It was a time of many horrors at Hogwarts. Many lived in fear. Some in denial. But most lived in bitterness. For even the event of Proffesor Snape being 'accidentally' turned into a small, fluffy hamster had brought not a smile to the faces of the scared students. (Well,okay,maybe just a little one...) No, this was a horror beyond all horrors. No one had ever seen anything like it. No, this even surpassed the 80's. (Now that was scary...with all those yuppies running blindly through this world...like tadpoles, tadpoles with abnormally large hair who had gotten hold of one too many shoulder-pads.)
But this...this was worse. He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named had returned. He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named could strike fear into the heart of any witch or wizard, for He-Who-Must-Not- AHH, THE HELL WITH IT! THIS IS GETTING REDICULOUS! Voldie-poo had come back, as I was saying. And as...as....as...OH THE HORROR!! He's a....he's a......
A STRANGE AQUATIC CREATURE FROM THE PLANET X!!!!!!!!!!! Well, actually, no, thats not true. I just lie for the fun of it. So chain me to the wall. Actually, he's a, well, it is scary....the Murderer-Formaly-Known-As-He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named has now become the...the Teeney-Bopper-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named!!! May the Lord help us all with this tradgedy. Yes, that was him: that strange man that stood infront of you at the last N*Sync concert, screaming his head off. And yes, the one that was a little to giddy when he met Christina Aguilara on Fanatic (on MTV...yes, he was giddier than most.) Voldie had somehow been able to get into Hogwarts, and, while walking down the hall, broke into a lively rendition of "Hit Me Baby, One More Time..." complete with costume and backup dancers (Lucius Malfoy had nothing better to do.) Children and Teachers alike ran for their lives. It was horror. Madness. Insanity. Chaos. The poor people (*tears welling up in eyes*) they just couldnt hear it again. Some were trampled to death. Some died from shock. They just could never figure out where the music was coming from. Poor little Hamster-Snape didn't stand a chance. He died a hero.....no, thats another lie. He just died a hamster.
This event caused panic throughout the wizarding world. Parents locked their children in cellers, and gave them music to listen to such as Kid Rock, Marilyn Manson, and Eminem. All giggling was ban, along with fun, happy music and bleached blonde hair. There were no boy bands, and any one that suggested otherwise was sent to live on a tiny island in the middle of no where to live with the Deranged One-Hit-Wonders of past generations (ohh....so thats where they are!) Bubblegum Pop were two words that, when put together, caused wizards and witches to clasp their hands over their ears and howl in terror.
No one was safe. Everytime Voldie began to sing along with Mandy Moore, Harry Potter would clutch his scar in pain, as he would when Voldemort was feeling particuarly spiffy. And as the world of this terrible new faze grew, the more terror reigned throughout Hogwarts. Voldie would jump in un expectedly, kidnap a student, and warble "Oops, I Did It Again" to them until they died of agony. No one was safe. People suddenly became fake blonde, sprayed orange with fake tanning spray, and would wake up to find that all of their robes were trashy and pink.
Now, this horror still exists of course. Many have gone into hiding. You can't trust anyone. Dementors have now taken the form of Eminem or Giant Zits, in atempt it will frighten the Teeney Boppers (a.k.a. Death Eaters) even more. And they will perform a vicious Cat Fight instead of the infamous "kiss." Because, let's face it, they would just think it was a compliment.
No one is safe. Not you, not I. Now, we must sing. Sing together, pull together through this time of tradgedy. Yes, Harry, you join hands with- no, over there, Neville...Hermione, stop it and sit down- no, there, a nice big circl- no, too far out Lavender, come in closer, like- over there Neville-OH, BLOODY HELL! SIT DOWN FOR GOD'S SAKE!!! Thaaaaat's better. Now, these dark forces is the reason why we are gatheres here today. We must sing. Every body together, let our voices rise and unite...."I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady...."
The End.
I would like to apoligize for this fanfic.
Disclaimer: All songs belong to the rightful owner, Characters belong to J.K. Rowling, the most wonderful author in the known world, yatta yatta yatta.....
But this...this was worse. He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named had returned. He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named could strike fear into the heart of any witch or wizard, for He-Who-Must-Not- AHH, THE HELL WITH IT! THIS IS GETTING REDICULOUS! Voldie-poo had come back, as I was saying. And as...as....as...OH THE HORROR!! He's a....he's a......
A STRANGE AQUATIC CREATURE FROM THE PLANET X!!!!!!!!!!! Well, actually, no, thats not true. I just lie for the fun of it. So chain me to the wall. Actually, he's a, well, it is scary....the Murderer-Formaly-Known-As-He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named has now become the...the Teeney-Bopper-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named!!! May the Lord help us all with this tradgedy. Yes, that was him: that strange man that stood infront of you at the last N*Sync concert, screaming his head off. And yes, the one that was a little to giddy when he met Christina Aguilara on Fanatic (on MTV...yes, he was giddier than most.) Voldie had somehow been able to get into Hogwarts, and, while walking down the hall, broke into a lively rendition of "Hit Me Baby, One More Time..." complete with costume and backup dancers (Lucius Malfoy had nothing better to do.) Children and Teachers alike ran for their lives. It was horror. Madness. Insanity. Chaos. The poor people (*tears welling up in eyes*) they just couldnt hear it again. Some were trampled to death. Some died from shock. They just could never figure out where the music was coming from. Poor little Hamster-Snape didn't stand a chance. He died a hero.....no, thats another lie. He just died a hamster.
This event caused panic throughout the wizarding world. Parents locked their children in cellers, and gave them music to listen to such as Kid Rock, Marilyn Manson, and Eminem. All giggling was ban, along with fun, happy music and bleached blonde hair. There were no boy bands, and any one that suggested otherwise was sent to live on a tiny island in the middle of no where to live with the Deranged One-Hit-Wonders of past generations (ohh....so thats where they are!) Bubblegum Pop were two words that, when put together, caused wizards and witches to clasp their hands over their ears and howl in terror.
No one was safe. Everytime Voldie began to sing along with Mandy Moore, Harry Potter would clutch his scar in pain, as he would when Voldemort was feeling particuarly spiffy. And as the world of this terrible new faze grew, the more terror reigned throughout Hogwarts. Voldie would jump in un expectedly, kidnap a student, and warble "Oops, I Did It Again" to them until they died of agony. No one was safe. People suddenly became fake blonde, sprayed orange with fake tanning spray, and would wake up to find that all of their robes were trashy and pink.
Now, this horror still exists of course. Many have gone into hiding. You can't trust anyone. Dementors have now taken the form of Eminem or Giant Zits, in atempt it will frighten the Teeney Boppers (a.k.a. Death Eaters) even more. And they will perform a vicious Cat Fight instead of the infamous "kiss." Because, let's face it, they would just think it was a compliment.
No one is safe. Not you, not I. Now, we must sing. Sing together, pull together through this time of tradgedy. Yes, Harry, you join hands with- no, over there, Neville...Hermione, stop it and sit down- no, there, a nice big circl- no, too far out Lavender, come in closer, like- over there Neville-OH, BLOODY HELL! SIT DOWN FOR GOD'S SAKE!!! Thaaaaat's better. Now, these dark forces is the reason why we are gatheres here today. We must sing. Every body together, let our voices rise and unite...."I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady...."
The End.
I would like to apoligize for this fanfic.
Disclaimer: All songs belong to the rightful owner, Characters belong to J.K. Rowling, the most wonderful author in the known world, yatta yatta yatta.....