Title: Breakdown
Couple: Naruto and Sakura
5 years after Sasuke left, he was brought back dead. This is 4 years later, Naruto and Sakura are married but their marriage is in the verge of a breakdown. Why?
Enjoy!
Is it all or nothing at all?
There's nowhere left to fall when you reach the bottom
it's now or never.
Is it all or are we just friends?
Is this how it ends, with a simple telephone call
You leave me here with nothing at all.
-OTown
"Sakura?"
I look up, hearing Naruto call me. He's right beside me, sitting on our bed.
"What?" I ask, noting his dark expression.
Silence.
He takes a deep breath.
"Let's face it, Sakura-chan, I'm only your second best."
I winced at his attempt to distance himself from me. He has never called me 'Sakura-chan' ever since…
"How could you say that?" I whispered brokenly.
He let out a laugh, but it didn't warm my heart like usual.
I turned to him, looking for those piercing blue eyes that just stabbed my heart everytime with intense emotions.
I bite my lip to stop myself from gasping.
Empty, so, so empty.
"We can't continue living this lie, I'm sick of it."
My eyes tear up. "So you're saying that all this time- these past 4 years together, it was all a lie?" I choke.
His gaze softens and I am suffocated by the tender love he emanates, for me. My chest constricts as he proves to me yet again, nobody had ever loved so much, and nobody has ever been loves so much.
He cups my cheek and I find myself relax the second his warm skin touches mine. He wipes away my tears.
"Sakura." He says simply.
I close my eyes. Finally, he says my name normally, like how it's supposed to be said.
"It's not a lie, it's just what we want."
I open my eyes in horror, he just stabbed me.
"What- what are you saying?!" I panic.
No don't. Don't leave me, not like him, I won't survive.
I am about to say all those things when I gasp.
"N-Naruto…you're crying." I say shakily.
Oh no, what have I done to him?
He laughs sadly and looks down. He brings me closer to him until I am in his embrace.
His scent constricts me, his warmth burns and the emotions, everything about him, it just kills me. He loves me. He loves me so much. And so do I. Until everything just hurts because it's just too damn much.
"We can't always have what we want, Sakura-chan." He whispers into my ear.
There is a tone of finality in his voice, punctuated with his repeated use of 'Sakura-chan' instead of just me. Just 'Sakura'.
"You're leaving me." I state in a low voice.
He holds me tighter. He shakes his head vigorously, as if I just said some horrible, ridiculous idea.
"Sakura-chan, I was never there, never in your heart. It was always Sasuke's place." He broke.
This time I hold on tighter. Hot tears stream down my cheeks. "You don't love me?" I ask.
"When are you going to get it?!" he retorts fiercely. "I love you, damnit! I love you so much, so much until it just- it just tears me apart because I know and you know! We both know that this, what we have, it's never going to work because we've left it out for too long and now it's just too late and…" he pulls back and stares at me intensely. "We can't fix it. We can't do anything about it, it…it's just gone." He ends.
We sit there together, on our bed, in silence.
I think about all the years we've been through together, from our time in the Academy, to the Chuunin Exams, to when Sasuke left and to all those years we chase after him.
Until one day, 5 years after he left, we came back from a mission unrelated to Sasuke only to find his lifeless body, someone else had found him, someone else had brought him back. We never did accept that he died. He was so, so strong and for it to be so easy, so fast, that he just came there, we could not believe it.
But he was not our Sasuke anymore. Those 5 years had changed him and no matter how hard we tried to never give up hope on him, we knew, deep in our hearts, that he was gone.
Like Naruto just said, we can't always have what we want.
I always did regret how we just let go.
But now, I just cannot not let this go.
"But I love you." I say strongly.
Shivers run down my spine as I feel him reach for my hand.
"I love you too." He says hoarsely.
I turn to him immediately, about to cry again. "Then why can't we work this out? Why can't be just…be happy? Why d we have to keep the pain from the past with us wherever we go?" I ask angrily.
He stares at me, contemplating. "Because…it's a part of you. It's a part of me. It will forever be a part of us."
"But- this is more important, Naruto. Us! We're important too! If our past is keeping us from being together then shouldn't we just start anew?"
He takes my other hand. "But then, it won't be 'us' anymore, there will be something missing, like how there's something missing right now."
I look down at our connected hands. I see the silver ring around his finger, the proof of our promise to be together, now crumbling down.
A thought hits me.
"Is this because I said I wasn't ready to have children? I mean, we could try, I never said that I didn't want to have them-"
"Sssh.' Naruto says gently, stopping me from my panic. "Sakura, I will never leave you just because you're not ready to have children with me. We're still a family otherwise." He smiles gently at me.
And he just made me fall in love with him all over again.
I frown. "Then what's wrong?" I finally ask, afraid of the truth.
He looks at me with the most pained expression; I steel myself for his words.
"I don't know." He chokes.
My breathing becomes quicker. If we can't find the problem, we'll never be able to fix it, and Naruto will leave me, and I just can't.
"Sakura."
His voice brings me back.
"I'm sick of this." I say.
Silence.
"I-I see. I'll leave then…" Naruto stumbles over my sudden confession.
I can feel the pain seeping from his words.
I hear the bed creek as he gets off of it.
The next seconds pass by like hours.
My thoughts come like a storm, it's all blur.
But one thing remains the same.
I love Naruto, and that's all that matters. The rest, well, I don't give a shit anymore. He just has to stay with me.
Something in me snaps and I grab his wrist. He stops and turns to me immediately.
I pull him towards me, our lips crashing. My hands snake up behind his neck, pulling him closer. He licks my bottom lip and I moan. He deepens the kiss.
We both fall onto the bed.
He stops and pulls away, confused.
I look up at his face, his beautiful face that always takes my breath away.
"Screw everything else, all that matters is us." I tell him seriously.
We stare at each other for a longtime until he breaks the silence.
"Are you sure? I could hurt you again." He says softly.
I reach for his cheek and smile warmly at him. "Like how I could hurt you. But I love you and you love me and that's enough. That's enough to keep me happy for the rest of forever. I'm going to work hard for us, Naruto. But only if you will too."
He is staring at me again, silent. My heart plummets, he doesn't want this.
He smiles. My heart starts beating rapidly.
Before we know it, our noses are touching and then our lips.
And then we proceeded with the act of love itself.
I tried to capture pain and love and regret in their rawest forms here, all mixed up together with the past. I do realize that it may be dramatic rather than the heartbreaking reality kind of feel that I was going for so if you have any suggestions, feel free to review!
-DarlingDearesrDeadForever
