Notes from the Author:
I've been reading and writing fics since my teenager years. I dabbled into several fandoms over times, though I mainly stuck to Ronin Warriors and later, Transformers (the later is still eating my brain, just so you know). They're the fandoms that managed to make me work seriously on my comprehension of the English language, and the main reason why today I can understand written English so well. For years, I had decided I would reserve the account to French fics only. However, it now appears to me that I rarely write in French anymore, and this account has become rather unused of late. So, I guess I can an exception for once.
More of my work can be found on my AO3 account. See the link in my profile for more information.
Warnings: AU. Takes place somewhere between episodes 5-7. Also, keep in mind that english isn't my first language, and I didn't check it up with a beta before posting. I also tend to use the Japanese names of the characters, for I'm not overly fond of the french versions, and I knew the original ones before I learned those used for the English dub.
That said, good reading!
Summary: As they leave Hokkaido to join the other Troopers, Seiji discovers something, a 'secret' Shuu hadn't told them about. Or rather, something he hadn't the time to reveal to them just yet, and they hadn't noticed right away...
Blindly
It was Seiji who first noticed the 'problem' with their friend. He noticed it while they were coming back from Hokkaido, during a break to allow Nasutei to change back into lighter clothes.
As they waited for her next to the car, Seiji couldn't stop himself from taking a good look at his brother in arms. It was by pure chance he picked up all the clues and managed to reach the right conclusion. Truly, he wondered later on how none of them had detected it before. Of course, the five of them hadn't exactly been together for long before Arago's powers scattered them across the country. They just didn't have enough time to get to know each other, aside from their original introductions. And, well, it wasn't something exactly noticeable at first, unless you just knew some little things were off.
Little things which bothered Seiji until he managed to grasp the meaning behind each of them.
At first, Seiji had picked on the other Trooper's habit to hit the ground soundly with his feet from time to time, as if he was trying to create echoes to try and guess where he was standing exactly. Then Seiji noticed the other boy wasn't looking into anybody's eyes when they talked. And, finally, the Kourin wearer was struck speechless as he saw the other Trooper's pupils' lack of reaction to the light. They didn't constrict or dilate quite like those of others people.
Blind, he realized suddenly.
Shuu was blind.
The shock of the discovery washed over him and he couldn't stop himself from gasping. Shuu turned his head toward him, blinking at his sudden exclamation.
"Shuu, you…"
Seiji wasn't able to finish his sentence, unsure of how to complete it. But it didn't seem to annoy Shuu the slightest, because he seemed to understand exactly what the blond Trooper was trying to say. He just smiled.
"Oh, this. I wondered if someone was going to notice. Don't worry, it's no problem and it will be fine. I mean, it never stopped me from fighting before."
"No problem?! You say it's not a problem?!"
Seiji moved quickly his hand right in front of Shuu's face, almost touching his nose. It didn't seem to please the bearer of Kongo.
"Seiji, I hope you realize I can see your hand when it's so close to my face," he said, annoyed. "I'm not as blind as you seem to think."
Ah. At least, Shuu could actually see something.
"Just how much can you make out?" the blond Trooper asked in a soft voice, too soft for him in fact. "How far do you see?" Hearing the other boy speak to him as if he was a kid irritated Shuu slightly, but he took a deep breath to calm himself. He was used to those questions.
"Not very far," he admitted. "I only perceived some fuzzy blots, mainly bright colors because they stand out, and even if it's right under my nose. And before you ask, no, glasses aren't helping. There is only so much they can correct, and my sight if far too low for them to be useful in a fighting situation," he added, thinking back about his family's different tries to actually improve his handicap.
"Fuzzy blots…" Dear Lord. It wasn't good. In hand-to-hand fight, Seiji didn't doubt for a second Shuu could defend himself. If anything, he had been able to handle the fight with the first Youja and hold his ground against Shuten Doji… though, to be honest, the Oni Masho had literally whipped the floor with them. Based on those events, Seiji has no doubt Shuu could handle most things thrown at him. But would he be able to defend himself against archers, with so little visual acuity? "You shouldn't fight when you…!"
Shuu's face, which had been open and friendly until now, became automatically blank .
"Seiji, don't you dare finish your sentence. I hate it when people think I'm stupid or helpless just because I don't happen to have a perfect vision." His fist tightened. "I'm not stumbling every two steps. I don't need a cane to walk. I can easily throw you over my shoulder or break your limbs if I really try, and I wouldn't even need the armor to do that. My eyes might not be as good as yours, but. I. Am. Not. Weak."
Seiji tried to defend himself.
"I… I didn't want to imply… I wouldn't dare! Not after seeing what Ryo did for me, when he too was blind!"
Shuu raised an eyebrow, a little worried.
"Ryo? Blind ? Are you having me on? Seiji, what exactly are you talking about? 'Cause I'm damn near sure our common friend has no sight problem!"
Seiji bit his lip. He hadn't managed to tell Shuu the whole story of what happened in the Akiyoshi caverns. At the most, he had explained that Ryo had saved him from Naaza and freed him from his prison.
"He had to fight without seeing anything, after Naaza blinded him. He threw poison into his eyes." Shuu swore.
"Oh, f…! Seiji, please, tell me you kicked that bastard down!"
Seiji smirked and chuckled a bit.
"I'm not sure I managed to kill him, but I certainly hit him good."
Shuu smiled viciously. Seiji coughed slightly.
"I managed to heal Ryo, just so you know. I managed to heal his eyes with the power granted to me and my sword by the light. Perhaps I could…" he offered, cheeks slightly flushed, feeling a bit bold.
Shuu blinked rapidly and had to laugh. It wasn't a happy laugh, though. But neither was it a sad or mocking one. Gently, Shuu raised a hand to pat Seiji's own.
"Oh, Seiji… I don't think you'll be able to do much. And even if you could, I wouldn't accept your offer. Not now. And perhaps never."
Seiji stayed frozen for a second. He just didn't understand how someone blind could refuse to have the chance to see.
"Why? Why wouldn't you ?"
"Because I'm blind since I was born, Seiji," Shuu explained patiently. "I can't remember a time where the world wasn't just a big, blurry picture, even with the correctional glasses my parents insisted on early on. I could see colors, I could see the difference between night and day. But shapes… They're beyond me. Oh, sure, some will argue that, because I can distinguish them, I'm not really blind, but it's false. In the eyes of the law, you're blind the moment you're visually impaired enough which, sadly, is my case. I just don't have more than 20/200 of visual acuity, be it central or peripheral. I never saw the world in anything but indistinct blots. And 'saw' is quite a big word. The glasses helped a bit, sure, but not enough to take the fuzziness out. I grew up with the words 'legally blind' stamped over my forehead. But you know what? It never bothered me that much. Perhaps because I never knew anything else, but, well, you get the idea. I was taught early on that seeing wasn't that important anyway, so long I was happy. My Mom taught me Kung Fu to be sure that I would never be defenceless, and other teachers taught me how to be at ease with my surrounding, and how to live with my handicap. I know how to fight, how to live without having to rely on eyesight. It's part of me. If I had to suddenly… 'Heal' from my 'infirmity'; I wouldn't know what to do with myself. I would have to learn to live and fight again, in a different way, with a sense I never relied much on to begin with. It would make me too vulnerable, especially in our present situation."
Seiji opened his mouth to protest, but closed it almost as soon. There was, he had to admit, some logic in Shuu's speech. Just like Ryo had found himself lost and vulnerable with the lost of his eyesight, Shuu could very well feel the same thing with the sudden return – or the discovery – of something basically unknown to him. And, with enemies having pledged their death before them, the slightest wrong move could mean their death…
Shuu seemed to sense his moral conflict. He patted him again.
"It's not so bad, I swear. Besides…" He hesitated. "Seiji… I don't see like you or the others, but I can sense things… Perhaps it's because I'm the bearer of Kongo, perhaps it's because I'm closely linked with the earth, but honestly, I don't have a problem moving or knowing where I am. And if I don't 'see' you, I 'sense' you. I can follow any gesture you do. Hey, right now, you just crossed your arms over your chest! And ever since we started talking, you hearth rate accelerated, as well as your breathing! I guess it's because it's a bit stressful…"
It was true. Seiji couldn't swear about his hearth beating faster, but yes, he effectively had crossed his arms.
"But how did you…?" he started to ask.
Shuu shrugged.
"The way the air moves with you when you do something, the wheeze when you're breathing and the beats of your heart. I can hear them all very clearly. Come on, why are you surprised? My other senses just developed more to make up for my deficient sight. I've got a very good hearing, by the way. And…"
Shuu took a deep breath and hit the ground with his heel.
"I know Nasutei is about twenty meters away from us, on the left, and that she can't hear what we're talking about. There is a wall of about ten centimeters between her and us, after all. I can hear her walk… no, no, not hear exactly, but despite the wall and the distance, I can pick up the vibration in the ground when she walks. That, Seiji, is my trump card. The ground is my most precious allies. It gives me everything I need to know. I know where the obstacles are, where the buildings are standing, about how high they are, where everything is located! I just need to give a good kick in the ground, just once, and wait for the echoes to settle and I get about as much information my eyes could give me." Seiji wasn't too sure about that, but didn't interrupt. "Echolocation isn't always easy, especially in rushed situations, but I have a knack for it. Do you know the steps of everyone feel different to me? I can identify you and Nasutei just by the way you walk. Just let me with Ryo and Shin and Touma long enough, and I'll be able to do the same for them. No way I attack them accidentally."
"Vibrations in the ground," Seiji whispered, musing. "Of course… this is what you used to find us and the Youja in Shinjuku, isn't it?
Shuu nodded.
"Yeah. He wasn't walking quite right. And I don't just mean the very loud stepping. It was also the weight, you see? It was both too heavy and too light for a human being. I don't have too much problem sensing what someone is doing with a naginata or a kusari-gama, or a saber, really. I 'see' them coming at me, because they're part of the image forming in my head when I rely on what the ground tell me. I could do that well enough when I was a kid, but ever since I picked the yoroi… I 'see' even better, and far more than a normal blind man could. It's… it's not easy to explain, and it's a bit freaky, but before, a kick could give me the general layout of a room. Now, with Kongo on my side, be it in full armor and just with the sub armor, the same kick will give me the layout of the entire street, or even the block!" He sounded excited and a bit wary. "Sure, it's a pain sometimes to remember everything, but damn… So long it touches the ground, it won't escape my notice."
Seiji closed his eyes and contemplated what Shuu had just told him. In a way, it was very lucky for the Chinese boy that his element had been earth. Bound to it by his armor, it had granted him an advantage that would have been a weakness for any of the other Troopers. Everybody had to, at some point, stand upon the ground. Gravity ensured that. In a way, they could use Shuu to scout an area, so to speak, and know where they would encounter enemy fighters once they attacked the Youja seriously. It was… it was an enormous tactical advantage. Still, Seiji frowned as he recalled one of his earlier worries.
"What about the moment your feet don't touch the ground anymore? You can't use the vibration anymore, can you? And many of our attacks force us to jump high before landing a kick…"
Shuu nodded once more.
"True, I can't always rely on my 'earth sight', but as I pointed out earlier, I can also follow air disturbance and voices too. I'm not deaf, you know? Though I'm sure I would be even better at it if I was better with all that spiritual stuff…" His eyes glazed over as he seemed to ponder something. "Anyway, as long as I have a good understanding of where everything is, I can jump and attack in the air, no problem, even if I prefer not to. It's really not easy, sometimes. But, ask me to jump to the top of a building, and as long as I have a good footing and my armor on the back, I will be able to do so in seconds. Just as long as I have a firm surface underneath my feet, I will manage."
"And archers? Do you have a way to counter a projectile flying at you?" Seiji asked, quite skeptically. He could trust Shuu's analysis of what he could and couldn't do, but he rather doubted his comrade could handle everything thrown at him. And their enemies were sneaky and the Kourin wearer doubted they failed to take advantage of Shuu's blindness should they learn about it.
He knew he was right, because Shuu grimaced.
"Ah, yeah… about that… it's kinda hard, I admit. I need to avoid the arrows at the last minute. Same thing with whatever is send my way and not connected anymore to someone's hand… A shuriken, a rock - hum, perhaps not rocks; they're close enought to my element to not bother me. Still, projectiles remain my very big weakness, you could say." He passed a hand in his hairs, embarrassed.
Seiji took a pensive expression. "You'll need someone to be your eyes in those cases, will you not?"
Shuu smiled faintly. It was a way to putting it. "Are you proposing yourself for the job?" he asked. He had meant it to be humorous, but Seiji seemed to take him seriously.
"And why not?"
This made Shuu almost jump in surprise.
"Seiji," he started, unsure. The blonde Trooper stopped him before he could pronounce another word.
"Hear me out. We don't know what we'll have to face off. What is sure, however, is that both Nasutei and Jun encountered archers. It's very likely we'll meet some ourselves at some point. I trust you, Shuu. I trust you to know your strengths, your weaknesses and your limits. I know you'll hold your own in hand-to-hand, or with your staff. I trust you to seek our help if you think you're not able to do something." He saw Shuu blush a little. Obviously, the strong-headed Troopers didn't want to have to ask for help. Too bad for him, because Seiji would make sure he would receive some. "But despite this trust, I can't help but worry for you, especially if our enemies notice your… small problem. So let me help you and be your second eye if we need to fight adversaries out of your reach. Please."
To give more weight to his words, he bowed deeply. Shuu gulped.
"Well, I… I wasn't expecting you to… Couldn't… couldn't we speak about this later? Like, once we're all together again? Or when we have won that stupid war?"
Seiji watched him for a while. Yes, he could understand Shuu's hesitation. He was supposed to be a Trooper, a protector of Ningen. But what kind of warrior would he be, if he had to rely so much upon someone else? Shuu was proud, and Seiji guessed just asking or being offered something he actually needed wasn't easy for him. He probably felt it was shaming and made him look bad. But Seiji also knew they wouldn't succeed unless they all could rely on each other. Their little team just couldn't go and fight if they didn't know they had to be extra careful around one of their members. He thought briefly of Touma, with his arrows, and the bad situation they could lend in if the archer didn't know Shuu couldn't see him shot and avoid the arrows without being guided.
Shuu, however, didn't seem to have thought about it.
"… You realize we'll not be able to hide this from the others, right? Just to avoid problems?"
Shuu sighed. Without being privy to Seiji's thoughts, he too knew he needed to share his little involuntary secret with the other Troopers.
"Of course not. I never intended to hid it from anyone, you know? I still don't. But you see… it's not like we even had the time to speak about it, right? Between the Youja, and Shuten Doji and everything… I… I don't want to lie to them, I didn't want to. We just lacked time for them to notice and I wasn't feeling comfortable enough to speak about this with near strangers. I know I need to. But… I don't know how they will react. I'm afraid they'll find me lacking and be disappointed with me," he finished, his voice barely a whisper.
Seiji blinked. Well, time to correct a misconception, then.
"I don't think they'll think less of you or that'll they hate you for omitting something. I'm sure they'll understand you just waited to see if they were trustworthy or observant enough before talking to them. I'm not angry with you, Shuu. I'm pretty sure Ryo will not, either. You're our comrade, our brother in arms. And at worse, I think you'll become the very sheltered 'little brother' of our group," he joked.
Shuu moaned exaggeratedly and took his head between his hands."Please, I beg you! Don't treat me like a little kid. I'm already treated like that at home with my brothers and sisters, it's a nightmare!"
Seiji laughed out loud and gave his comrade a friendly pat on the shoulder.
"I don't know what the future will be like, Shuu. But I can promise you we will not let you down, nor will we think less of you because you can't actually see us with your eyes. If anything, your will to fight even with your… sight problem is awe-inspiring and should make us feel humbled. I would be honored to fight by your side, as a comrade… and to be considered your friend."
Seiji bowed again. Shuu's eyes went round, and he tried to gaze at Seiji's face. Without the thick, thick glasses that allowed him to at least clear some of the outline of what he was looking at, he couldn't actually discern Seiji. However, with that mop of blond hairs and the green blot his armored body made against the grey of the wall, it wasn't too hard to find him. Shuu stared sightlessly at him for a minute. Then, a large smile appeared on his face.
"Me too, Seiji. I would be honored to be considered your friend…"
End
For information, most of Shuu's abilities have been inspired by the awesome character of Toph Bei Fong from Avatar: The Last Airbender. The 'legally blind' rather than 'totally blind' choice was made after I remembered an old CSI episode featuring a blind guy, though he wasn't totally blind, if I remember correctly. 'Blindly' is also available on my livejournal and AO3 accounts. You might expect more stories soon on AO3.
