Title: Sweet Dreams, Young Lovers
Rating: Mature
Main Genre: Romance
Pairing: ShinjixRei
Summary: (crossover) A hundred years after the Coralians ceased contact of the fifth kind, carving the legend of RxE upon the surface of the moon, a new Coralian girl is unearthed by Nerv. What does this organization want with Shinji Ikari, and the other children of fate? SxR. OoC. Lime Lemon.
Notes: My Second Fanfic. An outlet for the lemonade in my head, and an honest attempt at an entertaining story & plot with Lime(s), and eventually Lemon(s). This is a crossover fic, so there will be obvious, but (i think) interesting OoC. PLEASE Read&Review ! Flamers welcome, trolls as well – but beware of Big Billy Goats.
WARNING: For non-eva characters, I'll use names from Eureka 7, probably as descendants of your/my favorite E7 characters.
Disclaimer: Eureka Seven. Directed by Tomoki Kyoda. Written by Dai Sato. Character Design by Kenichi Yoshida. Animation Production by Bones. Neon Genesis Evangelion. Directed and Written by Hideaki Anno. Character Design by Yoshiyuki Sadamoto. Animation Production by Gainax. I own nothing.
Key:
Word = text
"Word" = speech
'word' = thoughts
word = misc. details
Word = titles, headings, etc.
- = narrative break, change in scene, etc.
[A Classified] Prologue
Date: 1/01/90/4 [by the Vodarac Calender]
Location: Terminal Dogma. Gehirn Headquarters, 2nd branch. Ciudades del Cielo.
Experiment: 00LS08SUI
Description: Gehirn Lead Scientist, Yui Ikari, authorized attempt to establish contact of the fifth kind with the re-emerged Command Cluster through synchronizing with Artificial Coralian Provisional-type Evangelion Unit-00.
Transcript:
[00:01:53] Experiment begins
Tech. 1: Specs green. Establishing link. Eva fully functional.
Tech. 2: Plug inserted. LCL concentration within the acceptable range. Pilot submerged and fully monitored. Awaiting command.
Dr. Akagi: What is a child doing here?
Sv. Fuyutsuki: That is the Commander's child.
Dr. Akagi: Someone needs to tell the Commander that this lab is not his daycare.
Dr. Ikari: Sorry, Naoko. I brought him.
Dr. Akagi: Ah. . .but Yui, this is your experiment.
Dr. Ikari: That is why I brought him. I want Shinji to see the bright future we're creating for him and for all mankind. One where man can truly understand the Scub Coral, and perhaps even each other.
Com. Ikari: The Coralians' collective consciousness allows for the alleviation of fear and worry, and along with them suffering. There is something to learn from the Scub Coral, and perhaps to envy.
Dr. Ikari: –and yet the Scub Coral contacted us. They too believe that man has something to teach them. Dr. Akagi, let's begin.
[00:15:03] Unit-00 makes contact with the Command Cluster in Central Dogma.
Tech. 1: Unit-00 entering the Zone. Expression: Impossible. The Laws of Physics have broken down!
Dr. Akagi: Be calm, this is all part of the Magi's calculations.
Sv. Fuyutsuki: Are we sure that incomplete system it correct?
Dr. Akagi: The holes in the Magi system were compensated by the calculations of Dr. Ikari and myself. The Commander approved.
Com. Ikari: Yui, can you hear us?
Dr. Ikari: I'm here, Commander. Decrease the concentration of the LCL, and increase plug depth.
Tech. 2: Unit-00 can no longer be monitored. It's rejecting the signal!
Dr. Akagi: Start from sequence 202. Send the signal again!
Tech. 1: It's not accepting the command! Both Unit-00 and the pilot have passed the Zone!
[00:16:22] Unit-00 and its pilot theoretically enter the Command Cluster.
[-] Records Lost.
[01:01:43] Command Cluster ceases activity.
Tech. 1: Trapar interference decreased. Monitors back online, connection with Unit-00 re-established.
Com. Ikari: What is the status of the pilot?
Tech. 2: Negative. Plug cannot be monitored.
Dr. Akagi: Prompt Unit-00's Absolute Trapar Field to map its surroundings. Can we identify any corporeal Coralian presence?
Tech. 1: AT field expanded. Unit-00 is responding.
Com. Ikari: Confirm neural connection with the pilot.
Tech. 2: Neural connection confirmed. Synch ratio at 250%.
Dr. Akagi: Impossible!
Tech. 1: AT field is unable to detect any Coralian presence. The pattern keeps shifting from Orange to Blue.
Sv. Fuyutsuki: Human?
Tech. 1: The Command Cluster is active! The Laws of Physics are altering again!
Tech. 2: Unit-00 has gone berserk! Synch ratio reaching 400%!
Com. Ikari: Yui!
[01:05:00] Command Cluster stays active for 1246 seconds (20 minutes 46 seconds)
[1:25:56] Unit-00 emerges on this side of the Zone.
[1:10:07] Confirmed: Pilot Dr. Yui Ikari has vanished from inside the entry plug.
[-] Records lost.
[3:58:05] Humanoid Coralian discovered in the geo-sphere above Terminal Dogma.
Dr. Akagi: My God. . .
Com. Ikari: God is dead. This girl is the priestess not of God, but of the Scub Coral.
Team A Leader: Commander, there is something else in the rock connected with the Scub Coral.
Com. Ikari: She is the successor to the throne.
Team A Leader: Commander, in the rock–
Sv. Fuyutsuki: Take the pictures. Record the data. Compile and Collect. This is no time for petty discovers.
Team A Leader: Sir, Unit-00 is–
Dr. Akagi: Commander Ikari! Supervisor Fuyutsuki! There's an Evangelion embedded in the rock of the Scub Coral!
[4:44:06] Commander of Gehirn confirms the existence of second, non-man-made Evangelion.
[-] Records Lost.
[12:45:46] Humanoid Coralian makes contact with the unearthed Evangelion –Codename: Eva Unit-01.
Dr. Akagi: It's moving. . .the Coralian can synchronize with the Eva without the aid of an Entry Plug.
Sv. Fuyutsuki: Is it possible that the Coralians have sent us an answer?
Dr. Akagi: Professor Fuyutsuki. . .
Sv. Fuyutsuki: We sent the Command Cluster an Artificial Coralian and a pilot, in accordance with the Ageha Project Myth. Is it not in the realm of possibilities that the Scub Coral sent us an Artificial Human and a pilot for it?
Dr. Akagi: Then Unit-01 is human?
Sv. Fuyutsuki: These are questions for the Commander of Gehirn. Dammit Ikari, you can't run away now. . .
START TODAY
There was a screeching feedback for a few seconds. "A state of emergency has been declared for the region. Several Kute-class Coralians have been detected. Proceed to the nearest emergency center to receive further instruction. Repeat. . ."
Most of the citizen's had already deserted the streets of Ciudades del Cielo, the metropolis of The United Vodarac Socialist Republic. Those who remained– the high priests and dedicated layman of the church– weren't likely to head for shelter. So, it would seem, the announcement was meant for one boy.
The phone line automated message: "All normal lines are out of order due to the state of special emergency." The boy hung up the phone, looking up and down the deserted street. "Out of order," he heard what sounded like thunder from a far off hill. ". . .I shouldn't have come."
For the 100th time that day, he looked down at the postcard with the picture of a twenty-something, very attractive woman by the name of Misato Katsuragi. The photo was scribbled on, and a large arrow pointed toward the woman's bust.
Dear Shinji-kun. Because I'll come to meet you, wait for me, please. Attention to here!
The boy let out a large sigh. "I may not be able to meet her." Once again, he looked up and down the street. "I can't help it. . .I'll go to the shelter."
Just then, something caught his eye. But it couldn't be– it couldn't have been. For a moment, he had seen a girl, or maybe a female phantom. She had blue hair and bright eyes, though he couldn't be sure they were red. She was about his age.
Before he could take account of himself, a blue car pulled up in front at him, hitting the curb at a smooth 40 mpk.
Misato Katsuragi opened the passenger door, "Sorry to have kept you waiting."
From the monitors in the UN Force office, located inside Nerv HQ, three gentlemen dressed in military uniform wait to view the Kute-class phenomenon, and begin to talk amongst themselves.
"Sir," the female technician began, "the trapar is gathering around its center of gravity."
Another male tech. interjected, "We've got the visual image of the target. I'll transfer it to the main screen."
"It must be 100 years," commented an elderly gentlemen to his sitting companion.
"Certainly," without raising his head, the stoic man, wearing tinted glasses, replied. "Coralians."
"My god," the first military dressed general stood from his seat, "those are anti-body Coralians!"
"Impossible!" The second outraged, "There are thousand–no, maybe hundreds of thousands. The city won't survive the hit."
"Total war! Mobilize all LFO squads!"
"Don't hold back! Smash the target at any cost!" Everyone, save the elderly gentlemen and his companion, watched in horror as the missiles, lasers, and LFOs collided with the anti-body Coralians. Wave after wave destroyed their targets, but there was no end in sight.
"Fools!" the first shouted, "Tell them to pull back the LFOs– at this rate, we'll have none left."
"Such outdated weapons," the sitting gentlemen spoke to the senior, who replied: "–they had little effect 100 years ago. They will do nothing against the Coralians now."
A phone rings, and the final military man, who had remained silent till now, answered. "Yes, sir . . .as previously arranged. Well, Ikari," the man stood as he hung up the phone. "You are in charge of this operation from this moment."
"Yes," Gendo Ikari replied as he stood in attention before the three sub-commanders.
The first sub-com. who had spoken looked down in contempt. "I will admit that are current weapons are insufficient for dealing with the current threat."
The second sub-com. continued, "The LFOs were are trump card, yet none have been unearthed for over fifty years, and there have been no advances made in their design since the Thurston-line died out."
The Commander in Chief interrupted, voicing what they were all thinking, "But are you confident of defeating it?"
"Nerv," Ikari replied, adjusting his glasses, "exists for that purpose." Ikari turned on the spot, and descended down the automized elevator. "Vice Commander Fuyutsuki, I'll leave this to you."
The elderly man nodded, and if speaking to himself said, "There first meeting in three years."
"Umm... Ms. Kasturagi" The boy had sat in silence for the full hour drive. She had tried to ask about his trip to Ciudades del Cielo, and explained some of the oddities of this new capital in hopes of starting a conversation, but he wasn't biting.
"Yes, Mr. Ikari?"
"Ah," the young Ikari had been caught off guard by her overly formal response. "Well, I was just– hmph. . .do you work for my father?"
"That's right, I'm a special United Federation operative employed by Nerv. You're father is the Commander of Nerv. Don't you know this?"
The boy looked around the outside of the car. They were on some kind of giant escalator that lead underground. "I didn't," he said gruffly.
"You know, you're more serious than I'd thought, despite your cute face."
A little embarrassed, and already upset at being dragged around for an hour, he retorted, "Yeah, well you seem childish yourself...for U.F. officer."
"What was that!" Misato ruffled the boy's hair, who immediately began pushing away.
"C'mon, Ms. Katsuragi–"
The woman stopped, and laughingly cut in, "Call me Misato."
"Ah, right. Mi–umm, Ms. Misato. Me, too. You should call me, Shinji."
"By the way, Shinji," Misato ignored the 'Ms.', "did your father send you an I.D.?"
"Oh, yes. Here it is." Among the papers he held, Misato noticed one that was marked up, crumpled, torn and generally abused. She could only make out five words: two at the top and three at the bottom.
Ikari Shinji. Come, Ikari Gendo.
"Er, right. Well, start reading this." Misato held out a small book. TOP SECRET: Welcome to NERV.
"It's about my father's work. . .is that why I was called?" Misato didn't answer. Technically, Shinji wasn't apart of Nerv, yet; she thought he shouldn't be troubled with these things, unless absolutely necessary. "Right, what am I saying? He wouldn't write to me unless he needed me."
"You don't get along with your father, eh?" Misato spoke more to herself than to Shinji, "like me. . ."
Just then, the closed escalator shaft opened to reveal windows overlooking a wide expanse of vegetation and oddly shaped facilities– the most prominent of which was a large pyramid. Shinji was filled with awe.
"That's right, Shinji. This geofront is our secret base, Nerv HQ. It's also the foundation for rebuilding the world that was lost to us, and the fort for the Command Cluster." Shinji was puzzled at these words, and decided to actually read the Nerv Introduction Guide.
Announcement sounded over the speakers of Nerv HQ: "Chief Scientist of Project E at Section 1 Technical Department, Dr. Ritsuko Akagi, Dr. Ritsuko Akagi. Please contact Captain Misato Katsuragi at Section 1 of Operation Department immediately."
A blonde woman emerged from a pool of yellow liquid , filled to the midway point of what might have been an LFO. She had a cold face, but she was not un-beautiful. "Lost again?"
After a 23 hour train ride from his teacher's house, a five hour wait in the city, and a two hour car ride to the geofront, and another hour's wait wondering Nerc HQ, Shinji Ikari was walking behind two women, who seemed to know each other, on his way to he didn't know what.
"So, how is Unit-01?" Misato asked.
"It is outfitted with B type equipped, and is frozen in cryo-stasis."
"It hasn't functioned without her before. . .will this really work?" Shinji vaguely noticed that Misato looked back at him.
"The possibility of it working is 0.000000001%. We just call it the 09-system."
"So that means it's impossible."
"No," the Doctor firmly objected, "It isn't zero. . .Here we are." The company of three entered a large room. Shinji might have thought it was some kind of warehouse, but it was too dark to see.
The door behind them shut, cutting off the only source of light. "huh, what?" Shinji wasn't really paying attention before, and started panicking. "It's pitch blac–Ah!"
Light went up, and Shinji saw that he was on a metal bridge, to the right of which was a large metal face. "A–a LFO!"
"You won't find this in the manual, Shinji Ikari." Shinji directed his attention to the blonde scientist. "This is the Multi-purpose Humanoid, mechanized machine: Evangelion."
"This is my father's work?"
"That is correct." Shinji Ikari looked up to a windowed room overlooking the hanger, and saw his father for the first time in three years. "Sally."
"Wait! Unit -00 is still in lockdown." A look of comprehension dawned on Misato's face. "You can't mean to activate Unit-01 with Rei! She can't pilot it in her condition!"
"There is no other choice. She will not be alone."
"The synchronization of two pilots in the entry plug has never been tested! We don't even have a second pilot!"
"Incorrect, Captain," the blonde doctor looked at Shinji. "One has just been delivered."
"You're," Misato was both shocked and angry, "serious."
"Shinji Ikari," began Dr. Akagi, "you will pilot Unit-01."
"This is insane! For anyone other than Rei, it would take months–"
"He just has to sit in it. We don't expect any more than that."
"–Father!" Shinji was almost in tears. The gravity of the situation broke through all at one point. He felt as if he might break into a million pieces with each passing moment. "Why did you call me here?"
"It is for the reason your thinking."
"What are saying? I thought you didn't want me? Isn't that true, father. . ." Shinji's voice softened in frustration.
"I called you because I have a use for you."
"Why me?"
"It is impossible for anyone else."
"It's impossible for me!" Why couldn't his father understand? "Why are you saying I can do it?"
"You will be instructed. You will have help."
"I can't. It's impossible, right?"
"If you will, then stop wasting time. Otherwise, go!"
Again, the announcement speaker blared, "The last Kute-class is expanding. Anti-body Coralians entering the capital!"
"They've located us," murmured Gendo.
"Shinji," the Doctor demanded his attention, "we have no time."
Shinji looked to Misato, desperate for someone to understand– to sympathize– to pity him. 'Please. . .'
"Get in."
"After coming all this way. . ." Shinji held himself, as Misato bent down to look Shinji in the eye.
"Why did you come here, Shinji?" Misato's tone was gentle, but her words hit Shinji like a wall of bricks. "Don't run away: from your father, above all from yourself."
"I understand that! But I can't. . ."
'Dammit,' Gendo thought, 'It has to be him.'
"Fuyutsuki," the Commander ordered, as the V.C. appeared on the screen at his side. "Wake up Rei."
Fuyutsuki looked doubtful. "Can we use her?"
"She's not dead yet." The screen displayed: Audio Only. "Rei."
"Yes." Shinji heard the frail voice.
"The spare is useless. You will pilot it alone."
"Yes," the soft voice answered again.
Dr. Akagi immediately took handle of the situation. "Reconfigure Unit-01 for Rei alone!"
'I knew it,' Shinji sulked, 'he doesn't need me after all.'
Com. Ikari turned off the two-way communication, so that his following words couldn't be heard by anyone other than V.C. Fuyutsuki. "Make sure Rei is brought through the hanger, not straight to the prep. area."
Time passed quickly, as orders were shouted through speakers, and Misato moved from one end of the hanger to the other, always staying near enough to Shinji so that he could see her, but not telling him to leave or move or do anything. No one would tell him what to do. He couldn't move, he couldn't cry, he couldn't–
'What's that sound?' Shinji looked up to see a hospital bed being wheeled across the bridge. It was headed towards him, and there was a girl lying on it. She looked vaguely familiar, but they couldn't have possibly met before. She must be: Rei.
"Wait. . ." Shinji meant to speak boldly, but it came out as more of a whimper. "Wait," he said it loud enough for Misato to hear, but no one seem to understand what he meant. "I said WAIT, dammit!" Shinji had stopped the cart carrying Rei, and looked up furiously at his father.
"We don't have time for a child's temper tantrum." Com. Ikari directed the nurses to move one. "Take him away."
"Father! You can't have her pilot! She's hurt."
"It doesn't concern you. Leave!" Shinji was about to comeback when the speaker sounded an alarm.
"Commander," a female voice yelled, "they're dropping an N2 mine!"
"Impatient bastards. Shinji, hold on!" Even as Misato said it, the shock rocked headquarters.
Instinctively, Shinji grabbed onto Rei, who was falling onto the floor as the quake knocked the cart off balance.
"Shinji, no!" A loose beam had dropped from the ceiling and was about to fall on Shinji and Rei. Suddenly, Unit-01 brought its hand up out of the red liquid and placed it over the two bodies, protecting them from the falling beam.
'What!' Misato and Ritsuko thought in unison. 'But there's not one controlling it!'
Shinji had seen what had happened, but was distracted by the shrieks of pain coming from the girl in his arms. He felt something pour from her wounds, and saw his hand as it was bathed in her blood .
'I mustn't run away, I mustn't run away. I mustn't run away. I mustn't run away. I mustn't run away.'
"I'll do it!" Unseen by Shinji, the Commander gave a devious smile. "I'll pilot the Eva."
Kids Are Alright
"As of this moment, Captain Katsuragi, as Director of Operations, is in charge. I trust you will handle the situation?"
Misato Katsuragi looked up into her stoic Commander's face with the utmost air of confidence. She saluted, and the Commander left the operations deck. 'I feel sick. Letting his own son come in contact with the Zone, and then running off.'
"First Lieutenant Ibuki," Dr. Akagi continued to ready the Eva, "give the order to release the restraints on Unit-01."
"Yes, Ma'am." Maya Ibuki was almost as sick as Misato at the thought of sending these two out in the Eve; but years of training– not to mention her devotion to Dr. Akagi– had allowed her to push her conscious into a corner, and allow her fingers to follow simple commands.
"Lieutenant Aoba!" the Captain gave her first command, "Put the Kute-class up on screen."
"Yes, ma'am."
"Hyuga," continued Misato, "how long do we have before the anti-body coralians break through the outer defenses and breach the Geosphere?"
"That is irrelevant," the Vice Commander had just entered the command bridge and spoken loud enough to be heard over Dr. Akagi's rapid instructions.
"Sir," Misato urged, "with all do respect, I am charge with protecting the Command Cl–"
"You are charged with Commanding the operations that serve Nerv's objectives," Fuyutsuki interjected, putting extra emphasis on the next 7 syllables: "Op-er-a-tions-Com-man-der Katsuragi."
"The main objective of this exercise, as you well know Captain," Dr. Akagi clarified, "is for Unit-01 to enter the zone. Th–"
"But if the coralians come in contact with the Command cluster it could awake, and the limit of questions may be breached!" Misato, along with the three Lieutenants, were looking for nods of agreement, or some sign of recognition that Captain Katsuragi was completely in the right.
None came.
"Time is on screen, Commander," Hyuga broke the silence: "00:20:01:85 and counting."
"Right," Misato checked herself. 'An attack on the Command Cluster caused that instance 100 years ago. Officials documents say that the Coralians reappearance would threaten to awake the dormant Command Cluster and thus surpass the Limit of Questions. Is it all lie? And why the hell is it so important for those two kids to enter the Zone together?'
"Ma'am," demanded Maya of Dr. Akagi, "the pilots are seated within the entry plugs: ready for insertion."
"Fill the plug," ordered Dr. Akagi.
"–First," Misato interjected, "Connect me with the pilots."
"Yes, Ma'am."
"Shinji? Can you hear me?" Shinji Ikari was sitting in the plug with his eyes close. For the past ten minutes he had been separating himself from the reality of what was happening. 'It just has to be this way. There's nothing you can do. Listen. Do what they say. . .I wonder if Father will be watching– What is going to happen. I don't know.'
"Shinji! Pay attention!"
"Uh, right–Wait, what's happening?" A yellow liquid had begun to fill his plug, and he had to hold his breathe as it filled up above his head.
"You just have to relax," explained Dr. Akagi, "once the LCL fills you lungs it will oxygenate you blood directly."
Shinji allowed himself to breathe in the slimy liquid. "I think I'm gonna be sick."
"Quit Whining!" Misato directed the entry plugs to be inserted into the Eva. Though it could operate perfectly well with a single plug, unlike Unit-00, Unit-01 had been discovered with an archetype design which made it optimal for two pilots in separate plugs. The official NERV documents claimed that the feature had never been intended for use, and that Unit-01 was designed intentionally as a "Test Type".
"What is it now!" A spectra of colors, shapes, and odd images flashed before Shinji's eyes. For a second, his eyes were so strained that he thought he might go blind. Then, just like that, it was over. His surroundings– what was once the metallic casing of the plug– become altered.
For one thing, he could see outside of the Eva. He seemed to see from the perspective of the Eva's eyes, but he couldn't be sure, since it seems that he could see what was behind him as well. But even more startling was the appearance of the blue haired girl, Rei Ayanami, only a few feet away from him. She had the same metal contraption at her arms and feet as he did, but every time he tried to see exactly how she was next to him his eyes became strained. She was so close. So close, he could reach out his hand and tou–
"Shinji," Misato's voice caused Shinji to retract his hand, "keep your hands to your self."
"B-But-t-t, How is she–"
"It's called synchronization," Dr. Akagi began. "Your mind, as well as Rei's, are sychronized with the Eva right now. The higher the synch rate, the better you'll be able to pilot, and see each other. Rei isn't really there, it's a projection created by your mind. And touching such an image could case extreme damage to your psyche."
"Ok," Shinji didn't understand at all.
"Don't worry about it," Dr. Akagi resumed. "All you have to do is move Unit-01 using the controls in front of you. In theory, Rei's thoughts on how to pilot, and what to do, should be translated into the Eva and– through synchronization– into your mind. That way, you shouldn't have a problem with inexperience."
"In theory," Shinji repeated the only two words he paid attention to.
"Well," Dr. Akagi admitted, "This type of synch-theory has never been put into practice. Don't worry, Shinji. . .just let it come naturally."
"Right, then," Misato said before Shinji could lose any more confidence, "Launch the Eva!"
Before the Eva reached ground level, Com. Ikari had returned to the bridge, allowing Captain Katsuragi to stay in control of the operation, while he watched from the tower seat. The Vice Commander at his side: the two men stood in silence as the Captain and Dr. Akagi explained the basic controls of the eva to Shinji.
'What are you thinking, Ikari?' The Vice Commander had as much doubt in the operation as Misato.
Meanwhile, Shinji felt his heart racing, and his muscle tense. Even before he had done anything, he felt something in his head. Not a voice, or even a feeling– it was a force. Something, he was sure, would take control of his movements. He would know what to do and how to do it.
Suddenly, the skyline was visible as Unit-01 reached the surface, and Shinji was stunned by the destruction created by the Coralians. But that only captivated him for a moment. His eyes followed the destruction to the horizon and terror gripped him. How could there be so many? And what was that spherical mass they orbited?
"Shinji," Dr. Akagi's voice brought him back, but Shinji could still fear the fear penetrating his senses. "Try walking."
"R-right," he stammered. And just like that, as Shinji knew it would, the force made his limbs move, and with them the Eva began to move forward.
"He's doing it!" exclaimed Misato. As Shinji moved to take his third step, he heard a small voice cry out. He looked to his side, and saw the blue haired pilot cringing in pain. The movement of the Eva had re-opened her wound. What was worse, Shinji lost concentration, and the Eva miss stepped, and stumbled to the ground.
"Trapar increasing," shouted Lieutenant Ibuki. "Anti-body coralians closing in!"
"Shinji, no!" Misato watched helplessly as the coralians swarmed around Unit-01. The force at which the trapar spun through the swirl of the monstrous creatures lifted Unit-01 off the ground. The Eva was being thrown around the coralian swarm like a chew toy.
"Umbilical chord has been cut," Hyuga reported, "Eva has 59 seconds left of power!"
"The armor is taking hits," Lieutenant Aoba continued, but he was cut off by Misato.
"What's the status of the pilots?"
"Synch rate is on the border line, but vitals are within acceptable range," answered Maya.
"The armor will hold," picked up Dr. Akagi, "it was specially designed to withstand the unique nature of the anti-body coralians. Shinji, you need to draw your progressive knife. It should cut through their bodies easily."
There was no answer from either pilot. "Put the entry plug on screen," ordered Misato.
"Cameras damaged," Aoba explained, "we only have audio in Shinji's, but video and audio are functional in Rei's. Putting it on screen." The bridge saw blood muddying the LCL, and saw that Rei's wound at her side was the source. It was only slightly open, but it had been seeping blood for some time, and the Eva's erratic jostling was only doing more damage to her cracked ribs and broken arm.
"Shinji, answer us dammit! You know the controls, pull the switch by the right hand trigger, and draw your knife." The bridge could hear Shinji's grunts of pain, and even a slight whimper in his throat.
"20 seconds of power left!"
"Shinji, do it!"
"What's that?" Dr. Akagi directed everyone's attention to Rei's entry plug. Something was intruding through the wall of the entry plug. It was strange sight to the bridge, but Dr. Akagi soon recognized what was happening. "Shinji, don't!"
"What's going on!" raged Misato.
"Shinji is crossing the ego-barrier, contamination imminent!" Lieutenant Ibuki voice shook with fear.
"Shinji pull back, and follow orders!" Misato watched as the clock continued to decrease from 10 seconds.
"A-ayanami," Shinji's voice trembled, and they could tell that his whole body and soul was overwhelmed. "is. . .hurt."
"You can't help her unless you get out of there!"
"Unit-01 has 3 seconds left of power!" It was too late– many things happened at once. The coralians ceased their swarm, and let the Eva drop over 6 stories to the ground. Unit-01 lost all power and the bridge could no longer see anything going on inside the entry plug. Before the video feed cut out, they saw an insubstantial Shinji entering Rei's entry plug– a flash of light, then nothing.
"Eva has ceased all functions," reported Hyuga. "Coralians have broken through to the last five layers of armor."
Misato's mind was in a panic. She overrode her concern for Shinji, and managed to plan the next move. "Prepare to issue emergency counter measures. Blow the restraints to quadrant 8, we need to retrieve the Eva at all costs."
"Wait!" Maya demanded, "Instruments are coming back online. Unit-01 is reactivating!"
"That's impossible!" Misato looked to the screen and saw Unit-01 come to its feet, as hundreds of anti-body Coralians came rushing back to attack their threat.
"It's happening," the Vice Commander spoke quietly to Ikari.
"As was planned."
"What do you think the old men will do about this?"
"Irrelevant."
"AT field is expanding." The whole bridge was captivated by the screen. "Trapar is gathering around Unit–no, the trapar is being generated by Unit-01!"
"Analyze the Kute-class," Dr. Akagi leaned over Maya's shoulder, "tell me what's happening."
"Data gathering. . ."
On the screen, the bridge watched as waves and waves of anti-body Coralians were torn to shreds, as they collided with the revolving AT field of the Eva.
"Done!" exclaimed Maya. "Kute-class is expanding. The Magi have confirmed: the Zone is opening!"
"Eva's pattern has turned blue!" shouted Hyuga.
"Coralian!" chorused Dr. Akagi and Misato. Suddenly, a burst of rainbow light issued forth from Unit-01 and engulfed the landscape, sky, and coralians.
"Here it is," Fuyutsuki said. "Another Summer of Love."
"Now, Shinji," Ikari said, more to himself than to the Vice Commander, "show me a miracle."
As Shinji opened his eyes, he felt as if the world had been destroyed and recreated in that moment. He felt that he was laying down in a stiff bed. As he adjusted to the light, his eyes were greeted by a grey-ish white paneled ceiling.
His first conscious thought was unusual regular for someone who had just been through hell. 'Unfamiliar ceiling. . .'
Holidays in the Sun
In a darkly lit room twelve men, whose countenance can only be seen by the different colored lights emanating from their desks, begin to discuss a serious matter– they all are looking toward the Commander of Nerv, Gendo Ikari.
Their eyes were fixed on this stoic man, but their ears awaited the old man's voice. He was a stout gentlemen; and his eyes, though they were covered by an odd looking vizor, gave the distinct impression that they were seeing through whatever they fixed on. He might, one could imagine, be seeing through all solid matter, either into a righteous reality or bottomless abyss.
"The coming of the coralians. . .it's too abrupt."
Now, the other members knew it was time to begin. The yellow-lighted member began. "It's the same as one hundred years ago– disaster always comes without any notice."
The 'red' member followed. "Though now it seems that our previous investments have not gone to waste."
The 'blue' member interjected, "Things are not resolved yet; if this all doesn't pay off then it will still be a waste."
Again, the 'yellow' member spoke. "That is right. As for the measures taken to deal with the anti-body coralians and the Kute-class, Nerv must take steps to handle the manner in which this information is released."
"You may rest assured," answered Gendo Ikari, "it has already been taken care of."
Shinji Ikari had been awake for three hours, staring up at the ceiling and trying to remember what had happened. No one had come to visit him. No doctor. No nurse. Not Dr. Akagi, or Ms. Misato, or his Father. He remembered being found in some sort of field. But it was strange. The ground had cratered, and the floor looked like colorful stone. What had happened before that? Was someone with him? The other pilot: Rei Ayanami.
"That must be acknowledged."
"However," responded the 'green', "Nerv and the Eva: how will you use them Ikari?"
Then the 'yellow', "The costs of repairs for Unit-01 damaged in the first battle. . .if this continues, the country will bankrupt."
"And," battered the 'red', "you have given that 'toy' to your own son."
"Manpower. Time. Money," finished off the 'blue', "How much will go to waste at the hands of your family?"
"Furthermore," observed the 'green', "you refuse to allow us to interrogate either of the pilots."
"No one has returned from the other side of the Zone in the hundred years since this Council has been formed. They may hold some key to the final evolution of man." The 'yellow' was calm and collect on the outside, but, for the first time, his voice betrayed the whole council's deadly seriousness.
Shinji had slept for nearly 28-hours after being salvaged by Nerv, but Rei Ayanami had passed out from pain– she did not sleep. Even on normal days– at least, as 'normal' a day as she ever had– sleep was something she performed. Like eating, or breathing, it was something necessary for survival. Exhaustion and pain: these are the reasons she slept. She thought, now more than ever, that she preferred the former.
'I'm still alive.' She sighed, but caught herself. Once before, she had been close to death, but it was different this time. 'Commander.' Her thoughts drifted back to what had happened inside the Zone. 'Ikari.'
"The Evas are not your only responsibility," re-oriented the 'red', "The Human Instrumentality Project." On the table before the Commander of Nerv, sat the ominous document– the cover of which read:
Top Secret. Human Instrumentality Project. Top-Level Executive Council.
17th Interim Report
Human Enhancement Committee
Fiscal Summary
"Correct," affirmed the 'yellow', "Under these desperate circumstances, that project may be the only hope mankind has."
"In any case," by his tone, it is clear now that the old man opposite Ikari was the leader of these colored men, "the Angels are not an excuse for the project to fall behind schedule. We may consider readjusting the budget."
"The rest of the meeting does not concern you, Ikari."
"You're presence was...appreciated" All the members disappear into the darkness of the room, seemingly erased from existence– save the Chairman.
"You know, Ikari," concluded the old man, "there can be no going back."
With the disappearance of the lighted desks, one could see Vice Commander Fuyutsuki standing next to the seated Gendo. "I know," said the Commander to the vacated room. "Humanity has no time."
In the past few hours, Shinji had been checked on once or twice, by both doctors and nurses. They told him that he was in perfect health, but didn't mention a word about what had happened, or what would happen when he was released at 5:00pm. They asked if he had any medically related question. Shinji thought for a moment. He turned to look at the ceiling, and he was reminded of the metallic inside of the entry plug.
Effortlessly, his lips moved, asking: "Is the other pilot alright?"
"Rei?" The nurse confirmed, "She's. . .better." The nurse checked the monitors one more time, and left the room. Shinji was annoyed. The nurse had said those words oddly. What did 'better' mean? Wasn't Ayanami on the brink of death when she was found, but now was she barely stable? Or was she critically hurt before, but had managed to be kept alive– at least for now.
Before he could stew more, Misato entered the room. "Hey Shinji, glad to see you awake!" The woman's cheerful disposition was nauseating. It might have been a refreshing change from all the chaos in his life, but Shinji was still resentful toward the Captain for her part in making him pilot.
"Ms. Misato," Shinji was trying to ask a question, but there were so many other things he wanted to say.
Misato waited for a long while in silence. She owed it to this boy to answer for what she had done. She knew it was necessary– indeed, despite the damage done to the base, to the Evas, and to the pilots, the mission was an unexpected success– but that didn't change the fact that a 15 year old boy had the weight of the world on his shoulders.
"Shinji, you don't have to let it out all at once. I'm sorry to say that you'll be with us for a while. No one can make you stay, but. . .I hope you would. The work we're doing here is for the sake of mankind– no. . .it goes beyond that. I just want you to understand that."
Again, without conflict, a question stood out in his mind. "Is Ayanami alright?"
Misato was surprised, and Shinji had noticed that he had used the girl's name. The familiarity of Misato created an easiness in Shinji that went deeper than he had noticed or intended. Though taken a back, Misato smiled and answered, "Rei is fine. She is actually a lot better now than she was before you two entered the Zone."
"But," Shinji had sat up in the hospital bed, "I saw her. She was hurt and bleeding."
"I know, Shinji, calm down." Misato had walked over to the bed and placed her hands on his shoulders. Shinji was sweating, and hadn't realized till now how upset he had become. "You're not completely well yet. Maybe we should have you stay another day– Ah! But you'll have to attend an assignment meeting tonight. It will be fine. I'll come pick you up in two hours: 5 o'clock, kay?" Misato smiled, and left.
Though he was exhausted, only a few minutes later, Shinji decided he couldn't stay in that room. He felt trapped– crowded– cornered. He knew that there were windows on the other side of the door. He got up and the door opened automatically to let him out. And there, outside the door to his right, Rei Ayanami was looking out the window.
For nearly a minute, Shinji had forgotten himself and continued to stare at Rei, who stared out toward the fields of the geosphere.
"What is it?" Shinji was startled and embarrassed. Rei hadn't turned to face him, but Shinji bowed his head in shame.
"I'm sorry," Shinji said.
"For what?" Shinji realized that her tone wasn't accusing or even curious. She was almost disinterested in his presence, but asked him out of habit– as if her mouth had asked, while her mind was free to wander.
Shinji was sorry for a lot of things, but decided not to answer. Her voice was so soft. He wanted to keep her talking. And it hit him. She wasn't wearing any bandage. Her posture showed that her side was no longer hurt, and even that her arm and ribs had been healed. "You're–uh, you look, without you bandages I mean. . .how did you heal? It's only been a day, right?"
"You don't remember," for the first time, Rei looked at him. Shinji wasn't sure if she was asking a question or not.
"Remember what?" Her eyes were red. Why did that seem so familiar? Her gaze pierced his ego, and Shinji thought he might collapse from exhaustion.
"They will ask you what you remember."
"Ah!" Shinji wanted to make sure, to defend himself. "You mean. . .in the Zone. We both– It happened then? I mean: that was real?"
Shinji shouted the last question, but immediately regretted doing so. Rei began to walk toward him. "I- I'm sor–" She walked right passed Shinji and down the hall. Shinji turned around, and saw his father waiting for Rei. His gaze was fixed on her: Shinji was invisible to both of them.
'What I remember. . .'
"Coralian!" chorused Dr. Akagi and Misato. Suddenly, a burst of rainbow light issued forth from Unit-01 and engulfed the landscape, sky, and coralians.
Inside the entry plug Shinji felt as if he were a fish caught on a hook. His body was being pulled away from the Eva and from Rei. "Ayanami!" Shinji was terrified. His concern for the blue-haired pilot was trumped by his fear of being dragged away alone. He pulled her body tightly to his chest, and for a moment he felt as if the current would usher them the same way.
Suddenly, Rei, whose face showed utter anguish, was being pulled to the right of Shinji, as if they had come to a fork in the current's path. No matter the hook at his chest, as Shinji held on to the other pilot he felt as if his very soul was being torn away from his body.
"Wait, hold on!" It was no use. Rei was in too much pain and her body was limp. Shinji watched as her form disappeared into the multi-colored sea. That was it– his will to hold on to Rei had taken all his strength from him. Normally, Shinji might have passed out; but whatever was happening to him– whatever force had swept him away from reality– it was not allowing him to fall into the oblivion of sleep.
How long he floated in weightlessness, he could never tell. But Shinji now knew that he had never before grasped the concept of a "long time". Time was something we as humans only experience because our bodies age, grow weary, and decay. This is what Shinji felt: the decaying of his body was so intense and prolonged that he thought there must be nothing of it left.
Then, as soon as he resigned himself to his fate, he heard a woman's voice. "What will we name the child?" Her voice was comforting and warm– like a mother's– but he did not recognize it.
"If it's a boy, Shinji," answered the father. Shinji definitely knew that voice– it was one he hated. "If it's a girl, Rei."
"Shinji," considered the mother. "Rei. . .Ikari Shinji. . .Ikari Rei. . .no, Rei. . .Rei Ayanami." Shinji was startled into full consciousness, and he noticed that he was sitting on the seat inside of a public train. Across from him sat a small girl with blue hair. Her head was bowed so Shinji couldn't see her face.
"Did you know?" asked the small girl, "There is so much pain and suffering in the world, and no one understands why."
"I don't know what you mean," responded Shinji. "Of course there is pain. It can't be any other way."
"But why is that?" insisted the girl, "Didn't you know that if you're alone, then you never have to be hurt?"
"Is that the truth?" Shinji considered its words. "But. . .being alone, isn't that also painful?"
Shinji noticed for the first time the presence of a third person. This one was a man, older than him, but not by much. He had brown hair and his forehead seemed to emanate a faint, red light. He was speaking, "–not all. The Scub Coral don't want to be alone: humans are the same. We can't live on our own."
"But neither can they understand one another," shot back the girl. "An exception does not discount the rule."
"He will prove it is not," asserted the boy. "Why are you here?"
The question was directed at Shinji, who said feebly, "I don't know."
"It that the truth?" asked both simultaneously.
"My father needed me."
"You want to be with him. You want to talk with him and forgive him–"
"I can't!" Shinji clenched his fists. "I won't forgive him. He abandoned me! He left me! He doesn't need me now! HE DIDN'T CARE IF I DIED IN THE EVA!"
The boy didn't press the issue, instead asking, "But is that the only reason?" Shinji was too upset to give what he said any thought. "Listen. . ."
Shinji heard something, but the sensation was not at all like hearing. Instead, it was if he was thinking someone else's thoughts. He had felt it before, in the Eva with Ayanami. But what was it saying? It was maddening. He willed himself to 'hear' it.
"Ikari. . .Ikari. . .Ikari. . .Ikari. . ." He knew it– "Ayanami!" Shinji noticed that his surroundings had changed. He was standing in the hanger, and the Eva was before him. He looked around and saw an un-bandaged Rei kneeling on the ground, facing Unit-01.
Shinji ran over, but stopped at about three feet from her, but continued to stand. "Ah. . .I heard you calling."
"Because," Rei said after a moment, "it won't work without you."
"Oh, but I. . .don't know what I could do." For some reason Shinji was embarrassed.
"Yes," Rei recognized that her fellow Pilot felt he was incapable, "but Unit-01 will not operate properly without you."
"Oh, so that's what you mean." Shinji wasn't sure what he thought she had meant, but now he was angry and disappointed. "I can't pilot the Eva. I'm not like you, Ayanami– I'm not brave."
"Brave," Rei thought about what the word meant, and what he might mean. "You think I'm brave?"
"I mean that. . .I just can't do it."
"Why?"
"Because. . ." Shinji thought about the conversation he had just had in the 'train', "I have no faith in myself." Shinji had begun to cry. The unfairness of it all hit him once again. He hated what was happening. He hated having to pilot. He hated Misato, and Dr. Akagi, and Nerv. He hated his father.
"Is that all?" He looked up and saw that Rei had stood up, and was now looking directly into his eye. He thought in furious indignation that he might hate Rei the most right now.
How could she consider this a small thing? Didn't she understand how hard is was for him? He was about to yell out at her, when she took a step forward and grabbed his hand.
"If you don't have faith in yourself, then have faith in Unit-01," Rei explained.
"I can't do that either!" Shinji wanted to yell louder, but his mind was fixed on the feeling of Rei's hand. "I don't even know what that thing is," he finished.
"But Unit-01 protected you in the hanger." Shinji remembered how it had sheltered him and Rei from the falling beam. "If you believe in Unit-01, then Eva will believe in me, and I'll believe in you. Do you see how that works?" Rei drew a circle in the air– as if to illustrate how the three supported each other– showing exactly 'how it worked'.
Shinji blushed, but managed to say, "Y-yes."
"Then let's go." At Rei's words the surroundings dissolved, and the next thing Shinji knew he was back in the entry plug. He would pass out as soon as he heard people gathering around the outside, being directed, by what sounded like Ms. Misato, to get the pilots out immediately.
Silence Burns
Just as she had said, Misato came to bring Shinji to his assignment meeting at 5 o'clock. She also brought his clothes, washed and pressed. He dressed slothfully, and tried to convince himself that whatever happened in his life from this point on was out of his hands. If he was going to pilot the Eva, he might as well die doing it. At least then, it would be over.
He was now in an upper room, the floor, ceiling and walls of which seemed to be made of hard glass. Through the glass shone writing and symbols that Shinji did not understand. He could see some way down that the large room's fourth wall was a window looking out toward the geosphere.
"It's decided," announced the suit-clad agent, who was the only other person in the room besides Shinji and Captain Katsuragi.
"Are you really okay with this, Shinji?"
"It's all right, Ms. Misato. I'm used to being alone." Not only was Misato worried, but she wasn't convinced of Shinji's words.
"Is that everything?" Elsewhere, somewhere deep within Central Dogma, beneath Nerv's main base, the Commander, Dr. Akagi, and Rei Ayanami were speaking. They were surrounded by tanks filled with LCL. Rei, still wet and getting dressed, seemed to have just exited one of these tanks.
"Yes, Commander," answered Dr. Akagi. "The extraction was a success. Thank you, Rei. You can go now."
"Yes," Rei had finished dressing, and began to walk away. She stopped and turned to asked, "Commander. . ."
"Yes, Rei?"
"Do you have to do the same to the Pilot of Unit-01?"
"That is not your concern, Rei," interrupted Dr. Akagi.
"Yes," but Rei did not move.
". . .We could not access his memories in the same manner," answered Commander Ikari. "You know this."
"Yes," Rei still did not move, but she expected no better answer. Her head told her body to move, but it was reluctant to listen.
"Even if we questioned him," the Commander decided to say, though Dr. Akagi didn't see the need, "he would be useless in giving an objective account."
"Yes," Rei's body finally walked out of the room.
"She seems concerned about Shinji," remarked Dr. Akagi. The Commander was silent. "It might become a problem, for both of them. Their psyches are fragile enough; if their synch ratios go down then all this will have been for nothing."
Commander Ikari stood and walked out of the room, stopping at the door to say, "I will see you tonight."
Dr. Akagi fumed on the inside. 'He just assumes I'll come.' Just then, her phone rang. It was Misato.
"You're going to what!" Dr. Akagi couldn't believe her ears.
"That's right, he's going to live with me. I already cleared it with the higher ups. Don't worry, I'm not gonna make a move on a child."
"Of course you're not– what the hell are you saying!"
Misato had to pull the phone back from her ear, as the doctor continued to scream from the other end of the phone. "Geez, Ritsuko can't take a joke."
For the past hour or so, Shinji had been dragged around the city. They were going to head straight home, but Misato decided that they should go to the convenience store and pick up some things for his "welcoming party". Of course, Shinji said that wasn't necessary, but Misato dismissed him. Then, instead of heading home from the store, Misato said that they were going to make a stop. "Some place special," she said.
Finally, the car stopped at a hill overlooking the city. As Shinji looked over the buildings, fire lit by the sunset, a profound sense of isolation hit him. "It's. . .such a lonesome city."
Misato had been staring at her watch, suddenly announcing, "Here we go." Before Shinji's eyes, the city was changing. An alarm sounded and the city came alive.
"Ah! The buildings are growing!"
"This is the fortress city designed for intercepting the Coralians: Ciudades del Cielo, where the gates of Heaven reside. It's the city you protected Shinji, and your connected to it. Do you see the ruins at the edge of the mountains?" He looked, saw it, and nodded. "They call that place the Great Wall. The Vodarac teachings– on which this new nation, The U.V.S. Republic, is founded– say that this place can become destiny's gate for anyone who comes to it with a sincere heart. This is a place where people make a choice. I think you made the right choice to fight, Shinji. . .and I want you to know, that we're all fighting with you."
Finally, they arrived at Misato's apartment. Outside the door, Shinji's things had been stacked by the way-side. "Oh," Misato was pleased, "It looks like your things have arrived." Misato casually walked through the door, announcing, "I've only just moved here myself, you know?" She turned to see Shinji standing with the groceries at the threshold of the door. "Come in."
"I. . ." Shinji tried to tell himself it wasn't such a big deal, "don't want to intrude."
'You've always been alone. Just because you live here doesn't mean that anything has changed. One place is the same as another. Nothing will change.'
"Shinji," Misato's voice was much too caring for Shinji to be comfortable, "this is your home now."
Some thing inside him snapped. Somehow, he realized, things had changed. Before he came to Nerv, he was passing the days. . .waiting to die. It was boring him to death. If nothing else, his father was here. Even if he couldn't do anything, Misato was here too. . .and Ayanami. Maybe, they could be friends. Maybe, things wouldn't be so bad. This could be his home.
"I'm home."
"Welcome home."
He couldn't believe how much of a slob the Commander of Nerv's Operations was. She had nothing but beer and condiments in her fridge– trash lay everywhere on the ground. They divided chores by Janken– Shinji got the lion's share– and the instant food they had for dinner was disgusting. Ms. Misato said not to be picky, but that didn't change the taste. But more than all that, a penguin had been soaking in the bath– from which hung Misato's underwear. Apparently, his name was Pen Pen, and he was their third roommate.
As Shinji soaked in the bath that night, strange thoughts came to him. As Misato took a bath, she decided to call Ritsuko.
"Looking after him is your job, isn't it? You are the Captain– and Director of Operations."
"I'm afraid, we just don't get along."
"Giving up already? After saying that you would take him in. . ."
"Give it a rest!" Misato hung up, and spoke to herself. "I guess I was thinking of myself. . .I'm the same as Ritsuko. Although the mission succeeded. . .I don't seem happy."
Misato got out of the bath, got dress, and went to Shinji's door. "Shinji," she said through the closed screen, "can I come in." There was no response, but somehow Misato knew he was awake, so she opened the door.
Shinji was curled up under the covers, but his eyes were open. He had headphones in his ears, but Misato spoke anyways. "You did a good thing today. You should hold your head up high. So cheer up, Shinji. . .and Goodnight."
The door closed, and Shinji wondered at her words. The feeling he had earlier when he entered the apartment had vanished. He knew that it was somewhere deep inside, but the night crowded around him– as if the darkness wanted to hide it from his sight. 'Why am I here?'
"Aim. Target in the center. Trigger. Aim. Target in the center. Trigger. Aim. Target in the center. Trigger. Aim. Target in the center. Trigger."
"I'm surprised that Shinji was willing to continue piloting the Eva." Lieutenant Ibuki listened as Shinji repeated the instructions given to him– like a mantra or prayer.
He was running a training simulation for combating Coralians. Like the LFO's, the Eva used the trapar as a power source; but know mechanic has figured out how to outfit them with a board– or any other device that would allow them to lift. Thus, Unit-01 had was at a disadvantage when attacking the anti-body Coralians. Of course, as Dr. Akagi knew, Unit-01 was not primarily as a weapon. It was a vehicle: the only thing capable of going to and coming back from the Zone.
"I think he just does what he is told. . .that's how he's gotten through life," answered Dr. Akagi.
"He won't survive with that attitude," Misato mused to herself.
"So," Ritsuko provoked, "How have you two been?"
"It's like you said," Misato sighed, "An obedient child, almost to a fault." The whole lab watched as Shinji flawlessly destroyed every coralian that came into view. "He transferred two week ago, but it doesn't seem like it matters much to him. No one ever call him."
"What's that?" Ritsuko asked as she checked the synch rates.
"I issued him a cellphone for Nerv emergencies. Though, he doesn't seem to use for anything at all. I'm not sure, but I don't think he has any friends."
"Shinji's not the type to make friends easily," the doctor said matter-of-fact-ly. "Have you heard of the hedgehogs dilemma?"
"Hedgehogs?" Misato wondered, "Like. . .with spikes?"
"Right," Ritsuko began exasperated. "Even when a hedgehog may want to come close to another hedgehog for warmth, the closer they come the more they injure one another. It's the same with humans. The reason he seems so withdrawn is because he is afraid of being hurt."
"He's just going to have to learn that growing up is learning to interact with others."
"It's all about finding that comfortable distance," agreed Ritsuko. "Ok Shinji, your done now. Good work."
Shinji had arrived at school half an hour early. The only two people in the class room were the class representative– Hikari, he thought her name was– and, sitting in the back by the window, was the blue haired pilot.
'She's just staring out the window. . .just like the other day.'
"Good Morning," the class rep. said distractedly.
"G-good. . ." Shinji didn't feel like saying anything, and the "morning" was barely audible. He had sat down, took out his things for school, and stared at nothing in particular for the next half hour.
What shook him out this daze was the yell near the door. "Suzuhara!" yelled the class rep., followed by another boy: "Toji!"
'Why do they have to be so loud?' Shinji thought. Though he wasn't listening, he heard the three talking about something. Less students– a war– the boy called "Suzuhara" visiting his sister– the other one, Kensuke, being happy about. . .something.
Kensuke was talking. "Speaking of which," Kensuke lowered his voice, "did you hear the rumor about the transfer student?"
"Transfer student?" echoed Toji.
"He transferred here right after the incident: suspicious, don't you think?" Shinji didn't like how this conversation was going, but he convinced himself that it wasn't worth caring about.
The next thing that shook Shinji from his narcoleptic state was the flashing "message" window on the laptop on his desk. He opened it.
"Is it true that you are the pilot of that robot? Y/N"
Shinji looked around the classroom to see who sent the message. He saw two girls laughing to themselves in the corner of the classroom. He saw them type something onto the computer, and in an instant another message was on Shinji's screen.
"It's true, isn't it?"
Even if you asked him later, Shinji couldn't honestly tell you why he answered. I think he was lonely: that he remembered being praised by Misato, and wanted to re-experience that feeling. He probably didn't give it much thought at all, but before he answered he did look over at Rei. He might have grabbed onto the excuse: 'They have to know she's a pilot too.' What could be the harm?
"Yes."
"EEEEHHHHHHHHHH!" The whole class stood up, and crowded around Shinji. He immediately regretted answering. They asked him questions about Eva, Nerv, the Coralians– none of which he could answer. All the while, the class rep. tried to restore order– Kensuke eyed him suspiciously– and Toji looked as if he wanted to murder the entire class.
The bell rang, and the teacher noticed what was happening. He ordered everyone back to their seats. The class rep. demanded: "Stand. Bow. Dismissed!" Shinji left as soon as he could. He saw people waiting for him at the school gate, and decided to lay low for a while. He wound up at the back of the school.
"Hey, new kid!" Shinji turned around and saw the boy named Toji marching toward him. Next thing he knew, he was on the ground.
The Sun and the Moon
He might have been in shock– but maybe that was too dramatic. Really, Shinji just thought that the first punch he ever took would hurt more. Would this boy, Toji, be the first person to ever beat him up? A fight. . .he had never been in–
"Hahaha," Shinji laughed under his breath, as he wiped the blood from his mouth. 'I guess the Eva should count.' But now Toji was speaking.
"Sorry, new comer, "Toji said as he massaged his knuckles. "You see, I had to hit you to work off my own anger."
As Toji walked away, the other boy bent down to say something to Shinji. "He's just that kinda a guy, ya know? His sister got hurt in that incident with you and your giant robot."
It was unfair. It wasn't up to him. "It's not like I wanted to pilot that stupid thing." Toji turned around, picked Shinji up by his collar and looked him dead in the eye. Shinji couldn't look at him. He hoped he would get hit again. 'This doesn't hurt. It's nothing compared to what I'm feeling.'
And there it was. He was on the floor. Kensuke and Toji walked away, and Shinji felt like laying on the floor till school ended– till the students trampled him on their way home. After a while, Shinji noticed someone standing above him. It was the blue haired pilot.
"Ayanami. . ."
"There's an emergency," she said. "I'll head in first." And off she went.
"W-Wait up!" Shinji ran after her. He caught up at the school gate, but Rei was still running. "I don't think," Shinji said in panted breaths, "that we have– to run– the whole way." Rei didn't respond, but Shinji noticed that she was slowing down. After five minutes or so, they were walking. Shinji could hardly breathe. He was walking alongside Rei.
He looked over, and for a moment, he was intimidated. The blue haired pilot was walking with no sign of fatigue. Her back was straight and her eyes faced forward. Then Shinji noticed: though her mouth was closed, she was taking deep breathes through her nose. Her chest moved rapidly up and down, and Shinji couldn't stop staring. He realized that he should be embarrassed, but he was mesmerized.
There was something numinous about the movement– a sign of life. Everything in the world was contributing to the life ingested by each breathe she took, and the very existence of Rei Ayanami seemed to Shinji a sign that life itself– however painful– should go on.
They didn't speak the whole way. They were inside the Nerv base, and heard over the speakers: "Will Shinji Ikari, the pilot of Unit-01, report to the decontamination area. Will Rei Ayanami report to the bridge. Again, will Shinji Ikari, the pilot of Unit-01, report to the decontamination area."
Rei and Shinji were riding the escalator down to Dogma. "You are going to pilot," Rei said. Why she decided to state the obvious. . .Why did she say anything? Pilot Ikari wouldn't–
"Wa-without you, you mean?" Shinji was horrified, but thought he kept it hidden in his voice well.
"Are you worried?" Rei didn't know why Pilot Ikari was being sent out alone. He had done well last time, but only because she had supported him. 'Because my thoughts on how to pilot supported him,' she checked herself internally. However, all this being said, if the Pilot didn't have confidence, he would not make it in the Eva.
"I am," Shinji admitted to himself, more than Ayanami. "But– !' Shinji asserted, "It doesn't matter. I have to do this. Aren't you scared of piloting it, Ayanami?"
"You are Commander Ikari's son, correct?"
"Er-Yes," Shinji answered.
"Don't you have faith in your father's work?"
"Of course not! How could I have faith in a father like him?" Without a word, Rei turned on the spot and slapped him full in the face.
The hit hurt less than Toji's, but her stare– it was the same stare she gave him outside the hospital room. "This is the way to the contamination area," Rei said as she turned around. Shinji realized that Rei had led him to the Eva, and now she was heading up the opposite escalator. 'She's just like Misato and my father. They all push me into piloting it.'
"But Ayanami," Shinji called after her.
"Yes", she answered. 'She doesn't seem mad,' Shinji thought.
"You said if I have faith in the Eva, then. . .I mean–"
"Yes," finished Rei for her fellow pilot, "The Commander has faith in you: so I believe in you. Go now, or you will be late." Rei turned around and began to run up the escalators.
'So that's what it was about,' Shinji felt betrayed. But. . .it wasn't all bad, he thought: 'Father believes in me.'
Shinji was being loaded into the Eva via entry plug, and on the bridge Misato had taken command. Lieutenant Aoba reported, "Kute-class on screen."
Then Lieutenant Hyuga, "Anti-body coralians in the thousands. Estimated time before they begin attack on the Geosphere: 57 minutes approx."
"2 hours 30 minutes: estimated time till they breach the Geosphere."
"How long will it take to launch the Eva?" Misato co-ordinated.
"Eva will launch in 15 minutes," responded Lieutenant Maya.
"Connect me with the Pilot. You there, Shinji?"
"Yes," whispered a dead voice from the other end of the com. link.
"Alright, listen up people," began Misato. "Our top priority is protecting the Geosphere. Damage to Ciudades del Cielo and its citizens is secondary."
"The issue to evacuate is complete, and the intelligence department estimates that 90% of the populace have either fled the city or entered the designated emergency shelters," commented Dr. Akagi.
"Only 90%?" asked Shinji absent minded.
"It's alright, Shinji," assured Misato. "That's better than we hoped. The Vodarac priests and some layman never evacuate. They believe the Kute-class to be a manifestation of the divine being. But like I said, don't worry about it. Concentrate on eliminating the enemy; and remember, your gun and knife may be your primary weapons, but your AT field is what you should focus you energy on. It is not only a defensive weapon."
"Yes, ma'am," responded Shinji. All sorts of thoughts rushed through Shinji's head. He knew he wouldn't be able to pilot without Ayanami's help. He thought it just as well to die today, as anytime in the future. On the other hand, his father was watching. She had said that his father had faith in him. Maybe, he would succeed. Maybe, he would save the city, like Misato said he had before.
"Shinji!" screamed Misato. She had obviously said something to him, and Shinji was too deep in thought to notice. "Pay attention, dammit. Your survival, and the survival of Nerv, depends on this!"
Inside the Ciudades del Cielo emergency shelter, Shinji's classmates had gathered. Most of the families had moved away after the first attack, so that Shinji's class encompassed the entire 1st year of their high school. Most were having a descent time in the shelter, talking and playing games as if they were on a school trip. Some were afraid or panicked, but they were quiet and didn't cause any trouble. Others were apathetic, but only one student was excited.
"Oh, man," Kensuke complained, "there's no video at all. I can't believe we're missing the greatest event of the century.
"You must be the only high school student who is actually glad those monsters are attacking." Toji was of the apathetic group. He tried not to think about what was going on– it would only make him angrier.
"Hey," Kensuke whispered to Toji. "We gotta talk, you know?"
"So talk," Toji was barely listening.
"Not here, c'mon."
"Alright. Hey, class rep." Toji and Kensuke both walked over to Hikari, who was talking to another girl in their class. "We gotta go take a leak."
"Hmph," Hikari looked offended at his crudeness. "You should have done that before we left. Well, go on then."
In the bathroom, Toji figured while he was there he might as well get some business done. Kensuke, however, was too excited. "I gotta see it man. . .just once before I die."
"You crazy?" Toji said. "You actually wanna go out there?"
"C'mon," Kensuke pleaded. "Think about it. You'll never get a chance like this again. You can't let me go out there alone!"
"Alright, alright," conceded Toji, "Damn, you're pushy."
"Do you think it was wise to send an untested pilot out into that madness?" Gendo Ikari did not bother responding to the Vice Commander's concerns. "On top of that, he is your son, and the key to Nerv's objective."
"It is necessary," explained Ikari, "to test the hypothesis set forth in the Ageha Project Myth."
"The synchronization of the two pilots," Fuyutsuki commented to himself. "Such a gamble borders on foolishness."
The operation was ready. Shinji sat in the Eva, as Misato commanded: "Launch!"
In a few seconds, Shinji once again looked out across the landscape of Ciudades del Cielo and saw it filled with anti-body coralians. "Remember Shinji," Misato advised. "They'll only detect you when you spread your AT field. Take a moment, and breathe. There's no going back now. Are you ready?"
Shinji didn't have to think, "Yes. AT field to maximum!" The Eva extended its AT field, and coralians swarmed. Shinji aimed, centered the targets, and pulled the trigger. Coralians fell left and right, but there seemed to be no end to them. Soon all Shinji saw was a cloud of gunfire smoke in front of him.
"Idiot!" Misato yelled, "Your blocking you vision, pull back!" It was too late. Out of the dust cloud Coralians had appeared like a battering ram. They made contact with the AT field, and though it didn't break Shinji was sent flying back. He landed on the side of the hill, as the Coralians regrouped.
"Unit-01 sustained minor damage," came from Hyuga.
"Pilot's vitals are normal, but the umbilical chord had been cut: 2 minutes 50 seconds left of power."
Misato's mind worked quickly. "Right. Fire anti-air missiles to create a distraction. Shinji! Pull back to sector 4. A rifle will be waiting for you. . .Shinji. . .Shinji! Answer me–"
"Anti-body Coralians attacking!" shouted Aoba over Misato.
Shinji instinctively put up his hands, letting go of the Eva's controls. To his surprise, the Eva mimicked his action. Not only that, it had solidified its AT field, and the Coralians were knocking against it, unable to break it.
"Shinji!" Misato demanded again, "Follow my orders and pull back!"
"I can't!" Shinji protested.
"This isn't the time for–"
"Misato! I really can't!" Shinji's eyes shifted down to the Eva's side, and the bridge saw through Unit-01's cameras that there were two boys on the side of the hill.
"What the hell are civilians doing there?" raged Dr. Akagi.
"Information on screen," responded Aoba. "They're Shinji's classmates."
Again, Misato's mind worked a mile a minute. "Ma'am," shouted Hyuga, "10 minutes till anti-body Coralians breach the Geosphere."
"Engage emergency plug ejection plan," the Captain ordered. "Shinji! Let those two into the entry plug." Shinji saw the myriad of lights, and felt the entry plug move, then open. A ladder descended from the plug, and the internal speakers of the Eva relayed Captain Katsuragi's voice: "You two! Hurry up and get in!"
Without a moments delay, Kensuke and Toji raced up the ladder and entered the entry plug. "What the hell is this!" Toji screamed as he entered the LCL.
"It's all wet and gross," complained Kensuke. Suddenly, the two boys were submerged in the LCL.
"It's alright," they heard Misato's voice. "Just breathe it in, you'll be fine."
"My camera!"
"What's going on here, Ikari?" Toji looked down at Shinji, who had gripped the Eva's controls, trying to keep the AT field from breaking. Each time a wave of Coralians hit, the two boys saw Shinji's arms tremble.
"Now, Shinji," instructed Misato, "when they hit up and regroup, use the opportunity to escape, and get to the rifle!"
The wave came, and the Coralians left an opening. "Hey, you heard her," Toji prodded, "Get going, new kid." Both of the boys were more terrified than they had ever been.
The next hit, Shinji knew, would be the whole swarm– they would try to catch him up in the air, like they did in his first battle. But he wouldn't run– and he wouldn't go on fighting. It was too much.
"AT field has been lowered! Unit-01 is defenseless!"
"Shinji, what the hell are you doing?" The Captain watched as the Coralian swarm redirected its efforts. The Eva was invisible to them now.
"The Anti-body Coralians have doubled their efforts. The Geofront is nearly exposed!"
Shinji heard the bridge, and looked up. He saw the swarm leave him, and immediately regretted lowering his AT field. 'I mustn't run away. I mustn't run away. I mustn't run away. I mustn't run away. I mustn't run away!'
"Hey, Dammit! I'm right here!" Shinji extended his AT field– going beyond its maximum limit, and the anti-body coralians darted toward him. Now, Shinji regretted extending his AT field. Why did he have to go through this? It wasn't fair? How could he defeat all of them?
"Shinji." His father's voice snapped him out of his self-loathing. "You must fight."
With every inch of his being, Shinji hated his father; but he hated himself more. Why must he fight? 'Because I have nothing else' If this is all there is, why should he continue living? 'If I die, humanity will die.' That's what Misato says. 'I trust Misato.' How could he trust anyone who forced him to pilot? 'I trust Rei.'
There was no question or response in Shinji's head to this statement. He thought on, 'I trusted Ayanami when she said to trust the Eva. I trusted her to have faith in me. My father has faith in me. Misato has faith in me. And Rei Ayanami. . .I mustn't run away.'
"Unit-01 is generating trapar!" Maya was astounded, along with her fellow Lieutenants, that this phenomenon could happen again. Two pilots was always unpredictable, but this time Shinji was alone.
"Another Seven Swell!" Dr. Akagi looked up toward the tower where the Commander and Vice Commander watched. 'This doesn't prove the Ageha Myth. But. . .Shinji Ikari: he is certainly the inheritor to the throne.'
"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Shinji pushed the controls outwards, and Unit-01's arms extended, as did its AT Field. The rainbow of colored trapar emanated from the Eva and overtook the swarm.
The cameras blinded out, and the bridge lost contact for 1246 seconds. Misato ordered a recovery team to be sent out to monitor the activity right away. When the phenomenon ended, Unit-01 had powered down, and the Kute-class was gone.
Inside the entry plug, Shinji had passed out. The two boys were even more terrified than before. They had seen in that short time Shinji go thru bouts of extreme anger, and saw the look in his eyes as he forced the AT field to continue to expand. They watched as that look died and withered into despair. He laughed for a moment, and Toji thought that he had lost his mind. Then, he realized, that Shinji was crying. He continued to cry until exhaustion stole his consciousness.
Siamese Dream
Once again, the Commander of Nerv found himself amongst the twelve members of Seele. The chairman spoke first. "You're actions were not sanctioned by this committee, Ikari." Gendo Ikari didn't respond.
"Sending your son out in the Eva was pointless. If he had failed, Unit-01 might have been lost, which is unacceptable."
"Unit-01 is the chosen vehicle by which Instrumentality will take place. It is too valuable to be used recklessly."
Finally, Gendo Ikari spoke. "Seele has entrusted Nerv with the task of protecting the Command Cluster until the awakening of the Code 4-X. It is likely that either of the pilots might be injured in battle. It was necessary to see if the Third child could synchronize with Unit-01 alone."
"In that respect your actions seemed to have been successful. A Seven Swell Effect, which we believed could only be performed by the union of Man and Coralian, was achieved with a sole pilot and the Artificial Human Evangelion Unit-01."
"The Ageha Project Myth indicates that the union is of the mind and will– the spirit, not the body."
"Indeed, if the First and Third child experienced the same mode of thought during the anti-body Coralian's attack on the Geofront, then it is possible that the Seven Swell could be triggered."
"However, this information does not excuse your actions, Ikari."
"Understood," responded the Commander of Nerv. Again, the lighted desks disappeared from Gendo's sight– but the meeting continued.
The Chairman spoke: "It is clear that Ikari's plans involve both of the pilots, along with Unit-01."
"Sometime, unnoticed, Ikari's objectives have broken from our own. He will act before the appointed time."
"Too much power has been given to that man," concluded the Chairman, "And soon he will have the second child and Unit-02. What are your plans for them, Ikari?
Shinji didn't go to school the next day. He didn't even go home. For the past 4 days he had been wondering the streets. He had thought that life wouldn't be so bad with the Eva. Rei could, maybe, be his friend– or at least someone his own age he could talk to. They were in the same position, after all. And his father: he would never get along with his father. Though, he could be of use. He could do well, and his father would praise him. And Misato had taken him in. She cared about him enough to keep him from the hell of being alone.
'She cared. . .she cared. . .I thought she cared. . .' Shinji remembered what happened after the fight in the Eva the other day. . .
"Why did you ignore my orders?" Shinji sat in the locker room, motionless. He stared down at the floor, as Misato yelled questions at him. "I'm responsible for your actions in every operation. You have an obligation to obey my orders. You understand that don't you!"
"Yes," Shinji answered dully.
"Ignoring my orders could get you killed."
"Yes."
"You almost died! Are you litening!"
"Yes."
Misato slammed the locker door with her fist. "You won't get out of this by mouthing 'Yes'! If you continue piloting with such a half-assed attitude you won't last!"
"Yes, Misato. We won though, right? That's a good thing."
Misato grabbed Shinji by the collar, and pulled him off the bench. They were eye-to-eye, but Shinji continued to stare at the ground. "I wish I could say you had the right outlook, but you're making a mistake if you think it will earn you any praise from me."
"It's not about that," for the first time Shinji had some emotion in his voice, but it was gone in an instant. "Anyways, I don't have a choice. Unit-01 won't work without me. . .I'll just have to do it."
Misato shook Shinji, but the boy remained detached. She let him go, and stormed out of the room.
After the fourth day of Shinji's absence, even Dr. Akagi was beginning to worry. Unlike Misato, she knew what was at stake in Shinji's choice to pilot. Of course, the Security Agency had been tailing him, and could recover him at any time. As a last resort, they could brain wash the boy, but there was no telling how synchronization would be affected after that.
Misato had walked in on Rei's physical examination to complain to Ritsuko about the whole situation. She knew Rei wouldn't mind– the girl had no sense of modesty. She had just finished putting her underwear on when Misato walked in.
"He's only 15 years old," Misato concluded. "In the end, it was too much to lay humanity's destiny on his back."
"It can't be helped," Ritsuko responded. "Unit-01 never functioned properly with Rei as the sole pilot. Furthermore, the Evas can only be piloted by teenagers."
"I know that, but still. . ."
"Has he contacted you at all?" asked Ritsuko. But Misato was silent. "Nothing?"
Misato sighed. "Nothing. I don't think he will pilot again."
"What are you going to do?"
"What could I do? Besides, it's better for him if he never comes back."
"He will." Both Dr. Akagi and Captain Katsuragi looked over to Rei. She was the only other person in the room, but neither were sure that Rei had actually spoken.
Rei buttoned up the last of her uniform and grabbed her bag off the floor. As she headed toward the door, she answered the two women's blank stares. "Pilot Ikari will return."
Shinji had spent those few days trying not to think. He wanted just a short amount of time where he could tell himself that nothing mattered. He was surprisingly successful. He thought so little that he managed to go nearly a week without food or water. He walked as far as he could, but stopped– not out of exhaustion– when he came to a destroyed bridge. Looking out past the wreckage, he saw the street that had brought him to Ciudades del Cielo.
"ALRIGHT!" Shinji yelled into the night. "You. . .can take me back now." Behind Shinji, car and flood lights made it seem like day. The Nerv security had obviously followed him.
Shinji couldn't tell how long he was sitting in solitary confinement, but he was starting to feel the hunger and thirst. Outside, Misato stood, trying to decide how long she should let Shinji stew. She had no idea that he hadn't eaten since before his fight in the Eva– cruelty was not her intention. Plus, she had a plan.
Risuko, on the other hand, who had seen Shinji taken in, noticed immediately the signs of malnutrition and exhaustion. She had come to the cell with a meal, hoping to keep her pilot alive, but Misato was blocking the door.
"You better let me feed him," warned Risuko, "or he might actually die outside the Eva."
"Well we wouldn't want that," Misato mocked. "Just leave it here."
"If I do that," shot back Ritsuko, "the food might get cold."
"I'm not gonna starve him!" yelled Misato. "I'm just waiting."
"For what: to see if Shinji's guilt, or depression, consume him first? You've underestimated his stubbornness– and self-loathing– he probably hasn't eaten in days,"
Ritsuko noticed that Misato was no longer looking at her, but past her. She turned around and saw, "Ah! Rei. . ."
"I have come as you asked, Captain Katsuragi." Rei stopped just short of Dr. Akagi.
"Thanks a bunch, Rei." Misato's mood brightened up considerably. "Now, why don't you bring Shinji's meal in for him?"
". . ." Rei knew that she should be affirming the Captain's request. But her mouth wasn't moving.
Rei was deep in thought, and so missed Dr. Akagi mutter to the Captain, "Is Sh–she blushing?"
"It's alright, Rei," Misato encouraged. "We can't keep him waiting: he hasn't eatin' for days, y'know? Besides," Misato moved behind Rei and pushed on her back, inching her toward the cart carrying Shinji's food. "You have some words to say to him, right?"
". . .Understood." Rei grabbed the cart, and Misato opened the lock door for her.
As the door opened, Shinji's eyes flashed dead. The light was such a drastic change to the confinements darkness, for a split second Shinji thought he might have actually gone blind. He kept his eyes toward the floor– not knowing who was at the door, or what they wanted, and not caring much either.
"Pilot Ikari," Rei spoke, and Shinji looked up in surprise.
"Ayanami," he looked at the cart he was caring, and now Shinji was practically salivating. "Is that. . .uuhhhh–"
"Yes, it is your meal. Dr. Akagi brought it, and Captain Katsuragi asked me to bring it in to you." Rei proceeded to take out and prepare the food. She placed the cart in front of Shinji, pulled out a retractable tray, and set his food upon it so that he would easily be able to eat.
Shinji didn't wait to say "thank you", or even use utensils. He drank his energy shake in one grab, and shoveled rice into his mouth with his palms. Rei stood their– forgotten– patient. Shinji had moved on to his entree, and Rei decided that this was enough. "I'll be going."
"Weih, waitd!" Shinji yelled with his mouth full of food. Rei turned back toward him, and stood waiting. Shinji stared at her for what may have been minutes, but suddenly resumed eating.
There they were– and that's how they stayed. Shinji continued eating, and Rei stood, looking at nothing in particular. Shinji didn't want her to speak, and was glad for the silence. Rei thought about how to say what she was thinking. Why should she even bother? Why should the other Pilot care?
Rei thought, 'We share a bond.' But there was nothing between them: that is the truth. 'Unit-01 is our bond.' The Eva was all she had, but Pilot Ikari despises it. 'That is why he'll understand.'
"Ayanami," Shinji's voice sounded as if he was asking a question, but Rei didn't respond. ". . .you know why I am here."
"Yes," responded Rei.
"I walked as far as I could in every direction. . .But there was no escape. And I don't mean the roads, which are all destroyed. . .I realized that I have no where else to go." The words struck Rei like a bullet. Now, at least, she knew that there was some chance he might understand.
"Why did you run?"
"I don't know," Shinji lied. Rei didn't ask again, though she knew that the other pilot was not being honest with himself.
"Will you run away again?"
"I don't. . .think so," Shinji wondered himself whether that answer was truthful. "Besides," for the first time Shinji looked up– Rei was surprised at the clearness of his blue eyes– "we decided to support each other." Again, Rei felt as if a bullet had hit her, but she didn't understand why.
Her outer persona was as stoic as always, and she could only reply to Shinji's weak and pathetic smile by saying, "Very well. Goodbye, Pilot Ikari."
But as she began to walk toward the door, Shinji bursted out "Wait–ah. . ." Rei turned, but didn't say anything. Shinji lost his train of thought in her eyes. 'It's that stare. . .I don't hate it.'
"Of course," Rei suddenly said.
"Huh?" Shinji watched in shocked awe as Rei went through her motions. He finally realized that she was cleaning up his food, and making to wheel the cart out of the room. "Oh! Ayanami, I'm. . .glad your doing better–" Rei stopped the cart, but did not look back. "What I'm trying to say is that– ummm– you were hurt before, y'know?"
"What am I saying?' Shinji thought.
"What are you saying?" It took a moment for Shinji to accept that it was Rei who had spoken. 'Is she embarrassed?' he thought. Shinji quickly dismissed the notion from his mind. She definitely didn't sound embarrassed.
Of course, what Shinji failed to realize was that Rei Ayanami rarely had any tone to her voice at all. She was so used to being dispassionate to everything, save the Commander, that there was now a six foot wall of crap between her and her emotions.
As things are, Rei didn't think she was embarrassed, nor was she blushing. She was genuinely confused at her fellows Pilot's words. 'Why is he concerned for me?'
"Anyways," Shinji said awkwardly, "You're well now. . ."
"You needn't be concerned about me." Again, Rei's voice was emotionless; but Shinji thought there was a finality in her words.
He was still deep in thought when Misato entered. "Did all that wondering help you sort things out?"
Shinji was snapped out of his reverie. "I suppose. . .I'm sorry. I'll come back."
"You take too much for granted," Misato's tone was stern, more so than Shinji could ever remember it being. "Nerv needs a pilot for Unit-01. Rei's reactivation test is in four days. If we weren't sure whether Unit-01 would operate without you, Shinji. . .you wouldn't be getting off so lightly."
"Reactivation test?" Once again, Shinji showed his propensity for focusing solely on one phrase, tuning the rest out.
"That's right," Misato humored him. "Last time, during the first activation test, she was trapped inside the ejection plug as Unit-01 went berserk. You're father saved her by prying open the super heated hatch with his bare hands. If she wasn't completely devoted to the Commander before that. . . "
"My father. . .and Rei?" Shinji had a lot of emotions swirling around his head, the least of which was confusion.
"In any case, Shinji," Misato sounded caring enough, but Shinji was barely listening. "You have to promise me you won't run off again. I can't cover for you again."
'Misato covered for me. Misato cares about me. . .No, she doesn't. I'm her job. But. . .even so, she is kind to me.'
"Misato," Shinji sounded as pathetic as he looked, which was shocking because– though Shinji hadn't realized it himself– Shinji's clothes were dirtied to the point of soiled rags, and his hands, arms and legs were bruised and bloodied. "Why did you let me live with you?"
"Hah..." Misato scratched her head. "Shinji. . .even if Rei gets the green light to pilot Unit-01 alone, I know. . .she won't pilot the Eva without you." Shinji looked up and saw the seriousness in Misato's eyes. "She may seem confident, even aloof. . .but she's still just a young girl. In my eyes, Shinji, the fate of the world is on both of your shoulders."
'I knew it,' Shinji thought.
"I took you in because you're important to Nerv," Misato finally admitted. "But Shinji, for me personally, it was more than that. You remind me of myself."
"You said that before," muttered Shinji.
"I wasn't lying," Misato said cheerfully. "I joined Nerv for the same reason as you: to get closer to my father. He disappeared while researching the Scub Coral, and now I'm searching for the answers behind what happened, and what is happening now. Maybe. . ." Misato was scared she might frighten or intimidate Shinji into another escape attempt, but she couldn't stop now. "I am using you, but I'm also trying to help you Shinji. I think you need to find out about your father– I know you do. I also think Rei will need support, and I know you can give it to her. So. . .maybe, Shinji, we could all do it together. That's what growing up means: it's what being human means."
Shinji had listened through to the end. He had already decided not to run away, but till now he hadn't realized what he was running away from. 'Responsibility. . .my responsibility to Misato. . .my promise to Rei. . .my father.'
"Dammit!" Shinji yelled as he jumped off the bench and punched the opposite wall. "Dammit! Dammit! Dammit!" With each outburst Shinji's fists connected with the wall, till his knuckles bled. He was nearly crying, and soon he ran out of energy. Shinji fell to his knees, and the last thing he heard was Misato yelling for Dr. Akagi.