This is just a quick story to help me work through some frustrations; it takes place after my Loyalty and Bruises story (for those of you who haven't been reading that don't worry, just know that Arthur knows about Merlin's magic). Arthur is King and Merlin is the Court Sorcerer.

I hope you enjoy this, there is not a lot of plot but there is a nice little whump story behind this whole thing. Also I know this is not my best story but the thought came to me during my hour commute this morning (ok so maybe its only 52 minutes, but really what is 8 minutes anyway?) and I had to write it down because it was a wonderful hurt/comfort, guilt story that I just wanted to put on paper.

Enjoy!

It was three days after they had been ambushed that the knights finally caught up with the bandits. That was three days that Merlin had been in their hands. Three days that he was at the mercy of those wicked men. When they finally found the badly defended camp, it took all of Arthur's authority and might to keep the knights, Gwaine specifically, from tearing through the camp, haphazardly killing anyone he could find who wasn't the warlock they were looking for. When they finally made it to the fire-illuminated perimeter, Arthur had a hard time restraining his own dark thoughts. He had promised, all those years ago he had promised that nothing like this would ever happen again, he had promised he wouldn't let it happen and just like before he had allowed Merlin to get stuck in a position where he could again be killed. Only this time those crazy enough to try to capture him, knew about the magic. The guilt had been clawing at his heart for the last three days, ever since they had woken to find their resident warlock gone after the attack. Morgana had to be behind this; she would be the only one with enough gall, resources, and anger to take the man from under the King's nose. They had to get him back and by the gods he would kill anyone who got in his way.

He signaled to the knights, they knew what to do but it still made him feel better to give the order. They split into three groups, Percival and Elyan went left, Gwaine and Leon went right, and Arthur took the center. He had given the men orders to keep the killing to a minimum until after they had found Merlin but not even he would be able to control them once they had their friend back in their possession.

Arthur crept quickly through the jumbled mess that was the bandits' tents, moving silently on sure feet, Excalibur ready at his side. He assumed Merlin would be somewhere in the center of the camp, it wouldn't make sense to keep him anywhere else, they would want to keep an eye on him at all times. As he stalked along, his mind began to assail him with all the ways he could find his brother, dead was the worst way but his mind was conjuring up ways that would be almost as horrible. Shaking his head, he cleared his mind and focused on the task at hand when he realized that he was close to the center of the camp. And there, just as he had predicted, was a tent guarded by two dozing guards. That had to be where they were keeping Merlin. He realized he could easily kill the guards but knew that with their inattentiveness, he could just sneak under the far side of the tent. Moving around the opposite side on quiet feet, he slipped under the rough fabric of the tent.

It took his eyes a moment to adjust to the absolute darkness in the tent but when they did, a sight that flipped his stomach greeted him. Merlin was there all right but he looked worse than anything Arthur had been able to conjure up on the way to the tent. He was leaned brokenly against the supporting pole, his eyes were closed and his breathing sounded harsh. Even in the dim light, Arthur could see the shattered state of his brother. His leg was stretched out in front of him, twisted at an awkward angle and as the King approached he saw the thick manacles on his wrists. Crouching down in front of the warlock, Arthur took a better look at the chains and he noticed the strange writing around their circumference, he couldn't read the language but he knew what they were for. Once they had been down in the dungeons when Merlin had grabbed for a pair of manacles and recoiled like he had been burned. The clatter of metal had scared Arthur and he remembered turning with a sarcastic comment only to find the pale face of his friend. Instantly he was on alert and checking the warlock over before he asked what was wrong. Merlin had explained that the chains were to contain magic-users, that they were designed to constantly cause pain to anyone with magic when the irons were in contact with their skin. Arthur had ordered the shackles destroyed but apparently these bandits had found their own set. The King knew he needed to get these off before he did anything else. That's when the tent ruffled.

Arthur was on his feet in an instant, his sword ready to skewer anyone who got too close, when Gwaine shuffled under the cloth followed closely by Leon. That just meant that Percival and Elyan would be showing up soon. After realizing there was no threat, Arthur crouched back down in front of Merlin, ignoring Gwaine's whispered accusations fueled by the fact that Merlin was still in this tent. Arthur hushed him quickly and laid his hand against the warlock's cheek, he needed to make sure that on top of everything else, he didn't scare him.

The King could feel the bruising on the warlock's cheek, and the odd set of the bone beneath the skin when he suddenly realized there was a good chance these bastards had broken his jaw as well as his leg. Must've mouthed off again… With the soft contact, Merlin's eyes snapped open and even in the dark Arthur could see the pain and fear written in them. It took his brother a moment to realize who was in the room with him but as soon as he did, relief and anger flooded his expression in equal amounts.

"…r'th'r", he garbled in a daze. Yup definitely a broken jaw, Arthur thought to himself.

"It's me, Merlin."

The next slurred statement felt like a knife to the heart, "…rom'sed". Arthur knew exactly what he meant. That promise had meant so much to Merlin, it had made him feel safe in a world that was turned upside down, and now Arthur had broken that trust. The guilt came back ten-fold but he couldn't let that in right now, he had to get him out, they would deal with this after they were far away from here. Still, the King couldn't ignore the accusation so keeping his hand where he had left it; Arthur leaned close so the other knights couldn't hear.

"I know, Merlin. I'm so sorry, I tried, I swear to the gods I tried, to get here sooner, but we're going to get you out of here now. Please just trust me for a little longer."

When the King leaned back, he caught Merlin's eye again and saw forgiveness underscored by confusion, concussion as well then. Moving gently he shifted the warlock so he could cut the shackles off. Percival and Elyan had long since shuffled through the course fabric at the back of the tent and they were standing with Leon near the flap while Gwaine hovered behind Arthur.

Grabbing Excalibur, Arthur drew the blade against the metal of the clasp. A second pass saw the first iron fall away and with two more passes, Merlin was free of the bonds. As the metal fell off, the blistered, broken skin underneath was revealed. The warlock hadn't been exaggerating when he had told the King that the cuffs were designed to burn any magic user they were clamped on. With the release of the magical manacles, Merlin's eyes slipped closed again. Arthur took the respite of unconsciousness to look him over more carefully, disgusted by what he saw. The bruising surrounding the break highlighted the obviously broken jaw, and Arthur felt his anger rising because as he looked more closely he noticed the deep bruising around his throat, shaped like a hand. One of the bastards had strangled him too. Arthur had to swallow back bile but he had to keep going. Knowing that hidden injuries were as dangerous as visible ones, Arthur carefully lifted the torn jacket and shirt. The bandits had not stopped at the strangling, Merlin had been beaten as well, the dark map of black and blue was testament enough to that. Deep bruising around his ribs detailed how brutal the beating had been. Apparently the bandits hadn't cared what happened to their captive. He knew they needed to leave, had to get back to Camelot. Quickly judging the situation, Arthur slipped his arms behind Merlin's back and under his knees, careful of the state of his leg. Gwaine looked like spitting fire and his sword was at the ready.

As soon as Arthur was standing, the knight gathered around. The King could see the fury written on all their faces.

"We have to get him to Camelot but we need to move quickly. Kill only those you need to, don't waste time going after everyone for revenge," he looked to Gwaine specifically, "I won't wait for you. As soon as I get clear, I'm leaving, so stay close to me. We can't go back out the back of the tent, not without cutting through the fabric and that will take too long. Percival, Leon you kill the two guards at the front of the tent and cut your way to the tree line if you have to. Elyan, Gwaine, cover me and don't get bogged down. " He looked at each knight singularly, holding their gaze and ensuring he had their attention. "Keep moving forward, don't bother killing if its not needed. I understand revenge but right now we have something more to worry about. We have to protect Merlin, once he's back at Camelot we can plan our revenge. Until that time, get home first." Even Gwaine nodded his grim approval of the plan.

At a signal from Arthur, Leon and Percival stepped into the night and at the sound of heavy bodies hitting the earth, the half-cocked, scrambled scheme started.

All the knights had managed to make it to the tree line; thankfully they were coming through at an early enough time that the majority of the men were still sleeping. It was only an unlucky few that met the blades of the knights.

The group of Camelot's finest kept moving until daybreak, Arthur still resolutely clutching Merlin's slim frame to him. It was only with the light of day they decided to stop for a short time. Arthur and Leon did what they could for Merlin's wounds but they were far too extensive for them to treat with any real skill. Leon had stepped away to gather water when Merlin opened his eyes, startling Arthur. Merlin tried desperately to talk past the swollen jaw and it took all Arthur's concentration, but he did eventually understand what the warlock was trying to say.

"'ot yur fa'lt 'rth'r." He had to stop to swallow back blood; the King knew this because he didn't quite catch it and the red liquid dribbled past his swollen lips. Arthur moved to wipe it away when the injured man continued, "S'rri said i't w's, did't me'n it."

Arthur could tell that talking hurt and for right now he didn't want Merlin taking away his chance to punish himself for his incompetence, "Stop Merlin, please just stop. I know it's my fault. Don't try to make me feel better. But I'm going to make it up to you. We'll get you back to Gaius and he'll fix you up and you'll be all right." He paused and hoping to put a little humor into the situation tried the smug response he would have used when they were still master and servant, "I would say I would give you the day off for this but you already don't do anything as court sorcerer." Merlin gave a strangled snort that seemed like a laugh but was quickly smothered by a hacking cough that sounded like it was attempting to break more ribs and shatter his already broken job. Arthur quickly moved to wipe the fresh blood from his brother's chin and tried to get him to drink a little water. Short break finished, Arthur stooped to pick Merlin back up when a suggestion from Percival stopped him.

"We should make a stretcher." The big knight stated before continuing, "we could move faster and it would keep his leg in a better position than you carrying him Arthur."

The group agreed with the stoic knight's suggestion and within a short time, had created a stretcher that would do the job. With a little water and a small amount of bread, the group was off again. When they had caught up with the bandits there were at least three days from Camelot but by Arthur's calculations they should be able to make it back at the end of two if they kept moving and only stopped for minimal distractions, like eating.

It was the middle of the second day when the turret of the castle came into view. All the knights were exhausted but the sight of the turret heartened them and they continued the blistering pace Arthur had set after they left the camp.

When they made it to the lower town, it was evening but there were still enough citizens milling in the fading sun to make travel a problem. Those who noticed the disheveled, tousled knights immediately jumped out of the way, the issue was those who were walking before them and didn't realize they were attempting to get through. Arthur watched as Gwaine's hand moved toward his sword but it was Percival's normally quiet voice that broke the tension.

"Move out of the way!"

The exclamation of the knight startled those who were distractedly walking in front of him and those people sheepishly began to tug on the cloaks of those in front of them. With the parting of the crowds, the knights made it to the massive gate leading to the castle.

Arthur could hear the murmurs filtering their way through the crowd; he knew the people could see Merlin and knew that they were trying to figure out why their court sorcerer was bruised, unconscious, and held between the King and one of his Knights.

The guards at the gate had the intelligence to open the gates before Arthur got to them and they wasted no time heading straight to Gaius' chambers. With the warlock safely ensconced in the patient bed, Gaius tried to shoo them out of the chamber but after a few unsuccessful tries the aging physician relinquished himself to having the King, his Queen, and his Knights in the room for the rest of the night.

Gaius, with the help of Gwen, managed to set Merlin's jaw and mangled leg. It was a painful process that even the knights cringed while watching. Gaius was forced to re-break the bones of both injuries in order to properly set them. And once he was finished Arthur and Gwaine both moved over to the bedside where they resolved to sit until their friend woke.

It was another two days before Gaius finally started to wean Merlin out of the perpetually drugged state he had been suspended in and when he finally came to, he met a sight that he did not even think was possible. All of the knights who had saved him were crammed around the bed with Gwen and Gaius, had it not been for the tightly packed pillows keeping him from moving, he probably would have fallen from the bed out of fright.

When everything finally calmed down, Merlin asked to speak to Arthur (at least as well as he could around the healing jaw bone). Gwaine was the only one hesitant to leave but after promising he would be waiting outside incase the King did something stupid, he stepped out of the room. As the door closed, Merlin looked searchingly at Arthur, trying to come up with the right thing to say. But the King beat him to it,

"I'm sorry Merlin. I am so, so sorry. That should have never happened, we should have been prepared for an attack, should have been more ready to defend each other. Instead you were once again injured."

"'rth'r, st'p."

The command was whispered and the King just kept going, "I know the promise I made you, I remember the day I made it and I will forever be attempting to repair the trust I broke with the breaking of that vow. You were right to blame me for this."

Merlin spoke with a little more power then, "'ot yur fa'lt, 'rth'r. M'rgana, 'ot yurs." With this declaration he had the King's attention, "I d'n't b'ame yu. Truss yu st'll."

"But you said…"

"'no wa sa'd, d'dn't me'n it. T'red nd h'rt."

Arthur had to chew this information over for a moment. He was well aware that it was his fault, had seen it written all over Merlin's face when they had finally got to him, but now that same man was telling him it was a mistake, that he didn't blame him. The King wasn't quite sure how to take it. Merlin, the only one to ever be able to read Arthur at all times, spoke up one more time.

"'ot yur fa'lt, sop hin'ing is."

The King knew that talking hurt and so dropped the argument here, "We'll talk about it when you're healed, for right now, just know that I am sorry Merlin."

"S'o'ay, be f'ne."

His eyes started to droop and Arthur knew it was time for him to get back to resting, "Go to sleep Merlin, you're safe now."

Nodding absentmindedly, the warlock drifted off into what Arthur could only hope was restful sleep.

It took another month before Merlin was able to talk normally and Arthur and the Knights had visited him every day.

It was late in the afternoon when Merlin finally decided to broach the subject of Arthur's guilt a second time. The King was sitting at the table with him, inattentively picking at his food and Merlin knew that he only ever did that when something was weighing heavily on his mind. It did not take a genius to figure out what that something was, since their conversation near a month ago, Arthur had been especially devoted, he was always in the room whenever he could be and ensured that the warlock had whatever he needed. It was time for this to end.

"It's n't your fault, 'rth'r,", even with the healing he still had trouble with the King's name.

Arthur's face snapped to his like he had been slapped, "How can you say that now Merlin? You know as well as I do that it is. I made a promise to you and I broke it. I promised you would be safe, that I wouldn't let anything like that happen again and it did. Do not offer forgiveness where there should be none offered."

"Lissen you 'rat," his customary insult turning into Arthur's favorite meal with his anger fueling his words, "you 'ould n't 'ontrol wah happened, and you saved me, I can find no fa'lt wih 'ha."

"But you should Merlin, you should blame me." The King was up off the bench now, pacing back and forth in front of the table, before he stopped and looked the warlock straight in the eyes, "I blame me." Before the pacing started back up again.

"S'op then. I truss you, and you canno' 'ake blame I won't lay. Please 'rth'r. If you can't truss yourself, truss me."

The King stopped dead in his tracks, "Why do you still trust me? After everything you've gone through because of me, why do you still trust me?"

"I believe in you 'rth'r. S'ill do, always will. You're my brother, remember."

Arthur sat down heavily on the bench and regarded the man before him, the man whose unfailing loyalty had gotten him into more trouble than any other cause. If the person who had been injured still trusted him, why could he not trust himself? He looked at the confidence in his brother's eyes and realized that was for him. It would take time but they would get passed this, just like they had gotten passed anything that had ever been thrown at them. For another moment, Arthur studied him before finding the right words,

"I believe in you Merlin. And even if I think that your trust in me is misplaced, I will never question your judgment."

Merlin gave him an odd, crooked, half-smile before going back to the porridge in front of him. Arthur couldn't help it,

"So does this mean you're done lazing around up here?"

Alright so I know it's not my best but I'm having a shitty week at work and needed to write some quick angsty stuff to work through my own frustrations. I hope you enjoyed the read and keep looking for Loyalty and Bruises, I'm working on it but it keeps getting pushed to the backburner with the work stuff I'm overloaded with.

I hope everything is going swimmingly with all of you out there in fanfic land and continue to be the absolutely amazing people you always are!

Best,

Lily