This is my naNo for this year. It is made up completely of therapy sessions between Linda and Lucifer, most of which take place after Monster. Because Monster aired at the beginning of the month, a lot of this ends up becoming AU. Most of this is made up of my own personal headcanon. Don't expect this to go into pairings, as for the most part it will stay pretty much gen, with Lucifer occasionally talking of sex with others. There will be no sex with Chloe, Dan, Ella, Maze or Linda (except for as payment in the beginning. And a boyfriend later on.)

I have only a little experience having therapy in my life, both as a child and an adult and no experience on the other side, so expect mistakes since most of this is by research done before writing the story.

Each session was made up each day on the spot as soon as I found a prompt that gave me an idea that moved the story on. This was done completely using the 100 prompts table from Livejournal.

Beginnings

Payment delivered, along with keeping up with his end of the earlier deal, Lucifer had gotten changed, helped set the couch back up as a couch and sat on it like a normal person in therapy. Or, so he supposed.

He suddenly realised he had no idea what one was supposed to actually do in a therapy session. Was it all just talking, or did they do activities that didn't involve sex or fun things like that?

Linda took her time getting changed, a satisfied yet stern look on her face, as she tried to go from lover to doctor mode. It took her a minute before it fell fully into doctor mode. That made him happy. She could handle sex as payment then.

It was a sacrifice he was more than willing to give. Heh.

"So, you said you were having existential crises. What did you mean by that?" she asked and he sat up straighter.

Okay, it was talking. He could do talking, he was quite good at it. Unfortunately he wasn't too good with feelings. "Well, I seem to have picked up a conscience. I think I've been on Earth too long. Humans are rubbing off on me."

Linda's head cocked to one side in a move he thought was actually quite charming on the woman. "You are othering yourself from humanity?"

"Oh, yes. As I said the first time I was in here, I'm the Devil. You know, my name is Lucifer. God given and all."

She nodded, obviously remembering that conversation and how he agreed when she called him the devil. "Ah. Alright, and why is this conscience a problem?"

He leant back and spread his arms wide. "Because I'm not supposed to have one. I haven't really felt anything in eons, and then suddenly boom, feelings! I know fun and have felt what its like to be high and tipsy and the thrill of sex. I love sex. Don't really care about the people I have sex with, but wow does it feel good."

She shook her head at him. "I still don't see why it is bad that you are suddenly feeling these good things. Why is it bad? Why not just embrace it like you have with your sexuality?"

He frowned and thought about that one. Maze kept on nagging him to stop feeling things lately and it was beginning to annoy him. Annoyance didn't feel good. And neither does the confusion he'd been feeling since meeting the detective called Chloe Decker.

"I don't know. I guess I just didn't really think of humanity rubbing off on me was going to have that effect. I mean, I didn't even sleep with Delilah! She was my employee, and I make sure my night club is safe for those within it, both the workers and the clients."

"So you don't sleep with your employees? That's good. It would make things awkward."

He nodded. "Oh yes, I found that out the hard way after doing so the first month of owning the club. Learnt my lesson the hard way. No sex with the workers. Sex with the clubbers though is fine. It's fun!"

"Yes, we have established that sex can be fun. We aren't talking about sex right now, we are talking about you feeling something you don't think you should feel for Delilah. Who then died."

He hummed and nodded. "Yes, in my arms in a spray of bullets. Very messy. Had to throw away that suit, it was riddled with bullet holes."

"The suit...bullet holes? Okay, so you were there with her when she was shot. And of course the devil wouldn't be injured by bullets..."

"No! Immortality is a blessing. Well, it is when being shot at anyway. Delilah wasn't so lucky."

Linda nodded and looked distracted. She reached around her to the desk and picked up a pad of paper. She spent five minutes writing down notes.

"Okay, that's better. I forgot my notebook when we got started. My mind was...elsewhere..."

He grinned. "Yes, I know exactly where your mind was."

She sighed at him. "Alright, so what exactly did Delilah dying make you feel?"

"I just...I wanted to find who killed her and made sure they were punished. She was going to turn her life around! I pulled in my end of the bargain, and she accepted even though it was going to be hard on her. She was going to get clean, get help. Well, obviously she was already on that part of things. Which was good. Did she mention me?"

Linda frowned. "I can't discuss other people's sessions with you Lucifer. You know that."

"Yeah, well, she's dead. She won't mind. And I'm not asking for specifics this time."

"Well, she did seem to be a bit edgy during her last few sessions. She kept asking if she made the right choice. She kept saying she felt she sold her soul to the devil."

Lucifer rolled his eyes. "Yeah, I talked to her about that, before she got shot up. She realised she was being silly. What would I want her soul for anyway? She was a good person. A little misguided, but all her choices were her own. All I did was set up a meeting to get her a record deal. That's it. That is not selling her soul. That's getting her out of a night club and into the spotlight she wanted. She had a lovely voice! That should be heard by the world, not just a few people on Saturday nights."

Linda smiled. "It does sound like you cared for her well being."

He nodded. "Exactly! That! Right there. What's it called?"

"Compassion."

"Yes. Ugh, compassion. That."

"Empathy."

"Oh, now you're making things worse!"

Linda did that cocking her head to one side thing again. "Why is that? Why worse?"

"Because that means I actually care!"

"Empathetic then. You can empathise with someone without actually feeling any actual empathy for them. It's a taught skill, actually."

He leaned forward. "Truly? You learn how to fake feeling sorry for others to make them feel better? Hah! Sometimes you humans amuse me. I like that. It's so devious!"

"But you weren't faking. Everything you have said tells me quite clearly that you did actually care what happened to Delilah. You wanted her to do better for herself, helped her out to get into the pop world and got her to the point of rehab to help with her drug habit. It's obvious that in some way she looked up to you. I think you did intimidate her a bit, but she was an ex employee who came back to make sure she made the right decision in her life."

He wanted to be angry with the first half of what Linda had said. All the things about him actually caring, but stopped that instead for a little bit of understanding to shoot through at the last words and he closed his eyes and let his head fall back on the couch. "You sent her to me."

She sighed and nodded. "I didn't know it was you, obviously. She just kept going on about this favour you gave her and that she was afraid of paying it in, because you never specified what you wanted in return."

"I always keep my word. And I never break a promise or a deal. She asked me to help set up that interview with Jimmy Barnes. I told her she would owe me a favour in return, that I would collect it later. I didn't specify because I didn't know what I wanted from her at the time. By the time she came back, she was worried for her soul, I eased her of that notion and as payment, I told her she should get clean. She thought about it for a while and accepted. I was going to book her into one of those great little rehab places that actually care for their patients. Make sure it stuck, you know?"

"Lucifer, those places are really expensive. You don't just pay for someone's rehab if you barely know them. Not without some form of attachment. So, what was it?"

He frowned. "Why was I attached? I...don't know. Maybe it was how freaked out she was over the actual fearing for her soul thing. If I had a choice to begin with, I wouldn't choose Hell, either. She's lucky. Nothing she actually did do was a mortal sin, except for that whole cheating thing, but that's why she began therapy. To get help and learn to live better. She made up for that sin. Telling her I wasn't interested in her soul was basically a free ticket to Heaven! If she thinks she's not destined for Hell and has only the little sins under her name, she'll get in. Sex, drugs, lying, those things can get you in Hell, but only if you feel guilty for them. She had already made up her mind to reform, to change. It was during that time of calm and peace she died. If she is in Hell, I am going to be so pissed off with Dad..."

"Wait, what does your father have to do with this?"

He stared at her. "I'm the Devil. Dear old Dad is the big man Himself. You know, God? The one you can call all you want but he never answers. He's gone radio silent on the whole bloody planet, I swear."

"Right, your father is God."

"Yes. Glad we got that sorted."

Linda opened her mouth, as if to say something else, but let out a low moan instead. She threw her hands in the air. "You know what? I need time to wrap my head around that one."

He nodded. "Yes, the truth can be quite hard to accept. Your minds simply weren't made for the knowledge. You'll get used to it. Or, alternatively, you'll go mad. Either way, I'll see you next week then, shall I? Any preferences?"

She blinked at him, her eyes going down to stare at his trousers covered crotch and licked her lips. "Just yourself."

He grinned back before getting up and heading towards the door. "That, I am quite happily agreeable on. Goodbye Doctor."

"Goodbye, Lucifer. Drive carefully."

And with that, he walked out of his first official session with a therapist. Huh, he was glad he had decided to do this. He was beginning to realise that talking things out with someone who actually is there to actually listen to him helped a bit. So what if he was getting a little bit more human.

He decided that maybe it wasn't all bad. And if anything, he can do some wicked deeds to make up for the good ones.