This was prompted by aplleos on tumblr, who asked for a fic where "Tina has nightmares about the "I'll catch you" scene and newt comforts her?" Originally I was just going to focus on Newt, but then Queenie turned up and this became a longer fic than I intended about Tina and trust issues.
Part of this is also because of a comment I saw on an IMDB board; someone said that they didn't think Tina would survive the scene because they thought she was "too far gone and would choose to die"…whatever that means…though I do believe that Tina perhaps has some difficulty trusting people at first because of her past, but still.
Enjoy!
The memories swirling beneath her feet are happy and full of love, making her smile for what feels like the first time in years; her parents' faces smile back at her in the liquid, calling her name, beckoning for her to join them – and she wants to, she so badly wants to. It's been so long since she last saw her mother and father, and she misses them more than she cares to admit. She wants to be with them again, for her and her sister to have their parents back – for them to be a happy family once more.
"Tina…Come to me, Tina…"
The picture in the potion shifts and changes rapidly; instead of her parents she can see herself in a dark room, approaching something cautiously. Then she sees it: the Second Salemer boy cowering on the floor in front of a woman, his mother if she recalls correctly, absolutely terrified and broken. The woman stares at her, and she suddenly sees it – the woman is wielding a man's belt with a heavy buckle. The boy has bruises and cuts on his face and hand.
It makes her so angry that she sees herself raising her wand and cursing that horrible woman; the boy cowers again when Tina approaches, still terrified, but her touch is gentle. He listens as she comforts him softly.
There is some commotion from somewhere else in the cell around her, but she can't draw her eyes away from the potion rising steadily beneath the chair: she wants to make sure the boy is safe, wants to protect him and all of the other children that have suffered at this woman's hands.
"It's okay," She tells him, wrapping her arms around him; he relaxes in her arms, suddenly safe.
She doesn't notice the wand that falls into the liquid – but she does notice the pictures changing rapidly, changing for the worst.
Suddenly the Second Salemer woman is in front of her, face stony as thunder, eyes cold and judging. It makes Tina squirm in her seat, and suddenly the happy trance she had fallen into disappeared; she wants the happy memories back, wants to see her parents again, but the image doesn't change. The potion is just inches away from the bottom of the chair when the woman lifts her hand and points a finger directly at her.
"Witch."
Such persecution and hatred causes Tina to look away, and she sees Ne- Mr Scamander, sees some kind of wild beast swooping around the cell around her; the executioners are on the floor, knocked out.
"MR SCAMANDER!"
Her voice is terrified, and she can barely force it out – but she does and he looks at her. The potion is starting to burn through the chair, and she stands up to try and escape – she almost falls in her haste but regains her balance at the last second.
"Don't panic!" He calls.
"WHAT DO YOU SUGGEST I DO INSTEAD?!"
He looks at the creature, makes a strange tutting noise; it starts to circle the pool, closer to her. He looks back at her again. "Jump..."
She looks at the creature and can't help but feel fearful – how on earth is it going to help? "Are you crazy?!"
He looks serious. "Jump on him."
He's standing on the edge of the pool, watching his creature as it swoops and circles around Tina. When she doesn't move, he gestures to her again.
"Tina, listen to me," He says hurriedly. "I'll catch you, Tina!"
The two of them make eye contact, and he's trying to reassure her – but she just can't believe that this could possibly work, no matter how hard she tries. The liquid has risen up now, up to her full height, and she's starting to lose sight of him.
He's insistent, almost calm. "I'll catch you. I've got you, Tina."
She barely knows him, her mind screams, and he wants her to trust him – but what other choice does she have? She's fully aware she's about to die if she doesn't trust him. The potion has formed into what looks like thick black jaws that are closing in for the kill – it's now or never.
Suddenly he lets out a cry. "Go!"
A part of her wants to jump, and the swooping creature is about to fly in front of her – it would be the right time to jump. All she has to do is trust that he will catch her.
But she can't. She can't will herself to do it.
It's too late now: the potion closes in around her, engulfing her completely and it burns so badly it hurts she can't even breathe-
"TINA!"
"Tina! Wake up, Teenie!"
Tina was still sobbing as she was shaken awake, and she realized that Queenie was hovering over her; she had her wand tip lit, and her facial expression was one of motherly concern – it reminded Tina of their mother, and the pit in her stomach worsened.
"Hey, it was just a bad dream," Queenie said softly, wrapping an arm around her sister. There was a pause as Queenie read her mind, and then a gasp. "Oh, Tina…"
"I'm fine," Tina lied, gritting her teeth as she furiously wiped her eyes on her pyjama sleeve. "It was only a bad dream – it wasn't real. I'm fine."
"No, you're not," Queenie stated in a matter-of-fact voice. "That was an awful dream…and most of it was real…"
Tina gave a huff as she half-heartedly glared at her sister. "Stop reading my mind. I said I'm fine – now can I go back to sleep?"
Her sister wasn't convinced – she could still see what Tina was thinking – but she pulled away. "Alright, Teenie, if you insist. But if you need to talk or something, then just let me know – we can sit down with some cocoa or something."
She nodded half-heartedly and watched as her sister retreated back to her own bed in the dark; the wand-light went off, cloaking the room in darkness once more.
It was only a bad dream, Tina told herself firmly: I'm still alive, it's going to be fine.
But it wasn't: she had been so close to death, and she hadn't been able to recover from it yet – this was her first night of sleep since what had happened. Just hours earlier, she had seen the boy – Credence – killed for being an Obscurus, she had been unable to help him, and it would be a long time until that stopped haunting her as well. If only she could have done something more…
No. She shook the thought from her head; she was fine. Tomorrow morning, she would get up early and see Newt Scamander off on his boat back to England, and then she could go back to her normal life with her sister. She would be an Auror again, she wouldn't have to spy on the Second Salmers in secret any longer, and everything would be fine.
A sudden thought occurred to her at that: Newt had insisted on sleeping in his case that night, saying that he wanted to be close to his creatures if necessary, and the sisters had let him leave said case in the spare room of the apartment…but now she was thinking about it, she couldn't help but wonder if he was planning to escape again.
There was no reason for her to be so alarmed by that thought – it wasn't as if she was planning to arrest or turn him into MACUSA in the morning, or that his beasts had gotten loose again, but it was possible. Part of her really hoped he hadn't left as she had really wanted to say goodbye to him properly.
Once Tina was sure Queenie was asleep, she carefully threw the covers off of herself and stepped out of bed; as she moved to the door, she made sure to pick up her wand (just in case, she reasoned uneasily) and step over the board that she knew creaked. She opened the door as slowly and quietly as possible, wary of waking her sister up, and stepped out of the room.
She was only somewhat surprised to see the case in the spare room, still latched shut; so Newt hadn't made a run for it, at least not yet. A part of her felt inexplicably pleased about that, though she shoved it aside in favour of feeling silly – of course he wouldn't have run away, she scolded herself, he was their friend.
As she looked at that case, she couldn't help but feel slightly saddened at the fact that it would be gone in less than twenty-four hours – she would miss the creatures she had seen, even if they had caused havoc in New York City, and a small part of her was even going to miss Newt Scamander. He wasn't really so bad, she thought, and she couldn't help but hope to herself that his book would be a success – everyone needed to know about these beasts, they needed to know that they deserved to be respected and cared for as opposed to feared or killed.
Tina straightened up and sighed; there was no point in standing about, and it would have been best to get some sleep before their early start in the morning. She was exhausted from their adventure – they all were – and what she really needed was to sleep.
"MR SCAMANDER!" She's screaming. He looks at her. She stands and tries to climb on the chair. She nearly falls but balances at the last second.
"Don't panic!" He calls.
"WHAT DO YOU SUGGEST I DO INSTEAD?!"
He looks at the creature, makes a strange tutting noise. The creature circles the pool, close to her. He looks back at her again. "Jump…"
She looks and her courage disappears. She's fearful, in disbelief. "Are you crazy?!"
"Jump on him." He's serious.
He stands by the edge of the pool. The creature swoops and circles her. She doesn't move.
"Tina, listen to me," He says hurriedly. "I'll catch you, Tina!"
They make eye contact. He's trying to be reassuring. It doesn't work. The potion is at her full height now, and he disappears from her sight.
He's insistent, almost calm. "I'll catch you. I've got you, Tina."
She doesn't know him very well. He wants her to trust him – she wants to trust him. She's going to die. The potion is a pair of black jaws, about to engulf its prey.
He lets out a cry. "Go!"
The creature swoops, ready to catch her. She wants to jump.
But she can't. It's too much to ask of her to trust him. She barely knows him.
She doesn't jump.
The potion burns as it engulfs her. She can't breathe at all and it's all searing pain-
"TINA!"
"Tina!"
Tina nearly fell out of bed as she jolted awake, still half-sobbing and sweating from her dream; Queenie entered the room at that moment, washed and dressed. When she saw her sister, the blonde let out a sigh.
"Oh, Teenie…again?"
"I'm fine."
"The more you say it, the less I believe it." She sat down on the bed, looking awfully worried as she eyed her sister. "It's that nightmare again – the one in the death cell."
Tina could feel her cheeks heat up; she was an Auror, for goodness sake, not a little girl – there was no need to have reoccurring nightmares like this!
"Even the toughest of Aurors have nightmares," Queenie said sagely.
Tina rolled her eyes at her sister. "Please don't read my mind."
"I can't help it…after all, people are easiest to read when they're hurting…and you're hurting badly."
Her sister was just trying to help, she knew, but it was still rather humiliating to be caught having the same nightmare twice by the same person. Still, she rubbed at her eyes and tried to push the nightmare from her mind.
"Why did you come in here, anyway?"
Queenie's face lit up, and she was beaming with excitement. "You won't believe this…you've got a letter!"
Tina noticed that her sister was holding a sealed envelope in her hand and reached for it. "You better not have read it-"
"I didn't," Queenie protested, handing her sister the letter.
"And what's so unbelievable about me getting a letter? It's probably just something from work or…"
"No," Queenie disagreed eagerly. "It was delivered by an absolutely stunning white owl, and the handwriting…I could be wrong, but I think it's Newt's!"
This, admittedly, made Tina perk up with interest. "Newt? But how do you know…?"
"Well, I don't know for certain, but…" She had suddenly gone pink. "He left a note for…for someone before he left that I happened to see, and…"
Tina wasn't stupid – far from it – and she immediately knew just what had caused her sister to flush so suddenly. "You've been seeing Ja- the No-Maj, haven't you?"
"Well, not seeing him…I've been to his bakery a few times and…and we may have talked…"
"Queenie!" She couldn't believe that her sister could be so stupid! She knew the law, she knew that No-Majs and wizards weren't meant to mix, and yet she was still doing it!
The blonde witch straightened up suddenly. "I miss him, Teenie, and that law is…it's absolutely ridiculous! Jacob would never expose us, never, and the fact that we can't even mix is unfair-"
"I know," Tina said softly, and she felt her heart break for her little sister. "I know that you care for him. I…I miss him too. I miss both of them."
"At least you can still talk to Newt," Queenie stated, gesturing to the forgotten letter; she was slightly misty-eyed. "All I can do is stand there and watch him…I see him thinking, Teenie, and he knows something…it's all muddled, and he can't quite figure it out yet. But he will someday, and when that happens then…then we could figure something out, surely…"
Tina didn't want to crush her sister's hopes or dreams – it didn't look as if MACUSA were going to change their view on the law any time soon, and she knew it would be best to not push it so soon after what had happened beforehand. Instead she turned back to the letter and opened it without another word.
Tina,
I just thought I would let you know that my manuscript is going to be published in just a few weeks. I'm very excited, but also a tad nervous because I really want people to read and understand these creatures…if they don't, then it will feel like I have failed tremendously.
Just so you know, I have a copy of my book for you already – it was the first one they printed, and I requested that they give it to me so that I could give it to you. I don't know when I will be able to visit, but hopefully it will be soon as I miss you (and Queenie, of course). I hope that's not too inappropriate to say.
There's a lot to be done before the book is published – many people are suddenly wanting to ask me questions about it, and though I'm more than happy to discuss my creatures, I can't help but dread these interviews as they seem to be more intent on prying personal information from me. There's also talk of my book being used at Hogwarts, which is wonderful – hopefully the students will learn how to treat these creatures the way they deserve to be treated. I feel oddly proud of that particular achievement.
Pickett has finally stopped sulking, which is good news, but the Niffler broke out and tried to steal my brother's wife's golden earrings. She wasn't impressed, to say the least. The rest of the creatures are fine, though I can't help but feel that the case is empty without Frank. I shall have to find another creature to fill the space, though all of my creatures are irreplaceable.
I hope everything is well for you and Queenie – I even find myself thinking of our old friend, Jacob, often and of his bakery…I do so wish I was there to see it. I even find myself wishing to see him again, for he was a good friend. Do be sure to treat yourself to one of his pastries – I'm sure Queenie is enjoying them immensely already.
Sincerely,
Newt
There were many things that were crossed out that she couldn't read, but she got the general message of the letter. She couldn't help but smile fondly as she re-read what he had written, and for some reason she felt incredibly warm at the thought that Newt had saved the very first copy of his book to be printed just for her.
Though Tina was, undoubtedly, excited to see his book being published and read all over the world, she was far more eager to see Newt himself.
"MR SCAMANDER!" She screams. He looks. She stands. She climbs. She slips. She balances.
"Don't panic!" He calls.
"WHAT DO YOU SUGGEST I DO INSTEAD?!"
He looks at the creature. He makes a noise. The creature swoops and circles. He looks back at her. "Jump…"
She looks. Her courage disappears. She's scared. "Are you crazy?!"
"Jump on him." Serious.
He stands by the edge. The creature swoops. She is frozen.
"Tina, listen to me. I'll catch you, Tina!"
Eye contact. Reassuring. Not reassuring. The potion rises. He disappears.
"I'll catch you. I've got you, Tina."
She wants to trust but she can't. She's going to die. The thick black jaws rise up.
A cry. "Go!"
Trust him. She can't trust him. She can't trust anyone. She barely knows him.
The creature swoops. She doesn't jump.
The potion burns. It engulfs her. She is dead and dying and it's hard to find the breath, his voice is screaming in her ear-
"TINA!"
"Tina! Oh, Merlin…Tina, please wake up!"
It was Newt shaking her awake, she realized, his face alive with fear and trepidation above her; it was early morning in the case, she noted, if the golden light outside was anything to go by.
"Thank goodness you're awake!" He exclaimed, arms tight around her. "You were screaming and crying and…and…" He looked truly terrified. "I wasn't sure what to do."
"I'm fine," Tina assured him half-heartedly, though she couldn't help but lean in closer to him; he was half-dressed, probably about to go out and feed the creatures some breakfast, and his body was warm against her. "Just a…a bad dream."
How ridiculous, Tina thought to herself: the death cell incident had been nearly two years ago, and she was still having nightmares about it, even now whilst travelling with Newt and his case of creatures. She was almost ashamed of how badly it had affected her, even now.
Newt didn't seem too convinced, and his grip tightened on her just a bit. "Tina, love…you can tell me. I won't force you, of course, but I won't judge either if you did want to tell me something."
For a moment, Tina could see herself back in that sterile white room; her hands had been handcuffed, her wand confiscated, and she had been acutely aware of Newt's presence behind her. She had been crying until one of them – Bernadette, she recalled – had pressed the tip of her wand to her head and extracted a long silver memory. She had been so hypnotized that she had lost all other thoughts after that moment.
Suddenly another memory flashed into her mind; she wasn't sitting on that chair anymore, nor was she surrounded by the black death potion – no, she was safe with both feet on the ground, still in that white room but safe because Newt had caught her, just as he promised. He had caught her and held her, and for a long moment they had just gazed at each other. The moment had ended, though, as all moments did, and he had lifted his arm to recall his Swooping Evil (she was suddenly relieved to remember its name) before taking her hand so that they could escape together.
Newt would understand this in a way that Queenie or Jacob or anyone never could; he had been there in that moment, seen her almost die, been about to die himself…and he had rescued her. Despite the fact she had arrested him and gotten him into trouble, he had saved her from death.
She wanted to tell him – he wouldn't judge her too harshly.
"I keep having these awful nightmares about…about that death cell," Tina admitted quietly, involuntarily getting teary-eyed. "I know it was so long ago now, but it's just haunted me since. I keep dreaming that I'm back in that chair, so happy to see my family again and wanting to join them…but then I see the potion and I know I'm about to die…"
"Tina…"
She just shook her head. "You ask me to jump and I…I want to in the dream but I can't do it. I can't trust that you'll catch me, no matter how much I want to. And I can feel the potion as it bubbles up, can feel it burning…"
Newt slowly brushed a stray messy curl from her forehead, expression both sympathetic and utterly horrified. "But I did catch you, Tina. I caught you and we're still alive." He didn't bother mentioning that it was uncertain how much longer they'd still be alive, what with the next war looming, instead choosing to carefully cup her face in his hands. "I promised that I would catch you, and I did."
Tina was trying her best not to cry, but the memory of the death cell was too painful to try and remain strong against – and she knew she could trust Newt. "But that's not the problem…the problem is that I'm too scared to jump. Too scared to trust you…it's stupid to feel so terrified, even now, b-but I can't help it…"
"No," Newt said quite suddenly, and when she looked at him she realized he was gazing at her rather seriously. "It's not stupid to be afraid – fear is natural. Without fear, creatures wouldn't survive – fear is what causes them to run away, to escape from predators or threats. To be honest, I…I…" He swallowed what appeared to be a lump in his throat. "Sometimes I have dreams about it too. If Pickett hadn't been in my coat pocket, o-or if the Swooping Evil hadn't been curled up in my sleeve…I don't know what might have happened."
It had never once occurred to her that he had suffered from nightmares about the death cell too – she had just assumed that he had managed to keep a cool head and was preoccupied by other things after.
"I was scared, Tina," He admitted quietly. "When I told you to jump, I was scared – you were so close to being killed – and I was terrified that I…I wouldn't catch you, no matter how hard I tried. I was scared I'd see you…" He trailed off, eyes somewhat glassy as if he were a world away. "In my nightmares, I don't catch you – you slip through my fingers, as one would say, falling for no reason…and it's my fault…"
For a moment she thought that he might cry – and she couldn't blame him, to be honest – but then he gave her a watery smile, reaching to take her hand.
"But I know that's not true," Newt told her, voice firmer now. His hand squeezed hers. "And you should know it's not true either. Tina, I promised you that I would catch you – and I meant it. I will always catch you."
Tina couldn't help but press herself closer to his body; he was so warm and solid beneath her, so undeniably real and not a dream, that she just wanted to stay like that for as long as she possibly could. "You promise?"
"I promise," He assured her, only slightly uncomfortable by the sudden closeness. "I'll always catch you, Tina…I've got you."
Newt's voice was so calm, so reassuring and insistent, that Tina couldn't help but trust him.
She would trust him with her life.
I hope that the characters weren't too OOC. I think it's pretty believable that Tina would have some kind of trouble trusting people – she seems like the kind to shut people out to protect herself and her sister. Maybe I'm wrong, but that's what I feel about her. Plus, if a man you barely knew suddenly wanted you to leap across a bubbling death potion onto the back of a swooping creature, you'd probably be a bit hesitant too.