It's necessity.

At first all there was nothing. Nothing was right. Nothing was wrong. I was like a child in her first few seconds of life. Understanding nothing and seeing no danger. Colours were bright and I felt only love.

There was nothing wrong with this existence.

But then the colours became too bright; they circled my body and smothered my skin.

I could hear voices whispered in my ears; laughing at me – plotting against me.

I couldn't even trust the fingers that scratched off the bright lights. They too could be my undoing.

Any hands that touched me could not be trusted.

I could feel the frantic panic build up in my chest, causing my breaths to become quick and overpowering.

Even my own body could not be trusted; it too was trying to kill me.

Then there was blood, blood all over my hands. My own blood. And the walls were closing in. Coming to crush me. Screams echoed through my mind and I didn't realise when my own because a string in the choir.

I could feel hands grab me, the devils hands I was sure, ready to pull me into Hell. So I fought, scratching and kicking and defence my body was still capable of. But the devil was winning against me; he held my face in his hands and pushed something cold to my lips.

Poison I heard myself murmur as my body relaxed. A cool liquid ran down my throat and the only scream left in my head was my own. It was so loud but I couldn't bring myself to stop.

Around me everything was still closing in, the devil had stopped the screams only so I could hear myself die. As he readied to push yet more poison into my system I thrashed again, but his hands here still too strong, and others soon joined him.

There were hands all over my body, restraining me, and finally the devil pushed his poison into my mouth. I spat it out by he forced another one in, smothering me with his hand so the action could not be performed again. I had no other option- I swallowed.

Praying I would at least not be alone in the afterlife. The darkness encircled my vision and sweet death took hold of my body.

When I awoke there was still blood on my hands, the light stung my eyes but it was not bright.

Death should be more comfortable I murmured.

Laugher greeted me.

Not quite yet. The tired voice of my boyfriend whispered.

I turned my head to stare up at Baralai. I'll remember to take my pills next time.

No you won't. He laughed.

But I had no strength in me to fight.

--

AN// This is sort of my Final Fantasy OC I guess. She's half Cetra so can hear voices like Aerith (her sister) could, but because of a bond formed with a dead ancestor and other reasons, the voices are too much for the character to bear. Because of this she has to take pills and a potion daily to stop the voices and stop the insanity it brings. I just wanted to write down the emotions and fear etc. that is brought on by not taking the pills and to highest point the character has gotton. If you really want, think of the character as another FF girl xD