Title: Turkey, Stowaways And Shopping
Author:S A Martin
Synopsis: Thanksgiving week 2003 in the White House
Characters: Ensemble
Rating: PG
Spoilers: Up to S5, Abu El Banat
Disclaimer: The West Wing and all its characters belong to Aaron Sorkin, Thomas Schlamme, John Wells.....
MONDAY
"What the hell is wrong with Toby?" Josh asked CJ as she left the pressroom.
"The proclamation."
"What about it?"
"He has to write it on his own."
"It's just the proclamation, it's five lines, what's the big deal?" Josh asked.
CJ looked at him, "I dare you to say that to Toby," she smiled.
"No I think I'll give that a miss," Josh grinned.
"Good choice," CJ smiled. "By the way, Thursday?"
"Yeah?"
"We've decided it's your turn to host the Thanksgiving party."
"Akay," Josh nodded. "But while I can provide the TV and some alcohol, I have no food."
"Then you need to shop," CJ smiled as she walks away.
"Once the singing's finished you leave for Manchester," Leo added.
"I have to wait until after the singing?" Jed asked.
"I think the children will be upset if you don't, Sir," CJ told him.
"Yeah," Jed reluctantly agreed. "So what are you all doing?"
"Watching the game," Josh replied.
"I'm starting my Christmas shopping first," CJ added. "No," she told Toby and Josh, "I am not buying food."
"You've no food?" Toby asked Josh.
"Not unless you're bringing some," Josh told him. "I have alcohol."
Toby smiled, "OK."
"Why are you starting your shopping so early?" Josh asked CJ.
"Because Donna doesn't have time to do my shopping as well as yours, and it's not that early."
Jed looked up from the file he was glancing at. "Donna does your shopping?"
"She insists," Josh told him. "I choose the gifts."
"Since when?" CJ laughed.
"Hey!" Josh protested, "my relatives know I'm busy."
"Well your mom certainly does," CJ commented.
"It's not my fault she moved to the other end of the country."
"It may be," CJ grinned.
"DONNA!" Josh yelled as he stood and walked round his desk. "Donna."
Donna appeared in the doorway, "It's so good to have you back to your normal, bellowing self," she teased. "How can I help?"
"There's no need for that attitude. I was going to be nice, but it doesn't matter now."
"What?"
"No," Josh turned back into his office and sat in front of his computer.
"Josh!"
Josh smiled, "What you doing on Thursday?"
"Oh God, why?"
"You're very suspicious, Miss Moss."
"Five years working for you, is that really surprising?"
"I guess not," Josh agreed as he started replying to an email.
"Thursday?" Donna prompted.
"You want to come to my apartment, get drunk and eat too much? The others have invited themselves."
"Yeah," Donna smiled, "you need me to bring anything?"
"Alcohol, food," Josh grinned.
TUESDAY
Leo looked up to find Josh hovering in his doorway. "Yeah?"
"This is kind of weird, but there's a container ship that's two days out of port. The crew have discovered seven stowaways."
"Haven't we had this before?" Leo asked.
"This is a little different. This one's on its way from New York to Dublin. The stowaways are Americans."
Leo took his glasses off and stared at Josh. "Americans are trying to leave the country by smuggling themselves onto a container ship?"
"I think they're down and outs who were sleeping onboard when the ship left port. I don't think they're going to ask for asylum when they reach Ireland. Although there'd be a certain irony in it."
"Why?" Leo asked cautiously.
"Well thousands of Irish sailed from Dublin to New York.... never mind. The point is, the captain wants to know what we do."
"Why is this our concern?"
"Because they're US citizens, on a Hong Kong registered ship, sailing to Ireland and no one wants to take responsibility for getting them home."
"What exactly do they expect us to do; send a Navy helicopter to pick them up?" Leo looked at Josh, "You are joking, they expect us to send a helicopter to pick them up."
"Yeah. But there's a problem with that. We don't know who they are. The might not be tramps."
"You think they could be terrorists in disguise?" Leo asked, his expression somewhere between amused and concerned.
"Well I don't, but State think there's a chance, yes."
"Josh, why the hell would terrorists smuggle themselves onboard a Hong Kong registered ship sailing to Ireland?"
"How would I know?"
"Turn the ship around."
"The captain won't. He's already two days out; if he turns around he'll be at least four days late in Ireland, depending on the tides and how long he's delayed by customs. He says he's quite willing to take them to Ireland, assuming the Irish will let them in, as long as we pay for their passage and food, but then we have to get them back here."
Leo sighed. "The shipping company should pay, they're the ones who allowed seven people to walk onto their ship."
"They say it's the fault of the security at the harbor."
"Talk to State again and to someone at Customs."
"Yeah," Josh turned to leave.
"You'd better call the Coast Guard as well. And brief CJ, someone's bound to ask her, this being Thanksgiving an all."
Josh smiled, "You do see the irony."
WEDNESDAY
"Why can't you get the food?" Donna asked.
"I'm providing the surroundings."
"So it's a 'bring a plate' party?"
"Yes," Josh agreed, "that's a good idea, I'll tell the others."
"Except CJ and I will be the only ones who bring any food and we'll end up eating whatever we can find in your freezer," Donna pointed out.
"Unless you take some money out of my wallet and go to the supermarket -- you'll note that I'm paying."
"And I'm fighting through the insane people who act like the stores are closed for a month and are stocking for a siege."
"Yes," Josh nodded. "On the plus side, you won't have to cook."
"You're going to cook?"
"You may have to cook, unless you buy ready cooked."
"I hate it when you have people over," Donna sighed and left the office, calling over her shoulder, "Phone Matthew Greggs at State."
"Josh," Leo called as he walked through the bullpen and caught Josh up. "What's happening with the stowaways?"
"The Coast Guard say they can't do anything because the ship's out of our territorial waters. The Navy are reluctant, seems they don't have any ships in the area."
"The Navy has no ships in the Atlantic?"
"It's a big ocean."
"So where does that leave us?"
"State have spoken to the Irish, who are willing to take them into custody as soon as the ship docks."
"Which will be?"
"December 5th."
"And then?"
"Someone, which I think means us, will have to pay either to fly or sail them home. Oh, and for their passage to Ireland and their board while they're there."
"The Irish want us to pay the hotel bill?" Leo asked.
"Yeah. Though I think it'll be a police station."
"It's a good job we were more understanding when they came here," Leo commented.
Josh tried not to smile too much. "By 'they' you mean your ancestors?"
"Yeah," Leo grudgingly admitted with a slight smile. This is what he'd missed the last few weeks, Josh's cheeky off-hand comments. "Why can't the Hong Kong government pay?"
"China?" Josh asked.
"Yeah, forget I asked that."
THURSDAY
"CJ."
"Joshua. What's up?"
"You still going shopping?"
"Yes."
"Can I come?"
"You want to come shopping, Christmas shopping?"
"I need to get some ideas."
CJ smiled, "Who for?"
"Just ideas."
"Who for?" CJ repeated.
"Donna. Can I come?"
"You want me to help you choose?"
"No. I want to choose, I just hate shopping on my own. Can I come?"
"Yes, on two conditions."
"I carry the bags?"
"Three conditions," CJ smiled. "You also buy coffees and promise not to whine if we go to the same shop more than once."
"I think we have a solution, finally," Josh told Leo.
"I'm almost scared to ask."
"The ships doctor's checked them over and says they're healthy, so the captain's fine about taking them to Ireland -- they are half way there after all. When they reach Ireland, the police will take them to a hospital to be checked thoroughly and then, provided they're OK, they'll be taken to the airport, put on a plane and sent back here."
"Why can't they sail back?"
"It's a two week crossing, it'll be Christmas. Anyway there's a strong body of opinion that says we manage to fly illegal immigrants back to Asia and Africa, we should be able to fly our own people home."
"I guess you can't argue with that. So who's paying?"
"The shipping company doesn't want anything for the passage and food, five of the seven are working on the ship and it'll be good PR for them."
"Why only five?"
"The other two are in their seventies."
"You're kidding? Well okay, fair enough. I guess we pick up the cost of the flight and whatever they get in Ireland?"
"Yeah."
"Good, at least it's sorted."
"What are you doing this afternoon?" Josh asked.
"Dinner with Jordan."
"Escaped the First Family this year then," Josh smiled.
"Just," Leo replied. Jed had been badgering him to go with them, but somehow Leo didn't think Abbey would be too pleased about that. "You?"
"I'm going Christmas shopping and then watching the game."
"Have a good time."
"You too," Josh replied as he leaves the office.
ALL DONE