Optimist/Pessimist
My fingers ache, and I just want to touch her. But I am aware that I can't, she is with Tori. But that doesn't mean i can't try. And I swear the mirror each others movements and features. The same damn stained smile, the same fucking permanent cheery attitude. I am tempted to just push Tori out of place without any care at all. The only thing that is acting as a damn wall to me now is that, that would hurt Cat if I did that. Hurting Tori, hurts Cat and I don't label it as fair but its how it is. Seeing them together acting like glued together puzzle pieces really angers me. I try to hold down a growl but its slips. I know that because everyone at the damn lunch table stops what their doing and draws their attention to me. I quickly yank my head away from that annoyingly bubbly couple.
I don't give any fucks to who is staring at me, I ignore them long enough that they finally give up and look away. But of course not Beck.
"What's wrong Jade?" He asks.
"Nothing just had something in my throat. Everyone can mind their own damn business now." I say it loud so everyone at the table can take the hint. Before Robbie can even think to open Rex's mouth I glare at him. He just gulps loud and quickly looks away again.
"Alright." Beck says, turning away from me.
I kind of smile because I am glad that Beck is a simple, logic person. He understands that not everything is stupid unicorns and rainbows like it is to Cat and Tori. I growl at myself again because I look back to Cat kissing Tori. It has me feeling like a volcano about to erupt. Beck seems to notice again so he rests his hand on my trembling thigh. I feel my fists tighten, and my cheeks begin to get hotter and hotter without me even trying to. Cat will always love me. I was her first kiss, I was her first girlfriend or you can say first lover ever. She lost her virginity to me. I was the first person she ever loved. Hell we even grew up together, you know childhood friends. Our families also grew up together, most people in their right mind would call that some serious fucking fate. That Romeo and Juliet shit you know that written in the stars bullcrap.
That fucking reminds me that we had our first kiss while staring at the stars. Now tell me that's not a damn coincidence. I remember everything that me and Cat shared, and I know she can't deny that she still loves me. You never forget your first love. And no matter of how many Tori's kisses and hugs is going to shift her heart. Her mind could always try to forget me but her heart wont even be able to try. Now I can list a shit load of things I remember with Cat which is everything. Or I can just tell you how fucking whipped I was. Whatever I don't care what you want to listen to. I just going to say it because I want to. And if you're not going to listen I don't give a fuck.
I am just going this clear out of everything else, I am going to get Cat back. If that means killing Tori so be it. Oh well shit I have to over think that because I still don't want to hurt Cat. And I probably never will, well there is one time. Ha when me and Cat were having sex, and oh don't act like you don't want to hear this. I know if I was you, I would, no shame included. Anyway you pervs, don't worry I am one also. That's why I am about to tell you this. Well if you are a normal person you would think that Cat was sensitive if you met her or if you already know her.
Well haha if you want to know the real Cat let me tell you, she's not. Well yeah with words she is but physically ha no, trust me about that. Most of the time during sex, she liked bites on her neck, scratches down her back. I would call her a masochist and that was a huge benefit for me because I label myself one too. So yeah pretty much you can picture it being rough, hot, wet sex. Man that girl can play so many cards right and yet manage to keep that same sexy pokerface.
Well I know Tori can never step in my place in Cat's heart. She can't even come near me, she has no chance of replacing me. I made damn sure of that.
I look around and see everyone leaving their tables, and I am the only one still sitting down, clueless. I look over to where Cat and Tori were and it's vacant. I quickly stand up and my head becomes dizzy with messy thoughts. It's like I fucking just time traveled. I walk back into the school and rush to the bathroom. Thank every fucking thing that its empty. I turn the knob to the sink to the coldest it can go. I make a bowl with my hands and fill it with the freezing water and I splash it on my face just once. I yank a towel away from the towel holder and quickly wipe my face dry. Then I toss it into the trash can .
I hear the bathroom door open so I look towards its way. I see her dark brown eyes before anything else.
"Jade" She whispers, stepping farther in.
"Cat" I whisper back, it seems like a love movie. Like we haven't seen each other in for over. But god damn it, it does feel that exact way.
She opens her mouth to help her figure what else she is going to say. But failing she closes it again.
"I want you back." I say, loudly this time. She just walks closer, until she is standing right beside me.
"Then take me." She smirks, grabbing the collar to my shirt and I smirk back.
"Right now?" I ask and she nods right after I say it.
"Are you sure you want it right now? Well hard on the floor or hard against the wall?" I ask, grabbing her waist, tightly and possessively.
"On the floor." She purrs.
"This time I am going to mark you everywhere. So it will always remind you that you're mine." I tell her roughly in her ear.
"Always babe." She whispers.
"Yeah damn right always." I whisper back, pushing her against the wall by her waist.