A Meaningless Title
It was a strange thing for Hoenheim; being reunited with his sons. Not just because they'd grown up, but because they weren't really his anymore. Alphonse at least addressed him as 'dad', but it was more of a formality than anything. No, it didn't even feel like a formality. It was just an empty word given to Hoenheim as a reminder that his blood flowed through his sons' veins. When they had veins that is.
He wasn't bothered by it. Not at first. He had been gone from Edward and Alphonse's lives for over ten years; he could hardly blame them for their distance. He was only grateful that the boys bothered to look at him at all, let alone call him 'dad'. No matter how empty the title may have seemed.
The first time he heard Alphonse call Roy Mustang "Colonel" a pain shot through his heart that he didn't understand. When Edward shouted at the "Bastard" that pain doubled. And when Mustang responded to their calls with a flippant tone that should have been insulting but somehow came off as affectionate, Hoenheim realized what he was feeling.
Locked inside of man are seven deadly sins: Pride, Wrath, Gluttony, Lust, Sloth, Greed, and Envy.
Pride, Wrath, and Gluttony were the first sins Hoenheim rid himself of. Being the sole survivor of a once mighty nation was nothing to be proud of, and who was there to be angry at but himself? Was he not the creator of that vial homunculus that had the nerve to name itself 'father'? And gluttony was of little use to a man that couldn't die, no matter how much he ate or how much he didn't eat, he never changed. Forever the same.
Lust and Sloth were next. There were several years that Hoenheim spent indulging himself, but it was an empty life with nothing to look forward to. No love, no family. All his lust did was cause him pain. Remind him, every time, that there was nothing more for him in life. After all, what woman would want a monster? Sloth was easy, he couldn't bear to stand still. It only allowed his broken past time to catch up.
Greed was probably the hardest to let go. He wanted to be loved. He wanted a family. He wanted to be happy and to feel needed. He wanted a home and a wife and children to call his own.
And then one day, he had it all. He had everything he ever wanted.
But it wasn't enough.
Watching his happy family he couldn't help but want more. He wanted to grow old. He wanted to die. He wanted to spend the rest of his life with Trisha by his side.
And so he left to achieve that goal. Not two years later Trisha died and he realized everything he missed out on. He was so greedy for the ability to die, that he forgot how easy it was for normal humans to do so. Hoenheim was so ashamed, he couldn't even bring himself to attend her funeral. He had let Trisha down, missed those final, crucial moments of her life, all because he was too greedy to live by her side.
But no matter how hard or simple his struggle was with each of those sins, Hoenheim had never had much problem with Envy. He wanted many things, but he never begrudged those that had them in his place. Until now.
Watching his sons with Mustang was eye-opening, frightening, and sad all in one. They were so close and, despite their words, genuinely cared about each other. Edward may say "bastard" while for Alphonse it was "Colonel", but all Hoenheim heard when they spoke was "Dad". It didn't matter how long they had been together—though their almost five years was longer than he had been in the boys' lives—they were a family.
He wished Edward would call him a bastard with even half the emotion he used when referring to Mustang. He wished that Alphonse would fret over Edward's treatment of him as much as he did over Edward's treatment of the Colonel. He wished, more than anything, it was him with his boys instead of Colonel Roy Mustang. But it wasn't. And it never would be. It didn't matter if he was their father. Without the emotion it was just an empty word. A title with no meaning.
End A Meaningless Title
Kaliea: I don't like Hoenheim. Not at all. I think he's a selfish man who cares more about himself and his own wants than those of the people around him. But at the same time, I understand how hard it must have been to give up what he did. And I'm sure he thought he was doing the right thing. He wasn't, but at least he thought so. Still, I can't bring myself to give him a happy ending with the boys, there's just too much crap standing in the way between them and a healthy relationship. And while Mustang certainly isn't a candidate for 'Father of the Year', he's head and shoulders above that family ditching bastard. In my own humble opinion that is….anyway, don't forget to review!