Chapter 1

My life has never been normal. Never. Of course, the reason for that could be because I'm sort of a secret agent. You know, spy, agent, that kind of thing. It just might have something to do with that.

It all started when my parents had both disappeared on a mission, while I was merely a five-year old. They had left me with a babysitter, and everything had seemed fine. But suddenly, all these men in black suits were taking me somewhere in a strange black car. I didn't cry, I never cried.

Besides, the people seemed nice enough, and the car was really shiny, which did please me on a number of levels. I ended up being trained to fight, since the other agents seemed to think I was somehow in mortal danger. It didn't matter though, because for a ten-year old, I was a really good fighter.

I told them I wanted to be an agent, just like my mom and dad. Of course, I was denied that at first since the agents I was staying with were very close friends of my parents, and one of them was even my mother's sister (I never thought of her as my aunt since she seemed much too young to be called that at the time. And much too pretty).

But even they couldn't sustain me, and I ended up going to a special school. I graduated three years yearly, and I was now handed my very first mission.

It was more of a very long term test, actually. A very, very long one. Six years long, to be exact. It was simple. I had to go into a high school with a cover and make sure nothing happened. It was a really important high school, though, since there were so many celebrity kids there. My job was to protect them all, every single kid in the school. I was placed in sophomore year, where I would have been if I was a normal teen. Um, not the case.

I had fake parents that were both retired agents themselves. The cover story went like this: my parents had divorced when I was a baby, and I was left with my father. Meanwhile, my mother had gotten remarried so she had a husband and another child (the real reason the two agents had retired). But now, my father had decided that he wanted to find himself in the far away land of Germany, and I was left to live with my mother and her forever-beaming husband. Fun.

I attended high school like a normal teenager, the only normal thing about me, actually. Even I dreaded school. One thing that seemed completely unfair was that I had good looks and a nicely toned body (hey, an agent has to be strong) and I had to hide it since Chief though it would be better if I played the invisible kid.

I dressed in baggy puke-green clothes, and every morning I put a special liquid thingy in my hair to make it look greasy. There was no way I would make it naturally greasy. Ew.

I had to constantly remind myself to bite my nails (another thing I absolutely hated) and wore ugly shoes. I had to stick on a pimple or two (or three, or ten) to my face -which reminds me to ask god for breakouts since those fake pimples are really uncomfortable- and constantly put myself in humiliating situations.

Lets see, what are some good ones? Oh, yes. How about the time I had to stuff toilet paper in my pants and let a long strand hang out? Or put on a fake booger? Don't forget the time when I had to accidentally trip myself so that my lunch tipped all over me (I had soup that day, which Chief said was a nice touch. Actually, the soup part was a true accident).

So excuse me if after a year I didn't feel like I was an agent anymore and stopped taking things seriously. Which is why I didn't see it coming when all of a sudden, all of these men in black masks showed up pointing a gun to our heads and maneuvering us towards the gym where our shaking principle was being held at gunpoint.