A/N: That Spam thing on the episode last night was just too good to leave alone.
Disclaimer: Not mine. But you already knew that.
"We've… we've got something to ask you."
"Oh, god. What now?" Cam asked.
Hodgins and Zach stood side by side opposite her. They were eyeing each other nervously. Hodgins raised his gaze to meet hers.
"It's about… an experiment."
Cam mentally smacked her head. Of course. What else could it have been that make Hodgins call her down to the lab, insisting it was urgent?
"If it involves Spam, I swear I'll–"
"It doesn't," Zach quickly offered, finally looking up at her.
Good. Cam was still a little sore from their last experiment, having offered to buy them both a car if they actually learned anything from the Sea Monkeys. She was only joking, but they had taken her seriously, both expectantly waiting their new rides. Tired of them bothering her, Cam gave in. They arrived at work the next day to find a Hotwheels car on each of their desks. Both kept the small toys, and Booth was asking for one of his own. Hey, Cam had gotten them Porches after all.
"Okay, so what does it involve?" Cam questioned, not quite sure she wanted to hear the answer.
They stared at their feet, adding to her worry.
"I haven't got all day."
They scrambled to speak.
"We were just wondering–"
"We wanted to know–"
Each stopped to allow the other to speak. Cam rolled her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest. "What do you want?" Needless to say, she was getting frustrated.
Hodgins and Zach looked at each other, silently deciding who should speak. Cam sighed.
The entomologist turned to her with a hesitant smile on his face. "We – okay, there's this little thing we want to try." He smiled again in hopes of getting Cam on his side.
She didn't say anything.
"It's sorta complicated." He bit his lip.
"Would you just tell me what it is already so I can get back to work?"
"We–"
"We want to throw a pig out the window!" blurted Zach.
"Zach!" Hodgins cried.
"Well we do," he mumbled, staring at the floor again.
"So much for being subtle," Hodgins said under his breath.
"Wait, what? You want to throw a pig out the window?" Cam was still trying to catch up with them. Why they would want to throw a pig out the window was beyond her. Then again, they had sent one through a wood chipper. And fed Spam to Sea Monkeys.
"Well, when you put it like that it doesn't really sound very professional," Hodgins said after staring down Zach.
"How were you planning on putting it?" Cam asked in disbelief.
"Um, 'We want to drop a pig from a higher floor of a building?'" Hodgins tried.
"That's not much better," pointed out Zach. Hodgins glared at him.
"Why, might I ask, would you want to do something like that?" She wasn't planning on letting them actually do it, she just wanted to know what exactly was going on in their heads.
Hodgins nodded to Zach to speak.
"Well, the marks on the body suggest that it was dropped from a great height."
"And?" Cam sensed she knew where this was going.
"We want to know if it really was," Zach said, looking at Hodgins for support.
"We already know that the body was dropped. The blood splatters and postmortem fractures have confirmed that."
Hodgins and Zach glanced at each other, trying to figure out what to say next.
Hodgins spoke, "We want to know from how high the victim was dropped." Cam could tell that he was improvising now. She decided to go along with it.
"And dropping a pig out the window – excuse me, dropping a pig from a higher floor of building – is going to help?" She raised her eyebrows to add to her expression of feigned interest.
Zach and Hodgins nodded eagerly, sensing that she was about to give in.
"No."
"No?" They looked confused.
"No, I'm not letting you drop a pig out the window. Not on my watch." She shook her head, smiling to herself. She left the lab, sure that their looks of surprise would be enough to keep her in a good mood all day.
Once they were sure Cam was out of earshot, a very excited Hodgins turned to a disappointed looking Zach.
"Did you hear that?" Hodgins asked, grinning.
Zach nodded forlornly. "Yeah. No throwing pigs out windows. I really wanted to see what would happen." He hung his head.
"No, she said 'not on my watch.' Not on my watch! Isn't that great?" Hodgins was rubbing his hands together, unable to contain himself.
"I'm afraid I don't follow," Zach said slowly.
"Cam gets off at six. There's a pig in the freezer."
Zach's eye's widened. He smiled up at Hodgins. "You, my bug loving friend, are a genius."
