This is love, right?
Durarara! Fanfic one shot
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Summary:
Anki(male Anri) believed he was incapable of both love and being loved. But It's all change on a rainy day when Anki have to spent a night at Mikoto(Fem Mikado) 's rented house(happen after the first season and before second season, One shot for Male Anri x Fem Mikado; rate M for safety).
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WARNINGS:
GENDERBENED WARNINGs: This story is one shot focused on genderbended Anri ( Anki) x Mikado(Mikoto)
SPOIL WARNINGs: This One shot happened after the first season and before second season. Though it has a little spoil content but I suggest you to finished watching Durarara first season to a few chapter of the second season first.
LOVE SCENE WARNINGs: this was my second fan fic (My grammar still did not improve T Tll) and my first time writing a love scene so I chose rate M for safety. Just for safety! OK!? Cz. I really can't write about that… um.. stuff – you – know. That's mean there's no lemon here, okay?
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LAST WARNINGs:
Don't say I did not say or warned you.
So if you're really OK about all my picky warnings and still decide to proceed, Well….
Please enjoy.
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Disclaimer : Durarara! belongs to Ryogo Narita(Author) and Suzuhito Yasuda (Illustrator)
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–It's all happened on a rainy day –
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"It's really raining cats and dogs today"
Anki averted his eyes from the sky, taking a little peek at his friend, Ryugamine Mikoto, who stood beside him in a female uniform of Raira Academy. They both stood beside each other in front of the entrance of the building, getting stuck there for around twenty to thirty minutes now due to the weather.
The rain did not stop since the morning. And it became heavier and heavier as the clock ticked by. It was really raining cats and dogs like his friend said. But for him, he preferred the word 'It's rained like there was no tomorrow' better. There was no sign it would stop anytime soon.
"Um"
Anki hummed in his throat for response and gave her a small smile. He looked back at the grey sky, taking in the good smell of the rain. They both stood in silence for another five minutes, listening to the rain until he heard his friend whisper.
"This is bad. This is bad"
Mikoto muttered. She shifted qualmishly on her feet as she looked at her wristwatch and the sky back and forth.
"What's wrong?, Mikoto-chan" He asked in inert tone but there's a hint of concern.
Her last name was always felt weird on his tongue. He always thought that because it was too long. Now, after Kida had leaved, he started to call her by her first name. It still felt weird and kind of tickle but he honestly liked it.
"…Umm" Mikoto put a hand behind her head, bit her lower lip and blushed timidly. She rolled her eyes back between him and her feet, hesitating for a brief moment and decided to tell him at last.
"I – there's a series on TV that I want to watch today so –"
Anki nodded with understanding. In conclusion, she just want to go back home to watch her program but It was still rained heavily. With an umbrella, there was no way she could not go through it without being soaked liked a drowned rat and ended up catching a cold.
"Umm, if you hurry back to your home and take a bath, it may be OK, I think" He expressed an opinion.
"OK" She nodded back and smiled. "Thank you"
"Then I'll get going" Mikoto bowed to him a little. "See you tomor – wha!?"
Anki was startled by a sudden yell from his friend when she turned to the umbrella holder. He looked at her warily and found she was standing, shaking before an empty umbrella holder.
"My –" She gasped, losing all the words. "It's gone!"
Anki was stunned for a brief moment before he could realized that she was talking about her umbrella that disappeared mysteriously. He then walked to her side, stretched out his umbrella to her and said. "Here, you can borrow mine"
"–But!"
He shook his head and gave her a small smile, stretching out his umbrella closer.
"No!– I can't!" Mikoto still insisted. Then she pound her fist on other palm with a fist.
"How about you walk me home!" Mikoto said. "You and I can use this umbrella together. This way, you can drop me at my house and go on so you don't have to being soaked much. At least, less chance for us both to get a cold, right? My house is closer than you anyway."
"….."
Anki listened to everything Mikoto spoke rapidly without stopping to breathe and simply nodded.
"It did not bother you, right? It's OK if umm –you don't want to."
Mikoto said and blushed even more when she realized what she had just asked of him. He slightly shook his head and smile.
With or without Kida, they walked each other home almost every day. It was a simple task, simple routine.
– Anything could not go wrong just from doing this simple routine in a different way, right?–
Anki smiled wider. He opened his umbrella and leaned closer, gesturing her to come under it.
Mikoto nodded shyly, muttering a word 'thanks' softly and came under his umbrella. He almost chuckle at how shy but happy she was, seeing that she was trying to hide her smile making the little warmth fluttered in a corner of his heart but he did not say or do anything. He just kept silence, only observing and let the warmth he felt lingering there.
Soon they started walking home, under the same umbra of his pale umbrella.
It's just a simple routine. All he must do was taking her home.
– Anything could not go wrong, right?–
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How foolish of him to easily think that nothing can go wrong.
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"It's gone"
Anki muttered calmly as he was searching again in his pocket. Mikoto looked at him with shock in her eyes.
"It's not in your school bag!?"
Mikoto tried to be rational thought she was the one who seem to panic – more than him who was losing his thing.
"May be I dropped it at the school."
Anki searched again in his schoolbag and stated simply when he did not found what he sought. He still kept his calm emotion in check though his mind already swirled with anxiety.
– Where the hell I should sleep with my freaking key gone missing!?–
Anki sight heavily.
Yes, his key for his apartment was just gone as if it vaporized in the air. Despite it had been sat in his pocket all day. Now, he had no way to go home. He just could stand foolishly at the front door of his friend's rented house, soaking and freezing to the bone because of the rain, having nowhere to go like a wanderer.
"..Ummm"
Anki got pull back from his own anxiety when he heard Mikoto's voice. He lifted his head and found that his friend was shifting qualmishly again on her feet. Her face was a bit red like plum and he did not sure that was because she started to have a fever or because of what she was going to say.
He stared at her, giving her a hint to say her mind. She hesitated for a moment and gathered her brave and said, jerkily.
"How – How about you– spent a night – at my – …house?"
The last part of her sentence was fade into a whisper as her face became redder. It took him a while until he realized what was she just said.
A girl and a boy in a room face to face over night –
A girl and a boy in a room face to face over night –
A girl and a boy –
Though he tried to conceal his inappropriate thought by reminded himself of their relationship as friends. But– it still made his face blushed in the same shade as Mikoto's.
"…Nah…" He really could not found any word to say.
"–Come on!" Mikoto suddenly raised her voice. "It just!– You and I are soaked enough and it really cold out here! I just don't want you to catch a cold just because you're trying to find a locksmith in this frea– this rains!"
Maybe he would not need a locksmith if he just slashed the door open with a little help from Saika. But that would not help about his – no – some bad luck burglar's security. And he thought she was right. They both were soaking enough.
"Tomorrow's a weekend and I live alone, so just a night is fine!"
Anki hold his breath for a moment before giving out a small chuckle.
It was not every day that you could get a chance to see a timid – no – super timid girl almost cursing and blasting her emotion out loud. And he knew that she did so just for hiding her embarrassment and kept him healthy.
Just a thought that she really worried for him made the same warmth he felt back at the school came sitting still again in his heart.
"Is it really OK – for you?" He asked after he finished chuckling, asking even though he already knew her answer.
"Of course!" Mikoto beamed at him with her honest smile. Her face was back to normal. Her eyes glowed with determination. "I can't let my best friend being freezed to death out there when I can still help! Right!?"
The warmth he felt turn into a little pin stung directly in the middle of his core.
– Friends – It was their current connection that he always thought that how it should be and would always be.
Anki wondered at himself why he should feel dislike about it now. He should be the one who satisfied with it the most, talking about his very condition.
"Please come in, Anki-kun"
Mikoto's voice pulled him out of his own thought. He followed her not far behind.
"Please take care of me" He bowed politely after he took off his shoes and entered.
Mikoto looked over her shoulder. Her smile was bright on her face. Her cheeks was a beautiful shade of soft pink. "You're welcome, Anki-kun"
–Maybe, just a night is okay–
Anki was sure he would not do anything to harm her so he assured to himself as he returned her smile and followed her in.
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***LINE BREAK***
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"What's wrong? Mikoto-chan"
Anki asked softly when he came out of the bath in some spare oversized yukata, supported by Mikoto. And found his friend sitting in distress at the front of her computer in her casual wear, A white loose shirt and blue shorts.
The world still filled with the harmony of the rain and kept running toward as normal. But his friend expression almost made him believed that the world might really come to an end because of a heavy rainy day.
Mikoto did not response. She turned to him with her teary eyes then she hold back a sob and turned back to her computer, moving herself weakly to the side and gestured at him to come looking for himself.
Anki frowned. He did not know that there was anything wrong. He expected to come out and see her happy watching her TV series so he went sitting beside her, putting a soft towel on his head and lean in to look at the screen.
At the corner of the screen, around the bottom at the right of his hand, there was a small tool box that read 'No connection'.
– No connection – no internet – That's mean–
"– All my attempt easily gone in vain" Mikoto sighed downcastly.
– Well, Mikoto-chan's world seem like coming to an end–
Anki wanted to encourage her but he did not know much about internet or comforting.
– but I have nothing to lose if I just give it a try, haven't I?–
"…Um..Could you watch it later on the internet?" Anki gave an advice and tried to smile to encourage her.
"I can…" Mikoto nodded weakly. "But today, it's the end of the series so I really want to watch it on live TV. Mostly, I'll watch it later but the feeling's really different."
Anki could only watch as his friend sighed again. He really felt guilty about how inadequate his knowledge about the technology was.
"I'm sorry" He muttered, lowering his head. – For not being any help to you.
Mikoto immediately looked up to him and shot him with a shock glance."No,no, no. It's not your fault. You don't have to apolo–"
"–gize"
Her last word slid right at his cheek softly when they both realized their position.
When Anki kept his eyes off the screen, he turned his head to Mikoto and lowered his head. After he muttered his apology, Mikoto turned to him and looked up. They both sat beside each other and they were close enough to the point they can sense each other's warmth. So now, their faces were really close.
– Accidentally close enough that if he bended down for a few centimeters. They lips would definitely met.
Anki did not sure how long Mikoto and him stayed in that position. But he was the one that decide to pull back at last.
Mikoto confusingly blinked at him for a few times. Her flushed face became redder like she was overheating and if he did not imagine thing, he thought that he saw some amount of smoke floating around her head like a halo.
It was like forever when they sat there in coyness. Then, the screech of the boiling water piercing through the air out of nowhere, saving the day.
"..a…a.. Excuse me!"Mikoto bellowed and stumbled her way out of the living room. Quickly disappear into the corner.
Anki exhaled in relief. He bended down, clutching his chest tightly, trying all he might to calm down his own heart beat which throbbed hardly as if there was a crazy band of percussion Instruments playing randomly in his ribcage.
But his heart beat was a minor problem compare to the chorus in his head, the voice of Saika.
I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. Let me slash her. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. You love love love her.I will love her, I love her. Let me love her too. I love her.
In the vortex of the repeating word which kept echoing through and through for eternity in his brain. Anki barely managed to catch a little glimpse of dangerous word from Saika and he tried to tell it to stop.
– No – He voiced the words aloud in his mind – I do not 'LOVE'. You 're not going to hurt her. –
The voice of Saika did not back down. It was still echoing with madness.
I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. You love love love her. I love her.I love her.I love her.I love her.I love her.I love her.I love her.I love her.I love her.I love her.I love her. I love her. Let me love me love her.
Anki was really shock. He did not know was shock him the most between about Saika could say anything other than 'I love you', how it evolved to express more of its obsession or about it pointing out his own feeling – his true feeling toward one of his best friend.
– No , it's not–
He insisted to himself. Saika could not say anything other than the word, 'love'. So about him being worry about Mikoto, fondling of being by her side, not too close but not too far then he could look at all of her reaction, really did not have any meaning other than friendship.
"Shut up" Anki shut his eyes tightly and muttered. Saika said the same thing again, again, again and again, making the anger boiled in his heart.
"I said SHUT UP!" He unconsciously shouted at the top of his lung.
A dull sound yanked him back to the realm of reality. He immediately turned his head back in time to see a startled girl, his friend, standing behind him. Her face was pale and she was frightful as if she had seen a ghost.
"..S..Sorry"
Mikoto murmured. She tried to take a step backward but her fear got the better of her. She stumbled over the edge of the table, stripping on a drop of water which fell from the teacup and turned a beautiful somersault in the midair.
"...heh?"
Mikoto exclaimed innocently. The time seemed to flow slowly when she was float in the air. Anki hold his breath, willing himself to quickly bring out the power of Saika to boost his agility and darted to her for the rescue.
Fortunately, he manage to held her in his arm before her head could hit hard on the table but unfortunately, he completely forgot about the tea flood on the floor and slipping on it almost on the same position as her.
"…a…?"
He exclaimed blankly but trying his best to protect his friend from injury by switching their position, using his back as cushion. Then–
*Bang*
Pain ran through his head and back. He bit his lips, trying his best not to let his cry escaped. He waited until the pain subsided and opened his eyes to see that Mikoto was fine. She was laying on top of him, cuddling at his chest. Her eyes were close tightly but there was no injury. So Anki exhaled again in relief.
Mikoto slowly opened her eyes. When she realize that she was laying on top of him, instead of prying away with shyness, she put her hands forward, cupping his face between her palm, staring straight into his eyes as she tried to lean closure.
At first, Anki though she was going to kiss him. But she just looked at his right and left side of his head as she said 'Are you OK?' and 'I'm sorry' repeatedly as if she was mimicking the voice of Saika.
Anki did not know that she was notice or not. But her hand was shaking a little now, showing she was still shock with the recent accident. Yet she kept looking at him with concern in her eyes. Her voice was clearly filled with worry.
Anki thought that was really some kind of – cute. And he really wanted to hug her and -
Anki stopped thinking midway, shocking at his own though – at how inappropriate it was.
–She 's a friend – He thought to himself. –- Stop thinking like this
He turned to focus on his said friend who still clung to his chest, busying checking his condition but it did not help much.
Her pleasing shampoo scent from her wet hair and her warmth only made everything worse. He barely insisted the urge to hug her.
"I'm fine." He amazed with how he managed to say it calmly.
Mikoto seemed not being convinced. She still looked at him with anxiety in her eyes.
"– It's OK – Could you please get off of me, if you don't mind?"
Anki just did not want to make her feeling guilty; moreover, he did not want himself to lose his control and ended up doing something he would regret later. So he tried to use the most polite word and tone as much as possible as he was trying to pry her hands away from his cheeks.
When he grabbed her wrists, Mikoto finally notice what she was doing now and how compromising their position was.
She immediately pulled her hands out of his grip, sitting up on his stomach before bouncing off his body as if it burned her, crying apologizing word and ended up fell again to his side. It might be because her legs were still too weak to support her.
"…Ah…sorry"
She murmured and looked down at her lap as she sat weakly on her shins beside him with her hands rested on her thighs.
Anki slightly shook his head as he lifted himself up to half-sit half-laid position. That was when he clearly saw Mikoto's face which blushed red like a tomato.
It was his first time seeing her red face with this close. It really made he felt himself how much he liked when she blushed and how much he loved to see her every honest and innocent reaction.
That was when he completely lost his control and Saika took over.
Anki 'aware' that his body quickly move forward, darting toward Mikoto.
He 'aware' that it was his hand that suddenly grabbed Mikoto's collar, pushing her forward, slamming her to the floor.
He 'aware' that it was him who ignored her cry, straddling her with his legs, pinning her hands with both of his knees, pressing a hand on her collarbone while letting a katana – the body of Saika, out of another hand slowly.
When the katana or Saika was out of his palm, his hand moved on its own. It grasped firmly around the hilt, flipping the edge of blade toward Mikoto before pointing its sharp tip above her neck, readying to pierce it through her throat in any minute.
He 'fully' aware that his body was moving and what he was doing! But he completely had no control over it!
I love her. I love her. I love her. I love her. I love her. I love her. I love her. I love her. I love her. I love her. I love her. I love her. I love her. I love her. I love her. I love her. I love her. I love her. I love her. I love her. I love her. I love her. I love her. I love her. I love her. I love her. I love her. I love her. I love her. I love her. I love her. I love her. I love her. I love her. I love her. I love her.
Saika's rabid shriek echoed through his mind, concealing the sound of the rains completely.
–This is bad! Really bad!– Anki bellowed to himself. Right now, he could not even hear his own thought.
Saika always had the extraordinary obsession over humanity. And this time, that whole extraordinary obsession was temporarily turned toward a single target which happened to be Mikoto.
Just to expressed a part of its love, Saika was more than happy to slash a human.
So if it wanted so badly to bestow all of its love upon a single human being–
Anki really did not want to imagine what would become of that person– what would happen to Mikoto. He really could not bring himself to. And he absolutely could not sit back and let that happened.
With determination, Anki gathered all of his courage and willed himself to get back the control over his body to protect Mikoto.
He managed to win back a hand on Mikoto's collarbone and used it to grab Saika's hilt just in time before its tip barely reach her skin. The space between point of the ancient sword was stopped just a millimeter away from her throat.
I love her. I love her. I love her. I love her. I love her. I love her. I love her. I love her. I love her. Let me love me love me love me love me love me love her. Let me love me love me love me love her. 'We' can love her.
Anki felt the strong resistance from Saika. It was so rampant unlike anytime he had ever faced before and he felt like it had no way for him to win.
"No…" Anki muttered, tightening his grip on the hilt until his fingers turned white. "You're not going to hurt her"
Thought it was seemed like he was going to lose did not mean he was going to give up easily. Especially, with his friend's life was on the line.
Their infighting went on and on like forever. And it was the first time that Anki lost – almost. If it was not for Mikoto, for her eyes that kept staring at him with conviction despite her shallow breath and her shaking form, he might have lost already.
Mikoto's eyes gave him courage and he used that to turn the blade from her neck, letting it sink deep into the Tatami mat beside her head. Its blade passed through her skin by inches but it did not do her any scratch.
Saika's voice still kept echoing in his head but Anki had managed to stop its action at least.
After making sure that he gained back the control of his body and Saika was frozen, Anki carefully pulled it back into his body and quickly got off from his friend, sitting beside her, using his hands for helping her sitting up.
He scanned over her body to find the injury. When he found no fatal wound other than the bruise on her hand, he sighed with relief but the guilt had already shrunk and stuck in his heart.
He opened his mouth, preparing to apologize but Mikoto interrupted him.
"..That's OK, Anki-kun"
Mikoto said simply and grabbed her elbow with other hand, looking at the floor before him, not looking at him directly. That gesture made more guilt exploded in his mind.
"I 'have to' apologize" Anki bowed his head to Mikoto. "She never act on her own like this before, I'm really sorry"
"…It's all right." Anki was really amazed which how Mikoto could manage to look at him and smile, giving him reassuring word as if he was the one who was injured, despite it was her fist time seeing Saika in action with that close. "I know you didn't mean to. So don't worry, Anki-kun."
– How can almost being beheaded and dissected by some crazy ancient Japanese sword and a friend being called all right?! – What will happen if I – If I can't….–
Again, Anki really could not bring himself to imagine of what would become of her if he could not stop Saika.
This time he could protect her but there was nothing to guarantee that he could do it the next time – or every time it happened. What if – What would happen if one day, he totally lost all of his conscious and awaken from it just to find his friend dead body and her blood all over his hand.
Anki strongly shook his head. He was definitely gone insane.– No way, he could stand himself after that.
And that was when he made another decision. The determination to leave, getting himself and Saika away from her as much as possible.
"Ryugamine-san" Anki used her last name as a hint to distance him and her. Thought it caused his heart to throb in pain, he continued doing as his decision, ignoring it. "From now on, please don't bother with me again."
Mikoto gasped. She clenched her hand as she looked at him with her teary eyes. Her shock and hurt expression made him suffocated with guilt and bitterness. He held his breath and willed himself to continue doing it. Because he had to do it – To protect her – He had to.
She sat still like a statue, may be busied trying to understand his word but he did not want to wait for her to response. He did not want to hear – whatever she was going to answer.
"Then, I'll take my leave now. Please excuse me."
He managed to say calmly and bowed his head formally. Then he prepared to stand up and leaved. That was when a hand shot and grabbed his Yukata sleeve. He looked down and found Mikoto's hand gripping tightly around it, stopping him from standing up.
Although he was shock by her sudden reaction, he did not let it show on his face and just said to her in the usual tone.
"Please let me go."
Really, he did not know what he said wrong. Because his words just made Mikoto's grip tighten even more.
To tell the truth, Anki could easily shake her hand off without using Saika's power. But he did not want to hurt her feelings – more than what he had done. So he just sat back, letting her cling to him all she want and tried to talk reason into her.
"Please understand. If you don't, I may hurt you."
Mikoto eyed him with shock. The fear in her eyes made another wave of pain ran through his heart.
It did not like he was telling a lie.
Surely, there was no way he was going to harm her. He would never ever do so. But Saika would. And when it happened, no matter what he said or felt. In her eyes, it would still be him who did it.
Such a coward he was. May be, what he was fear the most was not about hurting her but– about her seeing him as a monster – though he knew, in fact, he was one, always been one. A monster that was incapable of love and being loved.
So Anki waited and waited – for Mikoto to let her hand go. For her to secure her life by allowing him out of her life by her own hands.
But she did not let go.
Though her hand was clearly shaking – no– her entire body was trembling like a squab. But she did not let her hand go. Instead, she tightened her grip to the point that her nail dug into her own palm and her fingers turned white. She slightly pulled his sleeve to her, lifting her head up, looking straight into his eyes and said.
"I will never let you go."
Her word itself did not make him stunned. What made him stunned was her eyes – Her eyes which filled with determination.
He averted his gaze away and closed his eyes. Her earnestness was too bright for him to look. Because he knew, if he looked into her eyes any further, he would surely change his mind
"Please" He pleaded to her without looking at her "If you still see me as your friend, please let me go."
He thought this would be the last attempt. It did not mean he was out of his patience for her but it meant he no longer had the gut to prolong it any further. He also aware – that he badly wanted to stay.
He now understood the feeling of a prisoner in waiting for his execution. It was suffocating, heart strangulating. But all he could do was waiting for his final judgment.
After a forever of pin-dropped silence, suddenly, he heard a deep inhale before he felt a hand slid into his. The cold fingers – Mikoto's fingers joined his and gripped his hand firmly.
Then, in the dark behind his eyelids, he heard the whisper - her answer.
"I didn't see you as a friend."
Her voice was quiet but resolute and strong. He barely had a time to notice that Mikoto now stopped shaking but had no time to register what she was meant when he was slightly pulled forward. His head was bended down and his lips met with something wet and bland.
As if his time was stopped.
His mind went blank almost completely. He could not think of anything else other than opening his eyes by instinct and fell into the whirlpool of confusion right afterward when he saw how close Mikoto's faced and his was.
They both now were so close until their lips met – no – They were now kissing.
Anik felt like his head was spinning with the velocity of light while his heart was beating hardly with the overdose satisfaction which might killed him. He knew he should pull back or push her off or did something that could break their kiss but in the same time he knew he could not.
He could not bring himself to break it. Especially, when he was dying for it right now.
Mikoto pulled herself from him soon afterward. Anki barely notice that their simple kiss was over. His head still felt dizzy. His heat beat hardly with adrenaline. All he could do now was gasped, letting his face burned red with both embarrassment and fondness.
"…Ah..."
It took him a moment to find his voice but he could only manage to groan.
He looked at Mikoto's blushed face and felt like he should say something, anything. To tell her about this wild and undefined feeling that kept flooding in his heart but he could not knew what to say or what to do.
Mikoto kept looking at him for a brief moment before leaning closer once again and whispered.
"I love you."
That's right.
-It's that 'word'.-
Anki knew now what was the exact name for the feeling in his heart.
'That name', was the word he had been heard from Saika almost every second in his life. The word he never knew its true meaning, never knew what it was, never knew that it was really exist even in the ethereal world. Particularly, he always believe he would never knew it in his life.
But now. Here, he was. Loving someone, Out of all people –
I love her!I love her!I love her!I love her!I love her!I love her!I love her!I love her!I love her!I love her!I love her!I love her!I love her!I love her!I love her!I love her!I love her!I love her!I love her!I love her!I love her!I love her!I love her!I love her!I love her!I love her!I love her!
Saika suddenly roared again in his mind, interrupting his thought.
Now with him realizing and accepting a glimpse of his true feelings, it made Saika's obsession growth to the point that it was only the matter of time now for him to lose his control and let Saika took over.
As he shook his head vigorously, struggling all he might to prevent Saika from taking over again, suddenly, he felt the cold fingers laying on both of his cheeks. He rolled his eyes up and saw Mikoto's smile. She was touching his cheeks carefully and gave him a gentle smile. A smile, he could never leave his eyes off.
"Anki-kun" She called, pressing her palm on his cheeks gently, making nothing appear in his view other than her face. "It's OK"
She paused and inhaled before continuing, her eyes did not leave him even for a second. "I love you, Anki-kun"
The warmth overwhelmed his heart. For a second, Saika's voice and its frenzy faded a little bit.
"I love you" Mikoto said again. Anki really wanted to tell her how much he 'loves' to hear it but he still did not know what he should do for responding so he chose to keep silent.
"I love Anki-kun" She repeated softly. Her voice was so gently that Anki barely notice how cold her voice was when she continued."I love 'Anki-kun' not'you',Saika."
That was the first time, a girl confessed her love to him, repeatedly and repeately. That was the first time Saika got rejected directly from a human being.
And that was really the first time in his life that Saika's voice completely went numb and mute.
"Saika, you're trying to make Anki-kun leave me."
Said Mikoto. Her tone was so ruthless not like her usual tone. Her smile now turned cold. Anki was surprise for never witnessing this before but still chose to keep silent.
"For that, I hate you. You heard me?, Saika, I hate you."
The dead but peaceful silence was dropped between them. There was no other sound other than the sound of the rains.
Thunder rumbled over the sky. Lighting made the light in the room went out for a second. And when the light went back on, Mikoto's gentle smile was back on her face like it never faded before.
Anki blinked again and again, confusing at how easy Saika's voice was completely gone by a direct reject from a human, leaving his mind an amount of free space which he did not used to so he could only sat still like a statue.
Mikoto pulled her hands back, smiling slightly sad at him and said. "Sorry if I make you confuse. Anki-kun"
Anki lifted his eyebrows questioningly, staring at Mikoto and demanded for reason explanation voicelessly.
"About Saika, a certain information dealer advise me to do this when it seem she's trying to take over your body. I'm really glad it worked."
Anki felt that his heart skipped a beat – or stopped beating with disappointment. He was not sure.
– Then this all was just an act?– Anki shouted the question in his mind. He did not know what face he was making right now but it could not be good because it made Mikoto smiled sadly.
"No. It was not an act" She whispered like answering his mind. But it was not too soft so he could not hear.
"Everything I did and said until now, I did not lie even a bit" Mikoto repeated and continue increasingly but decisively.
"I always have feeling for you." She paused, lowering her head down, looking at her lap, avoiding his gaze but continued slowly.
"But I know. You are not feelings the same. You always see me as a friend, nothing more."
– no, you're wrong.
Anki tried to debate but he stopped when Mikoto immediately lifted her head up, giving him her unique shy yet gentle smile. But it made his heart ache so much, knowing that what she really wanted to do now was crying, not smiling and hiding her sadness away.
"So you don't need to answer me about how you feel, Anki-kun, I've already know."
Despite she was saying all these calmly. Did she know that he was watching her closely so he could clearly notice that her lips and hands were shaking? Did she know what he was thinking? What really was his answer!?
"So. Just. Please. Let me stay with you. No matter what I am to you. Please. Let me be by your side."
Her plea became the sobs and finally, she broke into tears.
The colorless liquid fell down from her cheeks, mimicking the heavy rains outside the window.
And that was his last straw.
Increasingly, He grabbed her upper arm and pulled her closer to him, ignoring her innocent exclaim before locking her into a soulful kiss.
When their lips met, he quickly reached a hand behind her neck, using it to support her head as he pressed his lips further into hers, invading her mouth passionately with his tongue.
Mikoto whined as she placed her hands on his chest, trying to fend of weakly. But it did not last long. Soon her resistance was nullified. Her limb went numb. She could only clung to him for support as he explored deeper and deeper into her mouth, feeding on her sweet flavor.
To be honest, he did not intend to let her go. Not if she did not start pounding hardly on his chest, telling him she was asphyxiating.
Anki pulled back grudgingly but still did not let go of her head and her upper arm. He still hold her loosely as his face lingered close to hers, letting her hot breath touching his cheeks as he was watching her gasping for breath and observing her cute red face.
"…A.." Mikoto moaned. Her grayish blue eyes lost their focus. She looked at him dazedly and confusingly, gasping and struggling to say a word but she could not.
He released his hand on her upper arm and laid it on her cheek, caressing it fondly before he whispered, giving her his true answer.
"I love you"
Mikoto's eyes widen in shock. She stared at him disbelievingly as if she was looking at a mirage.
Anki giggled at her attractive reaction as he leaned in closer until his lips was at the level of her right ear and repeated his answer – his feelings to her once more.
"I love you"
Mikoto still looked at him with the same disbelief. Tears welled up in her eyes and fell down her cheeks again when she slightly shook her head and muttered.
"…This can't be." She shook her head strongly. "No way"
Anki raised his head up to her forehead. He delicately planted a soft kiss on it, lingering there for a moment before slowly moved down to her nose and ended at her lips. This time he did not invade into her mouth but just touched it softly and pulled back.
"Mikoto" He called as he stared straight into her eyes and said it again for the third time, accentuating word by word loud and clear.
" I. LOVE . You."
Mikoto gasped at him. It took her a while for finding her voice again. "…But…how?"
"I don't know"
He actually told the truth. He really did not know why he love her
May be, it was start from a little appreciation or a friendship. He would never know,
The only thing he knew surely now was that he did not need any reason to love her. And he had no reason to hold back any longer.
"All I know, is I always keep distance and decline my feelings for you. To protect you from Saika"
Anki confessed. "Now, I can't take it anymore"
He rested both of his palms on her cheeks, cupping her face gently, staring straight into her eyes, taking in her attractive confuse yet innocent expression he never bored to see and asked amusingly.
"Do you believe me?"
Mikoto startled slightly like she was snapped out of her trance. She nodded hesitantly and tried to look down, escaping from his gaze but she was prevented from doing so by his hands.
"Look like you still need more solid proof"
Anki said teasingly. He moved his hands, one to the back of her head and another to her waist as he leaned in to plant a few soft kiss on her lips, to her cheek, lower, lower. He kept moving and moving, planting soft kisses along the way until he reached the nook of her neck.
"…A..Anki-kun!" Mikoto yelled in panic. Anki stopped kissing but he still lingered and breathed at her neck.
"Just Anki is enough" He said with a grin and continued kissing at her neck.
"….um…A…Anki!"
Though he did not see, right now, just by listening, he knew Mikoto was trying to hold back another moan by biting her lips. "Could we just…talk?, please"
– oh? – May be I got a little too fast –
Anki though and gave out a giggle. He honestly did not want to stop but he did not want to frighten her so he pulled back and sat obediently in front of his 'former friend'.
"Then?" He smiled as he was looking at her bright red face innocently, acting like he had no part in everything that made her embarrass.
"..Umm…" Mikato looked down, humming in drawl for a moment before lifting her head up and giving him a smile. "Firstly, I want to thank you…"
Anki lifted his eyebrows, looking at her questioningly. Mikoto answered his gaze shyly and smilingly.
"…For returning my feeling. For loving me."
Anki widen his smile. – She was not the one that should thank him.
All this time, he believed he was a parasite type of person who feed on the other's love. Until now he thought he could only cling around some people, infiltrating into their relationship and feeding on their feelings. He never imagined that he could love or being loved, let alone admit it easily.
Indeed, He was the one that must give his thank to her.
"So–this's mean – we're not friend anymore, right?" Mikoto tilted her head when she saw his smiled and asked simply.
Anki leaned in and whispered beside her ear seductively. "Well, what do you want 'us' to be?"
Mikoto's face was now red like she was really overheating. She turned to look at her lap in embarrassment, refusing to answer. Anki looked at her and giggled as he followed her head down, intending to kiss her.
That was when the voice of Saika came back. Though it was fade than before but it came back, hypnotizing him to let it slash her so they all could be together for eternity, demanding to take over.
Anki halted for a moment. He closed his eyes and gave his answer clearly to Saika.
–Sorry – She's mine, Saika –
This time, Saika's voice was completely faded. Leaving only his own voice range loudly in every inch of his being as he leaned in, touching Mikoto's soft lips gently with his. When He felt that she did not try to resist he began to press heavier and deeper while his hand was working its way down and silently slid under Mikoto's shirt.
.
– And that was everything that happened on a night of the heavy rains.–
.