Boz's Misadventure

by Sretaw Mada

A thief has left his old life behind him and attempted to live in the country. Little did he know that this decision would set in coarse a chain of events that only he and a select few could stop. Just another poorly paced and blandly written fic about a thief, his dead party, an evil lich, and an old frenemy.

The Hook

Boz - Borrowmeer Lee Haff that is, was a rather handsome fellow in his early 20's when this tale took place. Once a professional thief by trade, now he had chosen a simple life with his hard earned coin.

It would seem Boz found his way into the archives again. My apologies. Now into the real story.

Whilst his self description was fairly true, his rich ex-professional guise was false. Yes he had worked for the thieves guild back in Kingsport as an adolescent, but he didn't leave on such good terms. I have attempted to reason with him to reveal what he did to drive a guild which strictly avoids killing to attempting his murder, unfortunately all of my attempts were in vain. By this point he had escaped the pursuit of the guild and hidden in the rural region far to the north-east, a land of magic and unrule, a thief would do well in this area to be cautious around places without guards as such places can be home to abomination and ancient magics alike. Boz would soon discover this for himself in a small half dwarven town known as drop forge. See, he was a thief, though he also considered himself a proud carpenter. He owned a small stall at the Dropforge market, from which he would craft beautiful and sturdy wooden furniture. A haggered old woman approached. She asked, "carpenter ay?" and Boz replied with what some readers would know as a Boston accent, "ay oh first customer! What can I get'cha ma'am? I'll have you know I'm the best carpenter around. I do dressers, cupboards, tables, chairs, ornate torches, the list goes on." "Oh why that's lovely young man, could you please make me a stool? You see I need a new one to sit on while I sow." "Why yes madam, in fact I have one right in the back there, only two silver." "Pah! Two silver, for a stool?" "Why madam it's the best quality in all of the land. Not to mention it's mahogany ain't cheap around here." Boz made up most of that. He was a thief and carpenter but no swindler. The woman said "I'll give you four copper." "Deal" Boz swiftly said.

Unfortunately the deal was not to be. A cart carrying numerous ores rushed down the north road to the town. Boz's stall was next to the north gate. Lots of the townsfolk were in a panic but Boz was too focused upon making his first legitimate deal and the old woman too senile to notice the cart until late. The cart rushed down the hill and the old woman noticed it now, she jumped out of its way leaving Boz stunned. Luckily for him a half elf woman rushed into him. He fell to the ground and she fell on him taking most of the force from the cart while Boz only had some mere scratches. The cart continued with them trapped, rolling beneath it. A dwarf appeared now and jumped at them knocking them free but temporarily trapping himself. The cart was heading for the smithy's furnace and the dwarf unlodged himself just in time. The dwarf took the least damage and remained blissfully unaware of the danger. The dwarf luckily had some Sheep's wool which took a lot of the impact while he remained unaware due to the alcohol he'd been drinking all day. The dwarf lay in a stupor on the ground and the half elf woman pushed herself off Boz. Another half elf ran over and helped her up "Ylena are you ok?" "I'll be fine. What of you human?" "Oh I um, I'm ok thanks to you and the dwarf" "the dwarf looks fine too." Boz noticed the gear of the half elves "Are you hunters?" "You could say that" the woman said. "Ah rangers then" "yes, we came here to sell pelts and hunting goods. I'm Ylena and this is my brother Vonor." "Ay it's a pleasure to meet ya, name's Borrowmeer, you can call me Boz" the dwarf stumbled toward them and slurred "hello I's Toker - Jack Toker. Whatshay we all get some drinks?" The elves had difficulty communicating with the dwarf without insulting him "... ah, yes a pleasure". Boz considered pickpocketing the drunkard but decided against it due to the sheer amount of dirt and fungi growing from him.

He glanced around the town until he exclaimed, "Hey what's wrong with the well water?" Boz said as the well began overflowing with disgusting black water "It could be linked to the mine, we should investigate" Vonor said. Boz went along with the oddly party to investigate and definitely not to steal valuable ore from the mine. Along the path they saw a dwarf laying slumped with black spore like forms dropping from his mouth and nose "k-kill me" he said. The party quickly debated what to do. Boz may have been a thief, but he was not immoral. He argued to just kill the poor sod whilst Ylena wished to extract information. The half elf had won the debate and they questioned the afflicted dwarf "what happened?" The dwarf only managed to whisper "Namiria" as he keeled over and a spurt of spores left his mouth. "Elf, stay back!" Boz shouted and Ylena backed off from the body "We should burn him, I sense foul forces at play" "agreed" Boz added. The dwarf then grumbled and sparked up a small flame from his hand "wachout" he grumbled and cast the flame upon the corpse which also lit the spores around it. The smell was terrible and the sound of the spores squealing as they burned was unsettling. It seemed to Boz that the half elves were surprised by the dwarf using magic. He didn't know enough about dwarves to understand that they dislike magic. They progressed further towards the mine until they saw a large cloud of spores. This one lit but there was enough explosive force to knock back the dwarf still leaving him unscathed. The party reached the mine's portal and found more corpses. They agreed to loot the singed corpses and proceed unto the mine. Using gallery pins, they cautiously continued and marked their path as to not become lost. They got to the end of the mine and found what looked like the drained remains of a pool. More importantly, they found a strange structure in the deep pool. It was a stone staircase which led to a great archway. "We should be careful it looks slippery" Vonor said and Boz cockily said "My time to shine" before going first down the stairs. He quickly dashed down the slope and laughed as he did but then he hit a loose brick and tumbled down the remaining steps. Luckily he didn't fall off either side of the stairway. The others cautiously followed and even the drunken dwarf made it down safely. Vonor chuckled and offered a hand to Boz. Boz huffed and got up alone then returned to the front of the group. "At least the human knows his place" Ylena muttered to Vonor, Boz heard and murmured to himself "yeah, the bloody front". They entered a room with two other exits and 12 stone pillars. Using his thieves intuition, he examined them for loose stones and traps. No traps were found although he did find a small metal object in the closest pillar to the left exit. "What have you got there human?" "Oh nothing." "..." "Fine, I don't know, but because it was on this side of the room and the other pillars had nothing, I think we should go this way" "good idea. After you" Boz sighed and continued into the left corridor where he noticed a raised slab "woah woah, look out we have a trap here" Boz looked at the ceiling, "ouch" was all that he said as he regarded a set of jagged spikes. The party avoided the pressure plate and found a sudden, almost solid, darkness. It seemed unnatural and so Boz waved his torch at it causing a squealing noise to emanate from it and also revealing the darkness to actually be a gelatinous cube "back it into a corner with the torches!" Ylena exclaimed and Boz continued to push the creature back until they reached a door and small passage around it "I'll get around it" Boz said as he lit another torch and gave it to Ylena. He dashed to the side passage so that the cube was trapped in the corner and slowly melting. Vonor slashed at it with his enchanted elven sword managing to cut a deep gash in the creature and Ylena then pushed her torch into the hole and the cube burst into flame. Unfortunately it hadn't gathered any loot before they slain it so all that was left was a puddle. Boz looked around the small side passage and found that there was no door on this side. The door which they found was in fact a trap. They entered the room via side passage and found a wall full of rotten scrolls, one scroll was still pristine though as it had a sealed case made of bone, they couldn't find out how to open it. Ylena took the scroll and the group found no more in the room and went down the other passage. This passage felt damper and was host to a plethora of fungi. A particularly luminescent cluster of mushrooms caught Boz's attention and he began to investigate only to internally quarrel until deciding against taking any, a shame too, the fungus would've done him no harm and also would've served as an excellent light source. The party avoided a spiked pitfall trap and found themselves in a large round chamber with a massive black pit in the centre and two small walkways around either side. On the other side of the pit there was a great stone throne the party split into pairs, Vonor with Boz and Ylena withToker. Vonor and Ylena each touched the throne causing something to snap within them. Vonor swung his sword at Boz, luckily missing. Boz retaliated by punching him in the face. Vonor slipped and fell from the ledge. Boz grabbed him and pulled him up noticing that he was now unconscious. Ylena also dropped as Vonor did, she snapped out of her stupor and grabbed the ledge. She tried to pull herself up, but something stopped her. A black tentacle the width of an arm, wrapped itself around her foot and held her in place as spores began to rise from the pit. Boz woke Vonor up with a few swift slaps to the face. Vonor looked to Ylena and shouted her name. Boz saw the happenings at the other side of the pit and threw his dagger to cut the tentacle. The small blade only bounced off "Shit! I thought that'd work." Boz cursed. Toker held a wooden club in his hand and Ylena had a bright idea "Dwarf, light the fleece and club!" The dwarf grumbled "You owes me a fleesh." Then put it on the club and lit it "Now throw it in the pit!" Boz shouted. The tentacle released Ylena as the fire approached it. Ylena scrambled up onto the ledge and Vonor shouted "Run!" The burning fleece plummeted to the bottom of the pit and a blood curdling roar was heard as more tentacles emerged from the depths. The party fled out of the complex, up the stairs and through the mine. Tentacles appeared from the other mine passages behind them as they made their escape. They left the mine and found a old wizard with a group of Knights. The wizard cast a form of magical barrier which stopped the spread of the taint at the mine's portal. He turned to the party and said "You, what were you doing in there?" "Ey oh, let me handle this." Boz confidently said and then added "Ey we were some concerned citizens investigating the strange on goings." The wizard scowled "I'll speak with the hunters, I know your sort." He asked Ylena what had happened and Boz tried to get his attention again "Ey pally what's that meant to mean eh?" "Oh begone guttersni- hmm… No, I could have use of you. I know your language." "Hey buddy, you tryin' to imply something?" "No you fool. Coin! I'm saying that there is a payment involved." "O-oh… Well uh, please carry on then." "As I was saying, I'll speak with the hunters. Now… What happened?" The half elves explained what had happened and the wizard detected no trickery. He told them to meet him at the Dreyder's-Fang-inn upon the mid-tenday (Friday) in Barrowfell. The party obliged and re-armed in dropforge before heading out. As they left the village boundaries the druid noticed a squirrel that seemed to be trying to shout at them. *squeek squeek* it made the same irritating sound and waved its hands in the air until they finally approached it. The druid tried to communicate with it however the understanding was only one-way. As he was now fairly sober he said "Hey there feller what are you squawking about?" the squirrel slapped its head and shook it "maybe try yes-no questions." Boz jested but the squirrel liked the idea and made a happy sounding squeal. "Oh aye… can you put your right hand up for yes and the left up for no?" The rodent put up its right hand "Oh good good. So are you comin' with us on our little adventure?" The squirrel raised its right hand a second time.

After a few hours of travel the party came across a salesman and his wagon. "Howdy." He said as he went to work on repairing a wheel. The group all said their greetings and Boz offered to help. Ylena pulled him aside and whispered "Hey wait a second. If you're good at something never do it for free." "Look at the man, he's probably dirt poor. If we look like we're doing it from the kindness of our hearts, he'll probably reward us." "He'd better…" "Ay oh, you doing alright there pal? I'll give you a hand with that wheel. I know a thing or two about bodging." "Aye cheers lad. See the wheels come off and I can't think of a way to wedge it back in place." "Hang in there buddy. I'll make a splint to hold the axle together and then we can both lift it into place." Boz took a few minutes making a splint from some firewood and then strapped it in place and took one side of the axle "hrrr." The trader lifted the other side and lined it up before Boz fixed the wheel back on. He dusted his hands off and said "Well we'll be on our way now. Nice to meet y-" "Oh 'ang on 'ang on. Here take some of these supplies for your troubles." With that he handed them each 2 jars of fermented plums and some randomly assorted vegetables. "Oh thanks pal, say, you comin' from Barrow-Vale?" The man laughed and said "Oh gods no! You mean Barrowfell, and aye, me sister owns the water mill there." "Thanks friend, I take we're not far now." "Oh no, a mile and a half maybe." "Ay cheers buddy, see ya!" "Aye goodbye." Ylena pulled Boz aside again and said "Well what did you steal?" Boz stepped back offended "And I thought rangers weren't greedy." "Hmmf." They continued walking and just as the carriage was leaving their view, a shadow fell upon them. "Oh it went cloudy quick." Said Vonor whilst Boz stared up at a huge dragon along with Ylena whom managed to identify it as a female poison wyvern. Jack just stood there sipping a bottle of fermented plums. Ylena pulled Vonor off the road and Boz did the same with Jack. The four watched from the tree line as the beast snatched up a wagon, complete with a donkey and human. The wagon fell from the sky after a few seconds and then shattered across the road. "Well you wanted to rob the guy. The lizard just made that a whole bunch easier…" "Are you insane? Risk getting eaten for a few coppers?!" "I'm joking, don' worry about it. We should tell his sis what happened when we get to Barrowfell." "Maybe she'll give us somewhere to stay." "Maybe we shouldn't push her." The party came to a small roadblock with four armed men. Boz took the lead knowing that they were bandits and hoping that calling their bluff would make them leave. "Oi hold there. By order of the King you must pay a toll of ten silva to get through." "Ten silver between us?" The man leaned forward and got into Boz's face "Each." He spat. "Well then let's see your permit pal." "Permit, wot you reckon this is a robbery?" The men drew their weapons and the party, except Boz, stepped back. "Well it is." The big bandit swung at Boz with his mace and missed. Boz rolled behind him and stabbed him in a joint in his armour, incapacitating him immediately and soon killing him. At the back, a bandit wielded a crossbow and fired at Boz, however his panic caused him to miss and require a reload. Then a pair of bandit swordsmen rushed towards Boz but were intercepted by Jack who took some minor cuts, but managed to knock one to the ground. Now Ylena used her short bow and fired at the crossbow user however her hand slipped and she only did minimal damage. Vonor clashed swords with the remaining swordsman and won, but sustained some more moderate damage as Boz took out the crossbow user with his short sword. An arrow flew toward them and hit Boz in the chest, but didn't pierce his leather armour. A young bandit of about 16 ran out from some brush and pushed past Boz to flee. Ylena fired an arrow and caught him in the shoulder forcing him to the ground. He whimpered and tried to back up as Boz approached "Well what do we do with you?" "Pl-please mister don't kill me. I'll do anything!" Boz was willing to let him go and see about some information however Ylena was… Less merciful. She walked up to him and rammed her blade into his throat killing him instantly. Boz cried in outrage "What the fuck!?" "He could've warned others about us." She said "We are a group, we can't go doing stuff like that without agreement. He was a kid damnit!" Vonor added "He was only a human anyway." Boz scowled and turned away "Let's take what we need and go then." That dragon should've killed us Boz thought. The party crossed an odd bridge and entered the town of Barrowfell. It was a rather strange little town, most of the housing was built from pieces of tombs from Barrowvale, upriver. As was custom with most settlements, there was a well at the centre of town, surrounded by a small market and a few buildings. One large building stood out, it was the Dreyder's-Fang. Above the door was the sign along with a decorative, wrought iron, water-snake. "So what is a Dreyder, anyway?" "Some sort of serpent - Probably." "Oh. Interesting." "You think?" "Nah not really. It's pretty boring compared to the dragon we saw earlier." "City sorts - So predictable." "Yeah yeah, whatever lady." The group entered the inn and Boz sat at the bar, feeling the underside of a wooden lip. It was as he hoped, inscribed with Braille-Cant, "Fangs really irk, so try orange orbs liquor, buy your first in royal estate's-sale." It was some very easily deciphered thieves cant. It led to a fence whom Boz hoped to meet on the next Friday - the same day that Gaspar was to arrive. The party decided to rest at the inn for the night and investigate the bandit's camp in the morrow. After renting rooms and turning in for the night; Ylena, Vonor and Toker woke up to the smell of smoke. A home was almost burned to the ground during an unexplained night-time blaze. The half-elves both rushed to assist with putting out the fire. Jack Toker stumbled out and tried to help too. Boz, on the other hand, slept soundly through the whole night - it seems there is rest for the wicked.