One For The Zombie
He wakes up in his death.
He lets out a low ragged moan and for the very first time senses the burning hunger deep down within. Brains, he craves for brains. Warm, gooey, bloody, fresh human brains. Yes, he used to be a tall dark movie star handsome hairy man, but now he has become a zombie. He doesn't care about "why". He doesn't want to know "how". His brain cells are already dead. He is a walking corpse. He is a monster of the night. He is a creature of darkness. He is a greyish green zombie. He won't feel pain. He won't feel ashamed. He doesn't remember who killed him: He doesn't care. He won't want to revenge. He just wants brains. He wants to chew a human head open. He wants to stick out his decomposing tongue to lick, and then sucks out the soft creamy yummy greyish pink brain inside the cracked-open skull. Sweet, fluffy, pudding-like brains. His sole addiction. The only meaning and purpose of his miserable existence.
He leers, and showed his off-white, uneven teeth. He tries to move and break away from his confining bondage. He fails. He tries again, and fails again. He has lost the ability to feel confused the moment that silvery cake knife stabbed through his heart and killed him on the spot. He didn't even have time to ask Stephanie "Why, Cupcake? Why?" before she packed a bag, grabbed Rex, and fled. He didn't scowl when the blonde gorilla named Hal, one of Ranger's thugs, let himself in, squatted down beside him, checked his vital signs, made a couple calls, and left. He didn't protest when the RangeMan clean-up team silently arrived and set to work immediately. He couldn't. Even if he wanted to. He was already dead. He was lying stark naked on Stephanie's floor, with a hot pink bubble gum flavored condom in his hand. He'd been so sure she would fall madly in love with all the little knobs.
Oh boy was he wrong.
Blood was everywhere. He will never know why Stephanie was so mad. He will never know he'd made the biggest mistake in his life. He was no longer alive. He was but something that needed to be hide, to bury, to destroy, to be made disappear. And now here he is. A hungry zombie. A living dead. A supernatural phenomenon. A decomposing human remain trapped inside a huge block of concrete sunk at the bottom of the cold merciless sea. Deep-sea creatures flow past him. Nuclear submarines sail overhead above him. Stephanie and Rex are living happily with Ranger. The RangeMan clean-up team know what they are doing. Hal gets a call from his petite fiancée and blushes fiercely. Bob the dog sniffs the scent of tomato sauce inside Mrs. Morelli's living room and once again starts howling. Grandma Bella murmurs to herself and places the Eye on Snooki. Joe Morelli, the world's most unfortunate zombie, tries to move and break away from his confining bondage. And fails. And fails. And fails. And fails.
"Cupcake..." He moans.
"Cupcake..." He groans.
"Cupcake..." He drools.
"Cupcake..." He struggles in vain against his destiny. "Yuuuuuuuuum..."
And some poor souls think he's happily married to his high school sweet heart, the cold-eyed mob Barbie, Terry...