Spirited Away - the Alternate Beginning
----------------------------------------------
Preface
I have a very short attention span. Right now, I'm finishing the last chapter of my other fan fic, Sen to Chihiro no Tsuzuki. Unfortunately, I feel the chapter is going to be far too long and it's too specific to be broken up. I need a break, so I'll try a bit of comic relief with this. It will be two chapters long and is an alternate beginning to the film based on the premise that Miyazaki wasn't heartened by the lack of people taking his message to heart. Unfortunately, Miyazaki wasn't free to rewrite the beginning, so they hired a protege of Mel Brooks to rewrite and redirect the change.
-----------------
Chapter 1
Whilst Chihiro looked almost lifelessly across the bouquet she received as a going-away present, a adult male voice from the front seat breaks her mood. "Chihiro. Mou sugu da yo."
"Daddy, speak English--this story is in English."
"Sorry, Chihiro. We're almost..."
"I heard you the first time, Daddy--you don't have to repeat yourself. Sheesh!" Chihiro settled back into her well-rehearsed, "I'm resigned to this fate" pose.
"Hora... uhh... Look! There's your new school."
Without looking, Chihiro replied, "Two or three floors, right? Clock tower in the middle, right? Playground out front, right? Seen one, seen them all."
Her mother, also in the front seat, piped in, "Actually it's only one floor--but it looks OK."
Chihiro gasped. "Only ONE floor? What kind of town are you dragging us to, daddy?" She wiggled her way up to the car's window to look. She made a quaint hand gesture toward the school, then reassumed her position. She had learned a lot of quaint mannerisms on the family vacation to New York the previous year.
The family car made a right turn off Highway 21 and continued up a steep incline past the film title graphic and up toward the top of the hill. Mom spoke up and asked dad, "Dear?"
"Yes?"
"Was that graphic we just passed under in Japanese or English?"
"It was Japanese."
"Oh. That explains it, then."
"Explains what?"
"Why you and Chihiro look like you're blushing. In fact, the whole world seems to have a reddish tint."
Suddenly the paved road came to an end.
"Are? Michi wo machigaeta..."
"Daddy..."
"Sorry. Habit. I must have missed a turn somewhere."
Mom looked up the hill. "Isn't that our house? The purple one up there?"
"Our house is blue," dad replied.
"Well, not any more--not with this red tint."
"I'll bet we can get there if we drive just a little further."
Mom suggested, "There's a man by the road 100 meters behind us. Why don't we back up and ask directions?"
"Yeah. ...Right." Replied dad, indignantly. "Why don't you get out that map and find out where we are?" he continued sarcastically.
"Yeah. ...Right." Replied mom, smiling, understanding the sarcasm. "I guess we can afford to lose a little time getting lost."
"Chihiro, somewhat buoyed by the good-natured quarrel, got up and started looking around. She looked out the car window as it started down the road. She saw some strange boxes overgrown with moss by the road. "What are those strange house-like things?" Mom replied, "Ishi no hokora..."
Chihiro interrupted. "You too, mom? English, ENGLISH."
"Well, I don't know what to call them in English, Chihiro. You don't see many of them in the western world. Anyway, they're houses of the gods."
As the car continued down the shaded and unpaved road, Chihiro spotted a large gray figure with a big grin standing beside the road next to what appeared to be a bus stop sign. "I'm in the wrong story," she thought to herself, half-expecting to see a large feline bus pull up to the stop. Actually, she missed that sight by a full two minutes.
The car was bearing down rapidly on a large red 'Mon' (not even we narrators can come up with a good English word for that) and father managed to stop it just in time before hitting a stone bollard that blocked the road.
"What is it?" asked mom. "Bollards are placed in front of stores and malls to prevent drive-through smash-and-grab looting."
"No, dear, not that--what's that big red thing in front of us? At least it LOOKS red, but with this tint it could actually be white."
Chihiro knew this was going to be a difficult term to put into English and she was ready to pounce on father should he call it a 'mon.' Father sensed the upcoming pounce, gulped, and said, "It's a gate." Chihiro was deflated but not finished with her fun. "It doesn't look like a gate to me, daddy. Gates have hinges."
Father got out of the car to get a closer look. Chihiro continued, "Gates open inward or outward..." He pronounced, "This is a pretty new structure. It's stucco and almost newly painted. Chihiro, undaunted, kept up: "a gate will fall down if you take away the fence it's attached to."
Mom got out of the car and joined father. Chihiro, realizing nobody was paying attention to her pithiness, got out and joined mom and dad. Father, with a greater hidden agenda in mind, suggested, "Why don't we take a little peek inside?" Mom saw through the ruse. If they turned around right then, father would be forced to admit he took the wrong way and should have asked directions. If he goes in, he can marvel at something, everybody can feel that side trip wasn't wasted, and he can then go back to the car in victory instead of shame. She decided to play along. "Sure, we can go in, but the movers are supposed to be here today."
"They have the keys," dad replied, "and can upack themselves."
"That's true, I guess," she replied. "-You actually gave them the keys?" she thought to herself, but voiced, "I guess a short little look-see won't hurt. Chihiro?"
"No way. I don't go into things that are called what they are not--and that's not a gate," still trying to revive the argument. She stood next to the bollard. It looked like a smaller version of the character she saw on the way. Chihiro leaned toward the bollard and asked without expecting a reply, "and where's the little white one?" She saw her parents entering the, uh, mon. Mom said, "Chihiro, you can wait in the car. Just then an acorn fell from the bollard and Chihiro felt very uneasy. "Wait for me," she cried to her parents, as she ran to catch up with them...
----------------------------------------------
Preface
I have a very short attention span. Right now, I'm finishing the last chapter of my other fan fic, Sen to Chihiro no Tsuzuki. Unfortunately, I feel the chapter is going to be far too long and it's too specific to be broken up. I need a break, so I'll try a bit of comic relief with this. It will be two chapters long and is an alternate beginning to the film based on the premise that Miyazaki wasn't heartened by the lack of people taking his message to heart. Unfortunately, Miyazaki wasn't free to rewrite the beginning, so they hired a protege of Mel Brooks to rewrite and redirect the change.
-----------------
Chapter 1
Whilst Chihiro looked almost lifelessly across the bouquet she received as a going-away present, a adult male voice from the front seat breaks her mood. "Chihiro. Mou sugu da yo."
"Daddy, speak English--this story is in English."
"Sorry, Chihiro. We're almost..."
"I heard you the first time, Daddy--you don't have to repeat yourself. Sheesh!" Chihiro settled back into her well-rehearsed, "I'm resigned to this fate" pose.
"Hora... uhh... Look! There's your new school."
Without looking, Chihiro replied, "Two or three floors, right? Clock tower in the middle, right? Playground out front, right? Seen one, seen them all."
Her mother, also in the front seat, piped in, "Actually it's only one floor--but it looks OK."
Chihiro gasped. "Only ONE floor? What kind of town are you dragging us to, daddy?" She wiggled her way up to the car's window to look. She made a quaint hand gesture toward the school, then reassumed her position. She had learned a lot of quaint mannerisms on the family vacation to New York the previous year.
The family car made a right turn off Highway 21 and continued up a steep incline past the film title graphic and up toward the top of the hill. Mom spoke up and asked dad, "Dear?"
"Yes?"
"Was that graphic we just passed under in Japanese or English?"
"It was Japanese."
"Oh. That explains it, then."
"Explains what?"
"Why you and Chihiro look like you're blushing. In fact, the whole world seems to have a reddish tint."
Suddenly the paved road came to an end.
"Are? Michi wo machigaeta..."
"Daddy..."
"Sorry. Habit. I must have missed a turn somewhere."
Mom looked up the hill. "Isn't that our house? The purple one up there?"
"Our house is blue," dad replied.
"Well, not any more--not with this red tint."
"I'll bet we can get there if we drive just a little further."
Mom suggested, "There's a man by the road 100 meters behind us. Why don't we back up and ask directions?"
"Yeah. ...Right." Replied dad, indignantly. "Why don't you get out that map and find out where we are?" he continued sarcastically.
"Yeah. ...Right." Replied mom, smiling, understanding the sarcasm. "I guess we can afford to lose a little time getting lost."
"Chihiro, somewhat buoyed by the good-natured quarrel, got up and started looking around. She looked out the car window as it started down the road. She saw some strange boxes overgrown with moss by the road. "What are those strange house-like things?" Mom replied, "Ishi no hokora..."
Chihiro interrupted. "You too, mom? English, ENGLISH."
"Well, I don't know what to call them in English, Chihiro. You don't see many of them in the western world. Anyway, they're houses of the gods."
As the car continued down the shaded and unpaved road, Chihiro spotted a large gray figure with a big grin standing beside the road next to what appeared to be a bus stop sign. "I'm in the wrong story," she thought to herself, half-expecting to see a large feline bus pull up to the stop. Actually, she missed that sight by a full two minutes.
The car was bearing down rapidly on a large red 'Mon' (not even we narrators can come up with a good English word for that) and father managed to stop it just in time before hitting a stone bollard that blocked the road.
"What is it?" asked mom. "Bollards are placed in front of stores and malls to prevent drive-through smash-and-grab looting."
"No, dear, not that--what's that big red thing in front of us? At least it LOOKS red, but with this tint it could actually be white."
Chihiro knew this was going to be a difficult term to put into English and she was ready to pounce on father should he call it a 'mon.' Father sensed the upcoming pounce, gulped, and said, "It's a gate." Chihiro was deflated but not finished with her fun. "It doesn't look like a gate to me, daddy. Gates have hinges."
Father got out of the car to get a closer look. Chihiro continued, "Gates open inward or outward..." He pronounced, "This is a pretty new structure. It's stucco and almost newly painted. Chihiro, undaunted, kept up: "a gate will fall down if you take away the fence it's attached to."
Mom got out of the car and joined father. Chihiro, realizing nobody was paying attention to her pithiness, got out and joined mom and dad. Father, with a greater hidden agenda in mind, suggested, "Why don't we take a little peek inside?" Mom saw through the ruse. If they turned around right then, father would be forced to admit he took the wrong way and should have asked directions. If he goes in, he can marvel at something, everybody can feel that side trip wasn't wasted, and he can then go back to the car in victory instead of shame. She decided to play along. "Sure, we can go in, but the movers are supposed to be here today."
"They have the keys," dad replied, "and can upack themselves."
"That's true, I guess," she replied. "-You actually gave them the keys?" she thought to herself, but voiced, "I guess a short little look-see won't hurt. Chihiro?"
"No way. I don't go into things that are called what they are not--and that's not a gate," still trying to revive the argument. She stood next to the bollard. It looked like a smaller version of the character she saw on the way. Chihiro leaned toward the bollard and asked without expecting a reply, "and where's the little white one?" She saw her parents entering the, uh, mon. Mom said, "Chihiro, you can wait in the car. Just then an acorn fell from the bollard and Chihiro felt very uneasy. "Wait for me," she cried to her parents, as she ran to catch up with them...