So, I do not own Twilight or any character you may notice. I simply own my little Noelle and her little clique of misfits.
"I know that at the end of the day, and I know in my heart, that I don't question your intentions. "
"Intentions …What does the word intention mean to you? "Jessica asked
How was I supposed to know? Through the various amounts of people that came into my life and then left, the concept of intentions was just another word for confusion. So, I just shrugged and leaned back against the suede green couch that was becoming a good home for me. Jessica rolled her eyes and let her eyes flicker down to her thin little wrist. The pretty apple watch matched her floral shirt, the rose gold really looking good on her pale skin.
"in 2 weeks, Noelle…. You need an answer. "Jessica eyes landed on me. Margo had urged me to take on her the newly certified therapist niece, and with hesitation, I went for it. Matt thought it would be good, a novice therapist with an expert client. I was a tough cookie, a cookie that never broke and Jessica had a lot to learn and who better to learn off of then me
"I'll try. "I groaned
We walked out of the office. Matt sat in the waiting room with a magazine on his lap when he saw me and Jessica walking out.
He always thought seeing both of us was a sight. Dr. Stanley wore lots of pastels and wore a giant smile, While I was covered completely in black and only gave small closed smiles that would make the most uncomfortable person want to disappear. But it was funny, and he couldn't help but stare at me with a giant smile and a shake of the head.
"there's my girl…." He cooed. And soon the blush came to my cheeks as the adoration that Matt gave me when he knew I was dying appeared. Jessica watched as the tall blonde male managed to get another reaction out of me and she constantly asked if he and I had something more. And I swear we didn't. It was simply platonic despite the dreams our parents had.
"shut up…" she warned and quickly that blush left her face.
"thank you, Jessica, I hope my little gloomy bear wasn't much trouble. "Matt's thin fingers pinched my chubby cheeks and I had to refrain from upper cutting him. But his smile was able to dissolve the worst of my moods. He meant no harm and really that's what meant the most to me.
"oh, Matt…" Jessica's skin turned redder then Matt's on a Costa Rica Vacay. Her shiny blue eyes glazed over with what could've been undeniable lust for my tall friend and as all girls did, the giggled so freaking weird I almost felt like really vomiting. But it was morning and the vomit feeling was a part of my daily routine.
"Well, I have a few expresso shots waiting for me…. I'll just get going… "
"bye Jessica. I hope to see you sooner then we both anticipate. …" Matt called out
I rolled my eyes as I waved good bye at Joanne, the receptionist. She too rolled her eyes at the two attractive young adults who flirted like caged gorillas on hormones. But neither one of them made a move, it was really weird.
"You tell me when, Matt. "Jessica did that weird hand wave that only allowed her to scrunch her fingers up and down and I was out of there without a second. The cold wind of Washington took a lot to get use to, but it never failed to really refresh whatever I was feeling. Like a gust of wind that just penetrated my clogged pores and cleaned them from the soul and out. Though that wasn't realistic due to the new zit the cropped up above my eyebrow, the wind was only temporary refresher.
Margo stood across the street with a group of teenagers instructing them about fire safety and signage and I felt bad for them. The fire safety thing was a long hour of Margo debunking stop drop and roll and not allowing polyester to be worn. Margo had her reasoning's and I tried to never argue.
But before she could see me, I made sure to hustle my ass over to the café down the street.
When Margo had brought up Washington on her list of places that she'd want to build her publishing company, I would of thought Seattle. And I prayed for Seattle. But I was no where religious, and I was sure that was why my prayer wasn't granted. Seattle became Forks and my tiny little heart knew it was the world telling me many things.
But the move was a move from past lives and the moment we booked our flight, Matt and I began looking for apartments and were lucky to see the Forks had opened the smallest little community college so that meant a modern world and many vacant studios and apartments.
"why didn't you wait for me? "Matt was out of breath for the very short distance that I had walked. But I'm sure his perverted thought of Jessica was clouding his mind.
"because I don't want to picture you and my therapist banging next time, she asks me about celibacy. "
The café was beautiful, and an important part of my morning. On Mondays, Matt, Margo and I would come here for breakfast. Use it to get the week going, go by schedules and goals. Plus, we all enjoyed The Bachelor recaps.
The small café infiltrated my nostrils like the best smelling overpriced candle. The smelled of warm brownies and the expresso fucked me up so good that I knew celibacy was a fucking walk in the park right at this minute.
"you'd really picture us? "Matt quipped, smirking.
"I haven't had sex in the last year, and I've also felt like most of my sexual libido comes from the sadness I feel within. So, yeah. When Jessica, MY THERAPIST " I emphasized "brings it up , it's hard to not think of sex. "
Matt chuckled and stood closely to me as the crowd of college students ushered out behind us.
"point taken and I'm honored to be part of your pornographic dreams. "
"it's not really a dream, more of a 'what the fuck' is happening' moment. You know? " I joked scanning the words on the menu.
"like anal? "
My eyes tore away from the menu and I looked up at a chuckling Matt who clearly enjoyed my look of disbelief. But I had to admit it was funny.
"I mean, I wouldn't know but I would assume yes. " By that time we were laughing out loud and people were staring at us weirdly.
"I can help you guys over here. "Shandi spoke already pressing buttons down.
It really made my life easier that she knew exactly what we wanted.
"thank you Shandi, we are parched." Matt spoke
"mostly Matt, I just need my caffeine. "I teased
Shani was a high school Senior who was attending Yale in the fall. And she was possibly the coolest teenager I knew, besides my own brother.
"Word around the street says you got a thirst for Jessica Stanley. "
My eyes bulged out of my head as I threw my head back and laughed. Matt's face turned red, but he kept his cool composure.
"and where did you hear that…" Matt held out his credit card as Shandi smirked. But I enjoyed this too much and bumped into Matt to put me ahead.
"no, Matthew. For today, I will pay because clearly you made Forks front page. " I quickly removed the credit card from my bra and handed it to a giggling Shandi.
"Fork's is a small town, people talk and talk and next thing you know you're the talk of the town. " she confessed handing me back my card and looking highly smitten with herself.
I looked up at Matt who seemed impressed with a puckered pout.
"Well, looks like I'm the equivalent to the Kardashians in Forks. "
Shandi rolled her eyes and reassured us our drinks would be out in a sec. Matt was still baffled by the news.
"You really think everyone knows?" he whispered looking around the room.
In all honestly, I didn't know what to believe or cared to. Jessica was an upbeat brown-haired hurricane and it wouldn't make sense for her to keep her flirtation with Matt on the DL. Plus, they did it every time they ran into each other around town.
"Yeah, you might as well marry her. "
And that's when I saw him. Sitting across the room with a giant plate of pancakes in front of him. And the scrambled eggs that could just barely put me off if it wasn't for his eyes. Dark brown and deep set, enough to make my heart palpitate. His eyes were strong and didn't miss a chance to deep dive into mine and as much as my nails dug into my palm to look away I couldn't. He was handsome, dark shaggy hair that fell sporadically around his face, a sin when he had resplendent lips that seemed softer then my fifty-dollar body pillow. He had dark russet skin that was the perfect complexion for a Neutrogena commercial and then his smile. God his smile made my stomach churn and float up. It wasn't until I gulped that I pooled my eyes away and hesitantly reached for Matt's hand.
"you ok? "he asked
My heart was beating hard, and I wasn't sure why the sudden my body was radiating heat like a furnace. But I didn't like it one bit.
"yeah, I just got a little hot. Hold my purse. " I asked breathing deeply and avoiding the blue eyes that were trained to find discomfort.
I removed my black coat from my body and thanked god I wore a long sleeve today. Though a change of temperature I was still feeling the hot flash come through and the embarrassment set in. I had gotten caught and for some odd fucking reason didn't understand that staring was completely wrong especially when I got caught from a total stranger. I probably looked like a complete loser.
"Matt and Noelle. " the barista called
I was quick to walk forward, hanging my coat over my cross bodied bag and securing it tightly.
"I'll be back, heading to the bathroom. " I didn't want to look up at Matt and simply nodded before making my way over to the sugars and creamer. My ice chai was perfect as always, I took a large sip and allowed the spicy remnants of it to fuel my body and cool down whatever weird fantasy my head was conjuring up.
The tightening of my chest was strong, a full-on kung fu grip was wedged around my heart and I wasn't so sure if I was having a heart attack or another Costochondritis flare up. But I wasn't near my period and I did just see someone beautiful. I was just nervous, and this caffeine is going to fuck me dirty, but I was kind of all for it. Plus, Gary Wright was playing and that alone could calm me down.
'I've just closed my eyes again
Climbed aboard the dream weaver train
Driver take away my worries of today'
I sang along to the song as I normally would, softly and under my breath hoping this would trick my body and mind that I was cool and collected.
But pushing that all aside, my shaky hands had to do one thing and that's make Matt's coffee like the old person he is. Unlike me, Mike ordered normal coffee, the type you had to mix your own shit and call it a day. Unlike me who just ordered whatever was on the menu and ready to go. Matt didn't and enjoyed having good spoonful of sugar and about a great pool of almond milk until the black turned into a nice caramel color. It was pretty much just milk.
'And leave tomorrow behind…. ' as I poured the sugarI felt the anticipation of the chorus. This song was the shit and I can only think of Wayne's World. Wayne and Cassandra, the coolest couple known to man, next to Michelle and Barack, of course.
But ask anyone, when that chorus hits, we all become one and we rejoice for such an ico…
"That's a lot of sugar…"
I jumped a little and spilled more sugar then I should've in the coffee. And as I looked up from the counter and Dreamweaver played through the speakers, he stood right in front of me in pure slow motion. His perfect blinding smile that belonged to a Disney prince, he smelled like motor oil and fresh cut wood, and my god was he towering over me like a fucking giant.
"oh…" It's like I couldn't find any words to come out. But I did know my stomach started bubbling, my intestines knew right away we needed to book it out of here. The constant wave like motions of my belly were common for me but this time it felt different. They twisted much more tightly, my palms sweating a bit more and I was so glad I remembered to wear deodorant this morning.
"You like sugar, I take it?" he joked lifting his own mug to his gorgeous lips.
"umm, its not mine. fuck. "I looked into the coffee, a sigh erupted out of me as I just fucking ruined Matt's coffee.
"let me get you another one. "I honestly felt like his voice was one of the best things to happen to me. It was deeper then Matt's, definitely deeper then Julian's and it made the hairs on the back of my neck stand.
"oh no. This is actually for Matt. "Oh, Matt. Sitting on the porcelain throne unaware that not only is this small town talking about his love life, but I really did just screw his health over with his plain coffee.
"matt? "the man questioned. His brows scrunching over the prominent brow bone that only made him look like a grungy bad boy.
"yeah, he's currently in the bathroom. "I sniffed the coffee, it smelled the same. And before I knew it, I was pressing the cup to my lips and taking a shaky sniff.
"holy shit, that's sweet."
The tall man laughed, and I swore my pelvis was shaking. A year was far too long for my anatomy and I was acting out more then usual. And it was obvious this man was pure sex on legs, so how could I not act this way.
"my names Jacob. "he held out his hand and I hesitantly shook it. The warmth of it taking me off guard but more then ever making me melt even further.
"Noelle. "
The man grinned even bigger and I felt myself coward into my shoulders but before he could say anything Matt walked out.
"there was a line! I was so surp…" Matt looked at the tall man and then at me. His eyes searching for some sort of statement and the moment he looked at my hands he knew I was on edge. And as Matt did, he stepped forward.
"Hello, I'm Matt. "Matt introduced himself. It was finally when I really took note on how tall Jacob was. He was taller than Matt who was 6'3 but that didn't stop Matt from pushing his shoulders back and confidently talk to Jacob.
"Jacob Black. "Black, what a cool last name. Pretty badass. Jacob seemed to stand straight up. Those broad shoulders being brought back so that muscular chest can fight against that black t-shirt. I was never into muscles but I knew they were hard to get with expensive protein and cutting pizza off. SO, how could I not admire?
"You from around here, Jacob? "Matt asked questionably.
"Not from Forks, I live up on the reservation a couple of miles form here. "he explained while I nodded and began to drink my chai. Matt seemed to have it all under control.
"cool, Noelle and I just moved into town last month. "
Jacobs eyes came over to me. Studying my face as I smiled softly at him. It only gave him a bigger grin as he went back to Matt. And at this point I thanked god for poor eyesight. Having glasses, I was able to hide behind them or pretend I was busy while cleaning them.
"Cool. where you guys from? "
"Well, since you asked. I'm from Florida and Noelle here is fr… "
"I'm sorry Jacob, we have to go. It was nice meeting you. "I grabbed Matt's hand and pulled him along muttering a good bye to Jacob
Matt easily was dragged away and sooner than later I felt the best Washington breeze hit my face again. And suddenly I could breathe normally, and my bowels weren't working on the worst movement of their lives.
SO, I'M WORKING OUT THE KINKS TO WRITING AGAIN AND I DO PLAN ON MAKING THIS STORY A PRESENT TIME IMPRINT STORY. IT WILL CONTAIN A LATE TWENTIES CAST AND A EARLY TO MIDDLE 20 YEAR OLD OC , SO EXPECT SOME COLORFUL WORDING AND HEAVY TOPICS THAT GO WITH THESE AGE GROUPS AND OBVIOUSLY SOME SEX STUFF BECAUSE IT'S WHAT PEOPLE DO. BUT NOT UNTIL LATER ON.
I REALLY WAS UNSURE OF WRITING THIS AND POSTING IT BUT PART OF ME FELT LIKE I SHOULD. THESE TYPE OF THINGS SIT IN MY HEAD AND DON'T EVER LEAVE. SO, I HOPE YOU TAKE SOME TIME AND LET ME KNOW HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT IT BECAUSE HONESTLY THAT REALLY MAKES ME HAPPY. AND ILL POST AS SOON AS I CAN.