D-San: Hey, everyone! I'm back from a really long unproclaimed haitus. I apologize. But, I have good news! I'm uploading this story, and I got a new shorthand for my name! My friend Andy made it for me, but Bel finalized it.

Bel: So, D-chan's shorthand is this. *Holds up a sign that says D*

Gokudera: That's good and all, but what does it stand for?

Bel: De.

Gokudera: Yeah, what does it stand for?

Bel: *Growing increasingly irritated* De.

Gokudera: *Also growing irritated* Yeah, what does it stand for?

Bel: De!

Gokudera: YEAH, WHAT DOES IT STAND FOR?

Bel: DE!

Gokudera: WHAT DOES IT STAND FOR?

Bel: DE! D-E; the first letters in DEtective!

Gokudera: ...Oh.

D-San: Anyone who got that reference up there gets a special dedication in a series of Varia one-shots I'm going to do.

Bel: Finally; let the real badasses get the spotlight.

Namimori, Japan

Namimori Junior High School

12:34 PM

~ * ( † ) * ~

Stranger things have happened around Namimori Junior High. A tiny wimpy kid has been tearing off his clothes and running around screaming "I'LL blah blah blah WITH MY DYING WILL" lately, and there have been unexplained holes and ditches in the baseball fields. There have been way more explosions, too. And there's been this smell of smoking fatty tuna coming from inside the fire hydrant box…one would think that with the head prefect Hibari Kyoya walking around, there wouldn't be mishaps like that. He bit a kid to death for dropping his school books in a water-filled ditch in the baseball field! You would think that Hibari would prevent the obscene, disturbing, confusing, and strange things that happened around Namimori. But even as students looked up at the roof right now, they noticed that what they were seeing was just…plain…weird.

There was what appeared to be a girl sitting on the top of the gate that barred off the edge of the roof from a good five story drop to the ground. She was wearing a dark green uniform complete with pants, military-styled hat, and shirt; one would notice that she came from Kokuyo. She didn't look like any normal Japanese girl; she had platinum hair, first of all. She must have been a beach bunny or something. She kicked her legs against the fence, almost like she was waiting for someone. She looked behind her, and slid to the outside of the fence to make some distance between her and her pursuer. A crowd had gathered down below to watch the scene. The girl finally took a leap of truth, and fell down to the ground below.

Wait-wait-wait-wait-what? Huh? How? Yeah, I don't understand either—let's go back to earlier in the day, shall we? No, in fact, let's take a trip into the past…

~ * ( † ) * ~

Namimori, Japan, two years ago…

House 34; Enigmar Residence

5:23 AM

~ * ( † ) * ~

Enigmar Shion; age 12, five feet, five inches, thought to be of the Norwegian ethnicity, and adopted by local psychologist Enigmar Kasuwaka. Said psychologist had caught the interest of tiny toddler scientist Verde, who held his main lab in Kasuwaka's guest house…yards away from the main house. Verde only came to the main house to observe changes in Shion's schedule, height, and weight, and then he would flee using one of the many systems coursing through the house. The three made for a dysfunctional—well, Verde didn't prefer to be a part of the "family"—family in the strict sense of the word. Verde tried to force his scientific conventions onto Shion, while Kasuwaka taught her how to analyze and group people. All in all, it's a wonder why Shion didn't turn out stranger than she already was.

"Well, why's it a wonder", you might ask? Well, to wonder why Shion isn't a perpetual nutcase, we have to look back into Kasuwaka's history (as well as her own, but when we reach that bridge, we'll cross it). Before he was a local psychologist for the mafia, he was connected to the Estraneo Famiglia. He wasn't as much a part of the famiglia as he was a…affiliate. His grandfather and his father were parts of the famiglia, so it was only inevitable that Kasuwaka be in some way related to the scientists. He didn't approve of experimenting on children, and so he stopped helping his father and grandfather with funding, personality screening, and things like that. That was a few months before the massacre of the Estraneo Famiglia. Shortly after cutting himself off from the family, he met Verde in a small coffee shop that scooped thick black sludge out of a depressing drum and poured it into cracked mugs. Then, a few months after that, Kasuwaka looked into the adoption process and scooped up tiny little six-year-old Shion from the orphanage. It was a seemingly normal picture back then, and Kasuwaka was doing a good job at keeping Shion away from her past, as well as away from his.

Until that fateful night two years ago. Have you ever had a dream where some middle school kid with one blue eye and one red eye said, "I know you helped those monsters; give me compensation or die"? Yeah, Kasuwaka had those dreams, too. Only the dreams were real and he was really being threatened. However, Kasuwaka had an adopted daughter who cared about him very much and offered to take his place, since he knew nothing about fighting and was at the most a psychologist for the common mafia man. Kasuwaka remembered that night; he had been in his bed when the accursed boy showed up in his room. Kasuwaka had yelled when the kanji in his eye switched from one to six, and that was when Shion came into the room and stood eye to eye with the boy's subordinates in the doorway.

"I'll take my father's place", was Shion's short yet noble statement. There wasn't any more that needed to be said.

"Who are you to atone for the sins of this man?" The boy asked, the kanji in his eye switching from one to three. Was that good or bad?

"I'm his daughter of four years. It would be better for someone younger to take his place, right?"

"Hm…" The boy paused.

"I have an idea, Mukuro-san; let's not let her in and let's just kill her dad!" Shion turned her glare onto a blonde boy who was sitting right on the foot of the bed that Kasuwaka was sleeping—now peeing—in.

"Don't touch him." Shion's voice became softer, lower, as she said, "I'll repay his debt."

"Kufufufu." The boy, "Mukuro-sama", turned his attention away from Kasuwaka and focused on Shion. "Your father's debt is heavy, girl."

"If there is any way I can lighten his load, I'll do it."

"Can you wash all of the blood off of your father's hands?"

"No." Kasuwaka whimpered as he heard the snarl of some sort of beast. "Keep them away from my father."

"Perhaps I can use him as a source of collateral, so that you may never betray me."

"She's useless, Mukuro-sama."

"Not as much as you might think, Chikusa." Mukuro turned to male wearing a white beanie, and a slimy smile graced his face. "She'll be our pet. Do all of our dirty work. She'll be a tidier-looking Ken."

"Mukuro-san, that's low!" The boy named Ken snarled, looming over Kasuwaka's head.

"I'll do whatever you want." Shion had said with finality. "I can cook, I can clean, I can steal, I can fight. Just assure me that my father will come out okay."

"Kufufufu. I can't assure that. But I shall take you up on your generous offer…"

"Shion. Enigmar Shion."

~ * ( † ) * ~

Namimori, Japan, Present day, present time

~ * ( † ) * ~

For the last two years, Shion had donned the Kokuyo uniform and acted as Kokuyo Land's personal cleaning lady, support screener, and security guard on nights of high alert. Recently, she's stalked around Namimori Junior High. She would usually dress in loose-fitting clothing and cover her platinum locks that would stand out even in a crowd. She would slide on dark shades to hide her light blue eyes as well, since they would also draw attention. In this "disguise", she marauded around Namimori as "Rokudo Mukuro"—in case anyone asked. For months, she compiled evidence for Mukuro's "grand master plan". She wrote down Namimori's Disciplinary Committee, and then sifted out the strongest through weeks of prolonged surveillance. After that, she wrote down "Insane Asylum Patient #1—NCOF (No Clothes, On Fire)", who Mukuro said was Sawada Tsunayoshi. Then she wrote down "Insane Asylum Patient #2—Bomber Man", who was Gokudera Hayato. Then there was "The Sane One—Yamamoto Takeshi" (Mukuro was actually amused at how Shion took the time to learn his name). There was also one more person, which is where we are presently—thank god we actually caught up to the plot.

~ * ( † ) * ~

Enigmar Shion was walking through the halls of Namimori, in her "Rokudo Mukuro" disguise. She adjusted the shades that sat over her eyes, and tucked some stray blonde locks back underneath her hat. She was holding the pseudo-completed "hit list" in her hand, and she was looking to fill the last empty line at the bottom of the page. Who would she put in that area, she wondered. She stopped in place, took a pen out of her jacket's pocket protector, and then took the cap off of it with her teeth. She had spent a long time gathering this list and making sure it was perfect.

"The strongest, right? Alright; let's stir up some trouble, as Ken would say."

Shion looked for the number one object in the school that would cause enough of an uproar to draw attention from "the strongest". The fire alarm. There it was, in all of its bright red, untouched glory. Without even wincing at the consequences, Shion placed her fingers around the lever and prepared to pull downwards. All of the students were in their classes, so there was nobody to stop her. With a definitive tug downwards, the fire alarm rang throughout the school. Now it was only a matter of disappearing into the crowd and out of harm's way.

"You had the audacity to pull it in front of my face." Shion turned, and she saw a raven-haired boy standing off to the side. As students scrambled for the doors, he stood resolute, glaring at the intruder—no, the prey. "I'll bite you to death."

Shion tipped her hat to the boy, and then ran for the roof. She jumped over a cluster of three or four girls, the boy following right in her tracks. She planted her hands on a small brunette boy's shoulders—hey, she noticed him as Sawada Tsunayoshi—and then flipped over him to get to the staircase to the roof. She heard a cry of "Juudaime!" and then two pairs of footsteps were pursuing her. Shion finally made it to the rooftop, but it seemed to be a gated dead end. She stopped in the middle of the roof, adjusted her gloves, and then turned towards the door. She figured that she would either have to fight or jump. She didn't want to do either. But, these are the kinds of situations you get into when you work for Rokudo Mukuro, Shion thought with a grimace.

The raven haired boy burst through the door to the roof, and instantly started to attack. Shion blocked one of his tonfas with her glove. A metallic ping rang through the empty space atop the roof, and the raven haired boy seemed even more irritated at not hitting flesh. Mukuro had given Shion the "gauntlet gloves"; reinforced steel gloves that were dark blue like his own gloves. "It adds to the disguise", Mukuro had said while watching Shion slide on her gloves earlier that morning. She never thought that the things would be useful.

Shion was fending off the raven haired boy as best as she could, keeping her fists up in front of her face and moving more towards the edge of the roof. She thought that the boy was her only opponent, but that thought was squashed when four or five bombs soared through the air and in her direction. Shit.

Shion and the raven boy parted, jumping out of the range of the explosions. A cloud of dust rose up and blocked Shion's view of her attackers, so she took this chance to flee towards the chain link fence that protected stupid asses from falling to their deaths. Shion shimmied up the fence and sat on top of it, waiting to see if her attackers would come. She took the short few seconds to take a pen out of her pocket along with a yellow post-it note.

'Saw fluffy clouds; thought, "Must eat".'

'Hibari Kyoya'

After writing down the six short words and one fateful name, Shion put the post-it note in her pocket so that she would have it to stick on the wall of her room at home. She heard encroaching footsteps, so she jumped over the fence and onto the ledge of the roof. She kept her eyes on the approaching boy, whose eyes reflected his purpose; he was hell-bent on either beating her to death or sending her falling only to end up as a crumpled heap on the ground. Shion judged her distance from the ground, and factored in her height and weight, and calculated velocity subtracted from the wind drag that she would endure from the clothes she was wearing…

Yeah, she'd still be a bloody pile of mangled joints.

But, she liked taking chances. What the hell, right?

Shion prepared to let go of the fence and fall down below, but she noticed that she was already jumping, already falling to her "death". Mukuro had trapped her in an illusion, much like he usually did when it involved her getting stuck in a dangerous situation. Chikusa and Ken both tossed rocks at her, getting Shion's attention away from the illusion and getting it towards getting off of the roof. Ken scrambled to the bottom of the left side of the roof and held out his arms, looking back at Mukuro. The boy just nodded, and Ken urged Shion off the edge. She dropped down and landed on top of Ken, making him fall on his ass. Mukuro and Chikusa joined the pair just as Shion stood up and pulled the post-it note out of her jacket pocket.

"Here. It's—" Mukuro held out his hand, shaking it.

"Let's make it back to Kokuyo first. It's not exactly tactful to stalk around another school, is it?"

"Says the one creating a hit list." Shion murmured underneath her breath.

"Hey, quiet, Shion-baka! Your snide comments are gonna' get you hurt by me personally!" Ken exclaimed, shoving the girl forward.

"You didn't have to shove me. And why was my death so gruesome?" Shion deadpanned, walking towards Mukuro's right side. "Can I go home?"

"Of course not, Shion-chan. You're helping me with the list, aren't you?"

"No."

"Yes you are." Mukuro wagged his index finger, and Shion just resigned. Two years of this, and Mukuro still knew how to set her "straight". "Let's go."

I wonder if I can make a break for it, Shion said while trying to conceal the contemplative look that came across her face.

"You know very well who'd be heartbroken if you did, Shio-chan."

At times, Shion liked Mukuro. At times, she could bear him. But at that moment, she hated him.

~ * ( † ) * ~

"Again?"

"Yes, Shio-chan."

"Why can't we use our newly acquired ranking machine?" Shion motioned to the brown haired boy in the corner who was making things float in the air with her frog-topped pen.

"All in due time."

Shion groaned, and let her forehead hit the hard wood of the clipboard that sat on her lap. Chikusa had his list as well, while Ken doodled all over his. There were balls of paper littering the floor, and it was hours past Shion's curfew. Kasuwaka would be worried about her, especially since Mukuro didn't allow cell phones in his presence. The group was creating its fifth list since the last four were duds.

"Let's reorganize; I doubt someone named "Sukebe Sakura"* is even remotely dangerous."

"You're right…"

"We shouldn't have let Shion make the list in the first place!" Ken called.

"List number three was a dud because of your atrocious handwriting." Shion retorted.

"Fuck you!" Ken yelled, standing up on his feet.

"No thanks." Shion stayed in her seat, reorganizing the targets as she was told to.

"Both of you calm down." Mukuro said.

"We should try to collaborate; put all of our lists into one." Chikusa said. Shion nodded in his direction, still scribbling down her list. "Then we can use the boy."

"Alright. Here's mine." Mukuro placed his list out, as did Ken and Chikusa. There were some similarities, such as the position of Gokudera Hayato and Yamamoto Takeshi. "It seems that we've got similar lists."

"We're split on number ten, though." Shion stated. "For the top five, I calculated their muscle mass and placed it proportional to their height and weight. Then I compared those solutions to other people with the same proportions and can scientifically conclude that these five are the strongest in Namimori."

Shion wasn't surprised to see Ken gawking at her, because she personally thought that Ken was an idiot. But Chikusa's gaze was unusually puzzled, as seen by the scowl on his face. Mukuro's eyebrows were both raised, although a smirk was on his face. Nobody understood the beautiful complications of science…well, Shion only knew the basics of physical science; chemistry was more of her forte in the scientific department.

"In Japanese, please." Ken jeered.

"I thought the phrase was "in English, please"." Shion countered.

"Does it sound like we're speaking English, Shion-baka?"

"English or Japanese, it doesn't matter. What does is that our lists are mostly compatible. I'll make the final choice, at any rate." Mukuro said with a dismissive shake of his head.

"Fette**." Shion muttered underneath her breath.

"Hey, we agreed that you wouldn't speak Norwegian!" Ken said, pointing an accusing finger at Shion. "What'd you call Mukuro-san, anyway?"

Shion paused. She would say exactly what she meant; that he was a dumb fuck for planning to hurt people just for the sake of a world that would resume in being screwed up no matter what he did. But she decided to be nicer today. She smiled at Ken, and tilted her head to the side.

"I said he was the best guy I've ever met."

"Yeah, yeah…I don't believe you!"

Shion closed her eyes, and shrugged dismissively. She really could care less about what Ken thought about her; the blonde was beneath her and Shion liked testing his intelligence. Shion figured that since she already missed curfew, she should stay consistent and stay out a little bit later. She slid her gloves onto her hands, and placed the shades back on her face.

"Where are you off to so late? It's already ten-thirty." Mukuro said with an obvious amused lilt to his voice.

"I'm personally going to pay a visit to one of my top five targets."

"Alright. The boy's going to pick the final strongest fighters tomorrow. Be prepared, Shion."

And with a smirk, Shion was on her way.

D-San: Well, uhm...Yes!

Tsuna: Oh, a new project?

D-San: Yes!

Tsuna: I thought you were already working on something...

D-San: Who?

Tsuna: ...Okay, then.

D-San: Anyway, it's time for the FOOTNOTES.

* - According to a few different translators, "Sukebe" means Lech/lecher, and "Sakura" as every knows is the cherry. I wouldn't be very threatened by that name, either.

** - That translates to...well, the C word in English! Shion's Norwegian, so she'll be using a couple of phrases in Norwegian. Mostly insults.

D-san: I hope you enjoy this story more than the last one. I might pick up with the last one...eh...Well, have a nice night!