"Baby, I'm pregnant." Olivia huffs out a sigh of relief after she speak she could finally breathe. She watches his face turn from shock to delight, exactly what she was hoping wouldn't happen, but who was she kidding. Of course he wanted her pregnant with his baby, the man refused to use protection citing he wanted to be closer to her, and she fell for it every bloody time.
"You're what? Babe don't joke with me." Fitz says, his eyes piercing into her soul as he tries to gauge her feelings. She was about as easy to read as a medical textbook, he took it as a challenge at times, but now, all he wanted to know was the truth.
She smiles as she brushes the hair out of his face. He was looming over her, his skin still sweaty from the sex they had just had. "Baby I'm not. I'm late. I've been sick everyday this morning. I think I'm pregnant."
He runs his hand slowly down her breasts to rest on her stomach, both their sets of eyes following. "A baby?" The corners of his mouth turn upwards in the smile, the one he reserves just for her.
"Don't."
"Livvie."
"No Fitz, we can't live in a fantasy world. I'm your mistress, your married, your running for President. Baby. We can't. We're not doing this." And just like that she knocks down the dreams he had in the past 30 seconds, of her stomach growing full with their baby, him rubbing her back after a long day, their child, a little girl with Liv's hair or a boy with his smile.
"Livvie, I love you." And just like that, with a whisper, he wins her back. His head drops to the crook of her neck, breathing in the smell that is so uniquely her.
"Will I make a good mother?" She whispers out her doubts and his heart breaks for her.
"Baby, you look after every single person around you. Making sure Cyrus is eating properly and not fighting with James, making sure that when Karen and Jerry are here that they're having fun." He kisses her nose, bringing a small smile to her face. "Hell you even make sure Mellie is happy. But most of all baby, you look after me like no one else ever has." He finishes his declaration with the shortest sweetest kiss he had ever laid on her.
"I want this baby. I do. I know I'm me, Olivia badass Pope, no feelings, no emotions." She lowers her head. "And I want you. And I want us." She lifts her head, making eye contact with him. "But I want you to be President. I want you to go out there and stick it to your father and prove that you can do this. This isn't the right time for us Fitz. This is your time baby. Not ours." She looks away. "I can't take this away from you." She tells him leaning up and kissing his forehead as she rolls away from underneath him.
They lay in silence. Her back to his chest, their hands laced resting on her stomach. Both imagining a future they can never have. He lifts his head, nestling it in her hair, dropping a kiss to her neck.
"Not right now Liv. But maybe one day."
"Not ever Fitz."
She wakes the next day, her bed empty like every other morning on the trail. She scans the room, just hoping for once that he would still be there. That's when she feels it. The stickiness between her thighs, she lifts the blanket, there's too much blood. So much blood. She reaches for her phone, dialling the number of the man she loves so much.
"Baby, I need you."
And he comes, its 8am and he's about to enter a meeting with Cyrus, but the woman he loves needs him, so he runs to her room. Twenty million thoughts running through his head. He uses the card she gave him and that's when he sees her. Crawled up in the bed, the bed he left her in earlier this morning. And than he sees it. The blood. The white sheets are saturated in it and that's when he knows. It wasn't a scare. That wasn't her period finally coming. That was their baby.
"Livvie. Oh my sweet baby." He whispers as he kneels on the edge of the bed she has cocooned herself in. He lifts his hands, wiping away the tears on her face as he begins to slowly untangle her body from the sheets and lift her from the sheets.
"It hurts." It's the first thing she says, and it breaks his heart.
"Where baby?" He asks as he carries her to the shower, he places her on her feet and begins to twist the knobs that will bring the water that will wash away their baby.
"Everywhere." She finally answers him, so quietly, that he barely hears her. She lifts her eyes, meeting his as he ushers her into the shower. "I need a minute." He knows what she's doing. She needs to decide how she feels, and he needs to get rid of those sheets.
"I'm taking the day off." He says as she leaves the shower, wrapping her up in a towel. "So are you. Mellie isn't here and Cyrus, well, I'll deal with him. I'm not leaving you." He says all in a rushed tone, scared that if he doesn't get it all out, she'll shut him down, sending him back to the campaign HQ.
"Okay." Her response is simple as she lays her head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat. He runs his fingers along her spine as he places soft kisses on her forehead. They stand together, her in a towel, her hair still dripping wet, him in a suit, thinking about the baby they lost, the future they could have had.
"Maybe one day." She says, and he smiles.
"Maybe one day." He repeats as he kisses her.