Disclaimer: I don't own any of Harry Potter including the right to play
with its character sketches.
Title: Dear Diary
Chapter: #1 Dear Diary
Author: Jenn (Aka. DreamBerry, The girl who lived)
Rating: Disturbing, involves abuse of many kinds,
Writing on a computer.
Dear Diary, God I sound like some kind of girl writing this. But I really need to vent, and no one I know will ever come across this. I can be consoled by that fact. And yet I need some advice.
My father would kill me if he found out I was using this muggle contraption or writing this. I can't use a peace of paper some one might find it even if I burned it there are ways of bringing it back.
I'm not here to say I'm not human or to laugh at you non-magic types. I'm here because I need to tell someone something that no one wants to know. No one is aloud to know, they'd be killed along with me.
You see my father beats me, he sexually abuses me, he ties me up and doesn't feed me for days on end, he tortures me emotionally and physically. He killed my mother because she tried to protect me, tried to run away to tell some one. He says he's trying to make me stronger.
I really don't need help I'm not asking for it. I just wanted to tell some one. You see I've cut my self more times than I can count, but only half wanting to die, the pain feels good it reminds me I'm alive, at least some what. And if I died from this? That would be my fate. Obviously someone would have wanted it this way.
And people wonder why I'm so mean to them; they've been sheltered all their life. They don't know what I feel what I've been through they don't deserve to judge me and I don't deserve to have friends like them.
I'm afraid I'll grow up to be exactly like him. Scratch that I know I'll be exactly like him. I can already feel the need for power running through my veins. I want to harm someone the control them like my father controls me and used to control my mother. Not the way I used to hurt my mother, while he laughed, I did that because my father made me. I hated doing it because it showed that he had even more control over me.
I'd like to forget it all but the physical scars are too prominent. My hair for instance, White blond, it wasn't always that way. You know how people say that when you scared your hair turns white? Well I'm living proof my hair used to be a brown. And that is only the least painful. Unlike the gashes across my body, scars from knife wounds, bite marks and spells.
He still abuses me, even more now that mother's gone. Now that she's gone I've become his new sex toy. He abused me before sexually but not as much. Maybe that's why I'm scared of relationships. I feel so dirty after and no amount of showering could ever make it come clean or get that taste from my mouth.
I've been here to long. I'm sure I shouldn't have done this in the fist place. I'd like to thank you you've been the best listener I've ever talked to. Actually the only thing that's ever listened. And now I have to go home before he notices I'm gone. If he finds out I left without telling him I'll probably get beaten senseless. I feel so useless, defenceless, and powerless. It's like anything I do; I do it because he wants me to. I'd like to say I miss something, but I've never known anything to miss. I miss my mother but I would never wish her back to this hell. Wherever she is it couldn't be as bad as here maybe I'll kill myself, No, my father woul. Well I an out of room I better go don't expect to hear from me again.
She quit reading the entry. It was quite disturbing her. Usually she looked for other wizards by using the search to search for words like muggle that occasionally got thrown in. She wasn't expecting this. Her mind had automatically jumped to the conclusion that I'm sure yours has. It must be Draco. She shook her head there where way to many young wizards for her to just dwindle it down to one in a matter of minuets.
She sighed usually reading musings from her fellow wizards online Diaries made her feel better. This just made her feel she had to do something when she knew she couldn't. She felt almost as powerless as this person. On second thought no, she could never compare her life status to this.
Her curiosity had got the best of her and she hacked into the person's diary personal information. There was nothing useful there, they where all alibis. All she found out was that the writer was definitely male, which she already knew from the first line of the diary.
She tried to forget about it two shrug it off but the thing was driving her nuts. She copied the text onto Microsoft word and pressed the print button. It was two full pages long.
She now had a mission she thought as she sat down on her bed. To at least find out who this person was. She read through the entree making notes on her pink smiley-face note pad. This is what she gathered.
- Male
- Father alive
- Mother deceased
- Father abusive
- Has no respect for muggles (maybe)
- Doesn't make friend easily (mean to other kids)
- Suicidal tendencies
- A need for power
- White hair
- Many bodily scars
- Father doesn't let him out
- Harmed physically and emotionally
- Doesn't live in the muggle world (around computers)
Then she made a list of all the young male wizards that she knew. After that was done she stroked off the names that didn't fit the physical characteristic, namely having blond hair, and the few boys that she had seen their chest minus scars. She frowned down at her list it was really incomplete. She knew very little boys outside of her grade and house. Draco's face was stuck in her mind though.
She looked at the clock it was really late especially since her first day of school would be in the morning. She shut the computer down. Stuffed the printout and note pad into her bag and climbed into bed. But it was a while before she could fall asleep, and even when she did she couldn't get the diary entry off her mind and she didn't sleep well.
I changed my mind I will keep this fic going thanks to all your nice reviews! Thanks for your support. I hope to hear from you again. Oh and thanks so much for the sp/grammar specific help I tried to patch it up!
Thanks for taking the time to read it, I hope you liked it please Review.
Title: Dear Diary
Chapter: #1 Dear Diary
Author: Jenn (Aka. DreamBerry, The girl who lived)
Rating: Disturbing, involves abuse of many kinds,
Writing on a computer.
Dear Diary, God I sound like some kind of girl writing this. But I really need to vent, and no one I know will ever come across this. I can be consoled by that fact. And yet I need some advice.
My father would kill me if he found out I was using this muggle contraption or writing this. I can't use a peace of paper some one might find it even if I burned it there are ways of bringing it back.
I'm not here to say I'm not human or to laugh at you non-magic types. I'm here because I need to tell someone something that no one wants to know. No one is aloud to know, they'd be killed along with me.
You see my father beats me, he sexually abuses me, he ties me up and doesn't feed me for days on end, he tortures me emotionally and physically. He killed my mother because she tried to protect me, tried to run away to tell some one. He says he's trying to make me stronger.
I really don't need help I'm not asking for it. I just wanted to tell some one. You see I've cut my self more times than I can count, but only half wanting to die, the pain feels good it reminds me I'm alive, at least some what. And if I died from this? That would be my fate. Obviously someone would have wanted it this way.
And people wonder why I'm so mean to them; they've been sheltered all their life. They don't know what I feel what I've been through they don't deserve to judge me and I don't deserve to have friends like them.
I'm afraid I'll grow up to be exactly like him. Scratch that I know I'll be exactly like him. I can already feel the need for power running through my veins. I want to harm someone the control them like my father controls me and used to control my mother. Not the way I used to hurt my mother, while he laughed, I did that because my father made me. I hated doing it because it showed that he had even more control over me.
I'd like to forget it all but the physical scars are too prominent. My hair for instance, White blond, it wasn't always that way. You know how people say that when you scared your hair turns white? Well I'm living proof my hair used to be a brown. And that is only the least painful. Unlike the gashes across my body, scars from knife wounds, bite marks and spells.
He still abuses me, even more now that mother's gone. Now that she's gone I've become his new sex toy. He abused me before sexually but not as much. Maybe that's why I'm scared of relationships. I feel so dirty after and no amount of showering could ever make it come clean or get that taste from my mouth.
I've been here to long. I'm sure I shouldn't have done this in the fist place. I'd like to thank you you've been the best listener I've ever talked to. Actually the only thing that's ever listened. And now I have to go home before he notices I'm gone. If he finds out I left without telling him I'll probably get beaten senseless. I feel so useless, defenceless, and powerless. It's like anything I do; I do it because he wants me to. I'd like to say I miss something, but I've never known anything to miss. I miss my mother but I would never wish her back to this hell. Wherever she is it couldn't be as bad as here maybe I'll kill myself, No, my father woul. Well I an out of room I better go don't expect to hear from me again.
She quit reading the entry. It was quite disturbing her. Usually she looked for other wizards by using the search to search for words like muggle that occasionally got thrown in. She wasn't expecting this. Her mind had automatically jumped to the conclusion that I'm sure yours has. It must be Draco. She shook her head there where way to many young wizards for her to just dwindle it down to one in a matter of minuets.
She sighed usually reading musings from her fellow wizards online Diaries made her feel better. This just made her feel she had to do something when she knew she couldn't. She felt almost as powerless as this person. On second thought no, she could never compare her life status to this.
Her curiosity had got the best of her and she hacked into the person's diary personal information. There was nothing useful there, they where all alibis. All she found out was that the writer was definitely male, which she already knew from the first line of the diary.
She tried to forget about it two shrug it off but the thing was driving her nuts. She copied the text onto Microsoft word and pressed the print button. It was two full pages long.
She now had a mission she thought as she sat down on her bed. To at least find out who this person was. She read through the entree making notes on her pink smiley-face note pad. This is what she gathered.
- Male
- Father alive
- Mother deceased
- Father abusive
- Has no respect for muggles (maybe)
- Doesn't make friend easily (mean to other kids)
- Suicidal tendencies
- A need for power
- White hair
- Many bodily scars
- Father doesn't let him out
- Harmed physically and emotionally
- Doesn't live in the muggle world (around computers)
Then she made a list of all the young male wizards that she knew. After that was done she stroked off the names that didn't fit the physical characteristic, namely having blond hair, and the few boys that she had seen their chest minus scars. She frowned down at her list it was really incomplete. She knew very little boys outside of her grade and house. Draco's face was stuck in her mind though.
She looked at the clock it was really late especially since her first day of school would be in the morning. She shut the computer down. Stuffed the printout and note pad into her bag and climbed into bed. But it was a while before she could fall asleep, and even when she did she couldn't get the diary entry off her mind and she didn't sleep well.
I changed my mind I will keep this fic going thanks to all your nice reviews! Thanks for your support. I hope to hear from you again. Oh and thanks so much for the sp/grammar specific help I tried to patch it up!
Thanks for taking the time to read it, I hope you liked it please Review.