Broken From Afar
The sun slunk behind a patch of gray clouds overhead as students headed through the large doors of Hogwarts Castle. A lone figure sat on the grass, his tawny hair fluttering into his brown eyes as he sighed. It had happened again. Everything had been going great until she had started talking about him. He hadn't said anything, he never did. He was her friend, both of their friends.
Remus knew he should go inside and meet his friends for dinner but at the moment he couldn't stand to see them. He pulled his cloak about him to ward off the chill that was setting in. The sixteen-year-old sighed once more, feeling a single tear sliding down his cheek. He caught it with his fingertip as the afternoon replayed itself in his mind again.
He and Lily sat in the library at their own table. They were studying for Transfiguration, or that's what they had started out doing. They'd long given up on trying memorizing the material. At the moment Remus was wrapping an arm around Lily's shoulder, pulling her closer as they pulled apart to catch their breath. The teens beamed at each other, emerald green on chocolate brown. She leaned forward, falling out of her chair and into his lap as their lips connected once more. Remus gripped the table to the chair as it tipped backwards.
"Careful," he breathed quickly.
"Ok," Lily whispered against her cheek, sending shivers down the werewolf's back.
They continued their course of action until they both grew breathless. Lily sat in his lap, her head on his shoulder. His hand was running through her ruby colored hair. He was smiling contentedly. He was holding the girl he dreamed of every night in his arms. He thought nothing could ruin the moment.
"I'm going to get to spend the whole of Christmas holiday with James and his parents," Lily said softly with a grin.
"Oh," Remus muttered in response.
"It's going to be great. I'm so excited," she exclaimed happily, getting up and beginning to gather her books.
"That's great," he muttered, his gaze focused anywhere but her.
"He said he's got loads of stuff planned. Since he's grown up and isn't being a complete prat, he's a really sweet guy," she mused as she tossed her quills into her bag.
"Yeah he's a good guy," Remus affirmed.
"Well I have to go, I'm supposed to meeting a third year boy for tutoring in Care of Magical Creatures," she said as she slung her bag over her shoulder.
"Alright. Bye," Remus answered as he pulled his book to him.
She walked away with a wave over her shoulder. Remus sat in the library for what seemed like eons until he decided to go outside and get some fresh air. He'd been left undisturbed the rest of the afternoon.
Remus shook himself from the memory and got up, drying his now moist face with his sleeve and headed inside. He skipped dinner, deciding he could go to the kitchens later and get something. He reached the Gryffindor Common Room and gave the password. He headed straight for the boy's dorm and tossed himself at his bed. He must have fallen asleep because he felt himself being shaken. He opened his eyes and looked up to see the blurry form of Sirius and Peter standing over him.
"What? What's going on?" Remus questioned sleepily.
"Get up Moony. You've missed supper. We brought you something," Sirius said, setting a silver tray at his friend's feet.
"Thanks," the werewolf answered as he sat up.
"Where's James?" he asked as he sipped at his pumpkin juice.
"Off with Evans somewhere. Snogging probably," Sirius answered with a smug look.
"Oh. Yeah that makes sense," Remus murmured as he took another bite of meat pie.
His friends let him finish his meal in silence. Peter was sitting on his own bed, looking at them nervously. He really was a twitchy kid, never fit in well anywhere. Luckily, he didn't bother James, Remus and Sirius too much. Remus finally set his tray on the side table, got up and followed his friends to the Common Room to enjoy the night.
The rest of the term passed by relatively uneventfully for Remus. He'd had several more letdowns from Lily but he had gotten used to them by now. However lately she could not stop talking about spending Christmas with James. It was getting to Remus. He'd been so upset lately he'd been skipping meals, growing ghastly thin, thinner than he already was. Lily still didn't seem to notice. She was too busy flirting with Remus only to turn around climb all over James. How no one else could see it was beyond Remus. He decided that night was going to confront her and tell her. If James happened to be there then all the better. James deserved to know what was going on, even if Remus was his friend. Remus found the pair in the Common Room just after lunch on Saturday. It was mostly empty otherwise.
"Lily I need to talk to you," Remus said confidently, his face conveying no sway of emotion.
"Can it wait Moony?" James asked as he looked at his friend.
"No. It can't wait James," Remus answered, working to keep his tone even.
"What is it?" Lily questioned, sitting up straight in the chair she was sharing with James.
"I'm sick of it," Remus spat.
"Sick of what?" she asked, looking confused.
"Sick of being treated like shit! You know damn well how I feel about you. You go on and play me like a sap," the werewolf exploded.
"Remus I—" she began.
"Shut up. I'm not done," he hissed.
"You get my hopes up, only to send them crashing the next minute. All you do is talk about him," he snarled, his entire body shaking, pointing his finger at James.
"You have no idea how hurt I feel every time you start talking about him. Are you purposely trying to rip me up inside?" he accused.
Lily said nothing, tears slipping from her gem-like eyes.
"Well?" he snapped.
"I…I'm sorry. I don't know what to say," Lily stammered.
"What are you talking about?" James piped up, standing to match his friend's height.
"Remus I do like you. It's just…James and I…" the redhead mumbled, ignoring James.
"See. You're even doing it now! I don't need to take this. You can't have it both ways! So make your damn choice!" he screamed, his fists balling up.
"Will one of you explain what the hell you're talking about?" James snapped.
"She's been messing around behind your back," Remus seethed.
James' eyes widened as he looked from his girlfriend to his friend and back again. He lunged forwards and knocked Remus to the ground, pinning him on either side. His fist sped through the air and connected with Remus's cheek.
"James! Stop it!" Lily exclaimed, trying to pull James off.
"How dare you touch her you prick," he spat, shrugging off Lily like a coat.
"She was the one cheating on you moron," Remus hissed as he got in a shot of his own.
"Both of you please. I'm sorry. Please just stop. It's my fault. I know that. I'm so sorry that I hurt you, Remus," she cried, tears flowing from her eyes.
The boys stopped their fighting and looked at her. Remus wiped the blood from the corner of his mouth with his sleeve, his eyes cold. James glared at his friend as he did the same.
"You're not sorry," he spat.
"Yes I am. I didn't see what I was doing. And you're right. I can't have it both ways, even if I want it that way. It's not fair to either of you," she babbled through her waterfall of tears.
"What you expect me to just forgive you? You think putting a bandage over an infected wound will heal it? Well you're wrong," Remus growled.
"No I don't expect you to forgive me! What I did was horrible," she shouted, turning to look at James.
"I'm sorry but I think we need to take some time off," she said and took off towards the dormitories.
James stood up and continued to glare at Remus. The werewolf pulled himself up as well and straightened his robes. He didn't care what James thought of him at that moment. He was more aggravated at Lily for avoiding the decision she had to make. Without a word Remus walked out of the room, leaving James alone.