Transparent Emotions

By: Tsubome

Pairing: AkatsukixSakura. You have been warned

Summary[AkatsukixSakura Haruno Sakura. Head medic. ANBU. When she gets sick of everything life throws at her, she decides to go away for a while… to be able to take care of someone else, and to stop having others take care of her.

Disclaimer: Do I look like Kishimoto-sensei? I don't think so. (-.-') Standard disclaimer applied. Constructive crits are accepted. Flames are a waste of your time, so don't bother. I just delete them from my email anyway.

You're weak.

She knew that. She has always realized that it will be the only way they will all see her. She's now an accomplished medic nin. She is also the only person in the village with power equal to the Hokage-sama herself. But nobody ever acknowledged the fact that she has grown up. All everyone saw in her was the very same thing each time: a crybaby who doesn't know how to keep her emotions in check. Or like how a kunoichi should.

She saw those pitying glances her fellow teammates gave her. The way Naruto will put on a fake smile whenever she passed by him. The same way Ino will just ignore her and glance back at her sadly when she thought Sakura wasn't looking. In fact, nobody believes that she can amount to anything anymore.

Even Tsunade-sama rarely asks her to go on those A-ranked missions she undertook like before. And being like that, she stays at the same place, unmoving. Day after day, she walked back and forth from her small apartment to the town hospital.

Not as if, it was bad, in her opinion. She knew how they all felt about her. Yes, even if she is recognized by the elders as one of the top kunoichi. She is now a member of ANBU, and the top medic in the hospital. But she lacked something essential that all the top shinobi possessed. That was to be able to control your emotions.

After everyone realized that, everything faded away. Yes, she's stronger. And she can actually beat one of the ANBU captains if she wanted to. That is, if she didn't crumble down by a single taunt. She just does so even before the real fight will start.

And so, that is the only image she will ever see in herself. The only way everyone will look at her. She's a medic, one who plainly watches from the sidelines. As one who only fights when there was no other choice. As one who only heals others.

Sakura walked while she turned her head back and forth. High bookshelves full of scrolls neatly piled up against each other were positioned on both of her sides. She browsed through them. These tall structures are just one-fourth of the whole directory. That is, the directory of D-rank missions. Mostly those for genin aged fifteen and up. Konoha IS quite big, after all. The number of missions the citizens were giving just for some work off their hands was countless; she knew that.

She was reminiscing all that she has gone through. All that happened ever since she lengthened the distance between her and the people close to her.

She has a stable income that supported her. Hell, she can still survive without it anyway. She's a medic, after all. She can easily live like a hermit and still survive.

She loved everyone. She wanted to believe that she can continue on this kind of life. She had to wait while they all go to dangerous missions and heal them when they arrive. She wanted to be with everyone, to have everyone she knew around her. Yet she also knew that no matter how long this could last, all she will ever accomplish is to lengthen their lives.

She couldn't stand this. Sakura knew that she needed to move on like everyone did. And now, her current dilemma is to find a long enough job, mission, whatever it may be. She needed one that can last her for some time. One that is long enough to let her live under a roof.

Why? For her problem is that she can't find a roof to live in. Her apartment was attacked by some rogue nin the other day. Up to now, people didn't know who the people were. But she couldn't just complain about it without people's opinion of her lowering more and more. So she didn't say anything.

And all that led to her current situation. She is to find a mission that will allow somebody to house her for a little while. She can swallow her pride, anyway. A D-rank mission will suit her just fine. Cleaning houses, babysitting children, they're all fine. Just let li'l old Sakura-chan have a place to stay in.

Just at that exact moment, a certain scroll caught her eye. It has a black outer covering. The black color somehow appeared as if it was glowing. She edged closer. The glowing part of the cover was colored red. Weird.

She wanted to turn around. No, she needed to. But each time she tried to avert her gaze; the glow makes her look back again. She shook her head. No. This might be some weird trap set for weak nin stupid enough to not notice the glow. Though with how obvious it looks like now, the kunoichi doesn't have an inkling on how anybody could.

Her hand reached for it. The glow isn't charka, is it? No, she should have sensed it if it was a long time ago. Yet she's filled with that overwhelming feeling. It's like she wanted to just hold it in her hands.

She wasn't able to resist.

Pein stared out of the one-sided window. The glass was blurry. The reason probably lay on the heavy downpour leaf-gakure has been getting. It was a bad omen. He just felt it that way. And his instincts have never failed him before.

It didn't scare him. But it gave off a strange feeling in his non-existent heart. And it added a slightly bitter taste in his mouth. If one was to count off everything right now, to be exact. Maybe he should also add in that heavy weight in his stomach. Definitely a warning, he mused.

He realized he was thinking too much. He paid more attention to his surroundings. Outside, the rain got louder. The wind was now literally blowing into the window shutters. A storm is coming. He knew that.

He stood up. Walking, he put one hand on the window shutters. He took a glance outside. There's a faint outline of something…someone? He blinked. Sure enough, there is a shadow-like figure walking closer to where he is. He shook his head.

It must be an illusion. The probability of it happening now, of all days, is impossible. But he felt hope at that very moment. At last, after days of waiting for someone to come take his offer…

…the one who accepted it is coming.

He was slowly losing hope of having anybody ever come to the job interview. It's been two weeks, yet nobody still wanted to come. It's as if the selecting jutsu he put on the scroll was working all too well.

Name: Pein. Status: Akatsuki Leader. Current problem: finding a housekeeper for the Akatsuki.

It was not his fault that all the people good enough to enter Akatsuki were all boys. Yes, they're all men. All of them are strong, manly men. Men who were proud of what they are. Men…

…who never had any experience in holding a single knife.

Why, kunai, shuriken, katanas, even large bulking swords (if you'd consider it one) like Samehada are weapons that they can handle with the ease and gracefulness equal to the greatest dancer in Konohagakure herself. Give them a kitchen knife…and they're just as useless as the next four-year old holding their first solid object.

He knows that they needed a housekeeper. They needed someone who can focus their attention on the cooking, household chores, and laundry. They need one who can do those while avoiding wrath belonging to the strongest group in the whole of all the hidden villages combined.

Pein settled for sitting back comfortably in his chair behind the interviewer's table as he looked back at the blurry shape outside the window. All feelings of doubt and insecurity he was going through awhile ago are forgotten. He allowed a rare smile to come to his face.

Type: D-rank

Acceptable to: 16-year old genin and above

Mission: Doing household chores for an apartment. Living accommodations, if any, are provided. Breakfast is at 6:00, Lunch at 12:00 and Dinner is at 7:00. Household chores include:

-doing the laundry

-cleaning

-cooking

Sakura shivered enthusiastically. She shielded the item in her hands from the storm. She didn't want it to be destroyed. Why the storm had to be today, of all days, she didn't know. Nor did she want to.

She pushed further against the strong wind. This job is important to her. The main reason was because it fitted her needs to a T. With this, she can have somewhere to live. At the same time, she wouldn't need to worry about spending the whole day just doing house chores.

She thought that maybe she can convince them to let her go out when she doesn't have to work. That way, she can go to the Hospital whenever she wanted to. She doesn't have much to do there anyway. There are many more medics in there that can do her work. She just has to take care of the house when she is done with her hospice work. It's like a part-time job. Or was it the other way around? She smiled at her thoughts.

She planned it all this way so that she can do everything properly. She desperately needed to balance her schedule. There were times she dragged herself to the Konoha Library just to have something to do, at least. She was bored to death…and she has nothing to do about the situation.

She knocked on the door. Is this the right place? She wondered once again whether she took a wrong turn on her way. This place is located in the middle of a maze-like place filled with dark alleys and tall buildings. And one wall of this place is also resting on the edge of the Konoha border. It was just touching the wall that separates the land from being labeled 'Konoha' and 'forest'. She didn't feel comfortable, either way.

It was as if this place was intentionally hidden.

She hesitated before knocking. Once. Twice. Just when she was about to knock the third time, the door opened. Instead of wood, her hand met the chest of a man. She looked up to see his face. Due to the darkness of the house's interior, all she was able to see were his eyes.

"A-anou… I'm here to accept the mission you have…"

Pein narrowed his eyes. Maybe that selection jutsu wasn't working too well like he'd thought it would. I fact, it seems like its going closer to malfunctioning. There was no way in the name of Hokage he was going to accept that it chose such a weak-looking genin. He doubted she can even survive the first day of the job.

"I see. Please go inside, we still have to discuss your…conditions." He let the door open even wider. It was exposing the scariness of the room. His eyesight didn't fail to deliver the fact that she was shivering. Is it due to the cold…or something else? He chuckled.

Sakura wasn't fazed by the dark at all. There were many times when she had to endure darkness as the Hokage's apprentice. She had seen scarier rooms with even more frightening things contained inside. Yes, the Konoha Hospital isn't just a place for people to rest. And as the top medic, she had to know everything that went on inside it.

She took one step inside the room. Nothing seemed to attack her yet, so she continued walking. She looked around warily. Somebody had warned her that the dark is the best way to attack an unsuspecting shinobi. She shouldn't let her guard down, particularly in these types of places.

The mysterious person held out a chair for her to sit in. The edges of it were pale due to the darkness. She blinked. Her eyes are now getting more accustomed to the dimness of the room. As she looked closer, she was able to recognize the outlines of a desk, (probably for red-eyes man over there) and another chair.

She sat down carefully. She looked around the nearly-empty room. The person in front of her sat down as well. His eyes showed amusement. It may be something near to that, anyway.

"So, I presume you have accepted what I gave? And everything that comes along with it?" His eyes creased to show that he was smiling. She frowned at it. It was the way that he seemed to find her amusing that annoyed her.

"Yes, but I have a few conditions of my own to make along with it." She answered, showing a small grin. She wanted to irritate him somehow. She didn't know how, but she just felt like she wanted to. At her statement she handed him a paper with all her requirements.

Conditions:

To be free to go outside on my other jobs when I'm finished with everything.

To have day-offs on weekends

To be free to speak my mind whenever I want to

To acquire my own room

Pein shook his head after reading the scrap of paper. He knew that odd feeling a while ago had been his instinct acting up on him. It was a warning. It was always like that whenever bad luck came.

He had a suspicion of this possibility. He had always been this right. Today, it served him good. For their first accepter in two weeks, well… he's not allowed to complain now. Who knows how long they will have to wait for a next time?

He twitched. He's trying his best to suppress his feelings. He knew that scaring the poor girl right now isn't the best idea. She might look mature. However, her petite size just accounts for what might be the fragile child within.

Even if she was to work for just one day, it's alright. Just as long as they have someone to fix that considerable amount of trash in the household, he'll go through with anybody. And anyway, the jutsu chose her, right?

"I think all these conditions can be tolerated. Although the day-offs you speak of… We still need someone to cook for us at these times. Maybe you can fit at least an hour of cooking at these day-offs?" He's haggling now, he knew it. Like an old woman at the fruits and vegetables market would.

"I guess so. And speaking my mind isn't going to upset you? Are you quite sure it's okay, then?" The words popped out of her mouth before she realized it. It must have been instinctual for her. Inner Sakura was shouting a few seconds ago that she wants to annoy the guy. Naturally, Outer had to oblige.

"Ah, of course." Pein just wanted to end this now. He felt weird just talking to her. She spelled trouble. At least she seemed smart. He just didn't want to have any other trouble land on him at this moment. His hands are already full as it is.

"So I'm accepted then?" Sakura smiled. She knew he was still deciding on whether to accept her or not. He nodded.

"So…your name is?" His eyes looked directly at hers for a moment. That look sent a shiver to her spine. It was like she was a piece of meat. One that is ready to be used at the fair. Nevertheless, she still smiled. He stopped staring, and coughed.

"Haruno Sakura" She replied without hesitation. The odd aura around both of them from a while ago vanished. He chuckled at her seemingly innocent look. Amusing, indeed.

"Thank you. You are free to go now." She turned around at that moment. She was starting to get annoyed with this creepy place already. Everything just seems to make her get more and more irritated. She started walking forward; her back now turned to the shadow person.

"Oh, and one more thing." He suddenly muttered. He intended for her to hear it. And hear it she did. He head cocked back. Just then, he threw a kunai aimed for her heart.

She readied herself with a battle stance, one that (surprisingly, to Pein) resembled that of the Sannin. She caught the kunai with a single finger. She twirled it around while angrily glaring at him.

"What the heck was that for?!" Sakura's wrath showed evidently on her face. The kunai twirling around on her finger was thrown in the air. She caught it. She then threw it directly at his head.

"Just…testing. I don't want some ninja wannabe going around taking the job without any experience." He smiled at her in that way of his. He caught the kunai just when it was inches from his face. He started twirling it in his finger the exact same way she did moments ago just to spite her.

"Work starts tomorrow. You are to prepare breakfast at the appointed time." When he spoke, his voice was devoid of any emotion. He knew that she just wanted to go now. He'd bet that she was already starting to get downright scared out by everything that went on. She should have thought it all out before going here. Everything ought to have sounded suspicious to her, right?

But in this case, he started to feel happy just knowing that she didn't. After all, he definitely wouldn't be able to survive any longer. Waiting for someone for more than two weeks would be absolutely boring.

It could be described as total torture.

She nodded once. She turned her head. The minute she stepped outside, she faded away with a scatter of cherry blossoms, blowing in the wind.

A/N: Yes, I'm as annoyed as Sakura supposedly is at the moment. I don't know if I told everything right, though. I mean… as in tell how they exactly felt.. I'm not good at writing that way, I know. Wtf… well… look at meh other stories, and you'll see what I'm talking about. I could have just thrown them into that digital trash can and nobody would have noticed. The amount of reviews I received for them can easily cover for my answer, really…

So I guess I'm feeling insecure at the moment. I started this story with NO PLOT AT ALL. I was just reading CiraArana's The Diary (Inuyasha) and Kagome Taisho's Sakuno Chronicles (Prince of Tennis). Just search for those pennames, and yes, I'm recommending them.

Oh, and thanks to meh beta reader Milky Etoile-neechama. I don't know if you have already beta-ed this when I've posted it or not, but thanks anyway. Insert sigh here

Btw, the first part is just an intro. I'm just letting you in on Sakura's mopey-dopey and angsty side. She emotes and goes all "woe is me!!!" speech… or maybe it's just what I think she feels like.

Oh, and something else. None of the Akatsuki is dead in this fic. And the unnamed member is a male. I won't be inserting that person, though. Just hope that you'll understand that. All the ones that I WILL insert are those who we are all familiar with already.

The second chappie is going to be updated on god-knows-when, for I still haven't written it right nao and I'm only using borrowed net time to do so. Our internet connection is the broken right nao. Don't you dare start annoying me about that part or you will feel the same amount of angst I have given Sakura awhile ago to be used on more angst about that situation to you at once. Fear the angst, desu!!!! Ye shall perish once I unleash meh muse, the angst kitties, suu!!!!!!!!!!!!!!