Unfortunately, I claim nothing in Spiderman except for a small role as a fangirl.
He is mad.
He is absolutely over-the-top about to rip his hair out of his head mad.
And she can see it, too, so she decides to keep her mouth shut.
Gwen Stacy stares at the pacing Spiderman and she can tell that behind his mask he's probably biting his lips in an obvious sign of confusion and frustration.
She's biting her lip, too.
She can't help but smile at her position: pinned against the wall with his webbing, looking utterly flustered. It doesn't help that he's looking extremely adorable when he's pacing and muttering to himself like that.
She stops smiling when she sees the face turn towards her.
"You," he starts off, then stops. "You… you're crazy!"
Clearly he doesn't know how to go from there so she tries to give him a helping hand.
"I, erm." She's not much more eloquent, apparently. She bites her lip to stop herself from smiling, then continues. "I'm sorry?"
He stops for one incredulous second, and then lets out a strangled yell. "Gwen!"
She watches, not completely listening, as he rants, his arms moving in a flurry of emotion and his shoulders tense. Her eyes trail up to see the mask, stretching and contracting with each word he speaks. She's imagining his lips again.
She mentally scolds herself.
It's been so long – too long – since she last had a proper conversation with him, talked to him, kissed him, touched his beautiful, beautiful brown hair and seen his amazing smile.
She's imagining him without his mask, imagining his dark eyes and falls into a trance. She quickly notices it doesn't help when the real Peter Parker is waiting for an answer.
"Um, yes?"
"Yes? I ask if you want to get killed and you say 'yes'?"
"No?" At his glare, she gives a more definitive answer. "No."
He continues his rant and Gwen decides she's getting tired because it takes a certain effort to be in this awkward starfish-like position. She cuts him off.
"Peter. It was a complete coincidence – " She ignores his unbelieving splutter and continues. "It was a coincidence that I got caught up in all of this action. Besides, I was surrounded by a million other New-Yorkers. What was the chance the Green Goblin would get me instead of them? Not much."
She knows she's struck a nerve because she knows she's more important to him than everyone else in that terrified mass today.
She doesn't give him time to respond because it's the first time in a good twenty minutes that she's had the opportunity to talk. "I swear it won't happen again. So, if you could just help me out of your webbing, I'll be on my way."
He doesn't know how to respond so he lets her go and she shoots him a smug smirk before sauntering home, feeling particularly victorious.
What maintains her smile throughout her walk home, though, is that she can tell by the tell tale swish of air that Spiderman is watching her until she was safely in her apartment.
Overall, she surmises, today is quite a good day.
She's practically floating to school the next day and she lingers by her locker a bit longer to get a glimpse of Peter Parker. They've progressed so much – so much – that she's determined to take it further. She's sure she can make him crack some time or the other.
It's thoughts like this that leave a funny taste in her mouth, though. It almost feels as though she's betraying her father's dying wish and that Peter is doing the right thing. She doesn't dwell on it because she doesn't know if brushing herself off as the guilty party might lead on to other consequences.
She's realized she's still staring at her locker blankly and rushes off to class when the bell rings, shooting a surprised glance at the empty locker that Peter would usually be awkwardly standing at.
He isn't in his English class, either. She's unnecessarily fretting about New York's biggest superhero and she tunes out of Mrs. Ritter's lecture.
He's not at Chemistry.
Her stomach is lugging this heavy feeling around with her everywhere she goes and she reached into her pocket – twice – to call Peter before getting a hold of herself.
She has free track next and she's out on the field. The weather is especially windy today and it's the perfect atmosphere to read a book.
Her eyes move rapidly from word to word and her mouth quirks upwards at some lines and tips downwards at others. Time passes by and the speed of her eye movements slow down to a stop. She's distracted: she knows she's being watched.
Her eyes trail up from her book to the field, past the hockey players and to that awkward teenager with the battered jacket. Peter. She knows he's watching her.
He is exactly the same, which isn't saying much as she's seen him just a day ago, but Peter Parker was still Peter Parker with his adorably tousled hair and his ever-twitching fingers always fiddling with his camera. She can see his skateboard strapped to his backpack and can almost sense that he's going to ride away from it (and from her) in the span of a second.
She misses the way he thinks she can't see him when he snaps a picture of her (who wouldn't miss the blinding light?) but he's become so wary nowadays that he doesn't even aim the camera lens at her.
Her eyes travel further and further up until they get caught up in the whirlwind of blue – his eyes.
Her heart jumps into her throat at the sudden excitement…
… and out of her body as her eyes trail from her man – her man – to the person next to him.
Mary Jane Watson.
Jealousy shoots up and fills her body, hot and fast, like boiling water. Her eyes narrow as she sees Peter's body turn towards Mary Jane and sees her flip her hair and put an arm on his shoulder.
Her eyes become blurry as he embraces the figure and she gets up and leaves.
She doesn't notice a pair of eyes following her hasty retreat.
The next day at school might have been the worst ever. There's a fresh piece of gossip about that Parker boy and Mary Jane Watson getting together.
She's in English class and she notices that the two of them are sitting together, Mary Jane looking much more interested than Peter is. To her utter horror, she realizes the only seat left (she's usually not this late to class, but she couldn't come in early to see the lovebirds flirting today) is right in front of them. In front of Peter.
She sits down awkwardly and swallows as she catches wisps of their conversation. It makes her sick, the way Mary Jane doesn't know Peter like she does. It makes her sick when Mary Jane proposes that they go down to a really cute boutique she knows for a little shopping (Peter hates that) and at his refusal, suggests that they go to Oscorp to meet Mary Jane's friend. Peter hastily agrees to go to the boutique and Gwen knows he's looking at her.
They haven't talked about her father (they haven't talked much at all). Peter hasn't mentioned his promise made to her father and she refrains from thinking about her dad because it hurts too much to breathe when she does.
She catches herself thinking about him anyway.
Mrs. Ritter comes in and the class starts. Gwen almost throws up when the topic of discussion goes to character development and Mrs. Ritter mentions a specific type of character development: restraints.
"… such as expectations to live up to standards, or promises. Some restraints can really develop a character and the way they think. They also influence the characters around them. Anybody care to give an example of a character restraint?"
It is the first time ever Gwen doesn't raise her hand.
Neither Gwen nor Peter participate the whole class and she's sure the way everyone notices how teary-eyed she is when she rushes from the classroom at the end of the period.
She goes home early because she can't stand to be in school.
Flash is incredibly comforting when he wants to be. He hasn't fully forgiven her for embarrassing him that one time in front of the crowd after he beat up the "Parker idiot", but he claims that he can't do anything about it because he can't hit a girl. Gwen believes it might be because he has a heart.
Nobody knows the whole story of what happened between her and Peter, and Flash is definitely no exception. He's trying to make do with all the bits and pieces of information but all he's gathered from her is that Peter's too scared of commitment. She doesn't know to what extent that is true.
Study sessions are quite a joy to both parties. He tells her a lot about what's going on with his life (this new freshman is his new chew toy) and she tells him what's going on with hers (she's thinking of taking an internship at her aunt's hospital). It's usually at her place because his has too many clothes on the floor and she can't fit into the room without gagging on the smell.
He's splayed out on her bed (she's given up on trying to convince him to stay off it) and he's absently flicking through the pages of his Chemistry book.
She glances at him from her position on her table. "Flash, do you understand the difference between the four different sub-shells of an atom yet?"
His answer was less than convincing: "Um, yeah." There's something offsetting about his answer because he's usually more focused than this and tries his hardest. He wants to be in the military and he has to maintain at least a C average. So, she asks him what's wrong.
He's fiddling with her pink bear that her brothers had got her for Christmas and he sets it down before turning to Gwen.
"Mary Jane's dating that Parker boy."
Gwen swallows. "I'm aware…" She stares at him expectantly and he squirms a little under her gaze.
"And…" he hesitates. "I don't want her to. I – I mean, she's pretty, and Parker's not, and she deserves a real man, not him, and she's really pretty, so I don't know what he sees in him, and yeah."
Gwen ignores his jabs at Peter because a smile is forming on her face. Flash likes Mary Jane.
"Flash," she teases. "You like her, don't you?"
He vehemently denies it before his spluttering came to a stop at her knowing look. He glares at her. "I thought you'd be upset over this. I thought Parker was your guy."
"He's not exactly mine…"
"He's been yours since kindergarten when he threatened to beat me up for pulling your ponytail."
She laughs at the memory; she was the one that ended up kicking Flash (he was called Eugene then) for punching Peter.
He gives her a half-smile before he's back to fiddling with her teddy. "I just don't like it. At all."
She closes her eyes for a brief second before she turns back to her desktop computer. She fiddles with her mouse for a second before opening her mouth. "Sometimes, things aren't meant to be, you know? And you can't do anything about it. You've just got to let go." Flash doesn't look too impressed, and she ploughs on. "But some things… They're supposed to happen and you know they're supposed to happen. You just do. You've got to give it your all and when there's nothing left to give, it'll happen if it's meant to be. Just wait and see, you'll end up with someone who loves you for who you are."
He gets up abruptly and walks over to her. He pulls her into a hug and he murmurs in her ear that Parker will come back to her and she's suddenly crying.
They're like that for a while before she gently pulls away and kisses his cheek. He blushes and then threatens to beat her up if she tells anyone he's blushed. She laughs and promises not to tell.
Gwen suspects that she sees a swish at her window but when she turns, there's nobody. But she knows he's been there and the despair comes back, hard and fast. She cuts the tutoring short.
They go home, neither of them feeling better, but feeling better knowing that they weren't the only one's feeling depressed.
Gwen keeps promising herself that things are about to improve while she sits at her balcony and waits for the man in a spandex to come and sweep her off her feet. It never happens.
Gwen's dreams are always fitful, and this one's no exception.
He's fighting the Green Goblin and she's screaming because Spiderman's about to lose and she sees the Green Goblin slash at his chest.
She feels sick.
The action is coming closer and closer to her and she's frightened. Just as the Green Goblin reaches for her –
– she's whisked away by Spiderman. Her hands reach forward and touch his face, but the second she feels the rough texture of his mask under her skin she's dropped.
She's freefalling hundreds and thousands of feet and in the distance she can see Spiderman holding Mary Jane close, kissing Mary Jane, saving Mary Jane and it's like she's forgotten.
He turns his head towards her one last time and yells out: "I'm not breaking the promise."
She's crying as he continues. "Stay away from me. Never talk to me again."
She knows she's about to hit the bottom…
"Never again, Gwen!"
" – Peter!" Her hands are reaching towards him desperately and her eyes are wide and tear-filled but he doesn't notice because he's swung off into the distance with Mary Jane in his arms.
She can't help but notice that it was supposed to be the two of them flying off together before she hears a dull thud.
She's awake, screaming and crying. Her mother is out with her brothers at their grandmother's, so she's here alone.
She doesn't want to be alone.