Somewhere in the more sadistic part of my soul I thought it would be a good idea to do a commentary on the infamous "My Immortal" because I'm quite unoriginal, enjoy and god speed! (my comments are in bold if you couldn't already tell)

Chapter 1.

AN: Special fangz (get it, coz Im goffik) Ha, fucking ha 2 my gf (ew not in that way)how is it ew? raven, bloodytearz666 lemme guess bloodytearz666 because your goffik, right? 4 helpin me wif da story and spelling. Well she did a shit job didn't she U rok! Justin ur da luv of my deprzzing life u rok 2! MCR ROX!

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Hi my name is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way Your parents knew you would be a fuck up with that name and I have long ebony black hair (that's how I got my name) You parents wouldn't have known you were going to have ebony hair when they named you with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee (AN: if u don't know who she is get da hell out of here!).I'll just show myself out I'm not related to Gerard Way but I wish I was because he's a major fucking hottie. If you were related to them and you thought they were a "major fucking hottie" then you may have to see a family counselor I'm a vampire but my teeth are straight and white.I doubt your teeth could be any straighter and whiter than yourself I have pale white skin. I'm also a witch, and I go to a magic school called Hogwarts in England IT'S IN SCOTLAND YOU KNOB where I'm in the seventh year (I'm seventeen). I'm a goth (in case you couldn't tell) Gee I wonder what the signs were and I wear mostly black. I love Hot Topic and I buy all my clothes from there.Hot topic aren't even gothic For example today I was wearing a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots. I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation, black eyeliner and red eye shadow. You weren't dressed like a goth you were dressed like a whore. I was walking outside Hogwarts. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, Snow and rain is called sleet which I was very happy about. A lot of preps stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them. A little aggressive there love.

"Hey Ebony!" shouted a voice. I looked up. It was…. Draco Malfoy! That ellipses added so much suspense.

"What's up Draco?" I asked.

"Nothing." he said shyly.

But then, I heard my friends call me and I had to go away. HOW DO YOU HAVE FRIENDS AND I DON'T?

AN: IS it good? No PLZ tell me fangz!

Even after the first chapter I feel engrossed in this girl's life and her two dimensional character that couldn't be more of a Mary-Sue if she tried, thanks for reading! Lemme know if you want me to continue :)