You're Lost Little Girl

Chapter 1: An Unlikely Pair

"So, you told her right?"

"What? No." Amy threw her bag on the ground and tried to tie her hair up in the heat. Her hair kept falling out and annoying the hell out of her. "What do you think I am, a magician?!"

"Sweetie, it doesn't have to be this hard. You're torturing yourself."

"Oh right, so it's my fault?!"

"Kinda?" Shane grimaced.

"Great, you too?!" She backed away from him and picked up her bag. "Everyone is always on her side. Always! I thought you were different!" She saw Oliver across the quad and began to walk over to him.

"Ew, Oliver." Shane mouthed to himself. Amy was far from him now and Lauren approached tactlessly.

"What the hell was that?" Lauren asked.

"Oh nothing, just your bestie having another unnecessary melt-down."

"She's not my bestie. She's my enemy."

"Oh…" Shane pouted, "I thought I was your enemy…" He pretended to look sad.

"Cann it gaymo! I don't have time for your bullshit today. My wonderful step-mother is making me drag that little terror around with me. We're doing decorations for the wedding reception and she's driving me up the wall!"

"Y'all friends now?" Shane joked, using Farrah's very natural southern accent.

"No. We are not friends. And I am in hell. Do you have any idea how very clueless Amy is when it comes to decorations and girly things? She's horrible! She's a mess! She's worse than a boy. She sees toys and gets distracted. She sees candy and forgets we have a mission. Not to mention her idea of decorating is so basic that it pains me… It's like taking care of a two year old! I feel like I'm trapped in one of those horrible cheesy tv shows where I have to train one of the clueless drones on how to live in the real world!"

"Oh wow… Thanks for all that information I really don't care about."

"Sh- uh!" Lauren groaned. "You know what I mean! She's impossible!" Lauren stomped.

"Wait, why are you talking to me?" Shane's whole body did a pivot to get close to her.

"You were with Amy. She's acting weird." Lauren said simply. It was getting on her nerves that Amy had been running around just as angry as her. Anger was Lauren's thing, not Amy's. And what was with all the helpfulness? Amy didn't give a flying fuck about weddings! The more Lauren thought about it, the weirder it seemed that Amy should volunteer to help. "There's gotta be something wrong with her. She's acting insane." Lauren spat.

"Yeaaaahhhh, Amy has kind of been a handful lately, what with her crush on Karma and ooooooooooooooh my lord, I was NOT supposed to say that out loud!" Shane laughed, holding his mouth and internally punching himself. He was usually very good at holding in the secrets but this one had been secret for so long that it was actually starting to feel like a universal truth. Amy was so open with him he had actually forgotten she wasn't like that with anyone else, least of all Lauren.

"Wait!" Lauren lit up like a Christmas tree and grabbed at Shane. "Did you just say that Amy actually has a crush on Karma? Did you just say that? You said that right?! Tell me you said that! Tell me!" She was holding him by his tie, at his collar, and smiling a fiendish smile of almost desperate need. Little as she was, Lauren frightened Shane greatly. The woman got a look in her eye and Shane knew it could only mean trouble.

"Okay, I said that but shhhhhhhhhhh," he tried to defuse her. "If Amy knows I told you she'll never speak to me again." He grabbed her by the shoulders to keep her from running off and starting the rumor mill.

"What an absolute delight! What a SCANDAL! This is amazing! This is the best news I've gotten all year. This is everything I've ever wanted wrapped up in a shiny gold bow."

"LAUREN! EARTH TO LAUREN! I MEAN IT! I reeeeally like Amy okay? I know she's like your step-sister and by law you are required to hate her, but she's a nice person! She's pathetic and sad and her hair's really pretty and she smells nice and she's so confused about life and I just want to marry her off to Karma and watch her procreate in an abandoned wooden cabin near a lake where I'll summer and bring my boy-toys for mimosas and naked night swimming…" He seemed to be off somewhere else. Lauren stared in awe.

"Wow. You've really thought this through." Lauren tried to be disgusted but in the end she just felt really amused by Shane's obvious knack for fantasizing about his friends. Lauren had a vivid imagination and she herself would set up these perfect scenes, but she never told anyone because WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!

"Yeah…" he panted, out of breath. He was still there on that old wooden dock watching Anderson Cooper dive into the still lake. "I really really have…" He gulped.

"Oohh, kayy…." Lauren remained calm.

"OH! YOU CAN HELP! YOU'RE JUST WHAT I NEEDED!" He stepped back from her, returned to Hester High, and visually assessed himself, coughing and straightening out his shirt as if he had fallen in dirt. "I'm sorry… Did I really just say that?" He cocked his head.

"Yeah, ya did." Lauren stared.

"I'm really off my game."

"Don't worry. You've never had game."

"Shut up. You can help me."

"Why would I ever agree to help you? You're like gay Satan."

"Your step-sister has been hanging around the house a lot more lately, hasn't she?" He smiled knowingly. "She's been pouting and worrying and trying to hide from Karma the clueless and Sir Liam the sex carpenter. If you help me out, Amy will be too busy to bother you, she'll be too happy!" He smiled. "Come on, you know I'm right." He raised an eyebrow and smirked at her mischievously. "The sooner Karma knows, the sooner they're at least real friends again. Whattaya say? Charity mission?" He nudged her shoulder with his own.

"Fine. I'm in." She relented quick, not smiling at all or showing any hint of satisfaction. As much as she hated the idea of Amy being MORE smug and MORE ungrateful, she hated more the idea of having to spend many more afternoons with her clueless step-sister from hell who's new goal in life was to avoid Karma and therefore find something, ANYTHING ELSE to do, which meant WEDDING PLANNING and that was Lauren's whole life at current, the only thing that brought her joy. Karma was like Amy's only friend. With Karma gone all Amy had was her family. Lauren swallowed harshly when she thought about it all and a painful knot stuck in her throat and she couldn't figure out if it was bitterness or maybe just caring. "What do I do, what do we need? I hope you have a plan because I do not have time for any more useless drama."

"Bitch, this isn't Pretty Little Liars! Do I look like Aria Montgomery? Of course I have a fucking plan!"

"Alright, alright, talk to me. I'll give you 'til the end of lunch." She checked her watch anxiously. "If you don't sell me on this right now I'm out, and no matter how this ends we're back to enemies right after, agreed?"

"Agreed."

"Shake on it."

"Yes ma'am."

They shook hands.