She sat in Tony's Bar, thinking about what she just did. She knew she shouldn't have gone to tell him. She sipped her wine, knowing he was drinking Jack straight out of the bottle and cursing her. She wiped her face with her hands, trying to hold tears back. Their understanding of each other was rather paranormal, she thought. Whenever I needed him, he was there and I never asked. He could have been in China, but if I needed him, he was there. She sighed.
Her husband had questioned their relationship. When that young girl was raped and she was torn on what to do, his advice had, more or less been to leave it. Let him suffer the consequences. It upset her and she really couldn't say why. To have him kicked off the force, well, she wouldn't let it happen. She said that it was her that was unprofessional and allowed the girl and her rapist to get away. She couldn't let him take the fall. She couldn't have another partner.
When she was promoted to detective, she found herself a little lost on what to do without him. She solved her first case and wanted to celebrate with him, but he was more than distant with her. Was he protecting himself? Was he protecting me? Was he protecting Cruz?
She looked out the window of the bar at his apartment building, debating on whether or not to go back. She looked at the ring on her finger and wondered if she was making the right choice. He had this affect on her that he didn't know.
She was drawn to him. There was something about his bad boy attitude that made her want to tame him. She knew that underneath it all he was a big softie. A big heart and all. She smiled. She knew he could play it tough on the beat, but there were times, as they sat in the car, she wondered what it would be like to make love to him. She one time imagined those handcuffs were used for an entirely different purpose and she nearly exploded at the thought.
He never knew that's why she smiled around him.
He could be a pain sometimes with his near vigilante justice personality, but he never failed to protect people. When that little girl went missing and when they found her in the apartment of a known sexual predator, she felt a little proud of him for kicking the shit out of the guy. Still, she stopped it, but whether or not anyone knew it, he was the police officer that New York should want looking for their lost children.
She remembered the day he pretended to be a paramedic to make sure she and her daughter were okay during a bank robbery. She recalled how after her husband's heart attack, he got the kids without her asking him to and how she never let him tell her before she started jumping his shit. She wiped an errant tear. She remembered how he killed the young man that threatened her daughter and never asked for a thank you.
She remembered how she had lost faith in him after he was shot and how he called her out on that. And she remembered the guilt and the longing to hold him.
She remembered how he came to her when he finally broke down about the Towers. How she comforted him. She knew her husband was at the door and no matter what was said, he wouldn't want to hear it. She sighed. When she held him while he cried, she fought back the urge to comfort him more. She kissed the top of his head, but knew…Jesus! I'm in love with him!
She looked at his building once more. She knew he was drunk and he wouldn't know what happened, but she couldn't sit and do nothing. She knew she was marrying the wrong guy. When she fell in love with her partner, she couldn't say. Maybe it was the day he took the elevator down when recruits were to use stairs. Maybe it was…She didn't know. All she knew is that she loved him and it was damn time she told him.