So… I haven't actually seen any episodes with Holden yet. *looks away sheepishly* But… I just… I just had to get this out. I might've made Holden COMPLETELY OOC from what they say on the show, but I promise if I ever write anything else with Holden AFTER I see the episodes, I'll write him to how they portray him.
That glaring fact aside, I hope you enjoy this.
Holden Strauss knows he's never been good enough for Aria Montgomery. He knows he never has been and never will be. He doesn't even know why he's still trying. It's obvious that she's shown zero interest in him the whole time they've known each other. Why won't his brain just give up and move on?
Maybe it's the way that she smiles when he says some lame thing that he thinks is funny or how she's always been genuinely nice to him - even if it was just because their dads are best friends. He can't help but hope she's nice to him because she actually likes him for him. But he knows that's too much to ask, when she's so great and he's so… ordinary.
XX
When she agrees to go on a date with him (to a Arthur Miller play), he's way happier than he should be. He doesn't know if it's a pity date or if she's actually starting to like him or whatever. He can't bring himself to care. All he cares about is that he's going on a date with one of the coolest girls in Rosewood.
On the way there, they actually have a surprisingly easy time keeping the conversation going. It makes him think there's hope, if them being together is so easy. Holden thinks that maybe he stands a chance because of the way Aria laughs at his jokes or smiles at him and then glances down. He thinks he actually stands a fighting chance for once in his life. He thinks he might actually get the girl.
Those feelings, however, are all shot to hell when they get to the theater the play is being showed at. There's an older guy there and Holden sees the way they look at each other and recognizes it immediately. It's the way he looks at Aria sometimes, at least when she's not paying attention. He feels his heart drop a little bit in his chest, but takes it well. He wants Aria to be happy, and if that guy makes her happy, so be it.
XX
He doesn't know what makes him say he's okay with being a cover-up for Aria and that guy (who's name he still hasn't learned). He just wants to see Aria's face light up in a smile and know that he was the one that caused it. He knows that's incredibly cheesy and lame and uncool, but he figures that's what love's supposed to do to you. And if he's not in love with Aria Montgomery, she's definitely the closest he's ever got, even with dating a few girls in Portugal.
Aria's whole face collapses into a look of shock, relief, and gratitude. Holden doesn't think she's ever looked as pretty as she does right then. He wants to grab her and kiss her or at least just hug her. But he can't. He'll probably never be able to. She doesn't belong to him. She never has and never will.
XX
There's an ample amount of dates that he and Aria "go" to. Mainly, he just picks her up and takes her to where she meets the real guy she wants to be with. And it sucks, he's not going to lie. But this is what he chose. He can't say he didn't know what he was getting into, he did. And he has to admit, the drives are fun, conversation still flows well between the two of them. Holden even thinks Aria considers them friends. It almost makes all of this worth it.
He just wishes that it was easier to deal with, seeing the girl he's in love with ride off into the sunset with her Prince Charming. He wishes he could be her Knight in Shining Armor just once. Instead, he stands there as the happy couple goes off together into "sunset" or whatever as he looks on like a poor peasant, captivated by her but never noticed.
Fin.
I don't know where this came from. Why does it seem like I always ship Aria with the person she's NOT gonna end up with? Why can't I just give in and ship Ezria? I mean, I don't even know how long Holden's gonna last on the show (although, I guess that was the same with Alex and Spencer, but oh well).
I understand that not a lot of people are going to read this, since a majority of the fandom ships Ezria, but please just give this a chance. I'm sorry if this sucks. Like I said, I haven't seen any episodes with Holden yet, and I haven't written for Aria or Ezra for awhile now. So… yeah. Please review.
Disclaimer: I don't own Pretty Little Liars. But a person can dream, right?