Valentines, a hetalia - axis powers fanfic

You're gonna have the best valentine's day ever,

AND YOU'RE GOING TO LIKE IT!

Characters:

(Britannia) Angel

The British Empire/ Britannia

And other people who are not as important… joking…

Ship tease-

Spain/Romano

France/England

America/England

Sorta… Lithuania/Belarus

Germany/Italy

Greece/Japan

Rated for Britannia's cursing… so much cursing…

Tba- ugh… Single awareness day. Sad isn't it?

England-… aren't you and Prussia…?

Tba- No… wait… *calls Prussia* hey Prussia….. We're dating now. ….So get me some chocolate.

~Berlin~

Prussia- ugh. Valentines…. *cell phone rings* what is it crazy lady?

(we're dating now) ….what?

(so get me some chocolates) t-that's why? I'm not giving you chocolate! How the hell am I going to send it anyway?

~New York~

Tba- just get me some chocolate. Make it fast.

England-… I wouldn't call this a relationship…

.~Somewhere~

""You know Britannia; you should be nicer to the unicorns…" An angel said watching his...companion (?) chase off the unicorns with his sword. He was sitting down on a large rock, in a field.

The pirate put his sword back in its scabbard, "Stupid horses! Trying to eat my hat."

He reached up to fix his slightly crooked hat.

"Don't you feel hot wearing that?"

The pirate crossed his arms, "No."

While you could say Britannia was over-dressed, you could also say he himself was under-dressed.

Britannia wore a long red coat, black trousers, boots, his fluffy hat with a bright crimson feather, a white shirt, a cravat, and white gloves.

The angel pulled at his toga, "hey Britannia…"

"That's The British Empire to you!"

"I'm bored…"

Britannia thought for a moment, "It can't be helped. He's not going to let us out any time soon." He gritted his teeth, "The fucking bastard."

"Britannia!"

"What? It's true!" Britannia pointed to him, "And you know it!"

"Well, if we ask really nicely, maybe…"

Britannia sneered, "Ask nicely? Why don't you just ask me to jump off a cliff and swim with the sharks?"

Angel winced, "Do you really hate him that much?"

Britannia glared at him, "what do you think love freak?"

"Britannia!"

"What?"

Ahem, am I interrupting something? A voice said from the sky above.

"Ah! We were just talking about you." Angel said sliding off the rock and smiling.

Britannia frowned, "I'll have you know, I had nothing good to say."

Ever the honest one aren't you Britannia?

"Get down here so I can kill you!" Britannia yelled trying to pull out his sword while Angel grabbed his arm.

"No! No fighting!"

"Let go! I have a score to settle!"

I have a proposition for you two

"My answer is NO, NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS and GO KILL YOURSELF"

Angel winced at each word that was punctuated.

"Britannia… we should at least hear him out…"

Britannia threw his hands up in the air, "MUTINY!"

If you do well, I'll let you out for a day

"My answer is still no!"

Two days..?

"What do you think I am? I'm The British Empire! I NEVER YIELD!"

A week, it's my final offer.

"Do it yourself!"

"Britannia!" Angel yelled. "It's our chance to go out! Why won't you go?"

"I'm not working for him! And there's nothing you can do to make me go!"

What if I said it involved France?

"….the damn frog should go screw himself… oh wait, he would do that."

And Spain..?

"Spain should jump off a cliff."

…Prussia?

"…. Prussia's okay I guess…."

….America? You could see little America again… You haven't seen him in a while…

"….."

"I can't fucking believe I'm doing this!" Britannia yelled holding a bow and arrow.

Angel smiled, "We're spreading love, isn't that great?"

"No its not! Just cause Cupid has a cold or something doesn't mean he can (make us) do this! Especially to me!"

"At least he didn't make you change your clothes or anything."

'Angel attire' was not 'pirate attire'.

"If he did I would kill him!"

Angel sighed and took out the list that he gave them.

"This list is blank…"

Britannia growled and took the list.

"No you moron! The list is one that names appear when they're near the target or something." Britannia threw the paper back at Angel and looked at the bow and arrow.

"How the fuck am I supposed to use this?"

Angel frowned, "Well, you put the arrow on a notch, pull back the string and-"

"Why do I have to use something as stupid as a fucking bow and arrow?" Britannia threw the bow and arrows on the ground.

"Well, Cupid always uses his bow and arrows." Angel smiled, "He's the best in the universe!"

"No one uses bow and arrows anymore. Why didn't he just give me bullets? I wouldn't mind shooting people."

"Britannia… we're not supposed to kill anyone… just make them fall in love…"

"Then love bullets or whatever they're called." Britannia shrugged.

"Britannia, we should probably go and do our job."

"Why?"

"…if we finish early… you can see America earlier…"

"…"

~Human world… or something~

"AHHHHHHHHHHH!" Britannia yelled as he fell out of the sky and towards the ground.

"Britannia?" Angel flapped his wings.

CRASH

"FUCK!"

CRASH

"Damn it!"

.
CRASH

"Why are there so many branches?"

.
CRASH

"Damn it!"

.
CRASH

THUD

"….Ugh…."

Angel flew down to him, "Are you okay?"

"I JUST FELL TWENTY THOUSAND FEET AND YOU ASK IF I'M OKAY?" Britannia yelled sitting up. His fall broken (slightly) by a bush.

But after hitting a few branches (of a tree) on his way down, who could blame him for being angry?

"…. People have survived higher falls…"

"YOU COULD HAVE HELPED!"

"I'm sorry! I forgot you didn't have wings!"

"You forgot- YOU FORGOT? DO I LOOK LIKE A FUCKING ANGEL TO YOU?"

"Look on the bright side…"

"WHAT BRIGHT SIDE?"

"Your hat's okay…"

Britannia's hands immediately reached up to feel his hat…. It wasn't there.

"WHERE THE FUCK DID MY HAT GO?"

After Angel (somehow) managed to calm Britannia down, and Britannia got his hat back, they sat down on a bench to think things over.

Britannia muttered a few choice words to himself as he picked leaves and splinters out of his coat. "Damn him. If it wasn't for him I wouldn't have gotten hurt. America better be fucking happy or else I'm going straight back and killing the guy… and then get drunk."

Angel sighed, "Yes Britannia…."

He looked around, seeing people walk past them on the street.

"I wonder who is first?"

Britannia looked around, "the world has changed huh?"

He sighed, "Guess that means every one has moved on too."

"Britannia…"

An extremely annoying voice broke the silence.

"Romano~"

Britannia's eye twitched, "Spain!"

Angel quickly made sure the bows and arrows were far away from him. "No!"

"Why the fuck not?"

"You can't hurt him!"

Britannia tried to grab the bow and arrows, but Angel kept them away.
" We're spreading love!"

"I'm just showing him how much I love him by-"

Romano pushed Spain's arm off his shoulder, "Don't do something stupid like that Spain."

Britannia and Angel peered out of the bush, seeing Romano and Spain walk together.

"Hmph, looks like the brat grew up."

"It's not nice to call people brats!"

"What ever you say love freak." Britannia ignored him and frowned, "makes me wonder how much time has passed."

"Britannia…"

Britannia held up the bow and notched an arrow. "Now let's see how well he can dodge this."

"Wait Britannia don't!" Angel tackled Britannia, making Britannia let loose the arrow, but the aim was off….

Whoosh

Stab

Romano looked down and could have sworn he saw an arrow connected to his arm.

"What the hell?"

Spain looked at Romano, "Hm? What wrong Romano?"

"Who said anything was wrong you stupid-" Romano paused and his face turned red.

"Why are you so worried? Its not like it matters.."

Spain smiled, "Romano you mean a lot to me!"

Britannia struggled as he lay on the ground, Angel sitting on him.

"Get off damn it! Spain needs to die!"

Angel smiled and clasped his hands together, "they're so cute."

"Damn it! LET ME GO!"

Angel took the bow and arrows, "but Spain doesn't seem like he understands right now. hm.. maybe I should hit him with this?" Angel smiled, "For love!"

"After what he's done, he doesn't deserve to be happy!"

Angel hit Britannia with the bow, "that's not nice Britannia. Forgive remember? Forgiving is good."

He took Britannia's hat and put it on his head.

"Give me back my hat!"

"Not until you learn to be nice."

Whoosh

Stab

Spain blinked, "Hey Romano, did you just feel something just now?"

"No, what did you feel?"

"Huh… well I felt like…." Spain smiled, "I feel like I just realized something really important!"

"And what's that?"

Spain picked Romano up in his arms and swung him around, "I love you!"

Romano blushed and hit Spain's back, "L-let me down damn it! P-people are staring!"

Spain laughed before putting Romano down, "Why don't we have a date?"

Romano looked away, "well, its not like I had anything better to do… I guess…"

He blushed "N-none of that mushy flowers and heart shaped fireworks or anything got it?"

Spain smiled, "Yep! Let's go Romano!' he took Romano's hand and proceeded to drag him away.

Angel smiled, "how beautiful!"

Seeing his chance, Britannia knocked Angel off and grabbed his hat.

"Great, now my plan is ruined. I suppose I could still make France's day horrible."

Angel dusted the dirt off his toga. "Britannia! Why do you want to make their day miserable?"

"….."

Britannia thought about it for a second, "cause I don't like them."

"That's not a good reason!"

"Shut up, I just don't like them okay?"

They heard footsteps and Angel dragged Britannia into the bush to prevent anyone from seeing them.

Japan walked into the park with Greece. Japan had a small backpack on.

"You said… you saw a stray cat here?" Greece said, looking a bit tired.

Japan nodded, "yes, I think it was a few months old. I can't keep it in my hotel room... and I get busy…" He sighed, "I was afraid no one would take care of it after this…"

Greece nodded, "after the meeting, we have to go home…"

Japan nodded, "Yes, and I don't think America-kun would be able to keep it. He has a busy schedule sometimes; I don't think he can take care of a kitten.

Britannia leaned forward, "he said America just now didn't he?"

"Britannia! You'll blow our cover!" Angel said shoving Britannia's head down.

"Damn it! Let go! I need to know where America is!"

Japan and Greece looked around, "Greece-san, did you hear something?"

Angel covered Britannia's mouth with his hand, "Meow?"

"Oh, it's just a cat."

"Cat…"

'They fell for that?'

"Let's look for it…"

"Yes, it might be the cat we're looking for."

Both Japan and Greece started heading towards their hiding place.

And Angel started panicking.

"What do we do? If they find us-" Angel shook his head, "I don't even know how they'll react!"

Britannia rolled his eyes, "in this sort of situation. You distract them."

"But how?"

Britannia grabbed the bow, and two arrows, "watch and learn."

Whoosh

Stab

"Ow!" The arrow his Japan in the back (he was facing away from them).

Greece went over, "is there something wrong Japan?"

"Yes, I think I hurt my back."

"We should sit down then."

Whoosh

Stab

The arrow hit Greece in his left shoulder, he didn't notice at all.

"Greece-san… maybe my bad back is trying to tell me something."

"ah… maybe…"

"We should just enjoy today together, and relax."

"Yeah, look for the cat later…"

"Yes… I prepared some lunch should we get hungry..." Japan pulled out a bento box from his bag.

"It looks like I forgot to bring the other… I'm sorry Greece-san."

"It's okay. We'll just share."

Angel smiled, "a picnic! How romantic!"

Britannia grumbled to himself, "another couple you squeal over. And no thanks for me."

Angel laughed, "thank you Britannia."

Britannia frowned, "we should probably move."

"Yeah! We might disturb them."

"No you moron! They might see us!"

Angel laughed, "I don't think that's a problem."

They moved over to where the playground was, and sat on the bench there.

A few children passed, but were shushed by their mothers when they tried to comment on their strange clothing.

"Ve~ Germany, let's go have pizza."

"Ah… not now Italy, it's not lunch time yet."

"Ve…."

They turned to see Italy and Germany walking by the park.

"Hm…? Isn't that?"

"Ah! Isn't that Rome's grandson?"

Britannia grabbed the bow and an arrow, "Aim for the head…."

Angel grabbed the other bow and notched an arrow, "I guess I'll aim for Italy then…"

Whoosh

Stab

Britannia's arrow hit Germany's back, just below his neck.

While Angel's hit Italy's swinging arm.

"Damn it... I missed."

Angel sighed, "Britannia, you have bad aim…"

"Shut up! Give me some bullets and I'll show you how good my aim is!"

"Ve~ Germany, I see a flower shop, want to go there?"

"Ah, I suppose so."

"N-no change?"

"Those arrows must have been duds."

Angel huffed, "don't be ridiculous! They all work perfectly fine!"

"Yeah, well, they didn't work."

"Maybe, they're already in love? Or maybe… they're honest with each other so the arrows don't work? I mean… that would mean Spain and Romano had some sort of thing preventing them from… "

"Ugh… stop talking, your voice is annoying." Britannia got up and started walking away.

"Ah! Wait! Britannia!"

Angel sat down on the swings, "it's a really nice day today."

"Enough of you stupid small talk." Britannia took off his gloves and put them in his pocket. "Let's hurry up and finish this."

"Well, there isn't-"

"Oh hush! I think I see someone."

Lithuania smiled, for the first time, he was walking along side Belarus, on valentines day.

However, he dare not hold her hand. She broke his fingers last time.

Belarus looked around for her brother, completely ignoring her…date… if you can even call him that.

"Hey, she's ignoring him even though they're on a date!"

Britannia put his foot up to rub off a spot on his boots. "Who cares?"

Angel frowned and took another arrow, "Valentine's day is all about love! She should like him at least a little bit! Ignoring him is just wrong!"

Whoosh

Belarus turned around, hearing the sound of an arrow, movement caught her eye and…

She grabbed it, but it still managed to lodge itself in her shoulder.

She tried to rip it out, but found that it disappeared.

"…what?"

Angel hid behind Britannia, "she's scary… how did she catch that?"

"Not like it's impossible." Britannia muttered, shoving Angel away.

"Yeah, but what are the chances of her catching it?"

"Shouldn't you be more worried about if it bloody worked or not?" Britannia snapped.

Belarus turned to Lithuania and slowly… she smiled. "Lithuania…"

Then as quickly as it appeared it disappeared. "Let's find brother."

She turned and walked away, leaving Lithuania to catch up to her.

"Um…"

"Another dud huh?"

"Love arrows work! They wouldn't fail!"

Britannia rolled his eyes, "I'm sure."

Britannia grumbled to himself. "didn't learn a single thing, damn love, stupid valentines day."

Angel however, was practically skipping with happiness. "I wonder who's next?"

"I'd enjoy filling France with arrows."

"Britannia!" Angel yelled from behind him.

"Oh what? It's not like he's going to pop up-" Angel grabbed Britannia and pulled him into the bushes.

"Damn it love freak! My clothes are getting dirty because of you!"

"Shhh! Isn't that England?" angel said looking through the bush.

Britannia crawled over and peered out of the bush.

England was walking with America, yelling at him for some reason or another…

"Why are you angry?"

"I'M NOT ANGRY!"

"Oh, it's America."

Britannia looked around, "where?"

Angel; laughed nervously, 'it has been a while since he saw him right? Guess he doesn't know he grew up.'

"Um… that guy with England… is America."

Britannia stared intently and watched them.

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"…he's grown."

"Yes, he's much taller an-"

"He's kinda cute…" He mumbled, blushing.

"Huh?" Angel nearly fell over in shock.

"How are you not angry? You're yelling."

"I never said I was angry."

"I'm pretty sure I heard you say 'America you fucking moron' and then you ran off."

England huffed, "Well it's your fault."

"What did I do wrong?"

"America, do you know what day it is?"

"Uh… the 14th?"

"And the month is?"

"January… February… February?"

"Yes and what is on February 14?"

"Valentines day?"

"Exactly."

"…I don't get it… what did I do wrong?"

Britannia nodded, "I don't get it either."

"Uh… maybe America forgot to get England chocolates?"

Britannia blushed, "W-why would I want chocolates?"

"… Ah… wait... no.. I said… never mind…" Angel sighed; there was no point in arguing.

Britannia always had a soft spot for America…

Britannia ignored him and continued watching them.

"Still, he's grown… that or England's gotten shorter."

'Wouldn't that mean you're also shorter?'

Britannia frowned, "well, I came to see America, but it wouldn't be a good idea to see him now."

'Ah… right… America would think he's a ghost or something…'

Britannia sighed, "I still have no idea what they're arguing about… I'm pretty sure it's all England's fault though."

Angel laughed nervously, "you mean, you think it's all your-er… England's fault?"

Britannia paused, "well it's obviously his fault. If I was in charge, this wouldn't be happening."

'If you were in charge…' Angel shivered. 'I'm glad he's not in charge…'

"Seriously, what did I do?"

"You know what you did!"

"No I don't!" America paused, "can you give me a hint?"

"Alright the first one is, WWII. The second is valentines day."

America stopped to think about it, "um…. Ah… oh!"

"Do you get it now?"

"Um… pulling out of the battlefield or something?"

"Yes, and do you remember why?"

"Uh… I was hungry."

England threw his hands in the air, "that's it! Enough of this, I'm going home!"

"Huh? Why?"

"Truthfully America, you're an idiot who can never remember anything important even if it was right in front of your face! Honestly I know you're dense but to think it took years and you still don't get it!"

"What are they fighting about?" Angel asked.

"I don't know. All I heard was nag nag nag." He said with a shrug.

Angel sighed, "Britannia…."

"He's mad about valentines day... or something."

"Like I said, maybe England wanted America to get him chocolates or maybe take him on a date… or something…"

Britannia rolled his eyes, "Our relationship isn't like that."

"I don't know Britannia. A lot can happen in over a hundred years…"

Britannia blushed, "I- I don't like him in that way."

Angel sighed, "I understand… anyway… we should look at the list right?"

"I suppose…"

Angel took out the list, and saw both America's name and England's name on it. He promptly crushed it.

"What now?"

"Um… it's nothing." 'Who knows what Britannia would do if he saw this…'

"Ah, Amerique, Angleterre. Out on a date I see?"

Even as France said it, they all noted that France himself did not have a date.

Angel was the only one who noted that neither America nor England denied that they were on a date.

"Ah, it's France."

"France. Good timing! I was getting really angry!" England said cracking his knuckles and smiling.

"Ah, it's France." Angel said pointing at France.

Britannia grinned and grabbed the bow and arrow. "Perfect… I was getting really angry… "

Whoosh

Stab

France blinked and looked at England, "England... I must say… you're looking rather delicious today."

England stopped, and he took two steps back, "what?"

America laughed, "Okay France, that was weird. Seriously, isn't this the part where you guys normally try to kill each other?"

Britannia growled, "Stupid arrows! Peirce damn it! Peirce!"

Angel sighed, 'should I even try?'

France walked up to England and took England's hand. Planting a kiss on the back of it.

"England…"

England shivered, "France, I have no idea what you're up to, but I'm not interested in playing any games."

France looked up and winked, "Oh? But I many idea of games we could play…" his eyes drifted over to America, "just for the two of us though…"

England snatched his hand back, "alright, you're creeping me out."

"Yeah France, I mean, I know you'd go for anything that moves. But I thought you didn't like England."

France chuckled, "poor native America, you have no idea exactly how much I love England."

Britannia shivered, "oh god make it stop." He notched another arrow.

"w-wait! The arrows don't work like that-"

America stepped up, "Well I-"

Whoosh

Stab

Britannia cursed, "America you idiot!"

America looked back at England, "hey did you say somethi…" America stopped abruptly.

England gave him a questioning stare, "w-what?"

"uh… Hey England…" he scratched his head sheepishly, a light blush on his cheeks.

"What?"

"Um… the thing you were mad about… it was about the chocolate right?"

England flushed, "w-well… a… maybe…"

America scratched his head, "look… I'm sorry… so uh… how about to make it up to you we-"

"Hold it!" France yelled.

"What do you want France?" America said.

"England, if you don't mind, I would like you to have dinner with me."

"Huh?"

"Hey! I was going to say that!"

England watched as the two started to argue, "What's going on?"

Britannia had to hold Britannia back, "No! You can't!"

"Damn it! It's not fair! He gets to have America and France fighting over him!"

"I thought you didn't like France!"

Britannia blushed, "I-I don't!"

"I don't understand anything anymore!" This Valentines Day was too much for an angel to handle.

"This valentines day sucks!"

"Britannia!" Angel whispered, motioning to the ground.

Britannia stood up and crossed his hands over his chest, "Honestly, the only reason I'm here is to…" he turned and noticed the three staring at him.

"…crap…"

America and France looked at Britannia, then at England, and back again.

"There's two Englands." America mumbled.

"I always wanted to try it with twins…" France said, smiling.

England backed away, 'I have no idea what's going on… but better him than me…'

Britannia crossed his arms over his chest, "I'm not another England as you put it."

"?"

"Then what are you?"

"You could say I'm the past him. …Don't get any ideas France, I'd rather be tied up at sea than do anything with you."

"Well…"

"That can be arranged." France said, moving closer to him.

Britannia drew his sword, pointing it level with France. "Down boy."

"No really, a threesome would be nice!"

America coughed, "forgetting someone?"

"I wouldn't mind a foursome either. Now if there were one more of you…"

Angel hugged his legs to his chest, trying to make himself as small as possible. 'don't notice me. don't notice me don't notice me!'

Britannia scowled, "you're a bloody pervert."

France smirked, "well, America, which one do you want?"

America glanced at England who was attempting to run away.

"I pick both."

France frowned, "That's not fair."

America grabbed England and threw him over his shoulder before grabbing Britannia and holding him under his arm.

Britannia dropped his sword on the ground in surprise.

"Let me down you git!' England yelled hitting America's back and kicking.

He yelped when America's hand moved up his legs to steady him.

Britannia blushed, "A-America! L-let me down this instant!"

Dangling a few feet above the ground wasn't very comfortable. Neither was America's hand under his stomach.

France pouted, "There's two of them, why won't you share?"

"Sorry France made up my mind." America started walking away.

France stepped in front of him, "now now America. You're a reasonable man, how about we share?"

"I'll think about it."

"Like you could really handle both of them!"

"Both of them couldn't handle me."

Both Britannia and England stuttered, blushing profusely.

"W-what is that supposed to mean git?"

"T-talking like that! What do you mean?"

meanwhile, Angel crawled away while they argued. He really didn't want them to find him.

Angel yawned as he sat on the roof, the sun slowly setting.

He stretched and looked around. "I wonder where Britannia went… oh well."

England groaned, his head down on the table in front of him.

He didn't feel like moving. Now or ever again.

In the bedroom, Britannia winced as he sat up. "Crap… that bloody hurts…"

He got up off the bed and wobbled over to the bathroom to take a shower.

"Knew I shouldn't have taken the job…" he mumbled as he turned the hot water on.

Angel floated down from the roof, taking out a piece of paper, he slid it in the door's mailbox.

Satisfied, he went on his merry way.

A note lay in the bottom of the mailbox.

Best wishes and love

Wishing you a happy Valentines Day

From above

England- and this is why I will never understand Tba... what was the last part about anyway?

(Tba- The four of you had a romantic double date, went to a pub, got drunk, and ended up in my house. *lie*)

Tba- playing with her voodoo dolls* Got the idea when I bought these.

England- please don't say voodoo, they'll think of dolls with needles through them!

Tba- well, on the thing, it says voodoo. And these are really small. For key chains and stuff. They're really cute. *profile picture*

Britannia- Oh! There's a pirate one! …why is he holding a bow and arrow?

Angel- So cute! The angel has wings and a halo! He's holding a bow and arrow too~!

Tba- and that's how I came up with the story.

England- we're never letting you out of the house again.

Britannia-holding pirate doll* I kinda like it.

Angel- so cute! Can I keep it?

Tba- hey! I spent 5 dollars for those two!

England- EXPENSIVE! Or so that's what you would say.

Tba- anyway, before this gets any longer. Bye.

Britannia- seriously, can I keep it?

Tba- NOOOO!

Prussia- walks in with box of chocolates* here's your damn chocolate! Now where's my present?

England- YOU ACTUALLY BOUGHT IT?

Prussia- *notices people* uh… No….*hides box*

Angel- Happy valentines day everyone!

Tba & Prussia- happy Singles Awareness Day.

England- at least you two have each other!

France & America- Drags England away* we're borrowing him.

England- NOOOOOO!

TBA~