Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy anything. I don't own Tubthumpi' or ChumbaWumba either. Though, I do have that CD. Oy, I need a sleeping pill.

Elena: Hey guys, just wanted to let you know that I'm taking this weekend off. Me and Tseng's got some...paperwork to do.

Rude: ...

Reno (yelling): SHE'S GOING TO HAVE SEX. LOTS AND LOTS OF SEX.

Elena (sighing): Which is more than I can say for you, Turk boy.

Reno: What? No sex for me this weekend?

Elena: Not unless you invite over Rosie Palm and her five sisters.

Reno: Dude! You mean you know a girl and her five sisters that'll all do one guy at a time?! What's her number?!

Elena (shaking her head): Reno...

Reno: Dude, give it up! I'm calling this chick! Are they hot?

Rude: Dumbass.

Reno: WHAT?!

Elena/Rude: It's your hand!!!

Reno: What is?

Elena: Oh boy.

Rude: And this, children, is why you should not mix crack with meth with tequilla with beer with elephant tranquillizers...

Reno: Man, that's some crazy shit!

Rude: ...with whiskey with vodka with cocaine with marijuana with acid with absinthe with peyote.

Elena: I like peyote.

Rude: Just don't mix it with all that other shit lest we have another catotonic idiot on our hands.

Reno: Uh...(scratching head)...huh?

Me: Right. Idiot. Good night, Reno!

Reno: Wait! What's Rosie Palm's number? What are her five sister's names? Never mind...shouldn't need to know them, right?

Rude: Oh boy. Elena, want to get drunk and leave this bastard alone with Rosie Palm and her five sisters?

Elena (scribbling a number on a napkin): Love to. Here Reno. Call this number and all your questions will be answered.

Reno (flipping out cell phone and dialing as Elena and Rude leave): Sweet!

Voice on the Other Line: Welcome to Puns R Us. Do not be alarmed. You have fallen victim to a prank. If you are trying to find guillible written on the ceiling, press 1 now. If you are contemplating purchasing ocean front property in Kentucky, press two. If you are trying to call Rosie Palm and her five sisters, press three. (Reno pushes three). Thank you. Please hold while we redirect your call.

(Reno holds as the hold music comes on, featuring Tub Thumpin' by Chumbawumba)

Voice on the Other Line: Thank you for holding. Your call is very important to us. Please stay on the line and someone will be with you mometarily.

(hold music)

Reno (singing along with hold music): Pissing the night away. Pissing the night away. I drink a whiskey drink! I drink a vodka drink! I drink a...

Voice on the Other Line: Hello, this is Chaquita. May I get your name and reason for your call please.

Reno: Reno, and I wanna get hooked up with Rosie Palm and her five sisters. Are you one of them?

Chaquita: Thank you, Reno. No, I apologize, but I'm not. You see, Rosie Palm and her five sisters is a name given to your right hand and fingers, the hand typically used for mastabatory acts. When someone tells you to go out with, hook up with or otherwise "do" Rosie Palm and her five sisters, they are, essentially telling you to go "whack yourself off". Understand?

Reno: So...there's no chick named Rosie Palm?

Chaquita: No sir.

Reno: And no five sisters?

Chaquita: No sir.

Reno: It's my hand?

Chaquita: Yes sir.

Reno: Is this call being recorded?

Chaquita: Yes sir.

Reno: GODDAMMIT!!!

(Reno slams phone shut and proceeds to hurl it to the ground and stomp it to bitty bitty bits)

Reno: I'm so pissed! And what do I do when I get this pissed? (Looks at his right hand and grins) Hiya Rosie. Let's me, you and the girls get reacquainted.

A/N: Insomnia is getting the better of me. When my ability to sleep is hindered, THIS (points to fic), is what happens. (bowing humbly) Sorry. So sorry.