Have you ever had your whole world stop?
Like its just waiting to see what will happen next, what you will do?
The world has this one glimmer of hope.
Its weight hanging on that one thread.
Just praying, hoping it won't snap, and you won't fall.
Fall into chaos, into despair, into nothing.
So when you get up day after day you feel like this.
Walking on that thin line of yours.
Isolating, freezing yourself from anything.
Keeping your layer of sanity from melting.
You try not to think about it.
Filling your mind with busy thoughts.
Not letting yourself have a break because,
you know when you do you will have to think, remember it.
Grieve.
Whenever those memories come back again you can't help but laugh,
At his "What? Non-existent cat named Suzie got your tongue?"
Or that night when he chased you around the house.
Or when he watched your favorite movie with you without complaining.
Not once.
Or when he laughed at the stupid pun you made more than once,
and he laughed more than once.
You also can't help but cry when you think about
that night you danced with him in your living room
Or when he dipped and kissed you in front of the whole school
Or when he purposed to you at the place you met.
All those memories swirl in your mind.
Making you feel a calmly overwhelming sadness.
Like you are happy to see him in your mind.
Happy to hold onto him longer,
But you can't help feeling regret.
Hatred towards whoever took him.
That's what it's like when he is gone
When he is taken away, and doesn't come back
When he disappears.