AN: I got to thinking about how many people Harry had lost, how many more people he was sure to lose in the war, and how many things they would all miss. And naturally, his wedding was a huge one. And thus, this story was born. I really rather like it, and I hope you will too. And I'd love it if you reviewed it.
Rating: K+ I guess...which would make it my first one...
Pairings: A nonslash Harry/James, and slight Harry/Ginny (that's easily ignorable if you so desire)
Disclaimer: When HP7 comes out I won't have even been back in my home country for twenty fours yet, after a three week trip to Europe. And I'll barely have time to read the book before I start band camp...Do you really think that's the situation J.K. Rowling will be in come July 21st? Exactly, therefore, I'm not J.K. Therefore, I own nothing except the little plot bunny that gave me this story.
Harry sat glumly on the couch in front of the fireplace of his flat the eve before his wedding. He was alone, of course, but his thoughts were on many others. Namely, those who he knew would not be at his impending wedding. His mother, his father, Sirius, Dumbledore, Remus- who had died during the war, Mr. Weasley- another casualty of the final battle, and the worst part was- they weren't the only ones. They were merely the ones who were at the forefront of his thoughts. And while the other deaths were not insignificant, there were three that really stood out in his mind: that of his mother, his father, and his godfather.
His other losses had left him wounded, but not nearly as much as that of his parental figures. It didn't seem fair, really. Was it so much to ask that he have at least one parental figure in his life? Or that his parents could be at his wedding? Weddings were about family, well- a huge part of weddings were, at least. And it didn't seem fair that his real family wouldn't be there. His surrogate family, the remaining Weasleys and the Order, they'd be there sure. But it wasn't the same…
And so Harry morosely sat, not at all happy (or even nervous) as a groom should be the last night of his bachelorhood. He knew that tears were forming in the back of his eyes, tears of mourning and self-pity, but he tried to hold them back. He should be happy, excited, he was marrying the girl he loved! Yet he couldn't stop thinking about all those whom he loved who he had lost.
Suddenly, however, a loud 'pop' sounding a semitone lower than that of an Apparition sound, distracted Harry from his thoughts. He looked up, and saw a raven-haired, hazel-eyed young man sitting on the love seat that was catty corner to the couch he was currently sitting in. Harry's eyes bulged as he realize that the man resembled the man in photographs he had of his father… But surely it couldn't be!
"D-Dad?" Harry stuttered,
"Harry." The messy raven-haired man softly with a smile,
"B-but you're…you're…"
"Dead? The man, who Harry was almost certain was his father, offered with a small wry smile.
"Yeah…" Harry whispered, not sounding so sure of this long accepted fact at all.
"I am. But, it is me. In the…well, not flesh. But in the something."
"But, then how…" Harry's head was beginning to hurt... Yet, for some unknown reason, he actually believed this man was his father.
"Does it really matter?" James asked with an eyebrow raised.
Harry shook his head.
"I just, can't believe it…you're…you're here."
"Yes, but not for long," James said gently. Harry frowned.
"What do you mean?"
"I'm here, Harry, because you needed me. Well, really- you would have been okay with Sirius or Lily too…but well, we had a fight over who got to come. I mean, no yelling, just (sort of) playful bickering. We knocked Sirius out of the running because at least he got to see you after he escaped. And Lily and I talked it out, and decided tonight of all nights- you needed a man. Although she wasn't happy about it…"
Harry's eyes were wide with disbelief, but just because it was so much to take in, for he believed all that this man, his father, was saying.
"She sends her love by the way." Harry nodded. "So does Sirius. Tried to say he loved you more…Lily didn't like that too much. I'll expect to find him in a bit of pain when I get back." Harry grinned,
"Remus and Sirius said she had a temper." James grinned.
"That she does. I ought to know too, I've been on the brunt of it enough times…" Harry frowned.
"I…I saw a memory- of Snape's- it was from after O.W.L.s…when you pranked him…nice job by the way…and then I saw Mum get mad at you…"
"Remus and Sirius told me about that, said you were awfully worried about it."
Harry nodded.
"She hated you." James grinned.
"No she didn't, Harry. She never hated me. She spent a long time not being able to stand me, sure, but she never hated me."
Harry nodded, half believing him. But James could tell he wasn't wholly convinced.
"Harry, trust me- your Mum, she loved me. And I loved her. More than anything, anyone even- except for you. She was the most important person in my life until you were born, and I hers. That all changed with you, but it was good change- a wonderful change. And trust me, Harry, you never would have been born if your Mum didn't love me. She's pretty unfriendly when she doesn't like someone… why do you think Voldemort was after us?" James added with a grin.
Harry grinned too, and found his heart a little lighter. The whole memory had bothered him more than he'd ever realized, let alone admitted.
"It's not fair…" he said, "that you won't be there. It's my wedding…my parents should be there. My godfather should be there. My-Remus should be there."
James laughed,
"Everyone should have their Remus at their wedding." James said with a grin. Harry gave a small sheepish smile in return. "Harry, I know you wish we were there. For your wedding, and everything else. For your life before now, and for your life in the future. And we wish we were there…we would kill to be there. But, sadly, things work out this way sometimes. It isn't fair, but that's how it is.
"And trust me, Harry. We may not be there tangibly, but we'll be there. In spirit, because in spirit we're always there. How could we not be? We may be dead, but we're not completely immobile or anything. And let me tell you, Lily is most definitely a mama bear. I mean, clearly- she sacrificed herself for you after all (something she's never regretted, and don't you doubt that for even a moment). And, well, the Fates or whoever exactly is in charge of life, death, and the afterlife would not want to deal with a mama bear Lily who's being completely deprived of her son."
Harry grinned. Yes, this was all entirely bizarre, but it was nice. It was so nice…to be able to talk to his parents, well, a parent. To get to know his father in away that wasn't through memories told by others, and to hear about his mother from the man who knew her best. To hear from his father how much they both loved him… something Harry couldn't ever remember hearing them say in life. Well, it was more than nice, really. It was wonderful.
"So, son." James said, with a smile. "Now that that's done…tell me about this girl." Harry grinned. "What's her name again?"
"Ginny. Ginny Weasley."
"Sirius says she's a redhead." Harry nodded. "'The Potter men have a thing for redheads, eh Prongs?' he said. I told him only when they were special."
"Ginny's special alright…the most special."
"Good. That's what you deserve." Harry smiled. "Tell me more about her. What's her family like?" Harry laughed,
"The Weasleys…it's insane. Ginny has six older brothers, six."
"You dated a girl with six older brothers? Are you nuts?"
Harry laughed.
"She's worth it." James rolled his eyes.
"Hey!" Harry cried indignantly, and then he paused with a grin, "Besides, from what I hear, you said stuff like that about Mum all the time."
James paused,
"True." They both laughed, and then James continued, "Anyways, about her family. Six older brothers."
"Right. Well, Ron, he's the closest to her in age, he's my best mate."
"You've really gone about finding the girl all wrong. Dating your best friend's little sister?"
"Yeah, I know. That's why I didn't do anything about it for awhile. Well, for awhile after I figured out my feelings. I was afraid Ron would kill me, you should have seen him about Ginny's other boyfriends. But, actually, he really likes the idea. All the Weasleys do. They trust me, I guess. And I had already been sort of a surrogate member of their family before we started dating anyway."
"Remus said something along those lines." Harry nodded.
"Did they tell you about George and Fred, Ginny's twin older brothers?" James frowned in thought, "They were my generation's Marauders…they found the Map you know."
"Oh, they're the ones! I tell you, this is some family. Your best mate, your future wife, and the newest batch of Marauders."
"Yeah, they're something. Mr. and Mrs. Weasley…they've been great to me. Mrs. Weasley has been like a second mum…she's been wonderful."
James gave a small sad smile.
"I'm glad."
"Mr. Weasley won't be there tomorrow, either…" Harry said glumly. James frowned.
"Oh, Harry." James said with a sigh, "You need to think about this differently."
"How so?" Harry asked, confusion masking his face.
"You need to stop thinking about who won't be there (although I've already told you we will be there to witness it, just not in the traditional way). You need to think about who will be there. Ginny for one, and you know, I've always thought of the bride as a major component of the wedding. I don't think I could have had one without your mum."
Harry snorted.
"And your best mate'll be there, Ron. And, from what I hear, his girlfriend also happens to be your best friend, and should be there as well."
Harry nodded.
"Best Man and Maid of Honor respectively." He said quietly.
"See. They're important to have there! And sure, your Mum won't be there- but your second mother will be. And yes, Dumbledore won't be there, but McGonagall will be. And don't let Minnie's cold exterior fool you, she loves you. She's had a soft spot for you since the day you were born. She babysat you once, actually…
"Sirius, the oof, landed himself in Saint Mungo's and Lily and I had to go see him. Remus was recuperating, and we didn't know who else to call. We called Dumbledore, but no one was there in his office except McGonagall. She jumped at the chance." James paused, and then continued thoughtfully, "That was the only time Lily and I ever left you where we weren't worried about coming home to find you turned purple or something."
"So Sirius was my usual babysitter?" Harry said with an amused smile.
"Gee, how'd you guess?" James asked sarcastically with a snort of laughter.
"He couldn't have been that irresponsible, you made him godfather. You were willing to have him babysit me for the rest of my life if anything happened to you."
"Yeah." James said softly, "You have no idea how upset I was that he didn't get to fulfill that position. Merlin, Harry, if we had known…"
"I know. And it was okay, it all turned out okay. And, Sirius did get to fulfill the position in the end. Which is when I really needed him."
"But he should have been there all along. He wanted to be there all along." Harry nodded, before turning his head so that his father wouldn't see the tears in his eyes.
James noticed anyways, and his heart broke at the sight.
"Harry, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have…"
"It's okay." He said, wiping his eyes since he had clearly been caught. "Everything turned out okay. And, yes it may have been miserable with the Dursleys, but I was safe."
James wanted to say that he would have been safe and happy with Sirius. Even Remus most days of the month (he could have gone somewhere else for the full moon), but he realized that it would only make Harry more upset. So he said nothing, but kept the sad, angry, thought to himself.
"So, more about Ginny." James said, briskly changing the topic.
A look overtook his son's face, a look much like the one that he was told appeared on his own when he talked about Lily. It really is love, then. He thought to himself. It wasn't that he had thought otherwise really, this was just evidence right in front of his nose.
"She's… Merlin, I don't even know how to describe her, not really. Amazing comes to mind, but that's not really descriptive. Neither is brilliant, nor wonderful. She's just…Ginny."
James grinned. If Sirius had been there he would have made some comment about how Potter men seemed to get really whipped by the redheads they loved. James and Harry both would have told him to shut it.
"She in the Order?" James asked, not sure of what else to ask.
Harry nodded.
"Her whole family is. One of her brothers, Percy, joined late. But all the others joined as soon as they could- her parents too. Ginny's not a girl to take anything lying down." Harry grinned, "'Mione says that's why we make a good match. She says we're both too stubborn to take any crap from the other…She's right I suppose. You should have seen Ginny after I tried to break up with her to protect her at Dumbledore's funeral. She didn't say anything then, but she pulled me aside and gave me an earful later."
"Sounds like she bloody should have." James mumbled. Harry made an indignant noise. "I shouldn't talk, I suppose. I tried to do the same thing with your mum. She had the same reaction… without the not saying anything at first…"
Harry laughed.
"I wish…I wish I could talk to Mum. Know her."
"I know, she wishes it too. One day, Harry, when it's time."
Harry nodded.
"Oh, Harry. We all miss you, but we're willing to wait to spent time with you again. We want the best for you, and that's a long happy life, one with your future wife, who seems to be wonderful. One day, one day we'll have the chance to make up for all we never got to have. But that day is a long day away.
"Don't spend anymore time wishing for that day, Harry. Or wishing for what might have been. What's done is done, and now all you can do is live a long happy life. And you can't keep doing that if you keep moping about everyone you've lost.
"Think of us, Harry, but think happy thoughts regarding us- not sad ones. Think about how much your mum and I loved each other, and you. Think about how much Lily, Sirius, Remus, and I were willing to do to protect you. Think about how much Dumbledore did to help you. Think about how lucky you were to be loved by so many people. Think about the fact that they aren't suffering like they might have in life, and how they're not suffering even if they didn't suffer in life. Think about how happy we are because you're happy."
Harry nodded, tears in his eyes from his father's speech.
"Merlin." James said, sounding frustrated with himself, "I never meant to make you cry, especially not this much. Maybe I should have let Lily, or Sirius, or Remus come…"
Harry shook his head.
"I'm glad you came." He paused, "Not that I wouldn't have been happy to see Mum, or Sirius, or Remus." He added hurriedly, "but I'm happy to see you. I'm glad you came…it helped."
"Good." James said, "I'm glad…Oh, Harry. I really wish I could hug you…I wish I could stay. But, I can't- and I have to go."
Harry nodded.
"I understand."
His dad stood, and brushed imaginary dirt off his pants.
"I love you Harry." He said, with a sad smile. Harry realized his father's hazel eyes were tearing behind his glasses. That made Harry feel a little better that his own eyes were tearing again.
"I love you too, Dad." He added the last part uncertainly. Which broke his father's heart a little more, but yet made it jump at hearing something he'd never heard except what closely resembled the name in baby Harry babble. "I love Mum too. And Sirius, and Remus." He hesitated, "And…thank you…for coming. It meant a lot."
His father gave a small sad smile.
"I'm always here when you need me."
And Harry knew that he didn't need to mourn any longer. His passed away loved ones were happy, and they weren't gone for good. They would be there the next day, not the way he'd always wanted, or even dreamed of. But being there in some way was better than not being better at all. And the next day, with the presence of them or not, he'd be marrying Ginny. And Ginny would always be there, just as all the others who loved him would be regardless of the future.
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