Only You
© 2004 Black Tangled Heart
Disclaimer: I am neither Jeffrey nor Sofia. Song used: "Only You" by Portishead.
Word challenge: midnight, evasive, child, lined, softly, graceless; courtesy of Storm.
Dedication: Petal doll. 3
We suffer everyday,
What is it for,
These crimes of illusion
Are fooling us all,
And now I am weary,
And I feel like I do.
It's only you,
Who can tell me apart,
And it's only you,
Who can turn my wooden heart
No matter what she felt, my sister Lux had an evasive smile. Her bubbling, boiling anger showed in her eyes, but never on her lips. Her pain stained her face in the form of tears, but her mouth always managed to upturn. Somehow.
She tumbled through life, like an angel falling from a cloud. Twisting, slipping, screaming. Dancing in the fields while the sun set, flowers in her hair. On the front steps at five in the morning, waiting for the garbage man. Swinging her sandals casually on one toe, resting her chin on her palm. Her bikini tops in summer. Popsicles on her tongue, bright cherry lipstick, sun kissed hair. Freckles smattered; innocence shattered. She was the child among us. The aggressive, petulant child.
The only time she ever really smiled was with Trip. She smiled so hard that I was afraid of her face cracking. The child in her was its brightest then. Brighter than the stars; brighter than heaven. And sometimes I could still see the secrets in her smile, until she saw Trip. Then everything melted away and she was reckless. Uninhibited.
Homecoming.
My sister Lux faced everything in a blur. Dizzy in her white dress and glitter. Dizzy with happiness. Dizzy from his kisses. Her eyes lined with kohl, her throat sweet with perfume. Her shoulders kissed and left cold, her shoes discarded, cigarette stubbed out.
My sister Lux twisted and slipped and screamed.
"Tell Trip I'm over him, he's a creep." She said the words out loud as she wrote them, hissing them out through clenched teeth. From that night on the football field, she changed. The light in her smile dimmed. For a long time, she never smiled at all. She fell through life, graceless. And this time Hell waited for her with a yawning mouth and fire-lit jaws.
She loved him regardless, reliving the happiness when the rough roof tiles chafed her skin. The boys were willing, eager, anonymous. Featureless fault- filled fornicators. She didn't care. She shut her eyes, bucked her hips, dug her ragged nails into unfamiliar skin. But in her mind she knew it well. It was velvet and tan and so soft.
My sister Lux was the child among us.
I was the baby. She was the child.
She led the boys up to the roof before the sex began, but never showed them out. Sat on the roof and stared at the slate moon. Smoked. Sometimes she talked softly to me, wanted peace. Wanted Trip. And then she'd smile fully, sweetly, truly. Exhale the gray plumes, and truly smile.
In the midnight, she was brightest. An angel falling from a cloud.