Title: Pose
Characters: Strawhats, up to and including Franky
Rating: PG13/14A sort of thing. Suggestiveness, non-explicit
Comments: Are very welcome! ...I know, I know, that was lame. Wrote this because I don't envision scenes, I just hear voices (cue spooky music). Laughs It sort of works along with Yoga and Meat Market, if only in that they're written in a similar style. Italics are for original characters.

"Welcome, welcome! You found the place okay? I'm so glad, so glad… you really have no idea how happy I am to be working with you. Mugiwara no Luffy…"
"I'm going to be the pirate king one day."
"I'm sure you are, I'm sure you are. But right now, that's what we're concerned with today, no? And your past… the public is very interested in your past. I'm so excited for this!"
"Why are we here?"
"Shut up, shithead. No one wants to listen to you."
"Yes, yes, so happy… if you'll follow my assistants, they'll take you to your dressing rooms, and then we can get started. Oh, I've dreamed of this day for so long…"

"Mr Franky - I can call you that, can't I? - Mr Franky, forgive me when I say you are superb. A god made flesh, a joy to have in my humble studio. Tell me, have you done this before?"
"Well, I might'a done…"
"Of course! I knew it immediately. Here, I said to myself, is a professional! So perfect! The bright, flamboyant shirt, framing those sculpted muscles - I could not have created a more perfect display! The hair and tattoos… casual, relaxed - dare I say? - badass!"
"Heh. Of course."
"Those long, lean legs, the narrow hips… Akiko, do you see this? Never in my life have I had a more perfect model! I can die a happy man, now. To have been the one blessed with the chance to capture such perfection… Mr Franky, if you would turn just a little to your left, raise your chin a bit… yes, yes. Akiko, quickly! While the sunlight is on him! Such beauty, such majesty!"
"I'm pretty good, ain't I? How about this?"
"A guitar? Mr Franky, you are a god among men! The soft soulfulness of an acoustic guitar against your rugged and untamed beauty, yes, it is an image to bring a statue to it's knees."
"I thought it was pretty good, too."
"And where is the lovely Ms Nico? Ms Nico, please, this way. Sakura, you did a lovely job with her costume. A perfect compliment! I would never have thought of giving her a yukata. Sakura, my dear, you have surpassed my every expectation!"
"Thank you, sir."
"And is that… oh, you brilliant girl! The black leather underneath…"
"Where would you like me to stand, Photographer-san?"
"Where indeed? Where in this wide world is a place for such a vision of loveliness? If you could sit at Mr Franky's feet, my darling, yes, and look up at him… we'll do your individual shots later, we want to establish your character right now… like a gangster and his lady love: tough, dangerous, but underneath it all a soul-rending romance… quickly, Akiko, quickly, I fear I shall cry soon!"
"Ya do look alright, there, Robin."
"Lear at me again and I'll rip them off, this time."
"Yes, yes, that's what I want! Sweet companionship, with whispers of violence and brutality for that dangerous edge! The gods are smiling on me today, oh, they are!"

"Look. It's not difficult. I don't wear leather. What part of that don't you get?"
"But Roronoa-san…"
"No leather."
"Then you're going in front of the camera naked."
"Crazy witch!"
"Roronoa-san, please…"
"You bastard, how dare you speak that way to Nami-san?"
"I'll speak to her however I want, damn love cook!"

"No, no, no! Absolutely not! A reindeer wearing leather? Impossible! The height of cruelty! There cannot be even a scrap of leather in Mr Chopper's shots. A tiger-skin run? Out! Out! Never set foot in my studio again! Oh, Mr Chopper, I am so sorry. I really can't tell you…"
"It's okay…"
"No, no, Mr Chopper, I really must beg your forgiveness…"
"It's fine."
"When I think of what we almost did to you… can you ever… no, such an affront can never be forgiven…"
"He accepted the apology, idiot. Get going."
"Usopp…"
"Yes! Yes! Perfect! The purity, the innocence… get him a white drape, Sakura… yes, now smile at Mr Usopp the same way you just did… the sparkles! They're magnificent!"
"Of course, I've done this sort of thing before. I remember the time when…"
"No talking, please, Mr Usopp. Hold that pose. Yes, dramatic, strong, heroic even…"
"I am, aren't I?"
"Yet vulnerable. Kind-hearted. Yes, put your arms around Mr Chopper. He's your friend, your faithful companion… now you'll have to leave him…"
"Usopp… don't leave me…"
"Chopper, I… I…"
"Now, Akiko, now! What passion! What feeling! Magnificent!"
"Usopp!"
"Chopper!"
"Usopp! Don't strangle Chopper! He's our emergency food source, we need to keep him alive!"
"Mr Sanji, kindly get back to your set. I'll be there to deal with you in a moment."
"The idiot marimo's over there."
"And over here, Mr Sanji, you are disrupting my photo shoot. Back to your place, Mr Sanji!"
"I'm not food, Sanji!"
"That's good anger. It's good. Use it."
"Calm down, Chopper, he didn't mean it."
"The turn! Do you see it, Akiko? The strength of the innocent Mr Chopper, the uncertainty of the great Mr Usopp… Captain Usopp, my profound apologies, sir, I forgot…"

"We done yet?"
"Shut up and hold still, Luffy."
"But I'm bored."
"This is all your fault. Suck in your stomach… honestly, just because you can fit into anything…"
"I'm sorry, Nami."
"You should be."

"Now I'm ready for you, Mr Sanji. You see? As long as you're patient, things will get done faster."
"Get it over with, bastard, or I'll kick your teeth through the back of your skull."
"What's your problem, dartboard brow?"
"Shut up, bastard. At least I can sit down."
"And what's that supposed to mean?"
"Mr Roronoa, if you will please lean against the pillar… Mr Roronoa! We need Mr Sanji to be intact for these first few shots! Kindly put those swords away! Now, Mr Sanji, stand in front of Mr Roronoa, yes, like that, only without that angry scowl… you are not meant to appear dangerous to Mr Roronoa!"
"Try and kick me, dartboard brow. Just try it."
"Watch me!"
"Mr Sanji! You'll rip your trousers!"
"Then why are we wearing leather ones, you perverted bastard?"
"You're one to talk."
"What was that, shithead?"
"I have already told you, Mr Sanji, that I will not allow rebellion on my set. Yes, Mr Roronoa, now is the time for swords. Not too much blood, if you please. Yes, just slice his shirt open a bit. Perfect! Mr Sanji! Who told you to hit back?"
"Stupid bastard, I'm not going to just stand here…"
"Yes you are! Mr Roronoa's scars are enough… he does not need bruises as well! I explained this to you already. This is why you are wearing a shirt, and he is not! He must appear stronger than you!"
"But…"
"You will do as I tell you, Mr Sanji! I am in charge here! That's right, Mr Roronoa, pull him closer, keep him there with the swords… Finally, Mr Sanji, a good expression from you. But less angry… this is not entirely against your will, remember…"
"Like hell it's not!"
"Face in his neck, if you please, Mr Roronoa, head back, Mr… oh, there already, I see. Excellent. Very realistic. Akiko… Akiko! Don't just stand there drooling, take the damn pictures! Honestly, woman. We have work to do!"
"I believe it's my turn, now?"
"Ms Nami! Certainly! Mr Roronoa, Mr Sanji, that's enough… Mr Roronoa? Mr Sanji?"
"I'll just join in, shall I?"
"Ms Nami? But your dress! Your elegant, beautiful dress! Against the violent backdrop of… no, no! It's perfect! Yes… With Mr Sanji? I had thought… Mr Roronoa…"
"Sanji-kun?"
"Hai, Nami-san! Let go, bastard!"
"Hold on to him, Zoro."
"Crazy witch."
"Ms Nami?"
"Sir, what should we do?"
"What…? Take pictures, woman! Ms Nami… so magnificent! Perfect… the delicate Mr Sanji, held back by Mr Roronoa's swords as he tries to reach that vision of beauty… oh, Ms Nami!"
"Let go a bit, Zoro, that's right."
"You'll get blood on your dress, standing there."
"He's right, Nami-san, you'll have to move away from that oaf!"
"You're the one who's bleeding, crap cook."
"Don't tease, Zoro. Come here, Sanji… but if you get blood on this, you'll pay for it!"
"Ms Nami, you are magnificent! Such artistry! The pale, delicate pearl of womanhood, held between savageness of masculinity… like a flower on a battlefield… how wrong I was, to think such elegance would be out of place! It belongs anywhere… everywhere! My life… Ms Nami, my life is bereft without you! Ms Nami, would you..."
"Back off, bastard."
"Don't even think about it, shithead."

"You're done your turn too?"
"Yes. It's more interesting to watch the others, don't you think?"
"Crazy kids. Gotta love them, though."
"Hmm. Shall we got see how Captain-san is doing?"
"As long as that photographer isn't here. He was mentally undressing me."
"He had a head start, since you aren't wearing any pants."
"Hey, wha…? Not funny. Why the hell are we here, anyway?"
"Because they promised Navigator-san a lot of money, and Captain-san two hundred pounds of meat."
"Damn kids."
"Indeed."