AN: Hey there. My first attempt at making a crack fiction. Reviews are needed.

WARNING: MIGHT CONTAIN MATURE CONTENT LATER ON. THIS CHAPTER IS RELATIVELY SAFE.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. Someone else does.

Ch.1

Kumori began to curse quietly as she nicked her thumb on a particularly hard slip of paper. She grit her teeth as blood began to well up in the cut, her annoyance only growing. Here she was having to stay late at work once more instead of being able to get a life, just because her boss said so. Yeah, she got paid overtime, but still the loss of her evening wasn't helping her mood.

"Stupid paper cut," she growled under her breath as she got up from her desk and went into her boss's office to look through his desk for a band aid. The man had about everything you could think of in that desk of his, from manga novel's his kids had left in his office to crayons and Barbies. She also knew he kept the fine maple mulled brandy on the book shelf behind the law text book well out of the reach of his kids and wife, so he probably had a band aid somewhere in that infernal desk of his.

"Ah, there it is," Kumori muttered as she found one sticking out of the pages of one of the manga novels.

"I wish I had a life that actually involved hot men. At least then all of this could be a bit more bearable," she grumbled as she picked up the novel to get the band aid, her blood smearing slightly across the cover. Kumori froze as the book suddenly started to glow and she screamed as the floor suddenly gave way. She kept screaming as she fell through a dark hole, the office ceiling quickly being lost in the darkness and suddenly she was falling out of the hole into a bright blue sky the hole quickly being lost as it closed up. Splash! She landed in hot water before she rose sputtering and gasping to her feet in the surprisingly shallow water.

"Agh! What the hell?!" she cried as she looked around in bewilderment.

"Are you alright?" came a deep masculine voice. She paused to look at the source of the voice to find a very attractive Asian looking man standing on the bank of what looked to be a pool, a short towel wrapped around his waist. He had defined chiseled muscles wrapped around a powerful looking torso and arms, his body hairless except for the long silky brown hair he had that went past his waist. Hot damn, she thought as a little blood began to trinkle from her nose alarming her.

"Actually, I don't think so. My nose is starting to bleed for some reason," she said in alarm. The man blushed and looked away with a nervous grin and a chuckle as if embarrassed for some reason.

"Is there a particular reason there is a woman on the man's side of the bathhouse Hashirama? What would the populous of the village think if they knew that their Hokage was having 'relations' in the public bathhouse?" came an even deeper sensual voice as another man exited the bath house with measured steps coming to a halt beside the hot water I was in. He too was clad in a short white towel, exposing his muscular defined abs and torso a wild spiky mess of long black hair hanging down to his lower back. Holy moley Guaquamole, the young woman thought to herself. Unlike the man from before, this man had a leaner frame, his muscles even more pronounced despite the fact that they were more compact. If the other guy was hot this guy was smoking hot.

"Hey! Don't go jumping to conclusions Madara! A black hole suddenly opened in the sky and she fell out of it! It's not my fault she's here!" snapped the long brown haired man defensively.

"What's going on here?" came another voice as another man came out of the bath house dressed in only a short white towel. I could feel the steady flow of liquid dripping from my nose but I couldn't tear my sight away from the three handsome men. The newcomer had a stern youthful face with silver hair and a red line on both cheeks and on his chin, his body as delicious as the other two.

"Your brother is claiming that this woman fell from the sky an into the hot springs Tobirama. I suggest you lecture him on forming better lies for in the future. It would be unsightly for the top ninja in the village to be known for making such foolish claims."

"I'm not lying Uchiha!" growled Hashirama defensively as he elbowed the dark haired man. Meanwhile their female guest was having dirty thought about all three hot barely covered males before her. I wish a gust of hair would blow their towels off, she thought longingly after a moment with a wistful sigh. All three men yelp as there was a sudden gust of wind, each raising their arms to shield their face as the hot steam of the hot springs was swept away, giving Kumori a front row seat as each of their towels was blown off and into the hot springs. Each male froze as they realized that they where naked in front of a woman who was currently gaping at them with a slack jaw and wide shocked eyes. Hashirama yelped and dove behind his brother who scowled and covered his modesty with his hands, his cheeks turning bright red making his red lines disappear from his cheeks. Madara looked between the young woman and the cowering men before he snorted and strolled into the hot springs easily, looking unconcerned as the young woman's shock attention was immediately directed towards the man coming toward her in the water.

"Is there a particular reason that you're still here?" he asked quietly, his voice growing husky as he leaned forward to speak in her ear. It was too much for Kumori to handle. His scent was fresh and musky, defiantly masculine and despite the heat of the water she could feel his body heat rolling off of him, he was so close. This Madara Uchiha man had officially broke her hotness meter and she was thrown back by the force of her geyser like nosebleed. The men yelped and she was falling once more, the darkness surrounding her as the handsome man's startled face was lost rapidly as she fell into the darkness.

"-ori! Kumori! Come on kid, wake up," came a distant but upset male voice. Kumori groaned and her eyes fluttered open to find her boss's worried face hovering over hers, the ceiling behind his head. He quickly helped her sit up as she blinked owlishly at the room.

"What happened?" asked her boss as she shook her head wincing at her head ache.

"I'm not quite sure. I came in here looking for a band aid or something when I cut my finger," Kumori said with a frown as she looked at the dried cut on her finger. She looked over the room to find that there was a book lying next to her on the floor. Her eyes widened in shock when she realized there were two men on the front that looked like the cartoon version of Hashirama and Madara on the front. She picked the novel back up and a band aid fell out landing on her lap. She jerked in surprise to find there was blood on her shirt.

"What the hell? Where is all the blood from," she said in shock. Her boss frowned as he helped her to her feet.

"It looks like you had one hell of a nosebleed. That would explain why you passed out all of a sudden. I'm going to give you the day off. Go ahead and schedule an appointment with a doctor, ok?" he said as she stood.

"O-ok," she said uncertainly as she frowned at the cover of the book. Naruto it said. She frowned a bit more as she made note of the spelling of the name and handed the book back. As she gathered her things and left the office she frowned. She had some research to do.

When she got home the first thing the young woman did was get a decent shower and put her cloths in the wash. She didn't need her work cloths getting stained by the blood or else she would have to replace them. Dressed in a robe as she ran a towel through her hair she sat down in front of her computer and pulled up Google intent on finding out what this Naruto was. Soon she was reading the first manga online as she ate some cookies. She paused halfway through the chapter, her cookie halfway to her mouth as she realized what was happening in the book. Naruto had just transformed into a beautiful naked woman and his teacher was thrown back by the force of his nosebleed. Just like she had when she had been looking at those three gorgeous naked men. She quickly looked up what nosebleeds meant in anime and found that it meant that you where looking at something perverted (at least for the Japanese culture." She frowned finally realizing why Hashirama blushed. It was because she had been perving over him and he knew it. Wow. After a moment the young woman's interest in the three men grew and she decided to look up the three men from that she had seen. It wasn't until she had gotten on deviant art that she found all the yaoi (Man x Man) fan art that had been made of Hashirama and Madara. Kumori gasped before being thrown back by the force of her nosebleed unable to handle the sight of two hot men that close to one another shirtless while looking all sexy like that. She was falling once more down a hole into darkness her consciousness fading quickly.

Here we go again, she thought.

AN: thanks for reading. Please leave a review and vote for who you want to show up next after Madara and Hashirama.