The Price of Happiness
Disclaimer: C&M do not own Dark Angel, clearly it was in the hands of Cameron and Eglee, we're just fans simply, so do not go on and sue us, it aiint worth your time.
Authors: CassieAndMarcus.
AN: OK, this story is a sort of sequel, set about a year after the events in Calling Me Evie. Reading that story isn't necessary, but it will help a lot with the background, and will give you a greater understanding of Evie's mindset. Hope you like it! Of course, reviews are extremely welcomed; we've worked very hard on this, because we care about you all so much…
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Chapter One
FLASHBACK
Ten months after Evie's birth...
Max had been surprised when it struck. It had been only three months after she had given birth to her daughter, and she was still nursing. The little one had had a horrible first month, sick all the time, Logan and her were running ragged, they barely slept, and Max even found herself on the edge of her patience and endurance. When the cursed bar code appeared on the back of Evie's neck, Max was crushed; while she was relieved that Evie was finally physically stable, she loathed the idea of her daughter being bound to Manticore in any way. But amidst all the drama, the insane hours, and the occasional nervous breakdown on Logan's part, Max was actually happy, for the first time in her life.
So it came as a big surprise to her to find herself in heat again.
She was watching Evie sleep in the middle of the night. Max had found herself tortured with drowsiness and sleep had overcome her. She jolted out of her uneasy sleep, dewed in sweat. Flushed and unnerved from a dream she could barely remember, Max thought about Logan...and It did involve Logan, of that she was certain. Thinking about him sent a rush of blood to her face...and to other places in her body. She let her mind wander with lascivious thoughts of the man sleeping in the other room. On their bed. In hindsight, she didn't realized she was in heat because...well, because she wanted Logan all the time. She lusted after him every time she saw him transfer to or from his chair, every time she helped him do his ROM exercises, each and every time she 'accidentally' caught him leaving the bathroom after a shower, wearing nothing but a towel… and those eyes...And the raging desire that pooled low on her belly was just for him. It wasn't any different that the other - many other – times she just gave in to her lust and jumped him, as she had wanted to do so many times in the past four years. So when she found herself prowling towards the bedroom while shedding her clothes in a careless path, she never really considered it strange. Nor did Logan. He didn't mind being awoken at three AM to find himself with an armful of naked Max.
It wasn't until the next day, when she woke up to Evie's indignant cries for attention that Max smelled the pheromones in the house, in the bedroom and all over the sheets. By the time Logan and her pieced together the events of the previous night and realized that she had indeed gone into heat, it was already a little too late to be worried about safe sex.
Of course the world had to screw them again.
At first they told themselves that it would be alright, that the chances of her getting pregnant again were low, that they were OK. But having gone through a hellish first month after she went into heat the last time, Max decided to play it safe, and consulted Dr. Shankar. It took only and hour to establish that she was, indeed, pregnant again. It scared her like nothing else.
Fuck.
She took a long time going back home.
Home...it hit her then. Logan and Evie WERE home for her, no matter where they were. And she had no doubt that, despite all the problems that a little (OK, a LOT) of sex had brought her,they would be OK together. And as hard as she tried to stop it, she couldn't keep the smile from her face all the way back to the house.
Logan did the guy thing, of course, and freaked about it. But in a geeky, cute way. After he stopped hyperventilating he went all 'Eyes Only' and started going over the logistics of having two genetically enhanced children about the house, plus a soon-to-be cranky and craving mother. She was so proud of him then. Her man, the cyber crusader. Then he had to go all macho and make a crack about not having to worry about protection for the next eight months. That earned him his first slap on the head. The first of many, as it turned out. Original Cindy was right, men were dogs. Even the best of them...
Weeks flew by, morning sickness gave way to bizarre cravings, Max traded her patent low-slung leather pants for Logan's gym pants, and life went on. Evie got bigger, Logan besotted with 'his girls' and Max was just...happy.
It was a night well into her twenty-eight week that all she had known went to hell. Of course…
Max was sleeping every night, sometimes all night, and it surprised her when she woke up at three in the morning. The reason became apparent as a stab of pain coursed through her stomach, leaving her panting and curled at the edge of the bed. As she tried to stand up to go to the bathroom she discovered the blood seeping from between her legs, and the disturbingly large pool it had left behind on the sheets. Even after everything was over, Max had only vague memories of how things happened, how she ended up in the hospital with a deathly grip on Logan's hand.
Logan...She knew he was scared, scared for the baby, scared for her, but he remained calm and collected, and stood by her side the whole time.
'He is perfect' she had thought. 'He's more scared than me, but he's being strong for me. For both of us.' Not for the first time, she felt she didn't deserve this man, this wonderful, loyal man that had chosen to be at her side no matter what. This man that would put his needs and fears aside so she could lean on him. In the end, it was only his love, his unshakable faith in her that helped pull her through after that night.
She had known instantly that something was wrong. Beverly had told them that the placenta had detached, and that her son's birth was imminent. Both Beverly and Dr. Stewart, the OBGyn specialized on high-risk pregnancies had assured them that the baby was mature enough to survive the birth, but they had to perform a cesarean to bring him out. Dr. Stewart also seemed concerned and anxious for Max and the safety of her son. Max had wanted to be awake, she had assured them that she could deal with just local anesthesia, but then she started bleeding again, and had to be rushed to surgery.
When she woke, she searched for Logan instinctively, and when she couldn't feel him near, she opened her eyes, which turned to be a painful endeavor. The moment she saw him standing by the window, staring forlornly into the night she knew.
"Logan...?" she rasped.
Logan turned and walked towards her, his face a mask of pain and despair. His green eyes, always so expressive didn't dance anymore.
"Max I...I'm so sorry...he..." Logan choked a sob and took her hand, "He didn't make it. The doctor said that he was stillborn..."
"No...they're wrong, He's alive! I remember...I remember hearing him cry..." Max was sure that she had heard her son cry, even while under anesthesia. She clung to that idea like a lifeline.
"Oh angel...I'm sorry. But he's gone. I'm so sorry..." His eyes had died, with their child.
Giving up any pretense of strength left, Logan laid beside her and gathered her in his arms and they grieved together.
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Max woke up with a start, covered in sweat, and choked back a ragged sob. It had been fifteen years to this day. Fifteen years…
Ever since her miscarriage Max slept uneasily. It seemed that every time she closed her eyes, this memory taunted her without regret or sympathy. It continually attacked her when she was most vulnerable.
She covered her tearing eyes with her hands, desperately trying to erase the evidence of her horrible pain and took a stinging breath inward. She choked again. Max, finally realizing Logan's presence beside her, slowly and shakily left the bed. She dragged herself to the window which was full of the black night, and rested her aching forehead against the chilly, smooth glass. Her breath caused a web of fog to jump about the glass around her quivering mouth.
"Happy…" Her voice caught in her throat, "Birthday Benjamin Cale…" Her voice finally failed, and became nothing audible to the human ear. 'I love you son…'
End chapter one.
To Proceed...
Thoughts please?
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