This story was inspired by the evil awesomeness of the drawing Slayers-Easter 2014 by Sabu-chan on deviantArt (It won't allow me to put the link here)
YES SABU-CHAN THIS FANFIC IS ALL YOUR FAULT
"Tell me again why I'm here?" Lina rolled her eyes, sitting in the courtyard of the castle of Saillune, looking around seeing children playing with colored eggs or wearing bunny outfits. Phil himself was dressed in a rather large bunny suit, handing out the eggs to children.
"Oh come on Miss Lina! Can't you join in the fun?" Amelia asked, wearing bunny ears herself. "Mr. Gourry is having fun with it!" she pointed to the large blonde wearing a bunny ear hat while grabbing the eggs… and eating them whole WITH the shells.
"I'd rather not…" Lina groaned. "Where's Zel? And what mess did you- Oh my god.." she snorted a laugh when she spotted her chimera friend.
"AMELIA!" Zelgadis shouted at the top of his lungs, he was in the bunny suit that he had worn at the Artemay Tower. "Get me out of this!"
"I must say he looks quite well in that outfit, doesn't he?" a familiar voice chuckled from behind Lina, it was the familiar purple haired priest.
"… Xelloss, you're the one that got him in there?" Lina chuckled, not turning to face him.
"Miss Amelia asked me to, and it was wonderful negative emotion to counter all the happy ones here." Xelloss laughed. "Whereas her sister chose my outfit."
"Your outfit?" the sorceress turned to see the priest…. And her jaw dropped.
Xelloss was taking the form of a slender, rather well developed female body with large, round breasts snugged in a violet bikini with boots, gloves and rabbit ears to match, along with a fluffy tail on his bottom. "Do you like it?" he winked at her.
"WHAT THE HELL KIND OF OUTFIT IS THAT AND HOW DARE YOU GET BIGGER BOOBS THAN ME?!" Lina shouted, reaching out to strangle him. "… And wait did you say Amelia's sister? Huh never met her before I wonder who-"
"HO HO HO HO HO!" a bellowing laugh cut Lina off, she turned white and dropped the priest promptly as she sllooowwwllyyy turned her head to see a tall female with assets larger than Xelloss, long purple hair and the same type of outfit. Her breasts jiggled in the bikini as she laughed. "Lina Inverse it has been far too long my dear rival!"
"Naga…. No way…" Lina gulped.
"Gracia! So glad to see you sis!" Amelia cried. "And you know Miss Lina? I had no idea!"
"Hoo ho ho ho ho! She is just merely a rival that can't hope to ever match in my beauty and talent, I merely showed her around back in her youth." Naga laughed, striking a pose in her outfit that made those jugs of hers jiggle.
"… Oh yeah?!" Lina shouted, stepping on Xelloss now to gain some height. "Who's the one I had to pull out of how many troubles and was USELESS when fighting against several monsters?"
"Hoo ho ho ho! And I remember when I caught you unconscious at the defeat of my copies which proves I am superior!" Naga boasted.
"THEY DIDN'T BEAT ME I PASSED OUT FROM THE SHEER HORROR OF SEEING 10 OF YOU!" Lina screamed, the memory of that nearly made her want to pass out.
"Ho ho ho ho! Try as you might to deny it but the evidence is clear!" Naga declared. "Now where is that assistant of mine?"
Xelloss promptly teleported to her side, which made Lina fall on her face as she had been standing on his back. "Right here, Miss Naga."
"Perfect, now let's do this together just as I showed you." Naga cried.
"Of course." Xelloss smirked, the annoyance everyone had from Naga's laugh was a delicious negative emotion, so OF COURSE he was going to help her with it!
"HO HO HO HO HO!" the two laughed in unison, Lina had to cover her ears, this was like having Naga in STEREO!
"Miss Lina…?" Amelia looked at her warily, Zelgadis quickly used the cover to hide, and Gourry was still eating whole eggs…
"Make it stop… Make it stop…" Lina shivered, covering her ears wasn't enough and shutting her eyes did no good, the damage was already done so she could still see the two even with her eyes closed.
"I think Miss Lina needs more persuasion." Xelloss said with a devious grin. "Shall we, Miss Naga?"
Naga nodded, following his lead as the purple haired priest lifted Lina to her feet, they continued their laughter as they pulled the sorceress' hands away from her ears. Which next they simultaneously kissed her cheek, one on each side!
"EH?!" Lina's eyes shot wide open as she saw Xelloss on her right, Naga on her left, both with their lips pressed firmly to her blazing cheeks.
Xelloss pulled away with a wide grin. "Feel any better now, Miss Lina?"
Lina's hand twitched as she muttered words under her breath. "Darkness beyond twilight… crimson beyond blood that flows, buried in the stream of time is where your power grows…." A ball of light formed in her hands.
Amelia's eyes widened and grabbed Zelgadis, Gourry and Phil, rushing out of the castle immediately while warning all the children to run for their lives.
Xelloss backed up a bit. "N-now Miss Lina, don't do anything harsh…."
"W-wait a second, I know that spell!" Naga shrieked.
"I pledge myself to conquer, all the foes who stand, before the mighty gift bestowed in my unworthy hands… Let all the fools who stand before me be destroyed by the power you and I possess! DRAGON SLAVE!" Lina unleashed the power of the spell on the two.
"Oh dear, well sorry Miss Naga!" Xelloss promptly teleported out.
"HEY TAKE ME WITH YOU!" Naga shouted, but then was caught in the blast, sent off flying.
Lina breathed heavily as she wiped her forehead, looking at the large chunk of Saillune Castle she blew up with the Dragon Slave. "… Ehhh Phil and Amelia are gonna kill me for this one."
Xelloss then appeared back behind her, in his normal priest outfit this time. "Hmmm does that mean you need a lift somewhere, Lina-chan?"
"NO AND WHO THE HELL TOLD YOU THAT YOU CAN CALL ME LINA-CHAN YOU BASTARD?!" Lina snarled, grabbing the priest by his neck and pulling him into a headlock. "I'LL KILL YOU FOR WHAT YOU DID THAT'S THE SECOND TIME YOU KISSED ME WITHOUT MY PERMISSION!"
Xelloss just laughed from her angry fit. "So does that mean I can if I can permission?"
"JUST DIE ALREADY!" and Lina spent the rest of that Easter Sunday chasing the priest down with various spells, until she lead him to the spot where at that moment Naga crash landed right on him, which then Lina gave them another Dragon Slave flight to who knows where, but she was sure to find them and send them off to another hiding spot.