Hi guys! So here i am, with a new one shot that i hope you will love...
although it's...
Painful?
Yes. VERY PAINFUL i'm sorry but remember : murder is not the solution! haha
This has been corrected by my friend : RedSnow1 because i couldn't have done it without her !
Also we're french so maybe there are some mistakes and i'm sooo sorry about that!
Lots of love guys!
« I can't loose you, because if i ever did, i'd have lost my best friend, my soulmate, my smile, my laugh, my everything. »
The christmas light where shining,brightly. In one of the streets you could here laugh and cheers. They were finally all together and united. All the pain, all the anger behind them. They were finally able to put their past behind them as they were, for the first time, celebrating together.
They had a great time. The diner was delicious and everyone was enjoying themselves. In Snow's little appartment you could see Emma and Hook cuddling on the couch, a soft smile on their faces,you could also see Snow in the kitchen, cleaning the dishes with her husband, watching from the corner of his proud eyes his daughter. Regina was on her knees giving all the gifts to the children, Henry, Roland and Neal with the biggest smile on her face. Even Zelena was there. Pretending that she didn't like being here when they all saw her smiling at Emma and Hook.
Surpisingly enough, Henry got a bow from Robin and mouthed a quick thank you to him before Roland or Neal could see him. Maybe he didn't believe in Santa Claus anymore, but they did and he would never ruin this for them. Roland was spoiled, he got so many gifts, as well as Neal. When they went in Henry's room to have fun, Henry quickly thanked everyone for the gifts and went to play with them.
It's only then that Regina saw a last gift. A little box with gold paper and a little arrow on it. Robin went behind her and kissed her neck.
I think you didn't got your present milady.
Robin... you didn't have to do this... you already gave me my gift earlier...
I know, but this... isn't a simple gift.
He took the box and let her tear the paper apart. When she was done, he took it from her and went down on one knee in front of her.
Regina, my love... We've been through... so much. Nothing had been easy between us. We've been apart for too long and so much happened in this time but from the moment i met you all i could think about was you. Your beautiful eyes, your elusive but satisfying smile, your laugh... I think that, actually the only thing that had been easy for us was falling in love with each other. I just had to see you once, and i was doomed to you. I could... say for a whole night how much i love you, how much you mean to me... i want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to make you smile. I want to see you waking up in my arms every morning, i want to lose myself in your beautiful eyes but above all i... i want you to be my wife.
He opened the box and through her tears of happiness she could almost see a ring shining. She felt so much things, happiness, love... So that was it ? This was her happy ending, finally ?
So Regina Mills, would make me the happiest man on earth and make me the honor of becoming my wife ?
He didn't have to wait long. She threw herself in his arms, kissing him with all the passion she had. When the need for oxygen became a necessarity they broke the kiss and she rested her forehead against him.
Yes... yes i will marry you. She whispered.
They could barely hear everyone cheering behind them. The world faded away. This was them. Just them forever.
When they finally remembered where they were, they got up and they let everyone congratulate them. Even the children, who came down when they heard everyone cheering.
Then, Robin encircled Regina by her waist and pulled her close to him.
I have a surprise for you... Follow me.
She didn't have the time to say anything, he was already running out of the appartment. He had planned this whole thing since a few weeks now. He wanted to take her to her house where he had secretely with the help of Henry and Hook prepared some candles in her garden. He wanted to surprise her. To make the moment magical.
He should have waited.
Regina, her son and the rest of the family followed Robin outside the building and what was supposed to happen happened.
They didn't see the ice on the road.
They didn't see the lights of the car.
They didn't think whether he was safe or not.
All they thought about was his intentions. They couldn't be more wrong.
The car hit him and everything else faded away. screams could be heard. Snow was way faster than the others and took Roland in her arms, crushing him against her so he wouldn't have to see his father die. Charming, Hook and Henry stood there, surprise written all over their faces. However, the loudest scream that could be heard was Regina's.
She couldn't believe it. After everything they've been through together, it was happening. She was, again, watching the man she loved more than everything die in front of her without being able to do anything. She started to run. She had to hold him. Emma, scared that the road wasn't safe, tried to stop her. Holding her by the waist, trying to stop her but she couldn't. Regina was too determined. In no time, Regina was free and crossed the street. She fell on her knees in front of Robin, taking him in her arms and softly touching his face, sobbing.
You don't get to die ! Did you hear me ?! You don't get to die !
Regina...
No ! No Robin i'm not letting you off our engagment that easily !
It's... too late...
Please don't leave me ! Don't ! Fight for Roland, fight for me, fight for us !
I'm... i'm sorry... you have to ta – ke care of him... and...
Don't say goodbye ! Robn please !
He coughed. They both knew it, it was the end. No matter how hard he would fight it, he was going to die.
Regina... i lo-ved you since the... first moment i saw you...
I love you too...
She couldn't believe it. After all the work she put in becoming a better person and find her happy ending she was losing her everything. His neck was wet from her tears but she couldn't care less. She couldn't lose him, not again.
I.. please... take care of Roland... he's...
I will... i will i promise...
Never... forget that i loved you.. with all i had...
Robin...
Ki- … Kiss me...
How could she refuse this to him ? For the last time, Regina offered him a sad smile and leaned to close the distance between their lips. She kissed him with all the love and passion she was feeling and let her forehead rest agaisnt his. She whispered those three words one last time and watched the light leaving his eyes.
I love you
His hand fell on the floor. His eyes were closed. And in the arms of the woman he loved so much, his soulmate, he let out his last breath.
Regina just stayed there. She wasn't crying anymore. She layed down against him. In his arms, for the last time until the ambulance and the cops came. She closed her eyes. Breathing him in. She couldn't explain it, but she felt like half of her heart had been ripped away from her. There was this whole that took place in her and it was getting bigger and bigger the more the time past.
She was not sure if she fell asleep but two strong arms are caring her. Lights are dancing in front of her eyes when she opens them. She tries to see some things but she can't. She then realizes that she's in charming's arms. He is taking her in the ambulance. Where's Robin ?
She starts to ask, tries to fight the arms that surround her. Then she realize. Robin is dead. Her fiancé, her best friend, Roland's father is dead. Tears come in her eyes. She was feeling angry. Angry at herself for not being able to protect him. Angry at the driver for hitting him. Angry at him for running outside without paying attention. She's angry and desperate.
Roland.
She has to explain to Roland what happened,
He's too young, he won't understand... she almost laugh at herself. Of course he will understand. He lost his mother. That child is now an orphan.
God she has too see him. But where's Robin ? Where's Robins body ? Who has Roland ?
Too many things are in her head right now. Where's Henry ? And Roland ? She has to take care of Roland. She has too see him. She made a promise she has to keep it.
God her head hurts.
She's in her house before she can even realize she left the street. Snow and Charming are here with her. Emma went taking care of the first things to do and she's relieved to know that Hook has Roland and Henry, she knows she can trust him with them and their safety. She's on her couch. Her eyes lost. When Snow comes to sit next to her after making sure the candles where gone, she almost doesn't see her.
Do you need anything ?...
I need to see Roland, she whispers, he must be so scared he...
I'm texting Emma, she's gonna be there soon with him and Henry...
And... where's... where is he ? Where did they take him ?
Regina...
Where did they take him ?
At the morg...
So this was it. It was real. Robin was truly gone. She would've laugh if she wasn't so upset.
Can you believe this ? I just... i can't
I'm so sorry Regina if there's anything i can do...
i just need him... she whispered, a couple of hours ago he was proposing... and now he's at the morg... it's ridiculous right ? It has to be, the most ridiculous thing you ever heard.
Then, she started to sobb. Eveything was getting out. Snow took her in her arms and hold her tight but it wasn't helping. She was shaking. Screaming. The pains only became stronger. She thought that letting go would help her, it didn't.
When ten minutes later Emma came with Roland and Henry, the little boy ran to her and Henry tried his best to hug her. Telling her how sorry he was, that he was gonna be there for her. Then they all left the room to give Regina and Roland some privacy.
The little boy just looked at her, his eyes full of tears.
Is Papa dead ?
Yes, breathed Regina, yes but baby i want you to know that i'm gonna take care of you, you're not gonna be alone i promise...
Regina could feel a tear running down her cheek while she was smiling sadly at Roland. She didn't know how she was gonna make it but she had to be strong. For him. The little boy whiped away her tears and looked at her in the eyes.
Don't cry Regina, he's our angel now... just like mama, he's gonna be in our little hearts and watch us. He's gonna make sure that nothing happens to us i promise !
She recognised Robin's words. It had to be what he told her when Marian died. She crushed the little boy against her and promised him that everything was going to be fine. But how could it be ?
They fell asleep in each other arms on the couch.
[1 year later…]
The funerals had been stunning. Regina had planned everything with her family's help. She even asked Roland's opinion on some things. It had been a beautiful day. Many peoples where here to support her, to remember the person that was Robin of Locksley. She had a lot of support and she was gonna be forever thankful for that. The only thing she couldn't ignore : pain.
She tried to get over it. She did. She just couldn't.
After Robin's death, both she and Roland went to see Archie. To help them to get through it. She wasn't exactly a fan of the idea but she trusted Snow enough to believe it could help. After a few month, Roland was feeling much better. He could laugh, and have great days with his friends and family without feeling depressed or guilt because his dad wasn't here. He was growing up so fast ! She couldn't believe that he was already 6 years old. He actually grew very close to Emma and Hook and she was happy he had support in this hard moment of his life.
But she couldn't move on.
She just couldn't get through it. She tried everything. She had been seeing Archie for a year now but her state was only getting worse. She wasn't eating normally. She wasn't talking. The only moments she could actually feel better was when she was with Henry and Roland. She was losing weights, she knew it. She took meds, to sleep, to feel happier... nothing really worked. She was still crying herself to sleep every night. People stopped caring eventually. She thinks it was until a month ago that Snow came everyday to make sure she was eating, cleaning up and talk with her. Emma was helping her taking care of the kids with Hook. She tried to take her out one night, until they had to cross the street where it happened and Regina had a panick attack. She didn't try again. Snow started to come less until she didn't come anymore. The only person who was still caring enough to try to help her to get through this was Archie. He was coming everyday, trying different solutions to ease the pain to stop the depression. She was the only one she could talk to so she had to make him understand. Today was the last day. She couldn't do this anymore.
Do you remember the last time you felt really happy Regina ?
Yes... she breathed
Tell me about it, what did you felt ?
It was... it was that night... before... before he... no, no i can't do this !...
Regina, please... We've been through this together already, you can do this okay ? Just breathe and tell me, how did you feel ?
He... i just said yes to his proposal... i was smiling so much it was hurting me... i was... feeling lighter than i had in years... and... there was just so much love...
Okay Regina do you remember how it was ? All this love ? From the boys, your family, Robin...
Yes...
You still have it Regina, look around you... the boys are still here, they love you, so much... Your family is still here for you...
Here for me ? Did you know that Snow stopped coming to see me ? That chaming doesn't bring flowers anymore ? That Emma stopped trying to get me out of this house ? Do you call it being here for me ?
They were here for you... for a year … and they still are if you could only...
Only what ?! Stop suffering ?! That's what i'm asking ! It hurts Archie ! It's not just sometimes when i'm thinking about him, it's hurts all the time ! I can't get through this, not again i'm just...
Regina you can...
No ! It's been a year now and Roland spends more time with Emma than with me because i can't take care of him ! The only place the pain feels a little less unbearable is at the cemetary ! I'm still taking meds, nothing works ! This whole, in my heart, it's only getting bigger and darker everyday i feel it and you know what's funny ? I feel it in my whole soul !
Regina you did it once you're a strong woman with the most resiliant heart, i have faith in you...
The first time, when Daniel died... i felt anger. Of course i was sad, i was desperate too but i wanted revenge. I wanted his memory to be honored. Now ? Now i just need him. I can't do this Archie... and... the more i'm talking the more i realize. I can't do this, not without him.
Don't say this, you're scaring me, i'm sure we can...
Get out.
What ?!
Get out bug ! I don't want to see you anymore !
She shouldn't have done this. But she couldn't take it anymore. She poofed him back at his place and ran upstairs. She put on an hold shirt that belonged to Robin, she needed to feel him. Then she took some paper a pen, some meds she bought that day a bottle of whiskey and went on her couch.
Scared by Regina's words, as soon as he was back at his place Archie ran to his car and went to Snow's appartment. He pounded at the door until she opened.
I think Regina's gonna try to do something, i need you to come with me it's pretty bad.
As soon as he finished his sentence Snow, Charming, Emma Hook and the boys took their shoes and coats and went in the car to get to Regina's House. They had 20minutes to drive.
Regina was crying.
She knew what she had to do since a couple of weeks now. She couldn't give Henry and Roland up but now she knew they were gonna be taken care of. She finally found the courage to stop her pain.
She felt so sorry. She was giving up on the promise she made to Robin. But she had no choice. As whiskey was bruning her throat, she took another pill. She felt dizzy. She started to have trouble breathing. Her body started to react, good. She drank again and continued to write. She didn't have long left, she had to finish this. When she wrote everything she just layed down, seeing her life in front of her.
A childhood with a woman who had no heart, who couldn't stop to criticize her and a coward father whom she couldn't stop loving.
She remembered Daniel. Her first love. The first one who actually made her feel loved and worth everything. She remembered the way they fell in love. The way he put the ring on her finger. Snow's betrayal. She remembered the day when they tried to escape. The kind words of her mother. The way she believed she wanted her happiness. She also remember Daniel's gasp of pain when her mother ripped off his heart. The way he fell on the dirty ground. Her scream. She could almost still feel him in her arms. The way she tried to kiss him to wake him up. It never worked.
She remember the way her mother and mentor manipulated her to become the queen. How helpless she felt. How to forget the king's body on her ? Forcing his way inside of her with the name of his dead wife on his lips ?
Everything was going faster. She saw the moment she knew she couldn't bring Daniel back. She saw terrible moments of her past. When she had almost been killed by Snow and Charming. When she knew about the curse. The way she killed her own father. The way lights left his eyes just before he fell on the ground. She remember casting the curse. Adopting Henry. Meeting the savior. The breaking of the curse. How everyone rejected her. But really, could she blame them ? No.
Her head was spinning. She saw the way she saved Snow and Emma. The way they left her alone. The way they accused her for killing Archie. She remembered clearly when her mother found her. The way she manipulated her, again. She remembered putting her heart back inside her chest. Her death. Her despair. She wanted to kill everyone. The torture. Neverland. Her son. Her son dying.
Tears began to roll down her cheek. Losing Henry, god everything hurts. Meeting Robin. Twice. The missing year. All the sass, the attraction. Storybrooke. Her broken heart when she saw Henry for the first time. The way she fell inlove with Robin, she missed him. That's how she knew she had taken the good decision. She remembered when Marian came back, or, actually, Zelena came back. She remembered when she was frozen. When Robin chose her. The night in her vault. The shattered sight. The curse breaking. Robin chosing her again. Robin leaving. His hand leaving hers. His broken smile full of tears. The 6weeks apart. The danger. New York. His arms. She missed those arms, she would give anything to be hold lovingly by them just once more. The pregnancy. Isaac's mistake. The enchanted forest. Henry. Robin. Henry. Robin again.
Then, everything faded away. Emma's sacrifice. Emma's saving. Camelot. And they where back here, in storybrooke. Celebrating Christmas. The happiness on her face, Robin on one knee, everyone cheering.. and that's the last thing she saw. Everything went black. Her pain stopped. Robin was there.
Regina Mills was gone.
When the family arrived to her house, it was too late. They could all feel it. They crashed the door open and when they found Regina lying on the couch, uncouscious. They knew. Henry ran to her, tried to wake her up while Hook was calling for an ambulance but they knew it was pointless, Regina was gone.
Vilains don't get happy endings.
Henry was whispering her to come back, please, Roland was hugging Emma and Snow was in Charming's arms trying to stop the sobbs from coming out.
They saw a letter, a few hours later and all of them knew it was what was best for her. They would take care of Roland. They would honor the memory of these two lovers who couldn't live without each other and honor the woman with the most resiliant heart who was finally like us : Human.
To my family.
I know you all are gonna be here very soon so i don't really have much time to do this. But i want to say a few things before i go.
To Roland, my little knight, you made me so proud during this year and i'm sure you made your father proud too. You grown up so well, and i'm sure you're gonna be a great man. I'm sorry i couldn't take care of you. I'm sorry i couldn't keep the promise i made to your father but it's just too hard. I know they're gonna take care of you but don't forget that we love you and we're proud of you.
To Snow... there is so much to say and so little time. I want you to know that i always loved you. Even when i tried to kill you. You've always been like family to me. I wish we could have more time to heal our relationship but fate chose otherwise. Please don't be sad, you fought so hard to have your family reunited and you finally have this. You have your happy ending Snow, enjoy this.
To the boys, please take care of your ladies. Don't leave them. They need you.
To Emma, i'm sorry i tried to kill you, i'm sorry it took us so much time to get along, but i trust you. You have to take care of Henry. You have to take care of Henry and Roland. I wasn't able to do it but i know you can...
Henry, i think you know everything my little prince, how proud i am of you, how much i love you. Don't ever forget it, i will always watch you and take care of you. Know this. Don't blame yourself for our past, be the best man you can and find your happy ending. You have no idea how much you deserve this.
Finally i'm sorry to give you all up but this pain was just too much. I don't have much time left. I'm not scared. I'm relieved. My soul will find it's mate again and i will finally be happy again. Enjoy your happy endings, you all deserve it.
Regina