Title: "A Valentine Roll"
Author: Pirate Turner
Dedicated To: All of my stories are always dedicated to the man I love who inspires me more than any other element always, but some are more so dedicated to my King and Captain of my heart and soul than others. This is one of those, written especially for my wonderous beloved husband! I love you, my dearest Jack! Happy Valentine's Day, my darling love!
Rating: PG
Summary: Donkey's determined to get Puss' attention on Valentine's Day, but Puss has other matters on his mind for their friend's wife has been stolen.
Warnings: Slash, Het
Word Count: 1,377
Date Written: 13 February, 2012
Disclaimer: This version of Puss in Boots, Donkey, Dragon, Shrek, and Fiona are ﾩ & TM DreamWorks, not the author. Everything else is ﾩ & TM the author. The author makes absolutely no profit off of this work of fan fiction, and no copyright infringement is intended.

Puss walked bravely forward, his every sense on full alert. His paws were open at his sides, his claws unsheathed and his furry palms itching to clasp his sword. Their enemy could strike at any time, and he had to be ready. Their lives depended on his preparation and ability to take down their mighty foe.

Something clicked suddenly right beside Puss' pointed ear. The cat hissed and leaped into the air. His sword was drawn and at the ready when he landed, facing the source of the sound, but every strand of his orange fur was fluffed out on end. "Donkey!" he hissed fiercely, his emerald orbs flashing at his lover whose teeth had just clicked in his ear.

Donkey hee hawed with laughter. The rose he'd held in his big, white teeth dropped onto the ground. He laughed so hard that he fell over, rolled onto his back, and kicked his hooves up into the air.

Puss moved carefully forward. He lifted the rose from the ground and swept the dirt off of its soft, ruby red petals with gentle paws. "Donkey," he said, his accent thick and voice low, "this is not the time." He ignored the burning sensation of embarrassment crawling up his fur as his love laughed at him.

Donkey finally ceased laughing and rolling, though he remained on his back. His deep, brown eyes looked questioningly up into Puss' green orbs. "Then when is?" he asked, his saddened voice and expression panging Puss' valiant heart.

Puss steadied his feathered cap onto his furry head and swept his fingers across its black brim. He glanced up the road to where Shrek was still walking and determinedly ignoring Donkey, his green head down and broad shoulders slumped. "When we rescue the boss' lady."

"But it's Valentine's Day!" Donkey lamented, tears welling up into his big eyes.

"I know, mi amor," Puss sympathized, gazing deeply into his love's sweet eyes. He sashayed to him, moving with his usual confident pride and seductive grace without giving his saunter so much as a thought, and placed his paw on his leg. He stroked his thin, gray fur gently and purred quietly and reassuringly to him. "I know."

Donkey wriggled around in the dirt until his face was just below Puss'. He grinned broadly up at him. "Can't I at least have a kiss?"

Puss glanced up the pathway at Shrek. They could easily catch up to the Ogre, and one quick kiss shouldn't bring home to his friend any further that his own love was not here with them and all the loving that he was missing because of her absence.

Donkey wriggled some more. "Puss?" he persisted.

"Si," Puss replied absently. He didn't even want to think about how he'd be suffering now if it had been his beloved Donkey who'd been taken instead of Shrek's Fiona. Donkey impatiently clicked his teeth, and Puss finally looked back to him. Donkey was grinning up so widely at him that Puss couldn't help but to smile back.

"Si," he answered at last. "Si, of course." He took Donkey's long face into his furry hands, glad, for once, that his love was so annoying that hardly any one dared to kidnap him, and kissed him softly and sweetly. The kiss was only supposed to be a brief embrace, but Puss should have known that no kiss between them could be small.

Every time they touched, their worlds were rocked. Bells chimed, birds sang, and cannons exploded. The world spun, and their hearts soared, leaving the Earth far behind. Red hot pleasure screamed throughout every inch of their bodies, and their very souls sang in rejoice.

"WOO HOO!"

The lovers broke apart. Donkey jumped to his hooves and lowered his head. Puss leapt onto his back, his sword already drawn. His ears laid back against his furry head, and then he saw the dragon flying straight at Shrek. He could not yet make out any details of the particular beast, but then Puss' orange ears pointed forward as he heard Shrek laughing gaily and realized that it was Fiona who was screaming in glee.

Dragon burst through the forest and dropped Fiona straight down into Shrek's arms. Shrek laughed with delight and whirled his wife around in his arms. "Fiona!" he cried joyously. "Dragon! How did you - ?"

"How did we what?" Fiona interrupted her beloved husband. "How did we get away from that big, bad dragon without you guys rescuing us?" She laughed. "Come here, you big lug! It's Valentine's Day, and I need to remind you that we women do have power!" She kissed him then, with such power and heat that steam blew out of both her and Shrek's ears.

Dragon laughed. Flames shot out of her mouth and scorched a nearby sapling tree to immediate ash. Puss scampered quickly off of Donkey's back. Both Puss and Donkey tried not to show their disappointment as they broke apart.

Donkey grinned up at Dragon. His tail wagged. "That's my girl!" He scampered up to her as she laughed and kissed her scaly cheek. "So how did you do it?" he asked. "Did you wrestle him for her?"

Dragon growled softly and looked slyly away. "Come on," Donkey leaned eagerly closer, smiling widely. "You can tell me."

Just then, another roar pierced the air, and a massive shadow blocked out the sun. Puss and Donkey looked up; their eyebrows rose as they saw the same huge dragon who had kidnapped Fiona circling the sun and blowing the fluffy, white clouds into heart shapes. Dragon glanced up, beamed proudly, and looked slyly away again. Her thumping tail gave her away, however, and Donkey grinned even more widely at her.

"You've got you a new love interest!" he teased, his tail wagging. She gave a soft, embarrassed growl. Donkey nudged her. "It's okay, girl. You see, that's why I knew having an open relationship would be good for us. Go ahead, girl!" He nudged her again with his long and grinning face. "Go for it!"

She looked at him questioningly. "I'll be fine," he assured her. "I've got Puss, and I'll still be here if you get bored of your new play toy."

Dragon growled; Puss backed away and pulled his sword again, just in case. Donkey smiled, leaned forward, and kissed her full on her red lips. "I'm sure," he assured her again, beaming and wagging his tail. "Now go get him, hottie!"

Dragon smiled and let out a joyous roar. She raised into the air and zipped after the male dragon. As the two dragons circled each other in heart rings, Puss looked at Donkey in utter disbelief. "You told her?" he hissed, his green eyes flashing.

"Of course," Donkey replied calmly.

"Are you crazy? Do you want me to be barbecued?" Puss snarled.

"She wouldn't do that," Donkey spoke distractedly as he trotted over to the rose he had been going to give to his love earlier and which had fallen on the ground again. He picked up the rose in his teeth.

"Oh, really?" Puss demanded, putting one paw on his furry hip. "And just how," he questioned, his emerald eyes narrowed, "do you know that?"

Donkey clicked his teeth in Puss' ear again. Puss almost growled but then melted and put up his sword as Donkey thrust the rose at him and grinned. "Because I wouldn't let her," he muttered around the rose. Puss took the rose from him, his furry fingers brushing softly against Donkey's teeth and muzzle. Puss sniffed the rose's sweet aroma and then kissed its bud.

Donkey wriggled all over. "Happy Valentine's Day, Puss!" he gushed, beaming.

"Happy Valentine's Day, mi amor!" Puss exclaimed happily. He threw his arms around Donkey's gray neck, hugged him tightly, and kissed him passionately. If being barbecued was the price he had to pay for loving his dearest, wonderful, funny, - and, yes, even annoying - best friend, it was a small price indeed for Puss would gladly fight all the dragons in the world to win his Donkey's love. The dragons roared over their heads. Shrek and Fiona laughed gaily, and Puss kept kissing Donkey as the world spun around again and lovers rejoiced everywhere.

The End