice is low and concerned, and she lets her fingers ghost across his suit collar, under the guise of brushing dust from it. In reality she just needs to touch him, to reassure herself that he's still alive and breathing. Castle radiates warmth, she can feel the slightly elevated rise and fall of his chest and abandons all pretense when her touch lingers a fraction too long to be considered strictly platonic.

The corners of his eyes crinkle up when he smiles and still they don't break eye contact. Relief floods him and he's pretty sure his expression is identical to hers. Kate is finding it difficult to control her racing heart again, but for very different reasons now. They're so close that she can almost taste his scent and it is making her dangerously close to throwing caution to the winds. Her eyes search his, and it's probably the worst thing she could have done because she can't bring herself to let him go.

Its safe to say her self-restraint has been compromised for a long time now when it comes to Castle, and months – years – spent denying it have all culminated in this moment. So for the first time in a long time Kate Beckett stops thinking. And then she kisses him, betraying the hunger that has been burning steadily within her for so long now, that she can't remember what life used to be like before he came.

A soft cough causes them to break apart and when they do, her cheeks are flushed and she's breathing so hard she could have just ran a marathon. "He's not the only one here you know?" Martha's voice breaks her out of her daze and Kate feels mildly embarrassed when she holds up her still bound wrists.

"I'm so -" She chances one more sidelong glance at Castle – who is now slumped against the wall, looking more than a little disappointed – before turning her attention back to Castle's mother. "I'm so sorry Martha," she slices through the zip ties cleanly. "How you doing?"

The fatigue is evident on the older woman's face but she smiles, accepting the hands of her son when he moves to pull her up off the dusty floor, "I'm okay," Martha answers, "We both are..." She lets the end of her sentence linger and there's something all too knowing in the way she looks at Kate, that leaves the detective unable to meet her eyes.

Now that the adrenaline is wearing off, Kate can't believe she was that bold and another blush creeps up across her cheeks. "Excuse me a minute," She starts, spotting Captain Peterson out of the corner of her eye and taking the necessary out he's providing. When she walks away though, it's with a lightness in her step that hasn't been there all day, and a smile that as hard as she tries, she's unable to wipe from her face.

She's forced to try though, when briefing Ryan and Esposito on what they know so far, and when Castle rejoins them after reassuring his daughter that he is indeed fine, it's all she can do not to look at him the way she did inside. Apparently kissing him has done nothing to lessen the tension between them, and if anything it has made their situation that little bit more unbearable. On the one occasion she does dare to look at him, he's watching her too, a hint of that shit-eating smirk threatening to bloom across his face. Kate's eyebrows knit together and she gives him the look she reserves especially for moments just like this, but the normalcy of it all makes her want to laugh out loud.

Until the moment when they're all brought back to earth with a sobering reason which makes the case start to make sense. There's nothing they can do at the scene; the clear up operation is well underway and all of the hostages have been accounted for and sent home, so she and Castle head for her cruiser in silence, both with their own thoughts for company. He falls into step beside her, bumping her gently with his shoulder as they walk and they exchange a smile, "Hell of a day huh?"

The frown lines are back, "It's not over yet, Castle." His name escapes on a sigh – because she definitely won't be forgetting today in a hurry – and a tendril of hair escapes from the confines of her bun, falling across her face.

They come to a standstill and Castle reaches out automatically, tucking the curl behind her ear, "I know," He answers simply, "But you'll get him." He's looking at her with a combination of pride and admiration, which she doesn't feel is justified and after today, it's just too overwhelming.

"Staring is still creepy, Castle," She teases, in an attempt at regaining some levity. He just gives her a winning smirk and she's unable to prevent another roll of her eyes. Just like that things are okay again. "C'mon John McClane, let's go put this thing to bed and if you play your cards right I may even buy you a drink later."

Castle's jaw drops slightly at the movie reference and he has to scramble to catch up with her. She's waiting for him in the car, a grin playing at the corners of her lips, which widens when he next speaks. "Well I certainly never had you pegged for a Die Hard fan, Detective."

The delight in his voice makes her blush.

Once they are back at the precinct, the missing pieces from their investigation slot into place fairly easily and then there's an anxious twenty minute period where Beckett is kept on the line. The bullpen is so quiet you could hear a pin drop. They wear matching looks of relief when she hangs up the phone, and despite their tiredness there's a moment where they celebrate this small victory. Ryan and Esposito leave to pick up the mother and son, and Castle watches them banter back and forth on their way to the elevator, before turning his attention back to Beckett. She's sat cross-legged in her chair and her eyes flicker briefly shut, in an attempt to centre herself, as the full weight of the day comes crashing down.

"Even as a hostage, I help you solve murders. Beckett I think – I think you have the perfect partner."

She chuckles at this, gratitude shining in her eyes and offers a silent prayer of thanks that he's still here to joke about this. "Yeah, except he doesn't like doing paperwork." She's aiming for flippant, but is unable to keep the smile from invading her words. She angles her head towards him.

"Touche."

He's looking back at her now; all the unsaid things between them are more noticeable than ever, just lingering in the air and making her feel hopelessly exposed. "So, Old Haunt?" She asks, filling a silence which becomes more unbearable the longer it stretches on. "I'll buy you that drink."

Castle doesn't reply straight away, fiddling with his phone and firing off a text, "No, but I'll do you one better."

Any reservations that Kate has about dinner at the loft melt away as soon as she walks through the door and is swept up into Martha's rib-crushing embrace. Dinner itself is a light-hearted affair and she finds that they have to do very little in the way of prompting her to join in with the conversation. Topics range from recounting the day's events to the latest instalment of Nikki and Rook's adventures, all with Castle's creative spin on them of course and Kate can't remember the last time she laughed so hard. The glass of wine which Martha passed her before dinner had gone down a treat, as did the two after that and she's left feeling pleasantly buzzed, warmth radiating throughout her entire body. Castle's mother seemed to have taken celebrating life a little too much to heart and had polished off almost an entire bottle of wine by herself, before heading off to bed shortly after dessert and leaving Kate, happy to watch Castle's interactions with his daughter.

Alexis has been stifling yawns now for the better part of the last hour, and its only when she gets up to clear the table that Castle intervenes. He gently removes the pile of plates from her grasp, setting them down on the island in the kitchen. "We'll do that, you go on up to bed Pumpkin."

Alexis looks set to protest, but she yawns again and tears fill her eyes, the only giveaway that she's not quite as okay as she's been making out all evening. Castle holds out his arms and Kate – who is watching their exchange from the table – looks away. And for the second time in as many hours, she finds herself silently thanking whatever higher power allowed Castle to come home to his daughter. It hits her again, just how close he came to never having this moment, how close Alexis had come to being dealt the loss of a parent.

A tiny smile graces her lips as she watches Castle pull away from his daughter and drop a kiss on the crown of her head. He holds out his hands and pulls her along the laminate flooring. "Goodnight Kate," She's brought out of her musings by Alexis. "Thank you."

Kate feels the weight of the girl's words, a thank you and an apology all rolled into one, and it only serves to make her feel more guilty. "Night Alexis," She murmurs, nodding her head in acknowledgement when Castle indicates that he'll be back in a few minutes. Being left to her own thoughts isn't something that Kate feels at ease with after the day they've had, her mind reeling with how close a call it was. She feels an overwhelming sense of responsibility, and plagued by the what if of the situation, reaches for her wine, eager to regain some of the happy feelings. When she lifts it from the table, its with hands which have adopted a slight tremor and though she takes a long fortifying sip, it does nothing to ease the discomfort. So she gets up from the table and begins to clear away the dishes.

This is how Castle finds her, elbow-deep in a bowl of soapy water because she wouldn't have a clue how to work his dishwasher, and this way she's able to keep her hands and mind distracted for at least a few minutes. She knows he's there, even before he opens his mouth because she can feel his eyes on her again. "First watching me do paperwork, now staring at me doing the dishes-"

"You don't have to do that," Castle interrupts, moving properly into the room. "You're a guest-"

"I want to help," Kate cuts him off, a little abruptly and for a moment silence falls between them. She's glad her back is towards him as she tries to prevent a panic attack from taking hold completely. Her breathing is slightly shallow, and she absolutely cannot let him see her like this. Not when she's spent months going to great lengths to hide it from him. It's bad enough that she can see the guilt in his eyes every time he looks at her, despite her repeated attempts to absolve him of it, without forcing him to live with the knowledge of what she's still dealing with. "How's Alexis doing?"

There's a note of apology in her tone, and the mild irritation that Castle felt when she snapped ebbs away, at her obvious concern for his daughter. He sighs, leaning heavily against the island in the middle of the room, "I don't know," He answers eventually. "The past few months have been tough on her, what with the sh- summer..." He stumbles over the word and Kate is convinced that's not what he was going to say, but eager not to bring everything back to her shooting lets it slide.

"...And then being rejected from Stanford. She just seemed to be getting back to her old self again and now this -" Castle pauses again and she can tell by his nervous fidgeting that there's more he wants to say. So she waits patiently for him to continue, and when he does it's not what she's expecting to hear at all. "I don't know whether to suggest speaking to someone."

Kate's hands still in the water at his words, "Like a therapist?" She checks, trying to keep her tone controlled, even though it feels like all the breath has left her body.

She hears his murmured assent as he moves next to her and grabs a towel, "Well she barely talks to me these days and I don't want her to feel like she has no one to talk to." Castle shrugs.

"You could always suggest it to her," She starts, because Castle is looking at her expectantly, like she knows what to say. She does. But this is closer to home than she's comfortable acknowledging. But this isn't about you. The voice in her head is screaming. "Ultimately though, it has to be her decision Castle, because therapy only helps if you're committed to putting in the time. If you're willing to be honest with yourself."

Castle's brow shoots up in surprise and though he tries to school his expression, she doesn't miss the little looks he keeps giving her when he thinks she doesn't notice. For a few minutes neither of them speak, washing and drying dishes, putting them away and weaving around each other in a way which – to anyone who doesn't know better – would look like something they've gotten down to a well practised art. "How long?" Castle asks eventually, curiosity getting the better of him.

"Castle I – " She starts to change the subject, but something about the way he is looking at her – coupled with the voice in the back of her mind reminding her how close she came to never being able to tell him this at all – stops her. "Since September," She answers instead, "I had to pass my psych-eval before they'd let me back on active duty and then after that first case back I made a second appointment. I've been seeing a guy regularly ever since."

"Is it helping?" Castle remembers the first case back well, because he was constantly worried that she was overdoing it, that the smallest things would cause her to go off the deep end.

There's a long pause before Kate replies and she throws him a measured glance, "I'm getting there," She admits, in the hope he'll read as much into what she can't say, as the things she is saying. "I will get there." So please don't give up on me. The unspoken plea is there in her voice, and when he holds her gaze, she knows he's reading her correctly.

They go back to clearing up in silence, until something that has been on Castle's mind causes him to stop in his tracks, "Hey, I didn't know you were trained in hostage negotiations!" She finds she's grateful for the distraction.

"That's because I'm not," Kate gives him a look, as if to say you've known me how long. "I didn't have a clue what I was doing, but you were in there and I -" She hesitates, testing the waters slightly. "I couldn't lose you, Rick."

The way his Christian name trips off her tongue feels slightly foreign to her, but it doesn't scare her as much as it should. An unreadable expression crosses his face when she leans past him to put a plate away, putting their bodies in even closer proximity.

"Thank you for saving my life," Castle's voice directly next to her ear makes her glad that she doesn't have anything in her hands, because a delicious shiver runs down her spine and she's pretty certain she'd have embarrassed herself by now.

She turns to speak to him, but he's that little bit closer than she realized. Her back is pressed against the counter, his body is crowding her own. "I'm glad you're okay." She breathes, wondering if he can hear how loudly her heart is beating right now. "Castle I-" She stops.

"You?" He prompts her gently, reaching out and letting his fingers trail down her arm. When she doesn't threaten him with physical violence he takes a chance, interlocking his fingers with hers. He looks up, surprised to see the beginnings of a smile playing around the corners of her lips.

She seems to choose her words carefully before speaking, "I'm really glad you're okay. We've been doing this, whatever we are, for four years now and you know I don't find this easy but today I thought – I thought I was never going to see you again and-" She hesitates again, hearing the frustration leaking into her words and feeling a blush creep up across her neck. They've spent so long on the brink of being something more, and now she can't even get her words out.

"It's okay Kate, you don't have to–" Castle starts to interject and she knows that he's trying to give her an out, that wonderful sweet man. But this time she doesn't want it, and so she silences him with a disapproving glare, letting go of his hands.

"Would you just let me finish?" She tries to ignore the twinkle that has appeared in his eye; she may not have his way with words but does he have to look like he's bloody enjoying this so much? She revises her previous description of him, mentally adding insufferable to the list of adjectives running through her head.

Without giving herself a chance to second – or third – guess herself, she grabs his shirt collar in the same way she did earlier, and for the second time that day Kate Beckett kisses Richard Castle. This time though he's kissing her back and the little hum of satisfaction she makes vibrates against his mouth. Her lips part slightly, and after about a minute of exploration, she lightly touches one hand to his jaw. Castle pulls back, staring at her with an intensity in his expression that she's only seen there once before.

"It's hard for me, okay? Admitting that I need people. It scares me more than facing any suspect," She takes a deep breath and forces herself not to look away, to give him this moment. "But I do, Castle. I need you." They're not the words she wants to say, because she's not there yet. But they're something...

'Tell me you need me.'

...And they're enough for him for now.

I hope you enjoyed the opening installment. I'm really excited about where this is headed so I hope you're all hooked enough to come along for the ride ;)

Constructive criticism is always welcomed so feel free to tell me what you liked/ didn't like or whatever.