Pleasing the Audience 11

by Persiana13

One Shot. In this one, Catman makes his demands known yet again, and Catwoman wants something too.

Pleasing the Audience 11

Disclaimer: All familiar characters belong to DC or Marvel. I own Farrah/Persiana and Lance/Diablos.

One Shot

Catman entered, upset,

"Persiana13!"

Oh, great. You again. What is it this time?
Catman demanded,

"I am here to may a request."

I have one too; drop dead.

Catman scowled,

"I'll ignore that."

Diablos entered,

"Catman, if this is another one of your attempts to try and get paired up with Farrah, it's not going to happen."

He's right. It's not. I just like torturing him.

Catman said,

"Very well; I want to be paired up with Tigra then."

Diablos groaned,

"You don't give up, do you?"

Catman said,

"Nope! Guys dig the fuzzy chicks. Especially if they're feline."

In your case, it's more of an obsession. I've seen the walls in your dressing room, Catman. You seriously need help.

Catman declared,

"NEVER! I SHALL BE PAIRED UP WITH TIGRA, AND WE WILL HAVE KITTENS!"

Tigra entered,

"Not on your life!"

Tigra pounced Catman, attempting to maul him.

Diablos shrugged,

"Gee, didn't see that coming."

Catman shrieked,

"THE PAIN! MAKE IT STOP! MAKE HER STOP! DIABLOS, YOU'RE A HERO! DO SOMETHING!"

Diablos looked at the mauling and conjured up chair with his powers and a bowl of popcorn. He sat down and watched as Tigra was still mauling Catman

Tigra shouted,

"Get it through your skull, buddy! I do not want to have kittens with you! Stop stalking me and my little sister!"

The author winced,

Ok, I've seen some pretty gross things on CSI and When Animals Attack, but this takes the cake.

The author turned to Diablos,

Can I have some popcorn?

Diablos handed over the bowl,

"Knock yourself out."

After a few minutes of mindlessly watching the carnage and horrors Tigra was inflicting, Diablos telekinetically lifted a broom and swept Catman off stage. Catman, off camera, whimpered,

"Pain. The pain."

Tigra shook her head,

"Hopefully, that'll teach him."

Farrah entered with Cheetah,

"Hey, Greer. What was the commotion?"

Tigra said nonchalantly,

"Catman tried to ask if he could make kittens with me."

Cheetah rolled her eyes,

"That guy is never going to take a hint.

Then, she took notice of Diablos and said,

"Well, hello, stud!"

She strutted up to him. Farrah scowled,

"That's my boyfriend, Babs! You can't have him!"

Cheetah shook her head,

"Chill, Farrah. I'm only window shopping.
Cheetah walked around, whisking her tail in delight. She said,

"Oh, you are so yummy. How does Farrah do it?"

Tigra grinned,

"I've often wondered the same thing."

She and Farrah both strut up to Diablos. Diablos backed away,

"Uh, ladies, let's talk about this for a minute."

A bucket of fish fell on top of Diablos. He wretched,

"What the hell, man?"

Sorry, I can't resist doing this.
All three were-cats started to sniff and stare hungrily at Diablos. Diablos swallowed,

"Uh-oh. !"

Diablos ran off stage, the were-cats in hot pursuit. The insane author laughed,

Oh, the wonders never cease around here.

Catwoman entered,

"Persiana13!"

What do you want, Catwoman? I'm busy enjoying Catman's cries of pain. I'm thinking of making a CD full of Catman's most girlish screams.

Catwoman scowled,

"You said I was going to be featured on the next Dancing Fools, and, instead, you don't! I want to be put on the next Dancing Fools!"

The author sighed,

Fine, my next Dancing Fools will feature you on it.

Catwoman threatened,

"And I had better be dancing with Batman, or I'll neuter you in your sleep."

She left.

The author shouted,

Go choke on a hair ball.

The author muttered,

Bitch.

Loud crashes could be heard, followed by three animalistic roars. Then, silence.

I hope Diablos is all right. I have an important fight scene with him coming up soon.

End of One Shot