Scared

"But why Evans?" James demanded angrily, his patience finally at an end.

"Why what James" Lily replied grumpily, slamming her books down onto the desk. She had had a terrible day already, what with the surprise Runes test and twelve-inch long transfiguration essay that McGonagall had assigned their class. She did not need James Potter to add to the ordeal.

"Why won't you look me in the eye?" he said, dumping his books on his own desk that faced hers across their common room. Lily sighed at this - well, it was more of a frustrated and angry grunt than a sigh.

"I'm not not looking you in the eye, for Merlin's sake! You are being paranoid". Her defensive tone annoyed James no end, as did the fact that she spoke this sentence whilst diligently avoiding his gaze.

"But you are! You can't look me in the eye" he said, which earned him another grunt. "I think I deserve to know why" he said in a quieter voice, his hurt tone forcing Lily to meet his hazel eyes. She sighed again, genuinely this time, and walked around her desk and towards James. She stood before him, auburn hair catching the light of the late afternoon sun. James felt that familiar sensation that he experienced every time Lily got too close. It was like someone had conjured a cage of butterflies and set them loose in his stomach. Lily was still determinedly not looking at him, instead focusing on the floor between their feet.

"You want to know why I haven't been looking you in the eye" she stated. James simply swallowed - gulped - and nodded, even though she couldn't see him doing so.

"It's because... I'm scared to" she said in a small voice.

"And, erm, why is that?" James questioned in an equally soft voice, almost afraid of the answer.

"Because, James, every time I look you in the eye, I just... I just want to do… this" and she raised her lashes to lock eyes with him. James' heart literally skipped a beat at the intensity of the look she was giving him. Lily, meanwhile, felt a swooping sensation in the pit of her stomach as she realised what she was about to do.

She leaned forward on her tip-toes. James instinctively wrapped his arms around her waist and drew her body slowly closer to his. Lily's hands slowly brushed over James' broad shoulders, eventually behind his head which she cradled gently in her palms. Her fingers entwined in his perpetually messy hair, Lily tilted her head slightly and placed her lips on his.

Her lips were soft and hesitant; it was insecure. It took a minute or so for James to realise that Lily Evans was kissing him - his brain seemed to have stopped functioning altogether. Realising that James wasn't kissing her back, Lily pulled away, suddenly feeling very self conscious. She then spoke, her voice heavy with embarrassment and, if James was listening carefully, disappointment.

"I'm sorry" she whispered. Her face was now crimson and her eyes were dangerously close to spilling tears all over the carpet. James' heart lurched as he noticed this glassiness in her usually vibrant emerald eyes.

"That's why I couldn't lo-" she began, but was cut off when James' lips came swiftly down on hers, banishing all doubts from her mind. Despite these initial doubts when it came to kissing James Potter, Lily responded almost immediately, softening her mouth against his and allowing him to deepen the kiss.

His hands were placed delicately on her body; one supporting the base of her head, the other tenderly caressing the small of her back. Lily moved one of her hands down from behind his head to trace his jaw line, before snaking back around his neck and helping her to close the remaining distance between them.

After a few minutes, during which Lily and James had thoroughly examined one another's lips with their own, they were forced to come up for air. Their eyes, which had been closed throughout, opened at exactly the same moment, which elicited a small gasp from Lily.

She stood before him looking gorgeous, terrified and a bit guilty.

He stood before her looking shocked, strikingly handsome and a tiny bit smug.

A small smile tugged at the corner of his lips. Lily's wide eyes (open in amazement that she had just properly snogged James Potter without the assistance of Firewhiskey or a game of truth and dare) narrowed at the close-to-cocky look that was so often on James' face.

"Don't make me regret this Potter" she warned, going to point at him, forgetting how close they were, and accidentally jabbing him in the stomach.

"Geeze, Lils, I wasn't that bad was I?" he asked, rubbing the spot she had just brutally attacked. But the twinkle in his eye told her that he knew just as well as she did that he was by no reasonable measure a poor kisser. She just stared at him, unable to stop now that she had given in.

"Judging by that look, I would say no, you think I'm a good snog" James said cockily.

"Yes, but I can't tell you that. Don't want you to get a big head, do I?" she said, barely containing a grin - James always knew how to lighten a situation.

"Keep kissing me like that and I'll get the wrong idea" he teased.

Lily just continued to look at him, a small smile working itself onto her face. James, suddenly quite concerned that Lily was just messing with him, felt the colour drain from his face.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" he asked, warily. Then suddenly all sorts of unbidden thoughts crossed his mind. What if this was all a prank? A hideous, horrible joke at the his expense? Panic and self doubt were starting to creep in, but for the second time that day, Lily surprised him with her answer.

"I'm looking at you like this, James Potter, because I'm not scared anymore" she replied simply, before kissing him passionately once more.

Disclaimer - I do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters

AN - I would like to dedicate this, my first LJ oneshot, to two people. My friend Freya who got me into fanfiction in the first place (thank you!!!) and to my sister, who got me hooked on Lily James stuff. You guys rock. Also, Elli you are cool... your encouragement is nuch appreciated - thanks gorgeous!

I hope it was okay - i was going for romantic fluff, and I was trying to steer clear of smut (which i think i did well - although you can decide what they do after their kiss..?) and i hope the characters are in character enough to satisfy all :)

PLEASE REVIEW! happy fanficcing :)