Authors Note: I really don't know what to say about this one.. it's a marauders fic, well duh. Um.. I honestly don't know how I came up with this, but I'm pretty sure I was on a sugar high as well when I did LOL. Just so you know not all of the craziness of this was me, I had a little help from my friend Z, you may know her as HungerGamesEnthusiast (You should check out here fanfics too ;), she had the idea for the broom bit and the llama. Btw's Remus is VERY OOC in most of this.
Rating: K+ because I'm paranoid. And there is half a swear in it.. but asides from that, its suitable for most ages, right? lol
Disclaimer: If I owned Harry Potter do you think I would be writing fanfictions? If I did own Harry Potter all my ships would be cannon, that would be a strange world..
Summary: James, Sirius, and Peter discover why you never, EVER, give a werewolf too much sugar. Featuring Pepe' the Llama.
Why you never give a werewolf sugar
Today had started off as a pretty normal day for the Marauders. They had woken up at their regular times, gone to their regular classes, and had completely stuck to their regular routine. Everything was completely normal, the only thing out of their normal routine was James' brilliant plan, to go down to the kitchens. You see their daily prank had gone rather well, but due to a few close calls with professors it did take a bit longer then they had estimated, meaning that the Marauders had missed dinner.
At exactly 9:45 PM (15 minutes till curfew I might add) the four teens tiptoed through the empty corridors, past the many suits of armor and finally made it to their destination. Sirius stepped past his friends and closer to the door. The curly haired adolescent turned back to the group holding a finger to his lip, motioning for them to be quiet.
The thick wooden door creaked open and the boys cringed in the fear that they may be caught, but thankfully neither passersby, nor professors seemed to notice the slight disturbance. Once inside the Marauders creeped into the room in search of something to eat.
"We really shouldn't be here, at this hour. We could get caught by patrolling prefects!" stated Remus, smoothing out his robes. He had wicked habit of smoothing his robes down whenever he thought his friends were up to no good, which was quite often so you can imagine just how smooth they would be.
"Moony, you're a prefect, and you aren't going to rat us out right?" said James, Remus shook his head. "Plus even if you weren't here with us I seriously doubt we would get caught by any other patrolling prefects"
"Patrolling prefects... try saying that five times really fast. Patrolling prefects, patrolling prefects, patrolling prefects, partojen prefwects, pratrrra preefeh... Impossible" snickered Padfoot, who then bumped into a nearby table with a *BANG!*. The other three whipped around, and glared at the fellow marauder. "Padfoot!" they whisper-yelled. Sirius gave a sheepish grin before they continued their search for food.
They searched all the cabinets, cupboards and drawers. They looked high and low, searched the entire area, but still there was no food to be found. James and Sirius retreated from their search as did Remus. Peter however did not, he continued to look all through the kitchen, in desperate need to satisfy his hunger (which in all respect wasn't really needed consider how plump the boy was already). Finally emerging from the space underneath the cabinet and pulled out two rather large sacks labeled 'Mrs. Quakes extra sweet sugar; for cooking purposes only'
"I FOUND SOMETHING!" shouted Peter beckoning the other boys over. The others looked at Peter's find confusedly then back at each other. "Wormtail, I'd hate to burst your bubble but those are bags of sugar" James reminded him. Wormtail looked at the others exasperatedly before throwing his arms about in protest and spinning around to survey the room "Do you see any other food here?". "Good point" replied Padfoot ripping open the packet and tipping a handful of the contents into his mouth.
James and Peter followed suit, and took a few handfuls of the sugar, devouring them within two gulps. Remus looked astonished at his friends 'How could they be so reckless? Is it even possible to be this irresponsible..? clearly..' he thought to himself before snatching the bags from them. "Have you people gone mad? The label says for 'Cooking purposes only' which means it is to be used in moderation, and certainly not eaten by itself otherwise that will happen" exclaimed, Lupin gesturing to Wormtail who at that moment was practically bouncing off the walls.
"AWWWWWWWWW! Come on Moony for once in your boring bookwormy life HAVE SOME FUN!" shouted Sirius trying to persuade his friend. "Yeah Moony... you know what you need?" followed James shoving the final bag of sugar in his face.
"What?" questioned Remus looking at the sugar and back to his friends "Oh no no no no no no, I-I can't have that.. sugar and I don't go well together.. you seriously can't expect me to... guys?" he whimpered edging slowly backwards as he spoke. James sighed and brushed a hand through his already mussed hair. "Look Moony.. we're your friends were not going to make you do anything you don't want to... SIRIUS GET HIM!" and with that Padfoot and Prongs had tackled and pinned the boy to the ground and force fed him the last bag of sugar. Lupin squirmed to get away from them but they held him too tightly to escape, and then it happened. After he had swallowed the remnants of the bag, his eyes widened and he stopped moving. For a moment his friends thought he was experiencing some sugar induced parallax, until out of nowhere, he summoned a great amount of strength and pushed his friends off him and jumped up right. "Whoa!" shouted James from his place next to Sirius on the floor.
"Remus…?" Sirius asked cautiously, glancing at his friend.
Remus looked torn between smiling and angry as he turned to his friends with a bizarre grin on his scarred face, "I told you not to do that Siri…" he said in a wickedly sweet voice (A/N: get it.. sweet? LOL). "This doesn't look good…" James whispered worriedly to his friends. Then suddenly Remus leapt out of their sight and bounded down the hall giggling like a maniac as he went.
"Hm.." remarked Peter in a pondering tone. "So that's what happens when you give a werewolf sugar.."
The remaining boys opened the doors and tried to follow their excitable friend as he ran quickly through the many halls and passages of Hogwarts, but he was running to fast. They stopped for a second to catch their breath "Where do.." Sirius panted, much like Padfoot would on the nights of a full moon. "You s'pose he's going, eh?"
"I've no idea.. we could check the map if Filch hadn't confiscated it.." admitted Prongs, he suddenly straightened up and looked a tad more worried than he already was "Merlin's beard!" he exclaimed.
The other boys looked at him confusedly as they continued to sprint after their lycan friend "What is it Prongs?" Peter asked.
Sirius shook his head, his wavy black curls looking swishing around in the breeze as they ran, and laughed. "Merlin, Prongs. You look absolutely petrified. What do you think he's gonna do? Burn down the castle? Enjoy it while he's like this, when are we gonna see a crazy sugar high Moony again?" Sirius asked. They finally started to catch up with him as they rounded the corner only to come face to face which a bunch of multi-colored haired Slytherin prefects (who we're patrolling) who looked very confused and embarrassed (Severus Snape was among the bunch, he now had knee length neon pink hair, whereas most of the others had neon orange, blue, and the super lucky ones, rainbow). "What I was going to say was.." James started trying to restrain his giggles at the sight before him. "He's got his wand"
"Potter, Black, Pettigrew! What are you all doing out after bed? We should report you for this.." screeched an enraged Slytherin girl. "What're you doing out of bed?" Sirius countered with a smirk. The Slytherin's stood their ground against Sirius' superior charm. "We're prefects. It's our Job to make sure insane people like you don't go around doing preposterous things like this!" she pointed at her teal hair.
James excused them "Look we really don't have time for the likes of you so.. bye" he finished quickly and they started up a steady jog again towards Gryffindor tower. "Why are we going in here?" asked Peter as they climbed the stairs to the fifth year boys dorms. "To see if Remmy is in there, ya twat" Said Sirius slapping Peter upside the head and laughed as the plump boy rubbed at the developing bruise on his scalp.
They quietly began to push open the door and took a peek at their now incredibly messy room. There were various chocolate wrappings and broken objects littered all over the floor, the curtains and hangings that surrounded the four beds were almost completely ripped off, one of the dressers was now lying on the floor with clothes scattered around it, and in the center of it all was Remus who was jumping up and down on James' bed, like a four year old. "Holy shi-" Sirius began but Peter cut him off "Is that a Llama?" he asked pointing to the long-necked bah-ing creature in the corner of the room.
Remus giggled flamboyantly and jumped off the bed towards the llama and hugged it around its middle "Not just any llama!" he screamed excitedly "ITS PEPE'! PEPE' THE LLAMA!"
The other boys looked absolutely flabbergasted. "Ok…?" said James uncertainly glancing at the Llama and then to Remus, who had proceeded to climb on to the Llama (who was trying to buck him off), shouting strange very un-Remus like things like "Giddy up Pepe'! Fly! Fly to South America to be with our brethren!" ('I think he thinks he's a Llama…?' the rest of the boys thought)
"Right.." said Sirius "We really need to do something about this"
"Thank you Sherlock!" said James sarcastically towards his fellow Quidditch player.
"Ok if we can get him to stay still, we can keep him from anything stupid before things get out of hand" suggested Peter to his two friends.
"Out of hand? What do you call this?" James said gesturing around to the room which looked like it had been torn apart by a heard of angry dragons.
Sirius sighed in frustration, now he understood how Remus must feel at their post-Quidditch match parties when ¾ of the group would get completely sloshed, and Remus would stay up and sober to make sure they didn't do anything they would regret in the morning.
While he was deep in thought he failed to notice James and Peter struggling to restrain Remus again, until Remus leapt from their arms and grabbed James' best Quidditch broom, which his father had specially crafted for him so it was adjusted to the high speed and agility needs of a chaser. The three boys froze in their spots. "Remus…" James began slowly "Put. The broom. Down"
Remus' face morphed into a wry smirk, like the ones James and Sirius would use when they were planning a prank of some sort. "Nuh-uh-uh Jamsie!"
"Remmy" Sirius tried to persuade him "Put the broom down or the Llama gets it!" Sirius laughed. Remus looked a tad concerned for his Llama brother ("Swim away Pepe'! I mean run! RUN PEPE' RUN!"), until Pepe' kicked Sirius in his family jewels, providing an adequate distraction while he hopped on James broom and flew gracefully out the window.
~8 HOURS LATER~
Exactly eight hours after last night's *ahem* incident, three boys lay draped around their now pig sty of a room, while the other was bound to someone's bed by several charms, and Pepe' the Llama was peacefully dozing in a magically enlarged cupboard at the side of the room.
Remus stirred as he awoke, but found that he couldn't move. He groaned sleepily, for some reason his head felt kind of fuzzy, and he didn't have much energy left 'What happened..?' he thought. He opened his eyes and found his friends lying around him on the floor and something was making a racket on the inside of his wardrobe 'BAH!' he heard. His eyes widened a bit in curiosity and he tried communicating with his friends, while still being bound to the bed. "Boys?" his friends shifted around lazily and Sirius mumbled something in his sleep that sounded like "No pepe! Those are MY boxers!"
"What?" Remus whispered confusedly to himself. "Guys, James.. Peter? Siri? WAKE UP!"
All of the boys jumped at the sudden outburst, James even fell from his spot at the end of the bed and onto the floor with a *THUD* followed by an "Ow!"
"What the bloody hell happened here?" Remus asked, still struggling to get free from his invisible confines.
"Oh your awake…" Peter yawned, scratching his head, then with a flick of his wand Remus was unleashed from the charms that were holding him down.
He looked around the room, it was a complete mess, there was furniture tipped over, one of the windows were now broken, he couldn't even see the floor, and whatever was in the cupboard was making even more noise now than when he woke up. "Shut up Pepe'!" James yelled in a groggy voice, obviously still half a sleep.
Remus was getting even more confused by the second. "Who is Pepe? Why was I tied up? What happened last night?" Remus demanded answers.
Sirius lifted his head up to look at sandy haired boy, and rubbed some sleep out of his eye before saying "Let's just say.. we learned why you never… EVER, give a werewolf too much sugar.."
Authors note: Well there ya have it! If you liked it please leave a review, if you REALLY liked it you can favorite! :) I apologize if your head exploded from all the weirdness and strangeness in this, but didn't you see it coming? LMAO XD