**A/N**

Hello again. I've decided to try for a multi-chapter this time. I hope this is good, let me know if I should continue. Also, keep in mind that I have midterms and a bad track record for finishing projects . . . but I will do my very best if you want to read more. Will eventually be rated M for later chapters, this will be S/D slash, and full of angsty goodness.

I, in no way, own anything of Criminal Minds, or the Musical Masterpiece that is James Blunt's Goodbye My Lover.

Prologue

Derek Morgan stood at the gate where his flight was boarding. He craned his neck to search the rippling sea of people, unable to find his target. In his mind, he battled between relief and pain. It was for the best. If he had come to see him off, it may have weakened his resolve. As it was, he was so close to breaking. Never mind that it was a done deal; the paperwork had gone through, his request had been allowed. He was still on the verge of selfishly bolting and trying to unravel everything he had woven together.

And yet, it still hurt that he hadn't come.

Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.

He turned and scanned the the sad but supportive faces of his makeshift family. All but the one who wasn't there. Leaving them with a small smile, he pivoted and boarded the plane before he could change his wavering mind.

He had done the right thing. He was still horrified by the signs he had seen in himself, and his weakening grip on his control. And the worst part was, he knew he could get what he wanted. If he pursued his desires, Derek knew the he would fold. After all, he had spent years perfecting his methods and he could be very persuasive. There was no way he could subject his best friend to such brutality. The feelings that had been growing in him would never be realized, and he could only hope that one day he would be free of the guilt of them.

So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.

It was unreal how absorbed he was with thoughts of him. He never would have thought such obsession was possible for himself. Most of the time they consisted of sweet words and peaceful time spent together, of smiles and laughter. But sometimes, when he let down his guard, the affectionate glances became heated, playful wrestling became foreplay, and lust overtook him.

I've kissed your lips and held your hand.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.

He comforted himself with the knowledge that he had never acted on these unwelcome, but surprisingly strong, desires. They had never made an appearance outside of the confines of his mind. This was why he was leaving. He could feel his control weaken daily.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

Five years ago, he would of made this move to his home city with no reservations, thrilled with the chance to work where he could carry on an active relationship with his family. But these people he had worked with, they had changed him more than he had realized. Especially him. Now, the move was more painful that he had ever expected.

I am a dreamer and when I wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the father of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.

Derek knew that he would be hurt. He wished there was some other way he could have resolved this, but he could not come up with another option that would protect his friend so completely. He was sure that with the help of the team, his reopened wounds of abandonment and betrayal would be sealed once again.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

No matter his resolve though, his mind could not let go of him. His heart was blinded to anything else, and denying himself the desire of his heart was excruciating. His commitment issues had no place where he was concerned. There was no other future that he could see himself living, and he had to sabotage it. But his mind, his heart, his dreams, would not let their share of him go.

And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bare my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

The plane took off, removing him from his old life, and he struggled to hold in his tears of frustration as he held his head against the window.

I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.
I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.

He suddenly felt hollow.

Well? Reviews get a cookie XD