The Vault
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.
There's a part of Sasuke's mind that looks like a vault, with a very large lock and a label that says "Team Seven". This vault exists in a tiny corner of his consciousness, beside a few other, smaller vaults, containing everything else he has decided not to think about.
Sasuke has terrible control issues, though, and sometimes these locks burst open, not caring about the fact they are locks. (Actually, if Sasuke bothered to look closely, he'd know there's no vault at all. He doesn't need to, though, because in one of these vaults is the fact he already knows that.)
Other times, he just gets bored.
Training with Orochimaru was a very different experience compared to anyone else he'd ever trained. The snake sannin would tell him, "Train with a focus in mind. Have a plan. Decide what you want to have mastered by the end of the day and make sure you achieve that, but don't lose sight of your long-term goal. Your brother, picture his face in your mind. The stronger your will, the more you can benefit."
Sasuke liked Orochimaru's methods, personally. He never told Sasuke it was time to take a break, but by restricting Sasuke's training to only learning one thing at a time, he was forced to spend time each day resting. This didn't make learning new techniques any easier because nothing he was assigned to master was in any way, shape, or form simple, and many would argue one day wasn't enough time to master even a step in a technique. With the advantage of the Sharingan on Sasuke's side, though, learning rarely involved overworking himself with the efforts others would typically need.
Every time Orochimaru praised the Sharingan, Sasuke thought of a different teacher, no matter how much he tried to push him back into his vault. Hatake Kakashi had never needed to praise the Sharingan.
Kakashi's methods of teaching had been different from Orochimaru's. Kakashi preferred to tell Sasuke how to do something, leave him alone for an hour or two to try and understand it by himself, then return to check on his progress. He'd ask Sasuke if he wanted advice, which he always did, then he'd give it and leave Sasuke alone again. When Sasuke felt he was done, he had to search for Kakashi himself, and Kakashi would tell him what he was doing right or wrong, offer to buy him dinner, and discuss what Sasuke should think about for tomorrow while they ate. If Sasuke hadn't mastered it, Kakashi would still have dinner with him and would comment on Sasuke's health and whether or not it'd be wiser for Sasuke to rest than to train more.
Kakashi never compared Sasuke to anyone else, unlike Orochimaru, who frequently would tell Sasuke of his other students while Sasuke half-listened.
Sasuke couldn't stop himself from thinking about these things at night, staring at the ceiling of his room and breathing in the smell of wet cardboard that accompanied Orochimaru's various hideouts. He once distracted himself through training, but there was a heavy lock on the door that prevented him from leaving to train after he was done and the last time he'd trained in his room, he'd broken all his furniture and Orochimaru had shrugged and made him to sleep on the floor until they traveled to the next den. He wasn't about to accept that insult to his dignity again, so his only alternative was to lie on the hard bed and face the thoughts he desperately tried to lock away.
"Does friendship mean nothing to you?"
Sasuke sighed. He couldn't deny it to himself anymore, not since he'd actually said it out loud. Still, he tried to compress the thought but it only stayed in the vault because it wanted to. It really didn't surprise Sasuke all that much that thoughts of Naruto would burst out whenever Sasuke was forced to give him his full attention.
Attention.
Sasuke hadn't always had that. There was a point in his life when he wanted it. Still, the attention he had received was always the wrong kind, and worse than the gushing cries of "Oh, Sasuke-kun, you're so smart!" was the whispers of the people around him: Sasuke, the Last Uchiha. The Only Survivor. The Kid Whose Entire Clan was Massacred By One of Its Own.
More than that.
By Uchiha Itachi, whose name still meant and always would mean more than Sasuke's.
Perhaps that was what Sasuke had liked about Kakashi. Kakashi never treated him like he was special, or pitiful. He treated him like he was a person.
Orochimaru treated Sasuke like he was a prize. Or a possession, but Sasuke ignored this. It didn't really matter very much.
"That's why we make friends... to fill the void."
How could anyone understand? he thought, clenching a fist. This room was cold and somehow it still felt like there was water in the air, like a frigid humidity, and Sasuke couldn't stand it.
He wondered what Kakashi would think were he to see him now. He closed his eyes and they stung in protest. He could feel a tear trickle down his face from the wrong side of his eye and he realized how dry they were. Kakashi had made fun of Sasuke for this when he was still in the Leaf,
"You know, you don't blink when you're training."
Sasuke hadn't responded, expecting to forget the comment. There were many things he'd expected to forget that he hadn't.
"You're annoying."
What he said to Sakura had been a lie. He remembered, rather vividly, actually, the fury he felt toward her at her ignorant comments about being an orphan. Now, he didn't think more of it than that she'd been a silly girl with no understanding, then, and it made him think that perhaps Sakura was the best example of exactly why he believed no one knew how he felt.
"I know what happened with you and your brother."
"Tch," he said now.
Still, Sakura didn't anger him anymore. He didn't know why, but she didn't. Maybe it was because she was so insignificant in his eyes. The only other reasons he could think of weren't even considerable, so he was fine with not being angered by Sakura. Return to your vault, he thought, and as usual, she was the only one who obeyed.
No, the one who angered him most was Naruto. He didn't even want to think about him. The problem with Naruto was that he thought he could fix people. He thought he understood people. And worse, other people thought so too. The worst was that he thought he understood Sasuke. Sasuke shook his head.
But then... there'd been a time when Sasuke thought he understood Naruto, too.
Shut up, Sakura, he thought.
It was true.
The pain of being alone is far worse than the pain of being yelled at by a parent.
If he tried, Sasuke might've been able to understand a lot of people. But that wasn't his quest.
He shoved the door of the vault shut and his eyes fluttered closed.
Until tomorrow, when he was forced to think again.
A/N: This is a little more personal than I usually go for, but some of this is based on how I sometimes feel. I enjoyed writing about Orochimaru and Kakashi's different teaching methods. This piece is also intentionally a lot more ramble-y than my other work, and the reason for that is that I was trying to capture what an utterly disorganized mess Sasuke's head is. I'd love to hear about if I managed to create that effect. Thanks for reading, and once again, reviews are always appreciated!