Disclaimer:

I do not own Katekyo Hitman Reborn nor do I gain any money by doing this. KHR and its characters belong to Amano Akira. Please do not sue me because I'm just a rabid fanboy who is currently unemployed and just suddenly got addicted with KHR fandom and the smexy yaoi of the characters.

Beta'ed by RondineeLion

Warning:

It's angst 8027 pairing (Yamamoto x Tsuna). Also contains Depressive!Tsuna and attempt of suicide. If this subject turns you off, you better press the Back button. Alright, you have been warned! I don't want any complaints, reports or flames about this story since I don't think I do you any harms by uploading this story to the net.

All the Things That We Could Do, If Only… ─ Chapter 1

"I Wish That I Was Strong"

Wrapped in his loneliness, the only thing he could hear was the sound of water dripping timelessly. His surrounding was slightly dark, only supported by a faint light emanating from his room. His body was dead weary, tired of all the things that happened around him. It's all just too much for him. It was choking him in this wicked circle that he couldn't let go. He wanted too. He would, if he could. But he couldn't. He was helpless.

'I guess this is it then…' Tsuna whispered silently, looking at the light coming from his room that just seemed so far away to reach.

There he was, lying soullessly on his bathroom floor. His eyes were dead, seeming like he had reached his road's end. All his hopes had turned into dust. As he foresaw his future, he could only see an empty road. Emptiness. Darkness. Loneliness. Nothing worth fighting for. Nothing worth struggling for. It was all that's left for him to be.

It was all that he could have. Even after what he had been through, even after what he had done. All that's left for him was nothing more than a wicked darkness, embracing him into a tight hug, pushing him down, so that he wouldn't be able to get up on his feet anymore.

'It's better like this anyway…' Tsuna stared blankly, feeling broken, unable to get up anymore.

Inside the grasp of his shivering hand, there was a sharp blade, hungry and waiting for his blood to be shed. He knew that this was something that he never thought of doing. He knew that this was wrong. He knew that there was nothing good coming out of it. But how come? Why is it that something so incredibly wrong could seem so right? Why is it that something so terrible seemed to be the only way? Was this tight grasp of loneliness the only bright light that could save him from this emptiness?

'Soon it will be over… The pain will soon go away…' he whispered silently, tears dripping down from his beat-up eyes.

At least that's what he thought. That's the only thing that he could think of right now. Something that he kept chanting in his mind, like a spell, as he stroke down the blade onto his thin wrist, producing a soft cut on his small wrist. As quickly as it formed, thick red blood gushed out from the cut and seeped out of the opening and down to the floor, where his hand was lying.

'No one would miss me anyway… It will be just like any usual day …' he sobbed, his breathing was heavy and irregular.

He shifted his eyes from his wrist, down to the floor where his very own blood trailed down. Then, he smiled a little: a sweet, sad and poignant smile that made his tears falling down to the side of his cheeks.

'Ahh… this is wrong…' Tsuna thought to himself, looking at the blood that flowed from him, hoping that his pain and sadness would go away.

'This was supposed to be hurt, right? It was supposed to be excruciating…' he wondered to himself, thinking about his pained wrist.

'But how come it didn't hurt at all? How come? How come it's hurting more inside…?' he grasped his chest with his other hand, trying to soothe the uprising pain inside of him. His breathing became relentless. Was God really not existent? Why did he have to suffer from all of this?

He just didn't get it. He couldn't. He could only wonder why the pain in his heart was more hurting than his actual wound. Could it be that he had been broken too much? Way beyond repair? That he couldn't even cope anymore? It was as if he had been brought down to his knees, pushed down and got stomped on. It was too much for him. The pain. It was as if he was stabbed by numerous rusty knives, spinning and churning inside of him, making him breathless and rendering him speechless.

God knows how many times he tried to tell what he felt. But no one listened. Maybe no one cared. Nobody knows how much burden he had to carry with that small body of his. He just couldn't take it anymore. It broke him. It tore him to pieces. And now he's all alone, lying with his misery.

Oh, how he wished he could cope. How he wished he was strong enough to fight this. How he wished that he was wrong. That everything would be better eventually. But he just couldn't. No, he couldn't.

'Let it end quickly… Please… Let it end…' he closed his eyes, not wanting to see anymore.

His consciousness started to drift. His body started to feel weird and empty. He wasn't trembling anymore. He wasn't shivering. He was just lying there now, waiting while wondering when it would end. He could only wish that it would end soon.

Deep down, he knew that this was wrong. He knew that this was selfish. But what he could do? After so much pain that he had to endure inside his bruised heart? What else he could do?

Nothing. There's nothing more that he could do.

This was not a matter of being selfish…

This was not a matter of giving up…

All that he ever wanted was…

He just wants to sleep…

It was raining outside. The rain embracing the entire town with its dark clouds, where Yamamoto Takeshi was standing, holding his phone to his ear while holding a blue umbrella in his left hand. It seemed like he was talking to someone. Or at least, he was.

That was until the other person had hung up.

Without even thinking for a second, Yamamoto dropped his phone and umbrella onto the floor, making a nice squashing sound as it hit the ground. He suddenly picked up his speed and headed towards Tsuna's house. He knew that he really shouldn't overreact like this. But after hearing those words from Tsuna himself, he felt like something bad was bound to come.

Yamamoto could feel his hands were shakily moving and trembling in rather repetitive ways. He felt like he was shivering but he didn't know why. It was as If something very bad was supposed to happen. His chest was also clamping tightly but he didn't know what to do. It was as if something terribly wrong would come and hit him right on his nose.

He knew that he needed to calm himself. But, every time he adjusted his breath and tried to use his logic clearly, he really just couldn't do so. His mind was crowded and fuzzy from the fear of losing his best friend.

He knew that it was unreasonable for him to feel like this. But, he just couldn't help but to think of it. He contracted all of his muscles to sprint and increase his pace. He quickly ran towards the street, heading to the Sawada's residence, while he was secretly wishing for his Decimo's safety and for him to be unharmed. He ran and paced his speed for about two or three blocks, then he turned to the left at the intersection and increased his pace even further, knowing that he was almost arriving at Vongola Decimo's house.

All that he knew and wanted was just to look at his Tsuna and wish that the boy was safe and sound.

'Tsuna... Please, be safe!' hoped the Rain Guardian in his mind as he paced his lightning speed even more, heading to the Decimo's house.

—To Be Continued—

Author's Note:

I don't even know what I'm doing. I hate angst. But here I am writing one. And the plot is very typical, too. Pfft, I guess it's just been one hell of a week for me. And school is almost starting too. Busy days will come back again. Sigh. Damn it. Well, I hope you like it. I also would like to dedicate this fic to ilYamaTsuna7227li. Because, reasons. I hope you like it!

Oh, and thanks to my friend RondineeLion, a fellow 8027 fanboy, for beta-ing this for me! Really appreciate it! He did amazing work! Mwahaha!

Sincerely,

8027forever