Jeez forgot the intro! So your not gonna pee on yourself, but here's my entry! Wildviolet MADE me do iT! Read and Review! (ducks)

Janice & Jimi

Deadliest Catch Executive Producer Tom Beers' Executive Assistant, Janice Laneve looked up from her computer screen at the skinny, twenty something chick, with a green mohawk and multiple painful looking face piercings, who was the webmaster for Deadliest Catch Forum.

'Yah Jimi, what's up.'

Jimi hemmed and hawed. 'Well. . I'm not sure. . you know. . maybe stupid. . .'

"I'm busy here. What's up?' Janice snapped.

Jimi cleared her skinny throat and explained how someone had posted a link to a fan fiction site to the DC forum and how out of curiosity she had checked it out.

'Ah, there's this whole group of chicks writing. . .ahh. . . stories about the Captains and the crews.'

Janet cocked an eyebrow. 'Stories? What kind of stories?'

Jimi actually blushed as she handed her a print out of a 'chapter' from a story by a 'wildviolet', turned and fled.

As Janet read her expression went from mildly curious. . .to an eyes popping, big 'O' mouth. . .to a sputtering, hooting whoop.

'Whoa! Oh shit! An-dee! Ride 'em cowboy!'

She hit the intercom and barked. 'Jimi, get your butt back here!'

The other webmasters for the other Discovery show forums in the crowded tight space looked up with surprise. What was Tom Beers right-hand, aka 'Elvira Mistress of the Dark' doing hollering for Jimi, aka 'Freak Show'for? Jimi was beet red with embarrassment to be the subject of their attention and skulked back out, head down. She was the new girl and for all her attention seeking affectations, was shy and socially awkward. Real awkward. The quintessential introverted computer geek.

When Jimi returned, Janet was fanning herself with the print out, lips parted and breathing shallow.

'Is there more like this?'

Jimi was now so red, her face and hair were clashing, and she looked like a piñata.

'Janet.' She gulped. 'There's hundreds of these stories.'

Janet was enjoying just seeing her squirm. She had been right! It was always the most radical looking ones that were closet virgins. But she quickly got back to business.

'You just got a new assignment and promotion chick-a-dee.'

Jimi blushed even darker yet brightened. 'Really?'

Janet smiled sweetly as she clutched the print out to her breast.

'Oh yes Jimi, you know how much I love initiative, and you showed it big time by bringing me this to my attention.'

She beckoned her closer until she was close enough to grab Jimi by the front of her geeky oversized 'It Must Be User Error' tee.

'Now here's your first assignment, by 5 p.m. tomorrow, I want an e-mail with, oh let's say ten of the 'best of' of these . . .ahem. . . authors on that site. With a summary of how they 'see' their cast member's personalities, physical attributes, and peccadillo's.'

Jimi went so pale, she now looked like a white stalked asparagus spear. 'Physical attributes? Everybody knows what they look like? What do you mean by P-p-eccaidillos?

Janice were narrow as they bored into Jimi's. 'Physical attributes. . .how big they dicks. How they describe their bodies. Peccadilloes? 'How. They. Fuck. If they like it rough, slow and sensual, orgies, young girls, dress-up, anal, whatever. The freaky shit these broads write about.

Jimi mouth got dryer and dryer as Janice continued. 'And when I say 'best', I mean bitches who write like this 'wildviolet'.'

She let her go, and sat back with a big smile. 'That freaky bitch got talent!'

Jimi

She had begged Janice to allow her to do her 'research' from home, and with an eye roll, she had agreed. She had almost fainted with relief. The Discovery webmaster department was one crowded big room, and she would have been mortified if any of her co-workers saw what was on her screen from that fan fiction site. She was no prude, just inexperienced. O.K she was a virgin, and some of the stuff she had read opened up vistas of sexual techniques and experience that had blown her mind. The chapter in 'The Girl Who Got Away' where Sioux and Johnathan got it on for the first time was most instructive. She sighed. If she had a boyfriend he would have had his world rocked this very night.

As she sat propped in bed with her laptop on a pillow, she drank Diet Coke and read story after story. Good Lord! Where did these women get this stuff from? Some of the stories had well developed storylines and complex characterization. Some stories and scenes had her snorting Diet Coke up her nose with shock and laughter. Others used thin storylines to get to the main event of each chapter which they all called 'smut'. Oh it was smut alright, and very well done smut it was! After reading a few different authors, she found herself grinning every time she saw a 'SMUT ALERT' in the author's introduction to the chapter. Damn! She was starting to warm up to her new assignment!

The authors and others on the site reviewed the stories and these reviews were often hysterical. As she read into the night, early and late morning, she had an appreciation and affection for the authors and their works, but the affection made her sorry she didn't have girlfriends like them. What the hell, she thought and joined the site as 'greenminnow' and started leaving reviews. To her surprise her e-mail began to chirp with thanks and welcomes from the authors! And they were really cool!

She felt in some weird way these chicks knew their Captains and deckhands. Although she didn't know any of the cast personally, she had seen and been introduced to most of the Captains when they made their last visit to the Discovery offices in New York, and could well imagine their personalities matched many of the stories. The Captains were waaay older than her and she had never seen them 'in that way' but she could now! After a brief nap, she polished up her author list and summaries and sent her e-mail to Janice at 5 p.m. exactly and finally grabbed some sleep.

IrishCaptain & The Gurls

Earlier that day at the office while doing her usual tweeting with the Fan Fiction gurls, updating her blog, writing some on a story update, and checking out the many sites she had favorite-ed. She saw on the Discovery forum a post that caused her to choke on her fourth cup of coffee of the morning.

'What the fuck?' She sputtered.

Some rat-bastard had posted the fanfiction forum link were she posted DC 'spoilers' No comment just the link! Then some other ass-wipe had posted that her posts were to, be taken with 'a grain of salt'.

'Fuck me sideways! She muttered as she ran to Twitter and tweeted the crisis. She was furiously unlinking all her sites, encouraging everyone else to do the same, as the gurls tweeting back and forth so fast it was a blur of outrage; who was that bitch? when we find her gonna cut her mob mentality, gonna depart FF, as they referred to fanfiction, take our shit down!, until AmethystseaML called for sanity.

Hold up! We gonna let some 'ho run us out of OUR hood?. Hell NO! Let's see how it goes down!

They tweeted their mortification if the any of the DC cast read their stories, and if there was more exposure for their stories, would be a good or bad thing, what would it could mean? Then AmethystseaML started the hilarity with this tweet.

WTF! Good Lord! Can ya see Mike Rowe readin' our shit! ATC: Andy is your schlong really that big?

IrishCaptain tweeted she had spewed coffee all over her keyboard. Cez was laughing so hard her daughter was peeved she was drowning out her Harry Potter movie. One by one the gurls tweeted their LMAO!'s and other hysterical musings. It was a tweeting day for the record book.

Little did this coven of brilliant, talented and dirty minded, super-fans know, this was a day for the record book alright. . .for they had come to the attention of a equally brilliant and dirty-minded chick at Discovery who was gettin' ready to REALLY rock their worlds!