NEVER BEEN KISSED Ch. 1.
Author: Catherine E. Grant
Author's note:
For the purposes of this story, Minerva is five years older than Remus. Yes, I know that doesn't fit in with the novels, but this is MY story and they can be as old (or as young) as I want them to be!Timeline:
Takes place in Harry & company's sixth year. Lupin has been invited back on the proviso that he drink the Wolfsbane potion because they can't find another good DADA professor and because Dumbledore wants him there to look out for Harry.Disclaimer:
The characters aren't mine unless I expressly state that they are.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"So, Professor Lupin," Lavender asked slyly, "What was your first kiss like? Where were you, who was it with and why do you remember it?"
He grinned. "I don't think I should answer that."
"Oh, come on Professor," Hermione begged. "Everyone else has."
"Nearly," Ginny muttered darkly.
Harry blushed.
"Very well." Lupin sighed. "It was two o'clock in the morning, with my transfigurations teacher. The kiss was fantastic."
Everyone stared in astonishment. Hermione found her voice first. "And, ah, what happened because of it?"
"We fell out of the tree."
"You were up a tree?/With your transfigurations teacher?" Fred and George were beside themselves. Of course, to anyone who didn't know the two and know they were identical twins, that could be taken literally.
Remus nodded slowly, thinking. Ron was laughing and Ginny was giving Harry supposedly covert, interested looks. He leaned away from her. "How do you kiss up a tree?"
"Very, very carefully, I'm sure" came the dry reply, but it wasn't Lupin who had spoken. All eyes turned to the doorway, where Professor McGonagall stood, hugging a large book. She stepped into the room and put it down on a table.
"I just came by to drop this off, Miss Granger, in case you wanted to get an early start on your reading. It seems, however, that you've found some more interesting entertainment."
Hermione stared at her, mouth open in a fair impression of a fish. McGonagall rolled her eyes. "Really, Miss Granger, you ought to know better than to believe such silly nonsense. Remus, you ought to know better than to spread such rumours." She took her glasses off and rubbed her eyes.
Lupin shrugged and couldn't stop the grin that spread across his face.
"Well, you can't blame me for trying, Min."
"Can't I?" Her voice was cold. "And don't call me Min, you know that I detest it."
McGonagall went to put her glasses back on but he took them out of her hand. "Leave them, Minerva. You look beautiful without them."
"Flatterer."
"It's true."
"Yeah, right."
"You are beautiful. What do I have to do to make you believe me?" He took her hand and raised it to his lips. "Minerva McGonagall, I am completely and totally enamoured of you. Whenever I shut my eyes I think of you. When I'm talking to someone I strain to hear your voice in the background. I'm always thinking of you."
McGonagall burst out laughing and Remus looked rather sheepish. She claimed her hand back. "Just for that, I'll send you a lovely little silver token of my affection next full moon. You should know better than to encourage this student nonsense with fabrications of your own. The day I kiss you, Remus Lupin, will be the day I get run over by the Hogwarts express, thrown off Gryffindor tower, eaten by the giant squid and proposed to by Snape. As I said, not likely to happen any time soon. Good day. Fifth years remember that your assignment is due tomorrow. Mr Longbottom, if you're looking for your toad it's under the couch, about to be eaten by Miss Granger's cat."
Both Neville and Hermione dropped to the floor to recover their pets. By the time they got back on their feet, Professor McGonagall had swept out and Professor Lupin was flipping through the book she had left.
"No wonder it's in the restricted section," he muttered. "You shouldn't really be reading this, Hermione. That said, you'll probably find it very interesting. Lavender, I apologise for the little story I made up. Actually, my first kiss was with my sister's best friend, in the summer holidays of my third year. Her brother dared us. She kissed me and then ran off to wash out her mouth. Not overly romantic, but then, it was my third year, you remember. Now, you all ought to get some sleep. Goodnight."
Lupin raised a hand to the students and left the room.
There was silence for a moment or too. Finally Lavender spoke. "I feel so gullible," she sighed. Hermione nodded. She didn't usually agree with the other girls of her year but for once she did.
"I think we all feel stupid," Seamus said.
"Up a tree? There's no way we believed that," George scoffed.
Fred laughed. "Nup, no way. Didn't have us going for a moment."
"Yeah, right." Ginny rolled her eyes. "Harry, why don't you tell us about your first kiss?"
Harry muttered something under his breath. Ginny leaned closer. "What was that? I didn't quite hear."
"IsaidIveneverbeenkissed" he spluttered hurriedly. "Sorry?" asked Ginny innocently.
"I. Said. I've. Neverbeenkissed." Harry mumbled, only slightly more intelligently. The girl leaned away, and nodded. "That's okay, Harry, we can learn together!" she said brightly. "Why don't we practice?"
The twins howled with laughter as Harry looked desperately towards the door. As if by accident, Hermione and Ron were sitting on the floor right in front of it, setting up a chessboard.
"Now, Harry, come closer, yep, that's right, NO! Closer to me, not Neville! Neville, will you stop laughing and help me catch him? HARRY! Come back here!"
The voices filtered through the wall as Remus Lupin leaned heavily against the other side of the doorframe. The fat lady looked at him in concern.
"Are you sure you're all right, dear?" she asked. "You don't look too well."
Remus shook his head. "No, thanks, I'm fine." He listened to the racket inside the common room and decided Ginny must have made a capture as it suddenly dimmed. In the loud cheering that followed the thirty seconds or so of silence he was sure he heard the twins, Ron, Hermione, Neville, Seamus, Lavender and just about everyone else in the room except the focus of the attention: Harry and Ginny.
He grinned to himself, but the smile faded into nothing.
He'd made the story up, that was obvious enough, but he couldn't very well go out and admit that his little 'declaration of love' had been an honest one. Minerva would laugh at him. The events of tonight would spread quickly through the school and add to his 'joking' reputation. He doubted any of the students would think very deeply about anything he'd said, once it was apparent he'd been lying through his teeth about the kiss. Ginny, maybe, and Hermione, they were sharper than they looked, but that would be about all.
What an idiot. Remus rested his hand against his forehead where a headache was beginning to form.
"What a dolt," he muttered.
The fat lady blinked in concern. "Are you sure you're alright, dearie?" she repeated, hovering worriedly at his shoulder. He nodded. "You ought to go see Madame Pomfrey, she'll have something if you've got a headache."
"I'll do that," Remus told her, not really paying much attention. She'd always tried to mother him ever since he'd been a student staggering in tired and wan after a particularly bad transformation.
"She'll never take me seriously now," he muttered, and the portrait didn't reply. "Anything I say she'll just take as a joke. She's older than me anyway so I doubt she'd ever even consider me in that light, but I had to try, didn't I? Had to go and make a stupid effort and put my big fat foot in it."
He pushed away from the wall and strode quickly down the corridor. He couldn't stay here, not where one of the students could find him and start making inferences.
There were some nights when the Shrieking Shack still looked pretty good.
The Fat Lady was thoughtful as she watched him go. She wanted to follow, but was too respectful of his privacy and mindful of her duty to seriously consider it. His footfalls faded in the distance and a large painted tear rolled down her cheek.