A/N - The first long(ish) fanfic i have written. It took a while, but I am pleased with what has come out of it :) Please review and let me know what you think :) xEmmyx
Disclaimer - They are J.K Rowlings toys, I am merely giggling childishly in her playpen :)
If tomorrow never comes – A Harry Potter Fan Fiction
Harry Potter was restless. Well, he was more than that, he was angry, regretful, scared, nervous, anxious and annoyed, but most of all he was restless. It had been a long year, chasing down each of the seven Horcruxes, and now he only had a few left, one hidden in Hogwarts, Nagini, and himself.
Harry shuddered as he pondered the final Horcrux. He would have to die. It was a fact. He would have to die so the wizarding world would survive. What a burden to have on your shoulders.
His mind started wandering to all those he would leave behind. Ron, Hermione, The Weasleys. Ginny.
Ginny.
Sighing, Harry dragged himself out of his make shift bed and silently stepped out of the tent. With a glance back at his sleeping companions, Harry apparated away, leaving the countryside behind him, to be met by the tall dominating gates of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
"Harry Potter!" Professor McGonagall called from high above him in surprise. "What in Godrics name are you doing here?"
"Professor, What are you doing here? I thought you were too involved with the order still be at the school?"
"Protecting the School is order business Mr Potter.
"Well then, please it is of utmost importance that I enter the castle." The tone of Harry's voice shocked the professor, as it was pleading and desperate.
"Of course Potter, but first you must answer a security question."
"Obviously, but please, hurry."
McGonagall pondered for a moment, picking a moment in time that would not only ensure this was in fact her student in front of her, but also made her smile each time she remembered it.
"What happened at the start of your first ever transfiguration lesson?"
Despite his desperation, Harry smiled slightly before answering, remembering his ignorance in his youth.
"Ron and myself were late. We ran in, thanking Merlin that you hadn't started teaching yet, and tried to sit down. You appeared out of your animagus form, which Ron thought was bloody brilliant, and offered to transfigure us into a stopwatch and a map."
With a distinct creak the gates began to open, allowing Harry to slip through. McGonagall descended the staircase from the tower by the gates and embraced Harry with a warmth that shocked him from his old professor.
"I am so glad you are well Potter. But what is it you need from Hogwarts at such an hour?"
"There is an object that I must search for within the castle."
"Well then I shall help, after all two sets of eyes are better than one."
Great, thought Harry, just what I need. Frowning slightly he shook his head.
"I would be honoured Professor, but this requires great amounts of secrecy. I have brought my invisibility cloak so no one will see me. Regretfully, this is one task I must complete alone." That's it potter, diplomacy. Hopefully now she won't follow you, and you can see Ginny.
"Of course Potter. If you need me at all know that I am only a patronus away, wherever you are. Good Luck."
With a slight incline of his head Harry pulled his cloak over himself and disappeared up the pathway towards the castle, his home.
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Ginny Weasley was scared. Her screams rippled round the castle as Alecto Carrow let loose the cruciatus curse again and again upon her. It was not often you would hear her screams, but this time, something about the torture was far worse than ever before.
"Where is he ginger nut? Your little Potter! After all, you love him, don't you ginger nut? Do you wanna marry him, and have his babies?" The same taunting that had been going on for hours on end along with the use of the unforgivable torture curse. Ever since they had found that bloody picture.
It'll be ok Weasley. Just hang in there. Don't tell him anything. Ha, that wont be hard. I don't know anything! The same mental rant she had been firing at herself for the last 3 hours.
Collecting herself slightly Ginny once more pulled herself up the wall and stared the Carrows in the face, silent again.
"Shame we cant get a pretty little thing like you to talk, isn't it ginger nut. You see, we don't want to make you lose your mind. But we will. All in a days work!" Amycus Carrow giggled evilly, before leaning down and whispering darkly in Ginny's ear.
"Besides, its not like you even have a future with Potter. Maybe being insane will be a sweet release when the Dark Lord destroys him."
Ginny cringed away, unable to stand the foul stench of Carrows words, and of his breath. Harry would survive. He had to.
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Harry wandered the halls of Hogwarts desperately trying to decide how to approach Ginny. He couldn't just walk up to her; she would curse him to the burrow and back. Maybe I will just see her. Make sure she is ok. I won't bother her. I just need to check.
However, his decision was made for him as he rounded the next corner. There just in front of him, leaning heavily against the wall, was his Ginny. Harry's heart raced at seeing her beautiful fiery hair. His gaze slowly drifted across her slumped form, and his heart stopped.
She was battered and bruised, the small parts of her skin exposed by her uniform covered in cuts both healed and freshly bleeding.
"Gin…" It was hardly a breath, but she looked up and met his gaze. Her beautiful brown eyes filled with tears, and with a heartbreaking sob she fell completely to the ground.
Harry rushed forward, supporting her head so she didn't bash it against the cold stone of the hallway wall. Cradling her against him he cursed himself for ever leaving her. She had never done anything to deserve this.
Suddenly Ginny pulled away, scurrying to her feet and stumbling down the corridor, her wide eyes never leaving Harry's.
"Your…your not really here. I'm imagining it, you're not Harry. You can't be." Her stammering voice became stronger as she collected herself. "If you are a Slytherin…" the tremor had left her tone and she began to sound like herself again. "If you are a Slytherin I will personally kill you. How dare you?"
"Gin…. Ginny it's me." Harry reached out to her, scrambling to his feet after her. "I promise, love. Its me."
Her eyes narrowed, and Harry realised what he had just called her. Love. Sure, it was true but he wasn't sure he had wanted her to know that yet. Not when everything was stills so up in the air.
Ginny continued to stare at him, examining every inch of his face and body, searching for anything out of place. Apart from a few new scars, visible due to the rolled up sleeves of his torn shirt, he looked like her Harry. Taking a deep breath in she smelled the woody tint of his natural cologne on the air, only slightly masked by the smell of months spent in the outdoors.
"Harry?"
"Yes. Its me."
"But…I... How?"
"I just needed to see you."
"But… Wait. When I was 11, how did I embarrass myself in front of you at the Burrow?"
Harry's smile widened as he remembered the incident in question.
"Well, I would hardly call it an embarrassment." He took a step closer, only for her to edge further away again, still nervous. "You put your elbow in the butter dish, and then pulled an incredibly cute embarrassed face and fled, which by the way…"
Harry never had the chance to finish what he was about to say, as Ginny flew at him, launching herself into his arms, her sobbing renewed. Together they sank to the ground, both overwhelmed by their emotional reunion.
"Its ok." Harry cooed quietly. "I'm here now. I wont let them hurt you again."
They sat in silence together as they both cried, happy to be back together again. Eventually Ginny controlled her breathing enough to sustain conversation, and pulled away slightly.
"What are you doing here Harry? It's so dangerous! If anyone saw you…" her voice began to break again thinking about the possibilities.
"I know, but I had to see you. I have spent the last 4 months sat watching Ron and Hermione grow closer, all the while having no choice but to be away from you. I have missed you every moment." He took a deep breath. "I wasn't going to talk to you, just … see you. I was hoping to find you sleeping somewhere, so I could check that you really were alright, but it turns out… it turns out your not alright. You are anything but alright. You're… you're a mess Gin. What happened?"
"It's nothing Harry."
"Ginny. You look terrible. I wont let this keep happening."
"Didn't think of that when you just left now did you? Didn't think of those who you were leaving behind did you? No, just leave them to it, they will be fine, after Hogwarts is as safe as you can get! Right? Well ill have to give you a news flash Harry, Dumbledore isn't here to protect us anymore."
"I … I never meant for this to happen Gin. But I have to be out there. I have to defeat him."
"Do you even know what its like here Harry? To have the fact that I love the great Harry Potter hung over my head every move I make. To have death eaters torture me because you might have made contact. Because, heaven forbid, you might long for me as I long for you."
Sobbing, Ginny returned into the arms of her Harry, her love. She didn't really hate him. She couldn't, she didn't even think it was possible.
"Its ok baby. I'll get you out of here. I'm here now."
They sat there for hours, Ginny clinging as tightly as she could to Harry, he whispering words of apology and comfort. Harry closed his eyes, willing himself to succumb to the pure bliss of sleeping with Ginny enclosed in his arms.
Eventually, the sun started to rise in the window across the corridor. Time to leave thought Harry wistfully. Peering down at Ginny he made a decision, one of many slightly rash decisions he had made that night. If he was leaving Hogwarts, Ginny also had to. He would make sure she was safe again.
"Gin," he whispered, hoping to gently wake her from her slumber. After a few more tries she began to stir, snuggling closer to his chest and mumbling slightly.
Harry laughed to himself.
"Really Weasley, give this reception to everyone you wake up with?"
Her beautiful brown eyes snapped open, quickly locking her gaze onto his and breaking into a stunning smile.
"You're really here. I wasn't dreaming."
"Yes love, I'm here. But…"
"But now you have to leave." Her eyes left his, and gazed down at the stone cold ground. Harry quickly reached for her chin and lifted her eyes back his.
"I'm getting you out of here. No way are you staying here, not when they hurt you so."
"You mean… You mean I can come with you? I can finally be by your side?"
Her eyes lit up in excitement as she considered it. Spending all her time with her Harry, never having to wonder again where he was, if he was safe, if he was even alive. Plus, she would get to see her brother and best friend, both of whom she had missed dearly. However, she watched Harry's face and realised this wasn't what he had planned.
"No Gin. I'm sorry. It's too dangerous. You… I… I would never be able to live with myself if something happened to you. I would rather die than let them hurt you again. No. I have to leave you behind." Ginny realised with a start that he meant his heartfelt apologies. His face was torn as he talked about leaving her again, and his grip had tightened around her waist. "I'll take you to the Burrow. Then you will be safe, with your family. If I can trust anyone to look after you, its them."
Ginny's heart melted as she listened to his plans. He really cared. I mean, I knew he cared, but… he's hurting so much. He wants me to be with him so much.
Pulling herself to her feet, she rearranged her features skilfully into a mask. Hide her true feelings from him. Make it easier on them both to leave each other again. After all, she would have time once he had gone to cry over him. He had fallen in love with the strong, independent witch she had been, and so far in their secluded meeting she had been anything but strong and independent. Godric forbid, she thought scornfully, if I'm not careful I'll turn into a human hosepipe.
Holding out her hand, Ginny Weasley pulled Harry Potter to his feet. Silently they snuck through the halls of Hogwarts via the many passages only Harry knew due to the Marauders Map. Hand in hand they reached the gate, where McGonagall stood waiting. With a brief explanation they passed out of the castle and apparated away to the back door of the Burrow.
"Who's there?" came the anguished cry of Molly Weasley.
Ginny was about to call out to her mother when Harry covered her lips with his hand.
"She can't see me here." He whispered desperately, "It would lead to questions, and I need to hurry back to Ron and Hermione. I love you."
Before Ginny could fully register his profession of love, Harry replaced his hand with his lips. The kiss was deep and passionate, their tongues battling for dominance as their love flowed between them. Ginny could feel herself melting as his hands ran through her hair. Sighing into his lips she pressed herself closer to him, running her hands up and down his muscular shoulders. She would give anything just to be able to continue on like this forever.
Alas, it was not to be. As quickly as the kiss had started Harry ended it, pulling away and walking backwards away from her. Slightly stunned, Ginny just watched as he pulled away. Their joined hands stretched out between them until he reached his final step. Their contact broke, and a single tear fell from Ginny's eye.
With a small smile, Harry turned on the spot, disappearing from her view.
A door slammed behind Ginny, but she refused to pull her gaze away from where her love had been seconds before.
"Ginny? Good Godric Ginny what are you doing here? How on earth?" Her mothers fussing seemed so distant, so obscure. Her Harry. He was gone. Again.
"Ginny, what's that in your hand?"
Startled, Ginny looked down to where her mother was pointing. Sure enough, there in the hand that Harry had been holding only seconds ago was a piece of battered paper with her name scrawled upon it in Harry's messy handwriting.
My Dearest Ginny,
I'm sorry to have to leave you with nothing but a letter, but it was the only way I could bear to be in contact with you. Last night I was sat in the tent thinking of you, and made a rather rash decision. I needed to see you, to check you were really ok, and to make sure you knew exactly how I feel for you, incase tomorrow never comes.
I do not know if I have spoken to you or not tonight, as I write this before I have even left the tent. However, whether I have handed you this myself or left it as a letter by your pillow, I want you to know that this letter contains the truth about how I feel.
I love you Ginny Weasley, and it is one of my greatest regrets that I may never be able to say that to your face. If I survive this war, I vow here and now to say it to you a thousand times a day so you may never doubt my feelings for you. The worst day of my life was Dumbledore's funeral, walking away from you. I am sure I felt my heart break into several hundred pieces. I have not known a lot of love in my life, but I knew even then that the way I felt, and feel about you is completely genuine, and will last me a lifetime. You are the most important person in my life Ginny. I love you.
Please also know that I may not make it out of this war alive. If I do not, then I want you to live on and love again. As long as you live, I will be watching you. Please, let it be an entertaining view of love, laughter, adventure and happiness. That is all I could ever wish for you.
That is why I fight this war, so that you may live a long and happy life, with or without me, a place where children can grow up not knowing the meaning of the word fear. Dear Godric, I'm babbling. But that is what I want. A happy, peaceful place for everyone to live.
At the risk of sounding like a complete sap of whom Ron would be ashamed, I must end this letter.
Just know this,
I love you with all my heart, and will continue doing so for the rest of eternity.
Until we meet again,
Your Harry.
"Oh Harry," whispered Ginny. "I love you too. So much. I love you."
That night Ginny Weasley cried herself to sleep. Somewhere, miles away, Harry Potter sat watching the fire. Their two hearts, perfectly in tune with each other, beat as one as they awaited the day when they could truly be together, no longer plagued by the fear that tomorrow may never come.